Life is a Flight
by Miraichaos
Summary: Takashi Shirogane is a third-year college student who keeps to himself. He is avoided due to his intimidating appearance, which is feared and mocked by others. His only friend is his younger "brother" Keith. Shiro is prepared for another year of isolation until his phone breaks and he visits the IT Center, where he meets a kind boy named Matt who may turn out to be his first friend
1. Day 1

A/N: So I started writing this weeks before s4 was released, so my characterization of Matt is a bit off. He doesn't show up in this chapter, which is mostly setting the place and introducing Shiro, but I promise it won't take long for Matt to appear. I'm also aware that college, military ranks, and other such things don't work in reality the way they work in this fic, but I did this the way I did for the story. To follow reality would make it a lot more difficult and I'd have to mess with their ages a little. Anyway I hope you all can enjoy this. The first chapter is boring, I know, but I have to get that set before I can get into the relationship. Sorry for any errors, typos, etc and enjoy the chapter

* * *

"Takashi Shirogane?"

A tan-skinned man with dull brown eyes approached the counter, wisps of white hair tangling in his eyelashes. The rest of his hair was grey and extremely short, nothing but fuzz on the bottom and nearly completely shorn off on the top, besides a tuft of white at the very front above his forehead. He was tall with very broad shoulders, and scars littered his skin where it wasn't covered by his t-shirt, worn leather gloves, or pants. The worst of them that any regular person could see was a pinkish-brown one that stretched over the bridge of his nose.

Everything about him screamed military, warrior, and intimidation. Those in the room with him shrunk away slightly, the very few who had children with them pulling their kids toward them and as far away from the man's path as possible. He looked dangerous, and his tense posture gave away his constant alertness.

"You're Takashi Shirogane?" the old woman at the desk asked, eyeing the man cautiously. He pretended not to notice.

"Yes ma'am," the man, Shiro, told her with a small smile. The woman relaxed at his politeness, and she spun in her chair to pick up the folder next to her computer.

"I just need you to sign a few things on this paper and make sure all the details with your scholarship are right. If you have any questions, feel free to ask," she said, marking a few lines with X's were he needed to sign.

Shiro gave the woman a nod and looked down at the paper, his eyes carefully scanning each and every word. With each correct section, he signed his name, making sure he wouldn't mess up and end up with a hefty bill at the end of the semester. Each section he read efficiently but with enough care to not miss anything, and once he reached the bottom he found that everything was in order. His classes and boarding were covered, and he only needed to pay for food and textbooks. Everything was as it should have been, and Shiro touched the pen to the paper to sign his name one final time. Just before he started, he glimpsed the typed words just above the line, his name spelled out in its entirety and… his rank.

Shiro paused for a moment as his mind flew back to the last time someone had spoken his rank. He'd been fresh out of the hospital, his body held together by stitches and bandages wrapped all around him. And his arm, the surprise he'd woken up to after being so sure he'd die. His arm, nothing but stitches, fresh scars, and so much metal. It had been salvaged to the point that he still had perfect use of his arm and hand, but it wasn't at all the same as before. That day when he'd been discharged, when his former commander fixed a purple heart on his uniform, all Shiro could feel was the cold metal beneath his bandages. It was patched to his skin and filled the parts of his bones that were missing or too broken to mend. Too many stitches held together what would later become even more scars.

Shiro didn't realize he was shaking until his pen tapped the paper again, and he shook his head to return to the present. A quick glance around revealed that no one was staring at him, no one had noticed his small episode. Letting out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, Shiro carefully signed the paper using his name and former rank, then handed it back to the woman behind the counter. She gave him a smile and a tagged key in return.

"Your dorm building and number are written on the tag. If you have any trouble finding your room, just ask for help," she told him when he accepted the key and flipped the tag over to read it.

"Thank you very much," he told her with a slight nod before turning. He retrieved his bags from where he had left them on the floor and headed for the door, not looking back. It was his third year, and his dorm room was the same one it had been the two previous years. A family dorm converted into a single for students with disabilities who may need more space. At a glance, no one would think Shiro was disabled at all. However, he was clinically diagnosed with a somewhat severe case of PTSD from the events of his military career, and that was quite enough to get him labeled as "disabled". He was also allowed a therapy animal, and even though he didn't have an kind of specially trained pet, he did have a cat he'd found abandoned in a dumpster as a kitten. The small creature had been tied up in a plastic bag and was missing an eye and a chunk of one ear. Shiro had never expected to adopt any kind of animal, but the kitten had reminded him of himself. It was alone an damaged, but still fighting.

After a short walk away from the main campus office, Shiro found his building. It was one of the smaller, quieter ones, set up like a motel with two floors rather than the hotel-like layout of most other dorms. It sat surrounded by trees and bushes that blocked out the world, lending Shiro the peace he desperately needed.

Shiro's footsteps were soft and quiet as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, then walked to the very end of the balcony that spanned the entire front of the building until he reached his door. He slipped the key into the lock and listened to it release with a familiar click. The door opened smoothly, and he stepped into the room that had been his home for four semesters so far, going on five.

The room was decently sized, with a living area just inside the door, a small kitchen and dining area off of that, and two bedrooms with a bathroom tucked between them. Shiro wandered through each room, pulling a frayed sweatshirt from around his waist and tossing it on the sofa. He made a stop in the bathroom and pulled a pack of toiletries from the duffel bag dangling from his fist, leaving it on the counter of the sink to be unpacked later. He then stepped into the bigger of the two bedrooms, which he used for working out. He no longer needed to stay fit, as he wasn't in the military anymore, but his old habits brought him a little too much comfort to just let go of them. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor and heard the satisfying clink of dumbbells within it, then moved on to the other bedroom.

Shiro's feet covered the familiar distance between the doorway and the bed that was tucked into the corner. He turned and slowly sat on the plain mattress, hearing the bedframe creak under his weight. Shrugging his backpack from his shoulders, Shiro let out a deep sigh and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his face into his hands. He was exhausted already from the long drive to the college, the hours of being regarded with tension and unease while working on checking in and doing paperwork related to his scholarship, and lugging two heavy bags the entire way. Everything in his body ached, and even the hunks of metal that had replaced most of his right arm felt tired.

 _Meow._

The zipper on Shiro's backpack clanged, and the man turned around just in time to see a fluffy head poke through the small unzipped portion of the bag. A cat, much smaller than it should have been at its age, looked at Shiro with nothing but innocence. It's head was black with a white circle around its missing left eye, and splotches of white dotted its chest and back before melting into pure white to the base of its tail and middle of its legs. At those points the fur turned black again, all the way to the underside of the cat's paws. The only aberration was the cat's right foreleg, which was entirely black except for some small splotches of white. That was the part of the cat Shiro loved most, besides its sweet behavior and the comfort it brought him.

"Eurus!" Shiro called softly with a small smile. His voice rasped, betraying how tired he was, and the cat seemed to notice. It wiggled out of the backpack and jumped onto Shiro's back, climbing to his shoulders before dropping on his lap and flopping on its side. "Good girl," he said to her, and the cat, Eurus, nuzzled his hand affectionately.

Shiro settled into a rhythm as he stroked the cat's soft fur, and her purrs reached his ears even after he had lain back on the bed and closed his eyes. Shiro didn't even know he was drifting off until he was already swallowed up by dreams.

-000-

Shiro awoke to a warmth on his chest, and when he blinked his eyes open he found Eurus curled up on him, asleep. It brought a smile to the man's face, and he lifted a hand to scratch the cat's chin as his gaze turned to the window. It was dark out, but he didn't have a clock to tell the time. He had his phone, but it was in his back pocket and he wouldn't be able to get it without disturbing Eurus.

With a quiet sigh, Shiro resigned himself to waiting until Eurus stirred, and he traced the faint lines of the uneven surface beneath the paint on the ceiling with his eyes. They were swirly like clouds, and reminded him of the sky. He began to feel the memory of wind in his hair, blowing his bangs from his face as he stood on the runway. The echo of roaring engines filled his ears, and he was back in his jet. The world around him was a beautiful blue with puffy splotches of white clouds surfing lazily in the breeze below him. A streak of grey caught his eye as one of his crew whizzed by, howling with glee through the headset. Shiro couldn't bring himself to tell the soldier off as a small chuckle escaped him. The force against his chest as he accelerated after his comrade was a familiar embrace that he welcomed, at least until it began to grow too strong. Puzzled, Shiro attempted to speak, but his vocal cords were suddenly strained and raw, incapable of making anything but pathetic rasps. The next thing he knew, he was in captivity.

Ropes bound Shiro tightly to a chair, biting his wrists and constricting his chest. Each breath took energy he didn't think he had. The bridge of his nose throbbed and burned, the wound still relatively fresh and growing infected. The blindfold tied around his head was tight enough to make him feel the pressure on his skull. He could feel his ribs straining his skin, his muscle and fat gone from weeks and weeks of starvation and little movement. His mind was lost, afraid, hurting, and broken. A small part of him hoped rescue would come, but he'd mostly given up on that. All he could feel was pain and misery, and despite the break from torture at the moment, he knew something worse was to come.

A sharp pain drew Shiro out of his mind and he gasped for breath, bolting upright and starling Eurus. Her claws dug further into his stomach during the motion before she tumbled completely off him and onto the bed. Shiro's eyes widened momentarily and he reached for the cat quickly. Picking her up, Shiro stroked Eurus's head a few times apologetically and set her back on his lap, where she turned to look at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, still a little out of breath. Eurus stared another moment, then nudged her head against his stomach. Shiro smiled and began to pet the cat again, thankful for her forgiveness.

When Eurus jumped off of Shiro's lap and jogged to the door, Shiro remembered he hadn't fed her in a while, and he hadn't had access to a little box all day. He hurriedly jumped to his feet and ran to the room with his duffel bag, which held a large plastic bag full of litter and a litter box. Shiro dropped the box in the corner before dumping the litter in, and he'd barely finished before Eurus was in the box.

Shiro left Eurus to do her business and returned to his bedroom, where he opened his backpack and emptied it. He put the clothes in the dresser, taking extra care with his aviation uniform, and stacked the books on the desk, then pulled out the various other things that filled the nooks and crannies in the bag. A sack of cat treats went on the desk, a pocket knife beside it. A laptop charger and laptop were set out on Shiro's bed, and he plugged the laptop in and turned it on to check out his class list one last time. A few other things from the backpack were settled in various places around the room, then Shiro finally pulled out his phone to check the time. 6am.

Deciding it wasn't worth it to sleep, given his classes started in three hours, Shiro moved on to the other room to unpack his duffel. Dumbbells were placed gently on the floor, and a small standing punching bag was pushed into a corner. A medicine ball rolled to a stop next to the dumbbells. Some more clothes and a few other things were pulled from the duffel bag until it was empty, and Shiro wandered through his dorm placing everything in its place until his arms and both his bags were empty. Once he finished, he checked the time again. 6:45am.

Shiro spent the remaining two hours before his class checking for assignments online, making his bed, working out, showering, and devouring a couple granola bars for breakfast. At 8:30am he was headed out the door in his uniform while Eurus weaved around his feet until he shut the door.


	2. Recommendation

A/N: Let's pretend this isn't garbage I uploaded while exhausted from a week of work/school going on 21 hours without sleep. I promise Matt is in chapter three :)

* * *

Ten minutes before class, Shiro reached the designated room. Ten other students sat in the rows of seats, most of them on their phones, one with a book, though all of them were familiar faces. Everyone in the room was at the same level of training, and with just two aviation classes in that level, it was rare to not know everyone else. Transfers from other colleges never brought new faces into the aviation program, despite seeming to expand just about every other major.

At exactly 8am, the instructor walked in. A tall man with bulging muscles who was bigger than Shiro strode to the front of them room, crossing his beefy arms over his chest as his beady eyes scanned the students intently. The corner of his lips curved up just slightly when his eyes passed over Shiro, who dipped his head a fraction in return.

After a minute of silence, the instructor finally spoke.

"I see many familiar faces from the exam last year. A few I was impressed with, as well," he stated, glancing briefly at Shiro. "Besides that, welcome to your third year of training. For those of you who don't know me or don't remember my name, I'm ex-Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Aaron Con, and I'll be your instructor this semester. I hope you all know that my expectations are high this year, since you've all have quite a bit of experience in flight. I was present at your exams last year, and got to witness exactly what I'm dealing with, but there is always the possibility that your skills faded over the summer break. That being said, I need a more accurate gauge of your skills before we further your training. Today will be flight simulations, and once I've gotten a grasp on each of your skills and weaknesses, we'll get into the classroom stuff. Once the textbook is out of the way, we fly," he explained.

A knock on the door drew the attention of Instructor Con, who walked over and opened it a crack. None of the students could see outside, and not Instructor Con nor whoever was outside was speaking. Instead, Con peeked out the door for a moment before turning back toward the class.

"I understand that many of you plan to go into military careers after you complete your education. However, not everyone is cut out to fly a fighter jet, so we've decided to bring in an expert to help pick out the promising candidates," he stated, before stepping away from the door and returning to the middle of the room, stopping a little further to the left than the center. "Now, I have the honor of introducing General Holt, retired officer of the United States Air Force," he said with all formality, snapping his heels together and raising his fingers to his brow in a crisp salute as a tall, greying man with small, rectangular glasses and wrinkled eyes walked in. He chuckled at Instructor Con's salute, then waved his hand to get the man to relax. Instructor Con let go of his rigid posture, but his back remained straight and his chin lowered slightly as he clasped his hands behind his back respectfully.

General Holt turned to the students with a warm smile on his face, which made his eyes crinkle cheerfully. He looked nothing like a war veteran, especially one of such high rank, unless someone who knew what they were looking for gazed into his eyes. Behind a layer of warmth lay a lack of light, the despair and coldness brought on by war, loss, and pain. Shiro knew what that looked like because he saw it every day when he looked in the mirror. However, where General Holt had a blanket of warmth in his eyes that hid the darkness, Shiro did not. The younger man could only wonder how his senior had managed such a thing.

"Well hello! As Instructor Con said, I'm Holt, Samuel Holt, and will be working to help you hone your skills for whatever career you intend to pursue, mostly for those who wish to take the military route. It isn't for everyone, and I suspect that a few of you here who plan to join the Air Force will either change your minds or find that you don't have what it takes." A moment of darkness peeked through the warmth in his eyes, but was quickly buried. "You may call me Instructor Holt. While I was a General when I was serving, I'm retired now and that title is no longer needed. I look forward to working with you all, and good luck on achieving your goals for the future," he said.

A quiet chorus of 'Yes, sir's came from the students, earning a smile from Instructor Holt before he stepped back and allowed Instructor Con to take over. The younger man spoke a little more about the simulation the students would be doing, then he led the class to the flight simulation room in the basement, Instructor Holt walking beside him.

On the way downstairs, Shiro felt his phone buzz in his pocket. His mind off somewhere else, he reached into his pocket with his right hand and pulled the phone out, only to knock his elbow on the railing. While he had no feeling in most of his arm due to the metal and many dead nerves, his ulnar nerve was an important one that remained. When his arm was destroyed, his elbow survived, but a piece of something broke off and left his ulnar nerve more exposed. It was covered with a metal shield, but like anyone else, hitting his elbow a certain way and hitting that ulnar nerve sent a wave up numbness down his arm. The only difference was that, for him, it meant numbness in his entire arm, and his grip on his phone went lax as a quiet curse escaped him. The device fell helplessly to the concrete steps. It bounced from one step to another, then down another four before stopping on the first floor landing. Shiro hurried toward it, and was careful to use his left hand to pick the phone up. He flipped it over in his hand a few times and found that the screen had miraculously survived. However, when he hit the power button, nothing happened.

Just one more flight down the staircase, Instructor Con was opening the door to the basement. Most of the students who had been behind Shiro on the way down had passed him, and with a sigh the grey-haired student dropped his phone back into his pocket and booked it down the stairs, catching up with his classmates just outside the basement door. He would have to deal with his phone later. At the moment, he had a simulation to do.

-000-

The simulation was a breeze. Instructor Con had used three settings for the simulation; cargo, fighter, and commercial. The cargo simulation was all about flying steady, turning smoothly, and dealing with high wind speeds. Fighter was something that had been reality for him for a few years, and he maneuvered with expert grace, defeating all of his enemies and dodging every attack that came at him. Commercial was a bit of a struggle, since he had never flown a plane with more than one or two human passengers, especially not civilian passengers. Despite that, he handled the plane well. The simulation involved a surprise loss of power at the end, and at least half of the students failed because of it. The maneuvers for such a thing were above their level, and they hadn't yet been taught how to bring a plane back online. Shiro only knew due to his military experience, though even he struggled with the simulation, as did the others who managed to pass it to some degree.

Being last person to do the simulation, Shiro stumbled out of the room as the rest of the students were leaving, the class returning to the room for some textbook. The simulations had taken almost five hours, but the class went on for six. There was still an hour left, and Instructor Con was very intent on taking care of the textbook business as quickly as possible.

On his way to the staircase, Shiro's arm bumped into something and he turned to see Instructor Holt looking at him, studying him. The older man was a few inches shorter than Shiro, and far less bulky, but his presence was strong. It was clear that he had been a powerful leader in the past.

"Oh, uh, sorry sir," Shiro stated, tripping slightly on his words. His tone was polite and respectful as always, but for some reason he couldn't quite read Instructor Holt well enough to speak comfortably around him. There was something the man kept hidden very deep, and while Shiro could sense its existence, he couldn't see it.

Instructor Holt smiled. "Don't worry about it," he said, then his gaze flicked to Shiro's pocket. "Was that your phone I heard falling earlier?" the older man asked, taking a guess based on the sag of Shiro's shoulders and the way the younger man's fingers drummed on his pocket but didn't pull out his phone.

Shiro nodded, then reached for the device in his pocket. He pressed the power button and held it, but nothing happened. A second attempt yielded the same results, and Shiro turned the phone over in his hand in search of some kind of damage.

"I hear this school has a IT Center run by the technology professors and their best students. I was told teachers get free repairs on technology, but students have to pay. I don't believe it's too pricy, though, and I think students get their first repair free. Think about going and having the kids there take a look at your phone," Instructor Holt recommended. Shiro nodded.

"Thank you, sir. I will."

The two completed the rest of the walk in silence, Shiro occasionally stealing glances at the man beside him. Instructor Holt came off as very kind and warm, but Shiro could sense something within him that felt a bit unsettling, and he had to suppress a shiver as he walked. The feeling remained even after the two reached the classroom and moved apart, much to Shiro's discomfort. He was already starting to like Instructor Holt, but simply couldn't shake the unease the man made him feel. Shiro could only wonder if other students felt it too.

"Open to page ten in your textbooks. This is something all of you need to know, but anyone who wants to be a commercial pilot needs to pay extra attention…"

The class droned on, and as Shiro listened and took notes, he started to wonder what scene he might encounter at the IT Center.

-000-

When class was over, Shiro was the last to leave. While the rest of the students hurriedly packed up their bags to head to their next class, Shiro pulled his phone from his pocket once again. He flipped it over in his hands, studying the small piece of technology until loud music suddenly exploded in the room. The sudden noise made Shiro's head fly up, and he nearly dropped his phone. His body tensed, waiting for something to happen, but there was only an embarrassed chuckle.

At the front of the room, Instructor Holt was digging through his pockets with a small smile on his face. Pink dusted his wrinkled cheeks as he pulled his phone from his pocket and answered.

"Hey there son! How're you doing?"

Feeling like he was being invasive by hanging around during Instructor Holt's private phone call, Shiro hurriedly gathered his things and walked out of the classroom as quick as he could without seeming disrespectful. On his way out, he was careful to close the door gently so the sound wouldn't interrupt the instructor's conversation, and he accidentally overheard another sentence. Instructor Holt's tone was far more serious than before.

"Just be careful. We don't need a repeat of back then."

Shiro left before he could overhear anything else.


	3. Meeting

A/N: Whoops this is kinda trash and short. Besides that, look who showed up (o3o) Sorry about any errors or overall garbage writing. I've been even busier than usual all week and my writing skills are super rusty.

* * *

Ten minutes after leaving the classroom, Shiro was in the cafeteria. He wasn't feeling particularly hungry, despite not having eaten anything but two granola bars in the last twenty-four hours. Food wasn't why he was there. Instead, he was avoiding the IT Center. It wasn't that he was one of those guys who didn't want to associate with "nerdy people" or any of the stupid crap he'd heard throughout his life. Instead, he didn't want to go because he felt anxious. Despite what some might've thought, he was actually quite bad at socializing, and was a bit anxious around people he didn't know. Part of it was an attempt to keep others at arm's length so they wouldn't find out about his captivity, or, as ironic as it was, his arm. Overall he had never been much of a social butterfly, and the thought of walking into a room full of people far smarter than him was a bit intimidating. His greatest fear about going was that he would hand over his phone and they person at the desk would give it a little tap, then it would immediately start working just fine.

Shaking the thoughts of embarrassment out of his mind, Shiro joined the queue for the lunch line and picked up a sandwich and water. After paying, he sat down and wolfed his food down, finding that he had been extremely hungry, he just hadn't felt it. He then chugged his water and came to the realization that he no longer had any excuse to not go to the IT Center. His plan had been to eat slowly, but that clearly had not happened. For a moment he considered just waiting a day and seeing if his phone would start working again, but he made himself forget the idea when he remembered Keith would probably call. If Shiro didn't respond when his brother called, then the man would end up with an eighteen year-old more stubborn than a brat storming the school. Just the thought of it made him sigh, and the imagery overrode his anxieties and left him walking out of the cafeteria, tossing his garbage in the appropriate bins as he left.

-000-

Far too soon, Shiro was standing outside the IT Center. He was just outside the door with his back pressed against the wall as if he was on a mission, when in reality he was hoping for the silence to be broken before he entered.

Shiro let five minutes pass, then ten, and there still wasn't a single sound from the room. If it wasn't for the sign on the door stating that the place was in fact open, he would have figured there was no one there.

With a silent breath to prepare himself, Shiro slowly turned the corner and stepped into the room. His footfalls brought no noise, a trained skill, as he walked across the frayed, grey carpet. He scanned the walls and found them to be plain white concrete and totally bare. There wasn't a single poster of anything, not even any basic recommendations for troubleshooting malfunctioning tech. Even the desk that stretched across the middle of the room had nothing on it, just boring grey plastic and metal that matched the carpet below. A look at the surface of the large desk revealed nothing but a few scratches and a single bell.

The bell was a typical silver and black one with a small button on the top meant to make it ring. However, instead of ringing the bell, Shiro simply stared. He didn't know what to do at the moment. Should he ring it? Should he call out? Should he just stand there and wait for someone to come? What if no one came? What if they were closed but someone just forgot to flip the sign and close the door?

"It's not going to ring if you just stare at it."

Shiro jumped and nearly dropped his backpack on the floor at the sound of a voice. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed the approaching figure until the person spoke, something that hadn't happened since before his capture. His eyes darted up from the bell to the lone figure walking from a doorway in the back of the room toward the desk, a polite smile on their face. As the person got closer and brushed their bangs from their face, Shiro realized that it was young male, one who looked like he was in high school. He had short, light hair the color of earthy sand, and his eyes were a bright brown that looked almost gold. Medium-sized circular glasses sat in front of his eyes, and seemed to make them look even brighter. Once the boy reached the desk, Shiro noticed that he towered more than a head over the other, who wasn't quite shoulder height on Shiro. In a blue and white hoodie and grey cargo pants, the boy looked plain, but Shiro also found him intriguing. There was something oddly familiar about him that the aviation student couldn't quite place.

"Did you need help with something?" the boy asked, and Shiro realized he'd been standing there staring in complete silence for at least a solid twenty seconds.

"Oh, uh, my phone," he mumbled, slight color flushing his cheeks. He mentally slapped himself for somehow inventing another two ways his time in the tech center could go wrong and executing them both literally the moment someone walked in.

Shiro pulled his phone from his pocket and held it out for the boy on the other side of the counter, who took it and looked it over.

"I dropped it while going down the stairs. It tumbled a bit and now it won't turn on," Shiro explained, scratching the back on his head.

The boy nodded, his polite expression gone and replaced by a calculating look. He flipped the phone over a few more times, then pressed the buttons a bit. When nothing happened, he ran his finger along the side of it until he came across a small dip, and he wedged his fingernail in it. The back of the phone popped up where the boy's finger was, and he pried off the stubborn plastic with practiced ease. The boy set the back on the counter and examined the inside of the phone, looking at the battery. He then popped that out as well, and lifted the remainder of the phone up closer to his eyes. He looked a few parts over, and after about another minute of fiddling, looked up at Shiro.

"I have an idea of what could be wrong, but it'll take a while to take the phone apart and get to it. Do you think you can leave it here overnight?" the boy asked.

Shiro contemplated for a moment, then decided it was better to leave the phone with someone who actually had a chance at fixing it rather than taking it with him when it was still broken. Only the first option would get it in working order quickly.

"Sure," he said, hiking his bag further up on his shoulder. The boy behind the counter nodded and pulled a notepad and pen from his pocket.

"Do you have your school ID?" the boy asked, and Shiro nodded. The man dug into his pocket and pulled the small card out, then handed it over. The boy took it and looked it over, then began to write. He quickly scribbled out Shiro's full name and his age in a series of neat lines and loops, as well as his student number, then handed the card back. He then reached under the counter and pulled out a gallon-sized plastic bag, which he filled with the parts of Shiro's phone as well as the paper. After sealing the bag, he pulled a marker from his pocket and wrote the date on the bag, which he then placed on a cart a few paces behind him. "Come back about this time tomorrow, and your phone should be fixed. It looks like this is your first visit to us as well, so this repair is free," the boy said as he walked back to the counter. Shiro nodded.

"Thank you, uh," he paused, spotting a small metal nametag pinned to the boy's shirt, "Matt," he finished. The boy, Matt, smiled slightly.

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr. Shirogane." With that, he was gone. He disappeared as quickly as he'd appeared just minutes earlier, gone in the blink of an eye. All Shiro could do was glance around the room for a moment before he turned and left, not wanting to deal with anymore strange things or awkward encounters that day. On the bright side however, instead of being hung up on his awkward interaction, Shiro's mind was stuck on another thought. Why did Matt look so familiar?

-000-

Shiro spent the rest of his evening in classes. He sat through two hours of English and two hours of mechanics, then was finally released at 8pm. He walked out of the building and into the chilly dusk air. A breath of the cold filled him with calm and clarity, and the stress of the day melted away with a slow exhale. His head tilted back as his eyes gazed at the violet sky above, and a small part of him longed to be up with the clouds and the colors. For a fraction of a second, he wanted nothing more than to be back in his fighter jet, streaking towards the sunset. Unfortunately, he would never experience that again. He was too damaged, both physically and mentally, to go back to what he used to do. He was different than he was back then. The Takashi Shirogane of those days was dead, killed in an explosion while saving his comrades.


	4. The Second Encounter

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I was out of town last week then had to catch up on school work, so I couldn't post the new chapter until today

* * *

The next morning, Shiro had no classes. His aviation classes were on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, while his English classes were on Mondays and Wednesday and his mechanics classes on Mondays and Fridays. His schedule was light that year, as he had filled his weeks to the brim his previous two years in an attempt to distract himself from the past and settle back into some sort of civilian life. Most of his required classes were out of the way, and if not for the fact that his aviation classes required four years to complete, he could have graduated after his third year by adding just two more classes.

With Tuesdays and Wednesdays free, as well as Saturdays and Sundays, Shiro knew he would end up bored quite often. He was used to constant work, constant movement, something for him to do at every moment. The idea of stopping to relax for more than an hour or two was completely foreign to him, something he hadn't done since he picked up athletics in junior high.

It took only ten minutes of pacing through his dorm room, patting his pocket for a phone that wasn't there, and flipping through the books he'd already read four times each before Shiro decided he needed to get out. It was barely 9am, and he still had another five hours before he needed to back to the IT Center. He contemplated going there to see if the Matt from the day before had finished working on his phone early, but decided against it. He wasn't even sure that the boy was the one who would fix it, or even if he was truly a college student. Matt had a nametag, and he'd seemed to know what he was doing, but Shiro wasn't entirely convinced that the young-looking boy was actually a college student. If anything, he had to be freshman, but it seemed more likely that he was just the son of the instructor filling in while everyone else ate lunch.

Shaking the thoughts of the IT Center from his mind, Shiro found himself standing in his exercise room. There wasn't much in there, none of it meant for anything more than a quick work-out between classes. He knew he could only do so much for so long without getting bored of the repetition and lack of challenge, and he had hours to burn. Instead, his best bet would be to go to the gym on campus for students. He didn't like it since there were so many people and he had to work out in a long-sleeved shirt to hide his arm. The heavier clothes always resulted in him getting tired and hot quicker than if he was in his dorm wearing something lighter, but the alternative was completely out of the question.

It took only two minutes for Shiro to change his clothes, throwing on a long-sleeved black shirt with a few of the buttons below the collar undone and some athletic shorts. He tied his shoes quickly, not even thinking as he knotted the laces and pocketed his ID beside an MP3 player. With one last lap around the house, in which he fed Eurus and spot-cleaned her litter box, Shiro was headed for the door. He only stopped at his dresser, where he picked up the black leather gloves he almost never took off. They were meant to cover just his metallic right hand, but wearing one leather glove stood out more than a pair, so he wore them both. The only time he took them off at school was when he was alone in his dorm. They would make exercising a little harder and require washing after, but that was better than baring his hand to the world. Shiro tugged the gloves on and left the room.

-000-

It was a ten minute walk from Shiro's dorm to the campus gym, which was relatively empty. The early morning rush before classes was gone, and only a few others who had either the day, or just the morning free were in the room. Three occupied treadmills and ellipticals, while a fourth and fifth were lifting weights. One person was doing yoga in a corner, and the man at the check-in desk sat in his chair and scrolled around on his phone with bloodshot eyes. Shiro approached that man quietly, but his large form did not go unnoticed. The second his shadow fell over the man at the desk, the phone was down and the sign-in clipboard was out. Shiro held out his ID for the man to take to sign him in, and he tried to smile to lessen the tension. He didn't try to intimidate people, but his large body, scarred face, bulging muscles, and military-esque appearance tended to do it anyway.

The man at the desk handed back Shiro's ID, then watched the aviation student walk away from the desk and toward the weights. Shiro pretended not to notice as he pulled his MP3 player from his pocket and shoved the headphones into his ears, tucking the device back into his pocket after hitting play. An upbeat, fast-paced song began to play as Shiro set up a machine for weighted standing calf raises, and he was already started before the song reached its midpoint.

After a good thirty minutes of his leg workout, Shiro shifted to another machine to do some upper-body work. The cable crossover machine in the gym was rather new in comparison to a lot of the other stuff, and Shiro had the feeling some students were responsible for that. There was always that one person who would set the cable as heavy as they could on just one side then attempt to dangle from it. The issue there was that the pulley got the pressure of the entire weight of the person as well as the weight on the end of the cable, and sometimes the pulley would break. It wasn't too hard to replace, but repeating the same action over and over would eventually lead to requiring a whole new machine.

Shiro was careful to make sure the weight was right on both sides before he started, and ignored the small sparks of pain in his right arm as he worked. He had been warned back in the hospital that strain on his arm could cause pain, especially if his muscles were swelling beneath the metal due to heavy lifting. No damage would be done to his arm if he worked out, but pain was inevitable, and would unfortunately just get worse the longer he exerted himself. For Shiro, it would be quite a while before he had to quit. However, once he did quit, it would take some time before he could use that arm again, at least an hour.

With a few short breaks, Shiro worked on the cable crossover machine for nearly an hour. His back, shoulders, biceps, triceps, and fingers all ached, and his right arm throbbed where skin met metal. Despite that, the workout still felt very refreshing, and Shiro didn't feel like calling it quits quite yet. He moved on to the hand weights, and selected somewhat lighter ones that he clenched in his hands while lunging and squatting. He then picked up an empty bar off the floor and stuck weights just lighter than his preferred ones on each end. Shiro hefted the bar up onto his shoulders, than began to squat again, falling into a smooth rhythm that matched the song he was listening to. When the next one came on a little more upbeat, he increased his pace, then slowed it for the one after that.

Shiro used a couple more machines before his hand swiped his pocket and he remembered that he didn't have his phone. The man scanned the walls for a clock and found one near the check-in desk, which read 1pm. He still had two hours left before he needed to drop in at the IT Center, but he was a bit too tired to continue at the gym for that long. His shirt was making his uncomfortable, the damp material scratching uncomfortably at the scarred skin below it.

A flash of movement outside caught Shiro's gaze, and he looked to the source to find two young women jogging side by side. They moved slowly, talking and laughing as they went, but their exercise wasn't a bad choice. Shiro waited for the pair to pass by completely before he headed for the door, keeping his pace slow so no one would think he was following them. He then waited a moment outside the gym, scrolling through his music until he found a quick one to start off with. Shiro selected it, adjusted his headphones, then took off at a light run.

-000-

Throughout his run, Shiro let his mind wander. The wind on his face reminded him of flying and the freedom it brought him. The memory of the faces of his crew, some of whom he'd lost on the battlefield, others to the traumatic memories back home, ghosted through his mind and hit him with a wave of guilt. He wished he was still there for his people, the young men and women who had served with him and flown with him, listening to him despite the fact that he was younger and less experienced than every single one of them.

The thoughts of the military shifted to Instructor Holt, a veteran with an unknown story. Shiro longed to learn more about the man, despite having just met him the day before. While Shiro himself hated telling his own story, especially the darker bits, he loved hearing about the experiences of others. Most of all he loved to hear about the comradery, something that sometimes wound up being the only thing soldiers had left in the world.

Shiro's mind changed course once again, this time landing on an image of his cat. The thought made Shiro smile a little bit as he thought about the way she purred and pawed at him when he was in a state of anxiety, easing his mind. Shiro knew that she calmed him down better than any fancy therapy animal could, and he loved how she gave him a purpose. She gave him a chance to protect something and make it grow instead of doing things that resulted in loss of life.

After a few more shifts, Shiro mind landed on Matt, the boy from the IT Center. It made him pause in his run, and when he looked around to figure out where he was, he found that he was standing right outside the building the IT Center was in. There was no clock to tell him the time, and after being lost in thought for so long, he had no idea how long he'd been running.

Panting quietly, Shiro stepped into the building and wandered toward the IT Center, stopping inside an empty classroom on his way to check the clock. 2:45pm. He was right on time. Shiro walked down the hall, calming his breathing on his way to the room where he had been the day before. The door was open once again with the sign stating that they were open hanging on it, a reassuring sight.

This time, Shiro did not stop outside the door. Instead he plunged right in, turning the corner and pulling out a headphone as he walked up to the counter. Unlike the day before, there was someone at the counter, though all Shiro could see was the back of a white t-shirt. The owner of the shirt was bent over, digging around under the counter, and Shiro stopped a few steps away to wait. It only took a few moments for the person to straighten, revealing that Matt was back once again. The familiar face sent a wave of calm through Shiro, who was glad that he didn't have to deal with another new face.

"Ah, Shirogane. You back for your phone?" Matt asked, shoving his bangs out of his face. Shiro nodded, suddenly aware that his white tuft of hair was matted to his forehead and he was super sweaty from working out. It had never occurred to him to take a shower before stopping in at the IT center, but he was starting to think it would have been a very good idea.

Matt crossed the room and walked through the doorway in the back. Shiro heard some rustling before the boy returned with a plastic bag containing a phone. The bag was the same one as the day before, with Shiro's name on it, but unlike before, the phone was in one piece.

"When you dropped it one of your wires came out of its socket, so the screen wasn't getting any power. That's why it wouldn't turn on," Matt explained as he opened the bag and pulled out Shiro's phone, keeping his language simple out of consideration for Shiro and the man's lack of technical knowledge.

"Uh, thanks," Shiro said awkwardly, accepting his phone when it was handed back to him. He pressed the power button and watched the screen come to life, thankfully with no missed calls. No angry teenager rampages would happen that day.

Shiro spent another minute fiddling with his phone next to the counter, then realized Matt was still there. The boy was watching him with the strange glint of a cocktail of emotions in his eyes, one of them curiosity, but Shiro could discern nothing else. He wondered if it was his appearance or if the stare was a high school student studying a college student, at least until he noticed a lanyard containing a college ID with the Matt's face hanging around the boy's neck. In that case, it had to be his appearance like always. Thankfully though, unlike many other wide-eyed observers Shiro had encountered, Matt made no comments and asked no questions.

Instead of waiting to leave until he had made sure everything on his phone worked, Shiro decided to make his exit before the silence in the room could be broken and thanked Matt for his work before heading to the door.


	5. Just 'Shiro' is Fine

A/N: This chapter came a little later than expected, but I'm glad to finally be posting it. Sorry for the long, sudden hiatus. I was a lot busier than I thought I would be and ran into a lot of issues. I finally have some extra time, but will get pretty busy again soon. In preparation for that, I will plan chapters to come at 2-4 week intervals depending on how much time I have. Sorry for the confusion, but this is the best way I could find to keep the story going while also getting all my work done. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!

* * *

It was only a week before Shiro ended up back at the IT Center.

He was careful with his phone, keeping it put away when he was going down the stairs and being sure to set it down gently instead of lazily dropping it when he wasn't using it. He even set it a little further back on the small table next to his bed that served as a night stand, taking the extra precaution to assure it wouldn't fall on the floor in case Eurus decided to play with the charging cord while he was sleeping.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that Shiro was focusing all of his thoughts on protecting his phone, he was a bit negligent with his other technology. He was no longer keeping up with the updates on his ancient laptop, and he didn't notice the way his screen would flicker each time he turned it on. It wasn't until the day he really needed it, when Instructor Con assigned the students a video to watch during class, that Shiro's laptop decided to bite the dust.

Shiro pressed the power button on his laptop and watched the screen blink to life. The fans began to whir as buttons lit up, then it all suddenly stopped. Shiro frowned and watched the light next to the power button fade, so he clicked the button again. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing. A few seconds passed before Shiro lightly smacked the side of the device a few times, but there was no sound.

A silent sigh escaped Shiro as he dropped his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his tangled bangs and close-cropped hair. His eyes slipped shut as a wave of stress washed over him, tensing his muscles and making his brain buzz. The video had a list of questions that went along with it, all of them due at the end of the class, but his laptop was the only device that could play it. His phone could play videos, but the file type of the video wasn't compatible with it, so the video wouldn't play on there.

"Are you alright, Shirogane?"

Shiro's head snapped up at the voice in front of him, and his gaze rose to meet that of Instructor Holt. The man wore his usual cheerful smile, and his hands were clasped behind his back, a habit from the military Shiro guessed the man hadn't shaken.

"My laptop just," Shiro began, before dropping his hand on the table with no grandeur to represent the state of his device. "And my phone can't play the video," he added.

Instructor Holt nodded, his smile dimming just slightly as he picked up on what Shiro meant. "It seems you might need to visit the IT Center again," the man recommended. "Go ahead and go. I'll talk to Instructor Con and see about extending the due date for your responses," he said, gesturing to the questions sheet.

Shiro nodded and thanked the man, then got to his feet. He closed his backpack and shouldered it before closing his laptop, picking it up, and heading out of the room. He was aware of all the eyes on him, and he felt his pace quicken involuntarily halfway across the room. He didn't even look in Instructor Con's direction, afraid the man might be irritated by his lack of responsibility on his technology upkeep.

Shiro had always been a model student in his class, but for some reason he'd been lacking in the past week. His third year was off to a rough start in comparison to his previous years, both in terms of technology and his ability to pay attention in class. His things kept breaking and his mind was foggy, making him zone-out during lectures and even once during a flight simulation. He always recovered quickly enough, but he could tell from the small downward quirk of Instructor Con's mouth that the man had noticed.

Shaking the thoughts of his past week from his mind, Shiro made his way out of the building and toward the IT Center. It wasn't very far away, only a ten minute walk, so he would hopefully be able to get his laptop checked in sooner rather than later. If all went well, he wondered if he'd maybe get it back that night.

Unfortunately, Shiro's plans of keeping up with his class were crushed when he reached the IT Center. It was earlier in the day than the last two times he'd gone, and it seemed everyone else on campus with tech problems had decided to go on the same day, at the same time as Shiro. A long line stretched out the door, and Shiro was dead last. He sighed for the fourth time in fifteen minutes as he slowed to a stop behind a girl with at least ten piercings in her face alone. They suited her, but Shiro didn't understand why people would scar themselves intentionally like that. If he could make even just the scar on his nose vanish, he'd do it without hesitating.

As Shiro waited, he observed the rest of the students. Most of them carried fancy new phones and laptops, some with cracked screens or the legendary blue screen of death. A few others had black screened, totally dead lumps of useless metal like Shiro's. The demographic of the students was similar as well, most of the students dressed in a hipster style with gelled and curled hair. It made Shiro feel out of place, or at least more out of place than usual.

The sound of a familiar voice caught Shiro's attention, and he looked up at the counter and saw Matt raising his hand to signal the next person in line. The young man met the approaching woman with a smile, taking the computer that she held out and launching into a simple round of questions about the issue. His hands were careful with the technology, slim fingers nimbly searching for ports and screws as he listened to a description of the problem.

Shiro couldn't hear much from where he stood, but he managed to hear a light chuckle escape the boy, and it made his lips twitch into a smile. He suddenly found himself wishing that it was him up at the counter, talking to Matt and making him laugh. He wanted that bright smile to be turned in his direction.

' _Shiro no, what are you even thinking about you barely know this guy. Just because he was nice to you doesn't mean he's your friend or anything, it is literally his JOB to be nice to people,'_ Shiro thought, mentally slapping himself. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking for a friend on campus, given the closest thing he had to one was his cat. Eurus was great, but she wasn't a human who could walk around campus with him and talk with him. One-sided conversations got awkward, and if anyone ever heard him talking to his cat, he'd definitely go from just 'scar-face' to both that and 'the crazy-cat-dude'.

The line inched forward bit by bit, and Shiro slowly moved into the room. With each stressed college student who passed him on their way out, he got closer to the counter. He was able to see that the counter was also manned by an older man with salt and pepper hair and small glasses, as well as a curly-haired Latina with a cheerful smile that seemed infectious, kind of like Matt's. The two, as well as Matt, were working quickly to get through the line, jotting down notes on notepads and writing names on plastic baggies. Laptops, phones, and even a small television filled the shelves behind the counter, which were already loaded with tech. It made Shiro wonder how the people running the place would even be able to fix it all, which led to the man dreading how long it might take for his laptop to be fixed.

Luckily for Shiro, when he reached the front of the line, Matt was finishing up with his customer. The boy took a dead-screened phone from a kind-looking black woman with wavy white hair and gentle eyes that made Shiro's chest tingle. She was quite beautiful. The woman turned and left, catching Shiro's gaze as she did so. Unlike most people, who looked away cringed, she gave him a friendly smile before going on her way. It made the aviation student's heart a little warmer.

"Back for round two?" Matt asked as he waved Shiro over. Shiro shook his head and smiled weakly.

"This time it's the laptop. It started to turn on, but then everything suddenly stopped and it shut off. Now I can't even get it to start," he explained. Matt nodded, taking the laptop and opening it up. He pressed the power button, then leaned in to listen for the fans.

"Is there any chance the battery ran out?"

"I charge it every night, and the charger hasn't failed me since I got it."

Matt scribbled something on a notepad, then stuck it on the laptop. He then wrote Shiro's name on the top of a second one before looking up at the man.

"Can I have a contact number? It's hard to tell how long the fix will take, especially since we have quite the pile over there," the boy said, gesturing with his head toward the shelves behind him. Shiro nodded and recited his cell phone number. "And would you prefer the notification for pick up to be by call or text?" Matt asked. Shiro paused to contemplate.

"Uh, text please," he decided. That would be the best option in case the notification came while he was in class. Plus, the ringer on his phone didn't always work and he didn't want to miss the call.

"Okay. We'll let you know when your laptop is ready," Matt said, picking up the device after sticking the second note on it. He turned to drop the things off on the shelf, but Shiro stopped him.

"Before I go, I have an a video to watch for an assignment, but I can't play it on my phone. Is there anywhere I can rent a computer or something?" Shiro asked. Matt turned back and nodded.

"Downstairs through the second door on the left from the main entrance is a computer lab. It's open to anyone unless a professor reserves it, but that one is a bit older and usually doesn't see much use. I recommend going there. All you have to do is sign in to the computer using your student login, then you can do whatever homework you need," he explained, attempting to gesture with his hands but failing due to the burden he was carrying.

"Okay, thanks. Uh, good luck with all the, uh," Shiro stopped, motioning to the shelves. Matt let out an amused chuckle.

"Thank you. See you later, Mr. Shirogane," the boy said.

"Just, uh, Shiro is fine," Shiro said before he could stop himself. His face felt a little warm at the slip, but he tried his best to ignore it. Matt smiled, a warm smile that was a little different than the bright and polite one he usually wore.

"See you, Shiro."

Shiro walked out of the room barely containing a small grin. His mind replayed the chuckle he'd heard, the one that resulted from him and his words, and it made him smile a little wider. Maybe he could try to be friends with Matt after all.


	6. A Slow Day

A/N: Hey guys! I know it has been a long time since my last update, but like I said, updates could take anywhere from two-four weeks due to my schedule. (A little explanation here -) I'm a high school and college student, and I work part-time, so I'm extremely busy. I'm currently in the middle of exams at my high school and the first week of the spring semester at my college, so I'm extremely short on time. I realize this chapter is short, but I wrote it shortly after publishing the last one to have it done in advance so I could post it this month while still having time for all of the work I need to do. So I'm sorry about the slow, short updates, but I promise I'm not losing motivation. I plan to continue writing this story until it is finished, it's just a bit difficult to get done. Thank you to everyone who continues to follow the story and read the chapters. It really means a lot to me, and despite how short and slow this chapter is (as the title suggests, it is a bit of a filler/transition chapter) I hope you like it :)

* * *

Over the next few days, Shiro's life went a bit smoother. The fog in his mind had mysteriously lifted, leaving his brain sharp and his reflexes even sharper. It was good timing too, because they were starting to work with the actual planes that week. However, there were no lone flights yet. Those would start after everyone did a flight with an instructor and showed that they hadn't gotten rusty over the summer break. Instead, they were doing refreshers over controls and basic maintenance.

The end of classwork for the time being was a lucky break for Shiro, since he didn't have his laptop. That didn't do him much good in his other classes, but it was his flight classes that he wanted to be most impressive in. Those took priority.

"On Monday we start flights. For now, finish assembling your kits, then you are dismissed," Instructor Con announced. It was the end of the Friday class, meaning the students had their weekend ahead of them, and most of them didn't want to stay a minute longer. However, half of them were struggling with their engine kits, and wouldn't finish for at least another half hour. The other half were in various stages of completion. Among them was Shiro, who was just finishing with a few screws. His eyes caught movement to his left, and he looked up to see Instructor Holt approaching.

"You sure know what you're doing. Are you a mechanics minor?" the older man asked. Shiro nodded.

"You never know when you'll have to fix something yourself, so I thought mechanics might be a good minor. I also like fixing things, even though I'm not very good at it. With enough practice, assembly gets pretty easy, though. It's kind of the same with a lot of smaller engines," he explained. A small smile crept across his face as he spoke, unable to control the little jolt of happiness that went through him as he finished. Mechanics wasn't his strong suit, but being able to fix things was pretty important for just about anyone. It was especially important since his tech seemed to want to break every day, and pretty soon he would run out of money and not be able to afford the IT center. Their prices were actually pretty good, but Shiro was living on pensions, and they only stretched so far between him and his brother back home.

"I see. My son does a lot of fixing things too, and he's pretty good at it. Maybe he can give you a few pointers," Instructor Holt offered with a chuckle. Shiro nodded. It would be nice to get some outside help, since the people in his classes weren't very open to talking to him, let alone working with him.

Instructor Holt stood around for a few more moments as Shiro finished up his project, then the man turned and moved on to another student nearby, who was putting her last piece on her engine. Shiro watched him go as he wiped his hands on a rag and cleaned up, then he took his engine into the storage room and left the class.

Shiro's mechanics class was in a building a good twenty minutes away, and his class started in half an hour. It left him with little time for food, so he stopped at a vending machine on his way and bought Gatorade and a few granola bars.

When Shiro reached his class, he dropped his bag under a metal table in the corner and picked up a pair of safety glasses from a bin near the door. They were one of the larger pairs, and fortunately fit his face perfectly. A few times he'd shown up late and been stuck with a pair of glasses that barely squeezed onto his face and left welts on the sides of his head for a whole day. Of course, no one bothered to trade with him, not even someone with a smaller face who had glasses that were just a smidge too big. They found him weird, creepy, broody, and ugly. A few students had even said he looked like an old man with his grey and white hair when they thought he was out of earshot. Fortunately he wasn't outright bullied, but he guessed the only reason for that was his scars and his build, which tended to intimidate most people.

"Okay everyone, today we'll be working on…" The professor began to explain the lesson, and Shiro focused all his attention on listening. He hung on to every word, searching for tips on how to get better and what not to do. When the professor pulled a broken, rusty Harley-Davidson motorcycle from the junk lot outside, a small smile curved his lips. If Keith was there, the boy would have lost it. Shiro's brother loved motorcycles, and seeing one in such poor condition would surely send him stomping and yelling about lazy people and disrespect for such a beautiful invention.

The task for the day was for the class to identify as many issues with the bike as possibly without taking it apart or touching it too much, since it was a bit frail. Whoever came up with the most would get extra credit, then each student would be assigned a part to fix. They would all repair the bike as a group effort, and be graded on their specific pieces. That would let the professor know who needed more practice and who could move on to fixing larger vehicles.

Shiro searched the bike over and over, thinking about all the things Keith always talked about and all the things he had learned in his classes so far. He knew the bike had a lot wrong with it, so when his list stopped at five problems, he didn't hesitate to look again.

In the end, Shiro came up with eleven issues. The winner of the extra credit found fourteen issues, but Shiro wasn't upset about not finding everything. Sure he wasn't great, but he was doing better than his previous year, and that was something. He kept that in mind as he was assigned his part, and worked on it quickly but carefully. By the time class ended that day, he knew he at least had a chance of passing the repair test.

On his way back to his dorm, Shiro got a text from the IT Center. It stated that his laptop was ready for pick up, and the hours of the center were attached to it. Most days they were open from 9am-9pm, but Saturdays and Sundays they were closed, and they closed at 5pm on Fridays. It was 5:20pm.

With a sigh, Shiro set a notification on his phone to pick up his laptop Monday morning.


	7. Close Encounter

A/N: This chapter has more focus on Shiro and his insecurity over his arm. I understand there is has been little interaction between Matt and Shiro so far, but this will definitely be a slow-moving relationship. In this story, Shiro and Matt are both meant to be people with a little bit of history. I didn't want them to have some instant head-over-heels moment as soon as they meet or a few days after they first meet. This isn't just some love story, rather it is more like a story about growth in which the relationship between Matt and Shiro will play a fairly large role. That being said, I am making sure Matt and Shiro do continue to have interactions, because while the story is about Shiro, Matt is also very important and will be incorporated more as he and Shiro get to know each other better. I hope you all understand.

As a side note, I wanted to thank you guys for understanding my reasons for slow updates and for sticking with the story. I just keep getting busier, and while my updates have fallen to a monthly output, they will not stop. I will continue writing, and do not plan to make my updates any less frequent than they currently are. I really do hope you guys like the story, and if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment. I will do my best to answer them as long as it won't result in spoilers for later parts of the story.

* * *

Saturday morning, Shiro went for a run again. He got up early at 6am and took to the sidewalk. With his headphones in and workout clothes on, he was off. He had worn a long-sleeve shirt like usual, but had left his black leather gloves on his dresser. It was early, so not many people would be out. It also didn't get very bright until about 7:30am, so no one would notice his grotesque right hand unless they got close and took a long look.

Beneath Shiro's feet, the sidewalk was solid and assuring. He'd woken up after another bad dream, one he couldn't quite comprehend. It felt hot, like he was on fire, but he felt no pain. All there had been was an uncomfortable tingle. His vision had been a blurry mess of red and black, flashes of light exploding in the distance. His hearing was muffled to the point that he could barely tell one sound from another. He thought he'd heard shouting and screaming, but he wasn't quite sure. It was dreams like those that he hated the most.

The crystal clear nightmares that often struck him made him jolt upright in bed, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it would burst, while the vague dreams left him confused. Sometimes he could fall asleep again after a nightmare if he laid down long enough, and other times he just closed his eyes and tried to think about something else while staying put. On the other hand, he couldn't stay in bed after a vague dream. They left him feeling disoriented and detached from his body, as if he had woken from one dream only to be inside of another. Nothing seemed to be able to ground him after one of those, not even the pain from digging his nails into the flesh of his palms and forearms, a method he used to ground himself during his more severe panic attacks. It was for that reason that he'd decided to go for a run in the first place, since the rhythm and solid ground under his feet helped to slowly pull his mind back into his body.

As time passed, Shiro was relieved to feel the fuzziness in his mind disappearing. He let out a sigh of relief when he took a short water break an hour in, finally able to think. When he started jogging again, he let his thoughts wander. It was a habit of his, letting himself go. He could jog for hours while just letting his thoughts drift, and he'd only notice his sore muscles and heaving lungs when he came to his senses at the end of it. The drifting during his runs also covered him in a blanket of calm, as his mind tended to go to the memories of flying, the few memories of skydiving, and the years before of standing on the open plane of a runway, feeling the wind slide through his bangs and tickle his scalp. The feeling of wind as he ran wasn't nearly as strong as in the skydiving memories or as serene as standing on a runway, but it was enough to at least call the wisps of the memories to the surface of his mind. Those memories were the things he loved in a world that seemed to hate him.

As the sun rose above the horizon and the world began to be illuminated, Shiro turned in the direction of his dorm. He was going a bit slower than before, doing the end of his run as a cooldown, but had to change course a few time to avoid the other students who slowly began to fill the sidewalks. When he saw someone coming on his sidewalk, he'd veer off onto another and move back on course after he passed them. By the time he reached his building, morning classes were starting, and the students were leaving their dorms and heading off with coffee cups and energy drinks in hand.

Shiro narrowly avoided running into one of the guys who lived next door when he passed the guy's door just as he was leaving his room. Shiro called out a quiet apology and pretended to scratch his left shoulder with his right hand as he stuck his key in his lock with his left hand, hoping his neighbor wouldn't look back and see his exposed right hand.

When he entered his dorm, Shiro quickly pulled the door shut behind himself to separate himself from the world. He slumped against the door and let out the breath he'd been holding since he came upon his building and found the outside crawling with students. His right hand twitched at his side and he clenched it into a fist, conscious of the fact that anyone could have seen it. A look at his phone revealed that it was 8:30am, half an hour later than he'd planned to be out. He cursed himself for not paying better attention to the time, especially when he wasn't wearing his gloves.

Needing to calm down a little after the close encounter with his neighbor, Shiro looked for Eurus. The cat was asleep in the middle of his unmade bed, and she yawned and looked up when Shiro called her. Shiro smiled and scratched her chin, then ran his hand over the silky fur around her ears to flatten what stuck up from her nap.

Eurus purred and leaned into Shiro's hand, then turned her head to sniff him. She quickly recoiled and gave Shiro an annoyed look that made him smile.

"I guess I should probably take a shower," he said, catching the hint. Eurus proceeded to lay her head back down on the bed and close her eyes, a clear end to the conversation that made Shiro shake his head and smirk.

 _'_ _Wow Shiro, no wonder no one likes you. Even your cat just rejected you,'_ he thought to himself. It was a lighthearted joke to himself, because he knew that Eurus did in fact like him, she just did not enjoy his presence when he was smelly and drenched in sweat from a run. However, the more he thought about it, the more it was true a thought to seem very funny.

A cold feeling blossomed in Shiro's chest and the smile slipped from his face as he dug around his dresser for some fresh clothes. He balled the clothes up in his hands and headed for the bathroom, giving Eurus a small smile when he noticed that she was watching him, perceptive of his emotions as always.

Shiro showered quickly, a habit he'd made in the military and never quite kicked. He scrubbed his hair and washed up in just three minutes, then emerged from the bathroom two minutes later with his poof of white hair combed and fresh clothes on; his dirty ones were left in a hamper in the corner of his room.

Shiro stood next to his dresser and glanced at his phone as he used a hand towel to carefully wipe away extra water from his right arm. The metal wouldn't rust even if he didn't; it would have to be submerged in water for weeks straight for that to happen at all, but the better he took care of it, the less he'd have to worry about pieces being compromised and needing replacements. His arm was already an experimental mix of flesh and a metal prosthetic, something that had been done in an attempt to allow him to keep full function of his right arm instead of losing what remained and getting a prosthetic that he wouldn't be able to move like a flesh limb. It made Shiro's life easier, since he could do all of the things he had always done with his right hand, but the mix of skin and metal stood out more than a prosthetic and he was very conscious of it. In the past, he never would have thought he'd have any insecurities past wondering if his flying skills were good enough for his rank. He never would have guessed that he would be wearing long sleeves and leather gloves every day to hide an entire limb from sight.

Shiro dropped his hand towel on his dresser when he finished drying his arm, then, still uneasy from the events of his early morning, pulled on a long-sleeved shirt and his familiar leather gloves to cover his arm.

Lacking anything productive to do over his weekend, Shiro flopped face-down on his bed and pulled out his phone. He had downloaded a movie a few days earlier but never had the time to watch it due to his classes. Since he finally had a day to kill, he pulled it up, turning up his volume loud enough to hear the audio clearly. He would have preferred to watch the movie on a bigger screen, but his laptop was a no go, so his phone would have to do.

A few minutes into the movie, Shiro felt a weight on his back between his shoulder blades and turned around to see Eurus standing on him. She kneaded the spot with her paws for a moment before laying down and licking her shoulder contentedly. Shiro smiled at the sight before turning back to his movie.

-000-

After two and a half hours of bad jokes, zombies, and dramatic reunions, the credits rolled on the screen of Shiro's phone. He closed the tab and returned to his home screen, which was a random picture of a sleek jet. The sight always set a pang of longing through him as he remembered his own jet, but he couldn't quite bring himself to change it. Other than the memories of his team and flying, the only important things he had in the world were Eurus and Keith, but his brother hated pictures. The only way Shiro had managed to get any was by sneaking them, and they tended to end up blurry. One of the few good ones he had was his lock screen, a picture of Keith asleep on the couch back home, cuddled up with Eurus. It always made Shiro smile, even on his worst days, though he had to switch the picture at home in case Keith picked up his phone because he knew the boy would delete it.

Checking his messages, Shiro found none from Keith. His brother had called him every few nights and sent a few texts during the day since Shiro left for college, but for the most part he was busy with school and work. Keith was in his senior year of high school and bused tables at a local family restaurant. In Shiro's absence he was looked after by his friend Lance McClain, a barista at the coffee shop next to the restaurant who Keith claimed to hate despite them being friends. However, Shiro had seen them in the time when they weren't arguing over something stupid like who could clean dishes the fastest, and he knew there was no true hate between them. The two were closer than Shiro had ever been with anyone, and Lance was a good guy. If not for the fact that Keith was too dense to recognize any emotions but anger and annoyance from others, and the fact that Lance had crushing insecurities that made him think he wasn't good enough for anyone, the two would be totally inseparable.

With a deep breath, Shiro pushed himself upright to sit on his bed, and Eurus jumped off his back as he started to rise to avoid falling. She let out an annoyed meow and Shiro reached out to pet her apologetically before checking the time. It was almost noon and he'd hadn't had breakfast, but he didn't feel comfortable about leaving his room again yet. However, he didn't have a microwave or any pans for cooking on the stove in his dorm, let alone anything to cook. The minifridge in the kitchen was empty except for an untouched bottle of whiskey and some bottled water, and his cupboard contained nothing but a box of granola bars. Shiro cringed when he spotted the whiskey in the refrigerator, and he shut the door quickly. He wasn't much of an alcohol person, but sometimes he needed it when he was a little to stressed or when the nightmares wouldn't let him sleep without some help.

Knowing that actual food wouldn't appear on the counter no matter how long he stared at it, Shiro returned to his bedroom for his ID and phone. He stopped in the other room to feed Eurus and glanced at his hands and rubbed his fingers together to assure himself through visual, audio, and somatosensory confirmation that he really was wearing his gloves, then headed out to get food from the cafeteria.


	8. Chance Meeting

A/N: Hey guys I'm back with another chapter! This one is longer than my typical updates, which always seem to be about 2000 words, but you guys deserve it. Unfortunately the wave of work I have been stuck with has only grown and not at all subsided, but I was able to write a bit during a few hours of free time and have found time to upload. I decided I should update in honor of s5, because is was great (*KIND OF SPOILER ALERT I THINK* I do hope to write a one-shot about Keith's mom leaving him years ago if I have the time and if anyone is interested). Anyway I hope you guys enjoy the update and look forward to more of Life is a Flight :)

* * *

The day was hotter than most days in the fall typically were, and Shiro found himself wishing he could wear a short-sleeved shirt and take off his gloves. Anxiety of what could happen if anyone saw his arm kept him from doing so, especially after the close call he'd had that morning, but there were some days when it was just too hot for him to not at least think about it. It didn't help that the bright rays from the sun were blinding to Shiro after having spent two and a half hours watching a movie in a darkened room, and he didn't have any sunglasses. He just hoped that the weather would change soon, possibly clouding the sun over a bit and cooling the temperature to something a little more bearable.

Squinting his eyes against the light, Shiro dropped his gaze to the pavement and continued walking, using his memory to take the right path to the cafeteria. A few times he almost bumped into people, but he kept his head down and kept going. It wasn't until the building came into sight that he actually did run into someone, or more accurately, the two ran into each other.

"Oh, ah, sorry."

Two voices muttered the same phrase, and Shiro's gaze leaped from the sidewalk to a familiar face. Matt stood in front of him, one of his hands hovering over the phone he held as he tried to see the screen in the bright mid-day sunlight. His eyes met Shiro's and he smiled, dropping his arm to his side and slipping the phone into his pocket.

"Hey, Shiro. I was just heading to the cafeteria. Sorry about that," the boy said, tilting his head back to look Shiro in the eyes with a polite smile. However, he was squinting, and he lowered his gaze after just a moment as the sun blazed unforgivingly in his eyes.

Noticing Matt's struggle, Shiro discreetly shifted to the side a little to block the sun from the young man's direct line of vision as he did his best to school his features and return his expression to something more neutral, relaxing his tense posture a bit and attempting a smile in return.

"Oh, uh, so am I," he stated lamely, not sure exactly what to say.

In the IT Center, Shiro didn't need to talk much. He only had to ask and answer questions, then he could listen to Matt explain what was wrong with the device, how it's fixed, and a bunch of other stuff he didn't understand. Shiro had no idea what he was supposed to talk about outside the IT center though, and wasn't sure if bringing up the place and asking about all the problems people were having was an interesting conversational topic or not.

"Do you want to eat with me then? I usually go with other people from the Center, but none of them are there today because it's the weekend," Matt offered.

"Sure." Shiro replied awkwardly after a moment, his brain slowly attempting to process the fact that someone was actually offering to casually hang around him, something he hadn't experienced since he was in the military.

The pair resumed walking, this time side by side. Matt didn't pull out the phone again, but he also didn't speak. Shiro was silent as well, still unsure of what to talk about, or even if they should talk.

"So, why are you at the IT Center today? Aren't you guys closed?" Shiro asked after a moment, deciding to take a chance with a question. Matt rubbed his neck a bit sheepishly.

"Yeah. We close on weekends because there are only about five students who work at the Center along with the professor, and it assures that we all get some time off to do what we want or need to do. I don't have much stuff to do though, and since we're pretty busy right now I'm trying to fix as much stuff as I can in case we get more during the week. People will lose faith in us if we take two weeks to fix their tech," he explained. Shiro frowned.

"Why don't you go out with friends or something?" he asked. Matt shook his head.

"All the IT Center people are out with their other friends, so I don't have anyone to hang out with right now. I kind of prefer working with the tech all day, though," he said. Shiro nodded.

The two fell into a relatively comfortable silence, their gazes ahead as they entered the cafeteria building. They worked their way through the clusters of students until they reached the line, where they each picked up a meal. They then emerged from the line and scanned the rows of tables and booths in search of an empty one. Shiro spotted one in the back corner and nudged Matt's arm before gesturing with his head. The two walked quickly across the room, skirting the occupied tables and the bags that littered the floor until they reached the empty booth. They claimed the table with their trays and slid into the seats across from each other, then dug into their hamburgers.

"This phone is making me hate life more than your average student," Matt said a few minutes into his meal when an obnoxious ringtone suddenly blared from his pocket. He pulled a sleek white iPhone from his pocket and set it on the table, poking at the screen until it quieted. Fortunately, the room was very loud, so no one seemed to have noticed.

"Is it yours?" Shiro asked, crumpling up the wrapper of the burger he'd just finished. Matt shook his head.

"Someone brought it in because the ringtone keeps going off at full volume at random, and it was interrupting their sleep and classes. Technically I'm not supposed to take repairs out of the IT Center, but Professor Rift wants this thing gone. He said I could even take it home with me to work on as long as I can take care of it sooner rather than later. Thing is though, I couldn't even fix it with a factory reset," he explained, furrowing his brow and tapping at the screen a few times again. "Nothing's wrong with the hardware, so it has to be the software, but the reset should have fixed that. I don't know what's going on," he added. Shiro nodded.

"Can the professor fix it?" he asked. Matt shook his head again and sighed.

"He doesn't want to hear this thing go off any more than he has to. If he knew how to fix it, if _any_ of us knew how to fix it, then I wouldn't be sitting here doing the same thing over and over in hopes that it will actually work," he pointed out. "My younger sister is trying to figure it out at home. She likes building and fixing stuff too, and she's probably going to be better than me in a few years. I'm sure we can take care of this soon," he said. "I hope," he tagged on quietly to himself.

Shiro watched Matt as the boy tapped away at the phone, his fingers flying across the screen. It was hypnotizing in a way, the motions seemingly repetitive when in reality he was doing something just a little different each time. Shiro didn't know he was staring until Matt's hand stopped and the boy called his name once, then twice, then again, finally gaining Shiro's attention and a startled twitch.

"You alright?" Matt asked, his head tilted to the side just slightly as his eyebrows furrowed ever so little in concern.

Shiro scrubbed his face with a gloved hand, half to bring himself back to reality and half to hide the slight color of embarrassment on his face.

"Just tired," he responded, not entirely lying. He hadn't exactly slept much the night before, and as a person who suffered from frequent nightmares on top of being a college student, sleep wasn't exactly something he got a lot of on a regular basis.

"Ah. I can relate," Matt said with a small smile, giving up on the phone and sliding it back into his pocket. He then picked up his burger again and began to nibble at it, not quite hungry but knowing he needed the food because he hadn't eaten yet that day.

The two lapsed into silence again and finished their food. When Shiro finished first, he found himself picking at his gloves while he waited for Matt get done. He noticed the young man staring at one point, but Matt never questioned him, which both relieved and disappointed Shiro. He hated when people asked him questions, such as why he never wore short sleeves, why he always wore gloves, where did he get the scar on his face, and if he dyed his hair. Despite that, part of him wanted Matt to ask. Part of him wanted to spill the details of his life to someone. Talking to others was nice sometimes, but the only people he was close enough to get personal with were Keith and Eurus, who wasn't even a person, but a cat. Shiro could only wonder what it was about Matt that made him want to divulge secrets he'd carefully kept for years. Perhaps his kind nature and innocence? Or was it the fact that someone other than Shiro's brother or his brother's friends was being genuinely nice to him for the first time in years, and he was desperate to have a shoulder to lean on during his bad days rather than laying in his bed in the dark or drinking himself unconscious? It was hard to tell. On the other hand however, what would he do if Matt didn't respond well? What if he lost the closest thing he's had to a friend in his college career because Matt didn't want anything to do with him? The tech student seemed to not mind Shiro's appearance at all, but what if Shiro's story turned him away? The thought made Shiro tense, a flower of cold dread blossoming in his chest. That single possibility alone was enough to completely quell his urge to open up at all.

Once Matt finished, the two vacated their table for other students to use and left the cafeteria. They walked together until they neared the IT Center, where Shiro stopped.

"I guess I'll go back to my dorm. Good luck with the phone," Shiro said. Matt nodded.

"Thank you. Oh, by the way, how's your computer working? Professor Rift fixed it. He said it was hard because it was a little old, but it should work okay now," Matt explained.

"Actually, I never got it back. I got the notification last night after you guys were already closed," Shiro recalled. Matt sighed.

"That system is so slow; I need to make a new one. Do you want to pick up your laptop right now? Professor Rift won't care as long as you don't touch any of the tools or tech," he offered.

Shiro's eyes widened a fraction in surprise, and his brain took a moment to process the offer.

"Oh, uh… sure, I guess," he stuttered awkwardly, causing him to mentally slap himself. He wasn't usually so unsure of what to say or do, but Matt was far different in conversation than the temporary partners Shiro had dealt with for class projects. He was much more willing to talk and far more likely to catch Shiro off-guard with unexpected words and kindness. Matt was also a chance at making an actual friend in a world that rejected Shiro for his appearance and mind because they weren't normal enough, and he was afraid he'd mess that up. At least Shiro wouldn't have to worry about Matt turning his back on him over discomfort with the older man's insecurities if he was already chased off by Shiro's inability to hold a decent conversation.

Shiro had never had problems with socializing back in high school, during the time when he'd been popular and sporty with loads of friends who only ever talked about the same three things. Even in the military there had been so much required of him in conversation that he never had to think of something to say. It had been straightforward, simple. Immediately after his discharge, he'd worked to be the same social guy as in high school, but the rejection and isolation he faced due to his differences quickly sank in and he found himself being closed off from the world. His social skills had gone rusty after years of disuse, and he was suddenly in need of gears that wouldn't turn.

Matt smiled and led the way without another word, and Shiro followed him into the building and up an unfamiliar staircase until they reached an unmarked white door. Matt stuck a key in the lock, twisted, and opened it up to reveal a room full of tools, equipment, and lots of tech. Laptops, cell phones, TVs, tablets, everything. It was all a bit stunning, and Shiro found himself stopping to take a look at everything in the room.

"Like I said, we've been busy," Matt said, gesturing to all of the tech on his way to a desk in the corner. He took the phone out and left it there, then moved to the shelves and started digging around. He muttered names under his breath before pausing and humming a sound of success. "Here we go." He reached into a stack and pulled out a blocky old laptop, carrying it to Shiro and handing it over. "Go ahead and try it out, then if it doesn't work right you won't have to walk all the way back here from your dorm," he recommended.

Shiro nodded and opened the laptop, balancing it on one arm and hitting the power button with his free hand. He waited as the device slowly powered up, the screen lighting up and the fans whirring to life until his home screen appeared. He opened a few programs to make sure everything worked like it should, and found that the laptop was actually working better than he expected. It hadn't run that smoothly since he first got it.

"Is it working okay?" Matt asked. Shiro nodded.

"Yeah, it works great. Thanks for letting me come in and get it today," the man said, the relief in his voice evident. He had been dreading the scramble to get his laptop on Monday, knowing he would have had to wait in a long line during his precious few hours of free time. Now, the only issue he had left was the payment. "So what's the fee?"

"The bill will get delivered to your dorm at the end of the week, and you can pay at the Administration Office. It used to be that students paid here, but during the spring semester last year a student working at the first aid center was found embezzling, so transactions can't be done through student-run groups on campus anymore," Matt explained, frowning as he spoke. He fiddled with a tablet he had picked off a shelf while Shiro was testing his laptop, and his fingers jabbed at the screen just a little too roughly when he mentioned the scandal from the previous semester.

Shiro tensed at the slight tone of anger he detected in Matt's voice despite the fact that it wasn't aimed at him at all. That was the first negative emotion he had seen Matt express in the week that he'd known him, and it was a bit unnerving.

As if sensing Shiro's unease, Matt's hand stopped as the boy looked up at Shiro. Matt studied him for a moment, then a gentle smile pulled at his lips. "Anyway, if there are any problems with your bill, you can drop by here and Professor Rift can take a look at it. Your computer didn't need any new parts, so it shouldn't be too expensive," he said. As he spoke, Matt moved the tablet aside on his desk and picked a slim laptop off the shelf to work on.

Every shred of the negativity that had furrowed Matt's brows and hardened his voice just moments ago had disappeared in an instant, and with it went Shiro's discomfort. The tension in the aviation student's muscles was washed away in a wave of calm, leaving Shiro feeling relaxed. It seemed there really was something about Matt that made Shiro feel so oddly comfortable in his presence, and it made Shiro curious. He wanted to know more about the boy, but at the same time, the clock on the wall was telling him he needed to go back to his dorm and feed Eurus.

"Alright. I'll let you get back to your work, then, " Shiro offered with a small smile as he folded up his laptop and tucked it under his good arm. He got a friendly smile and a wave from Matt before he headed for the door.

Shiro only made it a few steps before a sudden wave of courage hit him, fueling a reckless thought in the back of his mind. Before he could stop himself, he spun around and found himself meeting Matt's gaze. The boy looked at him with curious eyes, his hands hovering over a mess of wires inside the disassembled laptop on his desk.

"Do you want to hang out sometime? Like, when I don't have a device that I need someone from here to fix?" he asked, his tone a bit flat like he was possessed. He may as well have been, because he couldn't think of any other reason why he was able to be so upfront.

Matt surprised Shiro by laughing. It was a quiet, giggle-like laugh that pulled his lips into a smile and crinkled the skin around his golden brown eyes.

"I don't see why not," he said, the smile on his face not the least bit forced. He held out his hand. "Let me see your phone for a minute."

Shiro stepped forward and pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to Matt. He didn't understand why he boy was laughing, or why he wanted his phone, but he decided to just go with it because he didn't have a clue of what to do next.

Matt tapped around on Shiro's phone for a minute before turning it off and handing it back. Shiro accepted it and smiled a bit awkwardly, shoving the phone into his pocket and backing away.

"I guess I'll see you later, then," he said, then turned and left before he could burst into flames and burn in the raging inferno of his own social awkwardness.

As Shiro exited the building that held the IT Center, he took out his phone and turned it on. He opened up a few apps in search of what Matt had done, but couldn't find anything. There were no new updates, nothing had been installed, and no recent apps appeared when he tapped the corner of his screen. Frowning, he pulled up his contacts to text Keith and ask how the boy was doing in school. It was then that he noticed a second contact on the almost-empty page. It was labeled Matt, but unlike Keith's contact, there was no photo. It struck Shiro that Matt had taken his phone _to put his number in it_. Exchanging contact information hadn't crossed Shiro's mind once, not even after asking if Matt wanted to hang out sometime.

Shiro smacked himself in the temple and exited his contacts, fumbling for the power button with fingers that had sudden gotten shaky from a burst of excitement. He clicked the button once, then twice, and his lock screen showed up. It occurred to him that he had no password, so anyone who got a hold of his phone could get into it. He hadn't cared before, since his only personal information was Keith's contact. However, he wasn't so sure about just leaving his phone open to the world anymore. Keith would never answer a text or pick up a call if he didn't recognize the number, but Shiro didn't know about Matt. In his head, Shiro made a note to put a password on his phone later that day.

Somehow, Shiro wasn't surprised that night when he found that he couldn't sleep at all from the tingle of excitement in his veins. After two lonely years he had finally made his first friend in college, and it was a kind, beautiful, smart guy from the IT Center.


	9. Hammer of Courage and Pain

A/N: Hey guys! I actually managed to get a few more chapters written over spring break. I didn't get loads done, because a lot of my time I spent getting dragged around with family, but i got about 4 more chapters written. I'll see about posting another in about two weeks since I'm ahead, and next month I may be able to jump down to two week intervals for posting instead of monthly ones because my college semester ends in the beginning of May. Thank you to everyone who had stuck with the story so far, I'm really glad to have you guys. Your kudos and comments have been very motivating, and I plan to keep writing even when I don't have much time.

WARNING: There is a rather minor head injury in this chapter, and while it may seem a bit silly to some that I'm putting out a warning, I am aware that sometimes that's all it takes. For anyone who may be negatively affected by any descriptions of blood or head wounds even if it is short and minor, or anyone who simply would like to skip those descriptions, these are the places to look out for:

-When the person messing around with tools picks up a hammer, skip from that spot to 7 paragraphs later.

-When Shiro arrives at his dorm, skip to the next paragraph

Those spaces will allow any of you to skip over and mentions of blood completely

*These spaces also allow any of you to skip over a minor flashback episode. I know I haven't really warned about those, but I feel I should start doing that. If anyone has any concerns about parts of earlier chapters that I should post warnings about, feel free to leave a comment and I will edit the notes of the chapter to include a warning. This also goes for any tags that really should be added. I haven't really added many because I don't want an extremely long, messy section of tags, but I'm open to adding warning tags if necessary.

* * *

Matt and Shiro didn't see each other for a week after their run-in at the cafeteria. The two were busy with classes, homework, and in Matt's case, the IT Center. There wasn't much communication at all between them, since only Matt had given his number to Shiro and not vice versa, and Shiro couldn't quite build up the courage to send a text. Anxiety deep within his gut told him that something would happen and Matt wouldn't be the person on the other end. It told him Matt might've mistyped while entering his number, or that his sister was playing on his phone and would be the one holding it when the message went through. The fear made Shiro wait days to text Matt, not even daring to open the contact until Friday, when his mechanics class went horribly sour.

The professor had assigned a workshop during which the students would split into groups and each group would receive a large, scrambled toolbox which they were to organize in a way that would make it easier for them to find the tools they needed. The test was supposedly an introduction into the next unit, where students would start working on broken-down cars that were donated to the university over time. The cars were reused every year, as the professors of the mechanics classes would scramble the parts of the vehicles and purposely create problems with them, then task their students with fixing them.

The organization of the toolboxes wasn't exactly a proper lesson, despite what the professors all tried to prove. It was no secret that the toolboxes for car repairs would always end up in a mess at the end of each semester, and all the students knew that the professors would rather jump off the tallest building on campus than spend their time organizing them. To avoid that, the professors would make the organization into an 'assignment' and claim that the students needed to organize the toolboxes specific to them and their preferred set-ups so they could work more efficiently. That wasn't entirely false, but the impact was played up quite steeply.

Regardless of how bullshit everyone knew the assignment was, they did it anyway, as it was an easy A that many would desperately need in order to hold onto a passing grade later in the semester.

After the assignment was given, students immediately began to group up around the toolboxes. There was no limitation given on how many people could be in a group, since multiple groups would be working on the same car, and everyone would be graded for their abilities individually. Due to that, groups of friends numbering seven to eight occupied a few toolboxes, earning a look of slight disappointment from the professor.

As everyone joined up with their friends, Shiro made his way to a nearby toolbox with no one around it. As expected, no one came to join him, not even the other loners, who stepped up to join the other small groups in the room.

By the time everyone stood at a toolbox, every group numbered at least three people, bar Shiro's, which was him alone. The professor called for everyone to start, then discreetly made his way over to Shiro as the students dove in.

"Shirogane?"

Shiro looked up from the drawer he was emptying to meet eyes with the professor, who had a slight look of concern on his face. "Hey, Professor," he greeted with a polite smile.

The professor returned a weak grin that was more forced than the relationships in the cheesy romance movies Shiro had been tricked into watching by his brother's friend Lance. The older man looked a bit pained, and his lips twitched as he pondered what to say.

"Are you alright with working alone, Shirogane? I know you aren't much of a socializer, but if you want someone to help you out I can talk to a few of the other students-" he began, only to be silenced by a dismissive wave by Shiro.

"That's okay, sir. The people in this class aren't exactly enamored by me, but that's alright. Like you said, I'm not much of a socializer. I'll be fine," he assured, hoping the calm, confident tone he was faking didn't sound as strained as his voice felt. It wasn't like he was lying, per say. He personally wasn't very fond of most of his classmates, just as they weren't very fond of him. However, the cold numbness of rejection was a far-too-familiar weight in his chest that made his lungs feel a little too tight.

"You sure?" the professor asked, his reluctance to leave Shiro by himself uncomfortably blatant. The professor cared about his students, and it pained him to see someone like Shiro so isolated. The man knew Shiro was very polite and well-mannered, and he always felt extreme malcontent at his student's ostracization.

"Yes, sir," Shiro replied. He nodded his head toward the group at the next toolbox over, just about five feet away. "Besides, I won't get bored having to listen to that group over there," he joked, though he was sure to let a little of his exasperation into his light tone.

The professor smiled again and nodded, finally backing down. He watched Shiro for another moment before nodding again and turning away to go check on the other groups.

With the professor gone, Shiro sighed silently and got back to work. He liked his professor, but he wished the man wouldn't try so hard. Shiro had had an English professor in his first year who was very similar to his current mechanics one, a person who encouraged bonding with classmates and group work. They had tried to put Shiro into groups on multiple occasions and would approach the group upon noticing Shiro being isolated, wanting to get the other students to be more inviting toward him. Somehow that just made Shiro feel worse, as back then he had still been in the process of learning that other people didn't like that he was different. Watching students turn annoyed glares from the professor to Shiro made his gut clench with embarrassment and his heart freeze in despair. There was something painful about needing an authority figure to make others stick around him for any amount of time, and all the professor's efforts had done was make Shiro feel worse. The feeling had been hard for him to ever put a label on, which made it difficult to talk about, and that difficulty made him clam up. When Keith would ask if he was alright, Shiro would simply walk away without saying a word. He'd spent his autumn break during his first semester and the winter break between his first and second semesters locked in his room back home almost all day every day, struggling to breath with the heavy exhaustion of the mountains he was still struggling to conquer and the new ones that stretched out ahead of him.

Shiro shook his head and banished his thoughts. His first year in college had been a very dark time in his life, definitely one he didn't want to look back on for multiple reasons. Even Keith never mentioned it, despite how closed-off Shiro had been to him starting from the day of the man's discharge from the military all the way until the middle of summer after his first full year of college. Shiro had gotten much better since then, and he had no intention to linger on the old thoughts and memories he'd worked so hard to put behind him.

Setting to work, Shiro pulled all the messy drawers from his toolbox and dumped their contents into the largest drawer, which was more of a bin that pulled out from the bottom of the box. He recognized it as a storage area for large tools, something he might use once in awhile in his class, but wouldn't need any time soon. The space was empty and likely would remain that way, since the bigger pieces of equipment were usually relatively expensive, which made universities hesitant to place them in the hands of students without an instructor supervising.

Taking a quick inventory of his tools, Shiro thought about the best way to organize them. There wasn't nearly enough drawers for every single type of tool to have its own space, but he didn't need that much storage. Similar tools could go in similar drawers, smaller ones like screwdrivers in the tiniest drawers at the top and bigger ones like hammers in the largest drawers near the bottom. He would keep the different kinds of tools separated within the drawers they shared, taking care not to mix his Phillips screwdrivers with the flatheads. He also decided to organize them by size, a common tactic that some toolboxes required when they were made with specific molds in the metal for specific tools. While his toolbox was a simple one containing no specific molds, sorting by size would make it much easier for him to find what he needed while working later in the semester.

As Shiro worked, he drowned out the world around him. His mind was on nothing but the tools in front of him, carefully holding a mental image of how he was organizing his things as he worked so he wouldn't accident sort the same kind of tool into two different places. The focus made him work quickly and efficiently, but it left him oblivious to the outside world. It wasn't long before he got a firsthand lesson about a rule his professor had told the class on day one; always pay attention to what your peers are swinging around.

The rowdy group just feet from Shiro was likely the least efficient of all the groups in the class. When Shiro was almost done organizing, they had barely put away three tools. They were too busy swinging the tools around, pretending the wrenches were swords and they were knights. Despite how often the professor yelled at them, they resumed their fooling around almost immediately after every scolding.

One of the boys in the group in particular was doing anything but work. He had his eyes locked on a girl across the room, who smiled at him when he pretended to fling a wrench like a throwing knife. The boy was off in his own world trying to make the girl laugh, and didn't realize how close he'd gotten to Shiro during his antics until he was pretending to be Thor as he hefted a rather large forked hammer in the air – and struck Shiro right in the head.

Shiro stumbled to the side, his hand flying up as pain exploded in his temple. Across the room the professor looked up when the student he was speaking to froze, and the man's expression went from the kind one he used when explaining something, to shock, then to anger in mere seconds. He stormed across the room, glaring at the boy who held the hammer. The student was stiff and pale, his eyes wide with fear as they flickered between Shiro and the enraged professor. The professor gave the boy a look that promised hell, then his expression slipped into a more gentle look as he slowly approached Shiro.

"Shirogane? Are you okay?" he asked, moving glacier-slow as he sent a hand on Shiro's shoulder with a butterfly-light touch. Shiro ripped his shoulder away, his eyes wide and wild. He saw not the professor, but a masked man with a metal pipe, an old memory from years ago. That was only for a moment though, and as the initial shock from the pain in his forehead faded and gave his mind a moment of clarity, he was able to see what was really in front of him.

"Yeah," Shiro responded after taking a breath to calm his racing heart and assure his panicked mind that he was safe, fighting to keep a straight face despite the deep throb in his temple. He could feel the slick of blood beneath his gloved fingers, and when he pulled his hand away to check the bleeding, a heavy droplet slid right into his eyelashes. Shiro cringed at the sensation, pressing his hand firmly to the wound to stem the bleeding.

"Are you sure?" the professor asked, his eyes asking the question he didn't voice aloud; Is your mind okay? Shiro's professors didn't know much of the backstory, but they knew he suffered from PTSD. They were aware that he might tense up from contact, react badly to certain sounds and smells. Shiro had asked that his professors be notified in advance, so when Shiro walked into class on the first day they would understand. He didn't do that because he wanted to write them a book about things not to do and not to say. He didn't want to go into detail, and he didn't want them to walk on eggshells around him. He just wanted them to know what to do in the case something went wrong. He wanted them to know to talk softly, to only approach him if absolutely necessary, and to approach him extremely slowly with no sudden moves or noises, especially in cases like the one that had just transpired. Had his professor rushed over and grabbed his shoulder to turn him around and inspect the wound, Shiro's survival instincts would have kicked in and he could have hurt the man. Shiro took measures to avoid such accidents, typically keeping himself well-grounded and trying not to slip too far into his thoughts in potentially dangerous situations, because while he was working to put his past behind him, there were some things that simply didn't go away. If he couldn't fully restrain himself from lashing out defensively should something happen, he would at least try to avoid falling into those situations as much as possible.

"Yes, sir," Shiro assured, taking a deep breath to steady himself. The hammer hadn't hit him hard enough to cause any real damage, but it had sliced him pretty good and would leave an impressive bruise for at least a few days.

The professor called for everyone else to get back to work, bar the kids who had been fooling around next to Shiro, who were sent to the hallway to be dealt with soon. Aware that his student was feeling okay, the professor stepped a bit closer, and used the hand he had on Shiro's shoulder to gently turn the younger man as he quickly inspected the wound on Shiro's head. After a moment, he withdrew his hand and stepped back to give Shiro some space.

"Why don't you head out early? I'll put your box away for you," the professor offered, and while Shiro wouldn't have minded staying, he was still feeling a bit jittery. It would be hard to focus if he stayed, and he wouldn't get much done. Staying would also mean enduring more stares and more whispers than usual, and he was feeling too stressed to put up with it. He hadn't quite had an episode, but he had gotten close. Knowing he needed some time alone to calm himself, Shiro nodded.

"Thank you, sir."

The professor gave Shiro a smile, clasping his hands in front of himself to keep himself from giving Shiro a supportive pat on the shoulder, a common habit of his. Shiro was thankful for the man's thoughtfulness. With a clean rag the professor gave him as he packed up his bag, Shiro exited the classroom. He pressed the rag to his head to soak up the blood until he reached his dorm and was able to get a bandage, something the professor didn't have on hand.

As he walked down the sidewalk, Shiro was thankful for the dim evening light that made him less visible to the world. The sidewalks were all empty, most students either in class or in their dorms, so Shiro was able to take a breath. The cool air filled his lungs and made his muscles relax, the adrenaline from earlier draining from his body and leaving him feeling exhausted. He was almost tripping on his own feet by the time he reached his dorm and stuck the key in the lock, allowing himself to stumble inside. He dropped his bag on the floor and made his way to the bathroom, where he dug out some antiseptic and bandages for his head. After cleaning the wound he inspected it, wiping away the beads of blood that seeped out. A bruise was already beginning to form, the spot purple and beginning to swell. He didn't have any ice, so after putting on a bandage, he put a hand towel under the faucet and let the cool water run on it, then pressed it against his head as he went to his bedroom.

Laying down gently to not disturb his head, Shiro checked his phone and saw a message from Keith. He opened it and smiled when he found a picture of Keith's friends, Lance and Hunk, waving at the camera.

 **Keith: Lance and Hunk say hello**

 **Shiro: Tell them I said hello back :)**

Exiting the conversation, Shiro found himself in his contacts, thumb hovering over the newest one; Matt. For some reason he had the urge to see him again, to talk to him and complain about that stupid kid with the hammer, the other idiots in his class, and various other insignificant things that usually didn't come up in his conversations. It took him a moment to realize that those were the things he used to talk about all the time in high school; the random little things, the shitty classmates, the minor inconveniences. Those were the things he used to mindlessly talk to his friends about, and after years of not having anyone to vent to, he had forgotten.

Hesitantly, Shiro opened a conversation with Matt, contemplating what to say. He was feeling tired and didn't think he'd be awake much longer, so he couldn't exactly start a full-blown conversation. He also hadn't talked to Matt in a week, so he didn't feel it would be appropriate to start rambling about his day. However, he did want to talk to Matt at least a little.

Shiro pondered the thought a bit more, then internally slapped himself. 'Keep it simple, stupid," he thought, then typed out a message.

 **Shiro: Hey Matt, it's Shiro. Do you want to have lunch together tomorrow?**

Shiro stared at the screen, holding his breath. He stayed that way until his lungs grew tight and he had to exhale. He sighed to himself and shook his head slightly. "It's not like he's been waiting for your text all week. He's probably not going to see it for a while," Shiro thought. He felt a bit dumb, and was starting to regret sending the text, but there was no taking it back. Once a message was sent, it couldn't be deleted, which made Shiro decide that -even if life couldn't have them- at least phones should have an undo button.

In an attempt to distract himself, Shiro returned to the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. When he finished he walked out in fresh clothes, the dirty ones from the day waiting in the laundry basket to be cleaned. His gloves sat on top of the pile, serving as a reminder for him to actually go to the laundromat before he was out of clean clothes, or more importantly, clean gloves.

Wiping a smudge of toothpaste foam off his lip, Shiro went back to his room and picked up his phone to plug it in. He stopped when the notification light flashed, and when he hit the power button he came face to face with a new message.

 **Matt: Sure. How about at 1?**

Shiro hadn't been expecting a reply that night, and the small surprise blossomed a flower of warmth in his chest.

 **Shiro: Sure. See you there**

Shiro hurried to put his phone down and let it charge, noticing he was down to 4%. As he laid in bed and drifted off to sleep, there was a small smile on his face. His weariness dragged him into unconsciousness quickly, and he missed the weak notification light that lit up his room with an incoming text.

 **Matt: I look forward to it :)**


	10. Time For Lunch

A/N: I have returned! I finished my college finals just this past week, and am now down to just high school and work. However, I have two big projects due at the end of month that I still need to finish, then exams after that. I may see about dropping down to updates every two weeks after that, but I'll have to see how it goes. As always, thank you to everyone who keeps up with the story, and those who leave comments and kudos. It's always nice to know there are at least a few people who enjoy my writing enough to read it. I hope you all enjoy chapter 10 :)

* * *

Shiro woke in the morning with a pulsing headache. He couldn't help the groan that slipped from his lips as he flopped from his back to his stomach, burying his face in his pillow to escape the blinding rays of sunlight from the window that seemed to shine directly into his brain.

' _Today I'm definitely not getting up,"_ Shiro thought, attempting to burrow his head deeper into the pillow as his headache intensified. It was a Saturday, meaning no classes, so it wasn't like he _had_ to get up. He could just lay there, not move, and hope his headache would go away. However, laying facedown was doing him no favors, but he couldn't lay any other way without facing the sunlight. That would have to go away too.

A sudden weight hit Shiro's back, and he jerked his head up in surprise. His heart stuttered until his eyes landed on Eurus, who sat on the small of his back with an annoyed look on her face. She stared at him as he took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, then she walked up to his shoulder, jumped onto his nightstand, and batted his phone with her paw.

"Eurus, no," Shiro scolded, though there wasn't any anger in his tone. He was exhausted and in pain, and it left him without the will to properly tell-off his cat.

Before Eurus could knock his phone off the nightstand, Shiro snatched it up. He noticed the blinking notification light and frowned, then hit the home button to see what it was. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw the message from Matt that had been sent and remembered the conversation from the night before. Shiro looked over at Eurus and immediately realized what she'd been trying to tell him.

"Good girl, Eurus," he told her. If cats could look smug, she definitely would at the moment.

Shaking his head, Shiro glanced at the corner of his phone screen for the time, and froze when it read 12:20pm. He was supposed to meet with Matt at the cafeteria in _forty minutes_ , and factoring in the ten minutes it would take him to get to the cafeteria if he walked fast, he had only half an hour to do some daily chores and his morning routine.

"SHIT!"

Shiro threw off his blankets and jumped to his feet, only to stumble across the room into the wall as a bolt of pain and a wave of dizziness struck him. He hissed and gingerly patted at his temple, narrowing his eyes as he felt at the bump left behind from the events of the previous day. There wasn't much he could do about it except take some painkillers and hope for the best.

When the dizziness subsided, Shiro closed the short distance between him and his dresser, where he pulled fresh clothes from one of the drawers as well as a clean pair of gloves. He then stepped over to his small closet and pulled a silvery long-sleeve shirt off its hanger before rushing to the bathroom.

Shiro washed up in record time, not that is usually took him very long to shower on a normal day, and ran a comb through his tuft of white hair while simultaneously brushing his teeth. Once that was done he picked up the bottle of antiseptic and box of bandages he'd left out the night before and peeled the old bandage off his face. The spot underneath was an ugly splotch of green against his tan skin with a dot of purple around the shallow cut made by the fork of the hammer. It had scabbed overnight and was no longer bleeding, but Shiro didn't want to risk going without a bandage, so he dabbed at it with antiseptic and gently stuck another medium-sized square bandage over it.

Once he was done in the bathroom, Shiro returned to his room to check the time on his phone; it was 12:40pm. He had no clue why time was passing so quickly during his scramble, but he didn't have the minutes to spare in order to think about it.

Moving as quickly as he could without actually running, Shiro went to the adjacent room that held his workout equipment and Eurus' things. He picked up the water dish, jogged to the kitchen, cleaned and refilled the bowl in the sink, then ran it back. He then opened up the plastic bin that held Eurus's food and scooped out a cup full to dump in her dish. It took a few tries for him to fill the cup, as the bin was almost empty, and he made a mental note to pick up some more cat food soon.

When Eurus's food and water bowls were both full, Shiro moved on to her litter box. It would be faster to dump the whole thing and refill it, but a glance into the second plastic bin in the room -which held the cat litter- told Shiro he would need to buy more of that, too. There wasn't enough left to properly fill the litter box, so Shiro settled on spot cleaning it and making another mental note to also get some cat litter while he was out.

Eurus purred happily as Shiro set her litter box back on the ground and immediately set to scratching around in it. Typically Shiro would stop and laugh, but he was close to running late and did nothing more than shake his head with amusement while returning to his bedroom.

Upon returning to his room, Shiro snatched up his phone and glanced at the weather app to check the temperature. A heatwave had been going through, but it was almost the third week of September, so the weather was beginning to cool. The temperature at the moment was a solid 65 **F, cool enough that Shiro wouldn't have to worry about overheating, but too warm still for a jacket. With that in mind, he dashed around his dorm in search of his ID, which he stuffed in his pockets with his keys. He checked the time again and saw that it was 12:49pm, leaving him with a minute to take a quick lap around his dorm to make sure everything that needed to be done before he left was taken care of. Once finished, he grabbed his wallet from the counter next to the door, slipped on his shoes, and left.**

-000-

Shiro made it just in time. While he knew it wouldn't be too bad if he was a few minutes late, as he could have simply informed Matt that he had woken up late, he was afraid to. He didn't want Matt to think he didn't care, or that he didn't really want to be out. He didn't want Matt to think he wasn't looking forward to hanging out with him. He wanted Matt to know his company was appreciated, even if that meant jogging down the sidewalk and weaving through groups of people in order to reach the cafeteria on time.

Upon his arrival at the cafeteria, Shiro was glad to find that he wasn't even breathing hard. Despite that, his heart was pounding, though he was well aware that it wasn't due to the running. Taking a breath to calm his anxiety, Shiro ran his fingers through his tuft of white hair to make sure it wasn't tangled then looked around for a familiar face. It took a few moments to locate Matt, as students who had just woken up from a late Friday night were all crowding toward the cafeteria for food. The sheer number of people made Shiro's pulse even faster, and he had to keep sidestepping to avoid people bumping into him as he searched for Matt. The boy was relatively small, making him difficult to see in the sea of people, but Shiro did eventually notice him standing half inside the shrubs next to the cafeteria doors as he attempted to move away from the crowd of people entering the building.

Shiro quickly made his way into the crowd, cringing when his right arm bumped a girl's shoulder, but she didn't even notice. He tried to avoid contact with other people, but it was difficult as the incoming flow of people funneled in toward the set of two doors leading to the cafeteria.

As he got closer to the entrance, Shiro tried to think of how to get Matt's attention. The boy wasn't looking in his direction, and likely wouldn't hear him over the chatter of the other students.

Unsure of what else to do, Shiro waited until he was close enough to reach out and touch Matt to try to contact him. Shiro stretched out his left arm and tapped Matt's shoulder as the flow of students herded him through the doors. Matt and Shiro made eye contact for just a moment, then it was broken when Shiro passed through the doorway. Shiro looked back for another second before turning to face forward as he cleared the second set of doors.

The room opened up immediately at the doorway, and the tight crowd of students dispersed enough that Shiro finally had some breathing room. He was able to step out of the flow and stand off to the side to wait for Matt. Shiro watched the incoming students until he saw Matt, then followed the tech student further into the room until the students broke up enough that Shiro could easily weave past through group to reach him.

"Hey," Shiro greeted, raising his voice a little so Matt would be able to hear him. Matt jumped a little, startled by Shiro's sudden appearance, as he had been looking the other way.

"Oh! Hi," Matt returned, his lips turning up in an infectious smile.

Shiro felt his own lips curl pleasantly at the sight, and he nodded toward the line up ahead of them. Matt caught the memo and walked with Shiro up to the lines in the back of the room for food.

The wait wasn't long, but it was a bit awkward. It was a too loud for them to talk, so they just silently moved through the line together, picking out whatever food looked good and making their way to the registers. They got into the same line and waited as the students ahead of them swiped cards and handed over cash to pay for their meals. Upon reaching the front of the line, Shiro swiped his ID card and got a nod from the man at the register, then he stepped back as Matt swiped his own ID before stepping away from the register as well. Shiro raised an eyebrow as Matt approached, and the tech student nodded toward an empty booth along the back wall.

The two quickly made their way to the booth before it could be taken and claimed it for themselves. They set their trays down and slid into the seats, then Shiro fixed Matt with a curious look.

"You don't have to pay for lunch either?" he asked, a bit interested. It was a rarity for students at their university to get free meals, as those deals were typically only given to students who required loads of financial aid and loans in order to go to school, leaving them without the money needed for food. It wasn't that Shiro thought Matt was some guy from a wealthy family or anything of that sort, as he didn't know very much about Matt himself let alone Matt's family, but he was curious as to what the circumstances were.

"Yeah. Staff members don't have to pay for meals, and as an employee of the IT Center, I count as a staff member," Matt explained, picking up his fork for twirl it around in the pile of spaghetti he had picked up from the lunch line. "Though only the basics are covered. If I get anything extra like a flavored water or something, then I have to pay for that," he explained, then his expression shifted to curiosity. "What about you?"

Shiro went quiet, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He didn't like explaining his situation to people, and while he did feel far more comfortable around Matt than any other person he had met at the university thus far, he was unsure about telling the boy his life story and potentially scaring him off. There was also the possible event in which Matt would pity him, and that was almost worse than people who found him creepy, or weird, or something of that sort. However, Matt had answered Shiro's question, so he felt he shouldn't leave the boy hanging.

"Just some difficult financial circumstances," Shiro answered vaguely, not wanting to go in depth.

Matt seemed to pick up on Shiro's discomfort, because he quickly changed the topic.

"Do you have any pets?" he asked, his curiosity genuine. Shiro nodded.

"Yeah, actually. I have a cat," he replied. Matt's eyes widened.

"Oooo. I have dog. Her name is Bae Bae," the boy said, his voice tinged with excitement. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, which he quickly unlocked before pulling up his camera roll. Shiro watched Matt scroll through what looked like hundreds of pictures before he chose one and pulled it up. Matt then turned the screen to face Shiro so the aviation student could see the picture. A medium-sized tan dog had its tongue hanging out of its mouth, looking at the camera with bright eyes. Its tale was a blur in the background, likely due to it wagging.

Shiro smiled at the picture of the dog, though his expression changed to curiosity as his eyes landed on the person who was crouched next to it. It was a kid, one who looked to be no older than fourteen or fifteen, who had features extremely similar to Matt's. Their hairstyles were the same, their eyes the same large, bright orbs of brown, though the shades differed. Like Matt, the kid appeared to be very thin and short.

Matt noticed Shiro staring and turned the screen back to face himself. His eyes landed on the kid in the picture and he smiled.

"That's my younger sister, Pidge. Well, actually her name is Katie, but I call her Pidge. She used to claim to hate it, but since I started going to college she's been pretty insistent that I call her that," Matt explained with a grin on his face. "We don't see each other much most days. She must miss me," he joked with a light tone, though his grin disappeared and was replaced by a small smile as the light in his eyes faded into something sad. It was clear that Matt's sister wasn't the only one who missed their sibling.

"She's adorable," Shiro complimented, the girl's childish smile reminding him of the way Keith used to smile years ago, back before they hit rock bottom and lost everything.

"I know, right!?" Matt responded excitedly, making Shiro chuckle.

The light had returned to Matt's eyes, and it made something in Shiro's chest tingle. Unsure of what it was, he ignored it.

"So, do you have any pictures of your cat?" Matt asked after taking one last look at the picture on his screen before putting his phone away. He still had a small grin on his face that Shiro found he couldn't have said no to even if he didn't have any pictures. He didn't exactly have many, but he knew he had a few.

"Yeah. Most of them aren't very recent, though," he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. He hesitated on the lock screen, taking a moment to remember his password before typing it in. He hadn't yet gotten used to the password, and sometimes had to take a minute to think about it before he could remember what it was.

Shiro opened up his camera roll and was met with about thirty pictures. Half of them were screenshots of planes from movies he'd watched in the past, and another good handful were the semi-blurry pictures of Keith he always tried to take. The remaining five were pictures with Eurus in them, though two were blurry and two more were from shortly after he first found her. Only one was a good picture of her, and that one just happened to be the exact picture that was his lock screen.

"This is the most recent one I have. It's from over the summer break," Shiro said, holding his phone out for Matt to take. The boy accepted it and tilted it toward himself so he could see the image better. "That's Eurus and my brother, Keith, who has no idea I have this picture and would delete it if he did," Shiro explain with a little bit of a chuckle and a tone full of fondness. It wouldn't strike him until later how easily the words came out, words he typically never spoke to anyone. He wasn't a fan of talking about family despite how much he cared about Keith, though he knew that how much he cared was part of the reason why.

Matt looked at the picture and smiled, both at Eurus and Keith. "Cute," he said, though it was hard to tell if he was talking about the picture, Eurus, or Keith. He didn't elaborate, and Shiro decided not to ask. "Your brother isn't much of a picture person?" Matt asked, handing the phone back. Shiro looked at the picture again before hitting the power button.

"Nah. He's pretty camera shy," he admitted, getting an amused smile from Matt.

The two continued talking about random things, from what they were doing in their classes to how slow the student internet had been a few days ago. The conversation didn't have much of a point, not meant to let them get to know each other better or anything of that sort. It wasn't awkward or personal, rather it was something to fill the air between them and let them keep talking. They were able to complain to each other about the stupidest things and laugh at each other's small instances of misfortune, such as one of Matt's stories in which he had dropped his screwdriver while working and fell out of his chair while reaching for it.

The whole time, neither of them got uncomfortable. Neither of them wanted to go anywhere, or talk about anything else. They were content, more than content, actually. They were happy, a feeling quite foreign to Shiro. It was nice, very nice, and as they talked he wished it would never end. Only it had to, because eventually they finished their food and started getting annoyed looks from students standing around, waiting for tables to open up. Eventually they had to get up, dump their trays, and leave. Eventually the conversation had to end.

Shiro and Matt exited the cafeteria building, then walked slowly down the sidewalk together. It was harder to talk outside than it had been in the cafeteria, as some clouds had rolled in and the wind had picked up in the last hour and proceeded to carry their words away. After a few minutes of repeating themselves over and over again, they settled into silence. Their attempts at words were replaced with quick sideways glances and gazes that flicked away from each other when they met, and the two reveled in the comfortable atmosphere that settled over them as they continued step-by-step with no exact destination in mind.

At one point during the walk, a strong gust of wind whipped Shiro's white tuft of fringe back, revealing the plain tan bandage stuck to his forehead, the faintest parts of the bruise beneath seeping out around the edges. At that exact moment Matt glanced up at Shiro, and his eyes locked on to the spot, causing Shiro to tense. For a moment he thought Matt would stop and ask about it the same way people always did when someone they knew got a rather nasty-looking injury, and Shiro prepared to shrug the question off, but it never came. Instead, Matt's gaze dropped down to Shiro's eyes, where he must have been able to see Shiro's sudden discomfort, because the boy's lips pulled up into the slightest smile and didn't speak a word. The tension left Shiro's shoulders in an instant, and he returned Matt's smile and shifted his gaze to the pavement below his feet.

Eventually the pair found themselves slowing to a stop in front of the building that held the IT Center, and they turned to face each other as the wind suddenly calmed, leaving them in silence.

"Thanks for meeting up today," Matt said, looking up to Shiro with a smile.

Shiro nodded. "You too."

The pair was silent for a moment, their gazes shifting around as they pondered whether to leave it at that or talk a little more. It was almost a minute before Matt broke the silence.

"Soooo," he began, his eyes on the ground as he subconsciously tapped his fingers on his legs somewhat nervously, "do you want to meet up again tomorrow?" he offered, looking up from the ground but not meeting Shiro's eyes.

The older of the two stiffened slightly, his eyes widening a millimeter as he processed the offer. "Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Same time?" Shiro asked, his own gaze dropping to the pavement as he began to pick at his gloves.

"Sure," Matt agreed, risking a glance up at Shiro and immediately dropping his gaze when their eyes met.

The two stood in silence for a few more moments, their eyes flicking up and down a bit awkwardly until Matt took a hesitant step back and gave Shiro a small smile before turning and scurrying into the building. Shiro watched him go with a ghost of a smile on his face until Matt disappeared from sight, then he began the trek back to his dorm.


	11. I Love To Hear You Talk

A/N: Chapter 11 is here! Exams are coming up next week and the following week, so wish me luck. This chapter was originally part of the next one, but that left me with such a huge chapter I had to break it down a bit. I hope you guys enjoy this still :)

* * *

Over the course of the next week, Matt and Shiro met up for lunch every day. They both would reach the building just before 1pm, then enter and go through the line together before finding an open table and talking.

Oftentimes the conversations were dominated by Matt, who would ask a few questions and ramble on about anything and everything. He'd ask Shiro what his favorite movie was, or his favorite book, and if he hadn't heard of them he'd listen to Shiro give a summary then launch into an explanation of his own favorites. When common topics came up, like Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter, the two would have tiny arguments over the smallest details that left one of them pouting and the other smiling victoriously.

When Matt prompted Shiro to talk about some of the things he liked, the boy would lean forward in his seat and listen attentively with curious eyes and questions at the ready. He'd grill Shiro about what he was doing in his mechanics class and ask about the tools they used and the objects they worked on. He'd then offer up advice for what Shiro could do in order to be more efficient and do better on projects, or list problems that certain issues signified so Shiro would be better at recognizing them.

When Matt talked, Shiro would lean his elbow on the table and rest his cheek in his hand as he listened and watched Matt gesture wildly, talking with his entire body. Even when Matt's words sounded like a foreign language, Shiro would listen and smile, asking a few questions when he understood some of what he was hearing and hoping Matt either didn't notice his confusion or wasn't bothered by it when Shiro was totally lost.

Despite how much the two talked, they never seemed to run out of thinks to talk _about_. Their discussions about movies and books sometimes lasted for multiple days, and Matt's stories from the IT Center were endless. When the two started discussing their majors, Matt majoring in Computer Science and minoring in Engineering, and Shiro majoring in Aviation and minoring in Mechanics, the discussion topics grew even broader. Shiro would ask about all the stuff Matt needed to learn and what kind of tech he liked working with most, while Matt would ask Shiro what he liked about flying and what technical things needed to be taken into consideration, like weather and plane type.

The Sunday after their first planned lunch meet-up, Shiro and Matt went to lunch together at 1pm just as they had for the past week. They got their food, sat at a table, then Shiro dug in as Matt picked at his sandwich and talked excitedly about the iPhone X that had recently been brought to the IT Center.

"It's so thin and sleek, and the screen on the back is amazing! It's literally like a single piece of glass and nothing else, kind of like what Tony Stark has in all the Marvel movies. The camera is perfect, too. I mean, we're not supposed to mess around with stuff we don't have to mess around with in order to fix the phone, especially not personal information, but we just opened the camera up for a couple minutes to look at the quality. It's literally like looking around with glasses on when you have perfect vision, but like, the glasses make it easier to see, not harder. And the color is so clear! I swear, everyone needs that phone, except it costs like one-thousand dollars or something and is _so_ fragile. The person who brought their phone in said their friend dropped their iPhone X the day after they bought it, but they only dropped it like 3 inches onto their bed of all things and the screen just _shattered_. I guess not long after they left it on the floor and their older brother stepped on it with these really big work boots and completely _destroyed_ it. The person was asking if rice would fix that destruction, too, and not just drowned phones. I swear, Cyprus and I almost cried from holding back laughter and Professor Rift just dropped his head into his hands and left," Matt rambled, flinging his arms around and doing poor imitations of the student who brought the phone in and asked their hilarious questions.

Shiro zoned out a little bit as he listened to Matt talk, his brain focusing on the way the boy's eyes shone brightly with excitement and his mouth was stuck in a permanent grin. All he could see was the very embodiment of joy and innocence in front of him, and it was so unbelievably refreshing that he might as well have been breathing in the freshest air in the history of the planet. He could have sat there and listened to Matt talk with a grin on his face for the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, Matt noticed Shiro's slightly far-away look and misinterpreted it as boredom.

"Oh, am I talking too much? I do it pretty often, but usually someone tells me to stop pretty early on because I don't notice-" he began, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly as his gaze fell to the table, a slight sadness settling in his eyes until he was cut off by Shiro.

"No, no you're not, really. I like listening to you talk about the things you like. You're really expressive and can't seem to stop smiling. It's a nice break from all the shitty attitudes a lot of people here typically have. Seriously, Matt, don't worry about it," the man assured, pulling his face away from his hand to shake his head vigorously. He gave Matt a small smile, which the boy returned before launching back into his excited rambling with only a little hesitation.

Shiro settled his cheek back into his palm, keeping the gentle smile on his face even as his brain swirled with rage. _'I am going to murder whoever told this incredible genius to shut up,'_ he thought, the hand that dangled lazily off the edge of his side of the table clenching into a fist.

Matt talked a bit more, then ate his food and listened to Shiro talk about his latest flight aviation class, where someone flying with Con had panicked mid-flight and nearly flown into a field three miles away.

Once both their trays were empty, the pair dropped them onto the stacks on top of the garbage bins and left. When they emerged from the cafeteria, they moved off to the side so they weren't blocking the door and stopped to face each other.

"So, where are you going?" Shiro asked. Matt shrugged.

"Typically I'd go to the IT Center, but Cyprus is there right now to work on stuff and keep me out. Since I've spent most of my weekends so far this semester working on stuff, Professor Rift wants me to 'take a break' and 'be social' or something," he explained, raising his hands to do air quotes and drawing a chuckle from Shiro. "What about you?" he asked.

Shiro paused. He had found half a bag of cat litter in the trunk of his car, along with a gallon bucket of Eurus' food, so he hadn't gone to the store last Saturday as he had originally planned. However, what he had found was running low, and he would need to get more very soon. "I actually have to go to the store down the road, the uh…Kroler?" he wondered aloud, unable to remember the name of the store.

"Hmm… Kloner? Something like that, maybe," Matt agreed, his brow furrowing as he tried to think.

The two stood in silence for a moment, internally debating. Shiro was the first to give up, letting out a low sigh. He then looked back at Matt, who was still thinking, and stiffened as an idea came to mind.

"If you don't have anything to do for a while, do you want to, uh, come with me?" the aviation student asked a little hesitantly, hoping the warmth that had rushed to his cheeks wasn't visible. Matt looked up at him in surprise, his eyes widening a fraction. Shiro worried that maybe he was going a little too far, pushing the slowly-expanding boundaries around his and Matt's friendship. They had just eaten and talked together for over an hour, and Shiro would understand if Matt was ready to end their time together for the day.

"Oh, uh…yeah, sure," Matt said after a moment, looking to the ground and causing Shiro to miss the faint color that flushed his cheeks. The air had gotten heavy and awkward, and Shiro almost wanted to rewind time and shove his offer back down his throat. However, as his brain processed Matt's words, his own eyes widened.

"Uh, okay. Um, my car is over by my dorm," he said before slowly stepping in the direction they needed to go. Matt followed, keeping his head down. An awkward silence then settled over them, and Shiro, with his extremely rusty and clunky social skills, had no clue how to end it.

The silence continued until they reached the car, where Shiro quietly mumbled that Matt should sit up front in the passenger seat because the car was relatively small and there wasn't much leg room in the back.

The two got into the car and buckled in, then Shiro turned the key in the ignition and swiveled his head to watch for cars as he slowly backed out of the parking space. He crept the short distance from the parking space to the side road that his dorm was located on, then headed for the main campus road. Once he got there, he found himself at a yellow light and slowed to a stop.

Shiro stole a glance at Matt, who was looking at his hands in his lap. Neither of them had really spoken since they'd left the cafeteria, and Shiro was regretting his offer despite the fact that Matt had accepted. They had gone from a comfortable conversation to something tense and awkward, and he couldn't think of any way to lighten the mood.

Luckily for them both, neither of them had to do anything. When Shiro glanced back up at the road after looking at Matt, he froze, and Matt saw him stiffen and followed his gaze only to have the same reaction. Four people were going across the crosswalk, all of them dressed in strange costumes. One wore one of the popular inflatable dinosaur suits, and upon closer inspection, the two students in the car noticed the person was on roller blades. A second person wore a banana suit, and was skateboarding behind the dinosaur. Next to the banana was someone in a hot dog suit riding a scooter. Behind the three of them was a final person on a unicycle dressed as some sort of fruit neither Matt nor Shiro could discern.

Matt and Shiro watched in stunned silence as the four crossed the street and continued on their way just before the traffic light turned green. Shiro numbly turned the car in the direction of the store, then glanced at Matt.

"So, college, amirite?" he asked. Just a moment later they both burst into a fit of laughter that didn't completely settle down until five minutes later when they pulled into the parking lot of their destination. As Shiro scanned for a place to park, Matt's eyes went to the building.

"Oh, we were wrong. It's Kronners," Matt said, looking up at the enormous block letters on the front of the store. He and Shiro shared a look as Shiro glanced at the store then pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. After a moment of gazing at each other's expressionless faces, they started laughing all over again.


	12. A Friend

A/N: Hey guys! This summer has proved to be much busier than I'd hoped for, but the chapters will keep coming, I promise. This one is extra long, but definitely worth the time it took to write. As always I'm trying to maintain a slow burn development, though I admit I actually have a set ending for the story. That definitely won't be any time too soon, but I'd say the story is probably already at or past the halfway mark. Depending on the events that occur as Matt and Shiro start to get closer, the end could come a bit sooner than originally planned or a bit later, though there will still be quite a few chapters in between. I'm hoping to soon explore Matt's character in this story, as while it is centered around Shiro, Matt will not be a flat character. He has a bit of his own stuff going on, and hopefully soon as the two get to know each other, some of that will come to light along with more details about Shiro's past.  
Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

As Shiro and Matt entered Kronners, they both stopped to look around at the vast array of departments and endless shelves.

"I get that this is a supermarket, but I fail to see why it needs to be so big," Shiro mumbled, shaking his head as he began to walk again. All he needed was food and litter for Eurus, but it always took him ages to get it because the pet items were in one of the back corners of the store, far from the entrance.

Matt followed Shiro without a word, glancing down the isles as they passed them. The pair then fell into silence again, and while it wasn't nearly as awkward as the previous one, it wasn't quite comfortable either.

"Soooo, what are you getting?" Matt asked, sticking his hands in his pockets when he couldn't decide between crossing his arms or keeping them at his sides.

"Just some litter and food for Eurus," Shiro said, nodding toward his destination. "It's all the way in the back of the store, though," he added. Matt nodded.

"Yeah. Sometimes I come here with my parents when they get groceries, and it's always a pain getting stuff for Bae Bae. It's hard to steer the cart all the way to the registers when it's weighed down with a ton of groceries and a 50lb bag of dog food," the tech student complained with a sigh.

Suddenly, Matt stopped, confusion taking over his features.

"Don't you need a cart?" he asked. Shiro shook his head.

"Like you said, the carts are a pain to steer when they're heavy. I usually just carry the bags," he explained, getting a nod of understanding from Matt.

"I guess that works," the tech student supplied after a moment of contemplation. Shiro only had one small cat, so Matt's mind had gone to the small bags of pet food and litter, not the enormous 50lb bags of food his family always got for their dog. That left him in confusion when Shiro bypassed all the small bags and went straight for the big ones.

"Uhhhh, which one was it…" Shiro mumbled to himself, looking over the bags of cat food on the shelf. His eyes scanned over the brand names and pictures printed on the front of the bags until he found the one that looked familiar. Without a word or a hint of struggle, Shiro hefted the bag onto his right shoulder, then crossed the isle to the cat litter and picked up a second huge bag, which he tucked under his left arm against his side. When he turned to look at Matt, he was met with wide eyes and lips parted in surprise.

"Oh," was all Matt said, the word slipping from his mouth as he gazed at the man in front of him with a mixed look of surprise, confusion, and slight disbelief. Shiro simply tilted his head as he mirrored Matt's confusion, taking a moment to realize that most people didn't casually carry 100lbs of pet food and litter around a store. The aviation student shrugged awkwardly.

"It's not that heavy to me," he pointed out, glancing at his arms to make his point. It was as if Matt was noticing for the first time that Shiro was quite a large man with large muscles, someone who could easily handle a few bags of pet supplies.

After a moment, Matt's face broke out into a smile. "You're like my sister. Well, no, not really. She's tiny, but she's freakishly strong. Like the Hulk. Just, y'know, smaller," the boy explained, stumbling a bit on his words. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out the best way to get his point across. "Not like She-Hulk, because my sister is seriously the tiniest teenager I've ever seen, but like, yeah. Kind of like if Bruce Banner has the Hulk's strength without actually turning into the Hulk" he rambled, looking up to see if Shiro understood what he meant. Matt was met with an eyebrow raised in amusement, and he chuckled lightly. Just like that, the awkwardness was gone again.

"Sounds like she's quite a character," Shiro guessed with a smile as he began walking to the registers at the front of the store. Matt grinned.

"You have no idea. She's terrifying. Some classmates of hers were being asses last year, so she hacked into their phones and played themes from different kids shows on them during class," Matt explained, shaking his head. "I wasn't there to hear it, but I got to read about it in a newsletter sent to all the students from the school asking that they 'refrain from watching videos in class, especially with the volume on, so they wouldn't distract other students with Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, Caillou, and Sesame Street."

By the time he finished, Matt was barely suppressing laughter.

"I mean, neither of us care what other people watch. Like, if some fourteen year-old wants to watch Dora or Spongebob, sure, whatever. Pidge would never do it to make them get judged by others. Everyone in her class knew it was her and wouldn't actually think those kids were watching what they consider 'dumb kid shows'. That was just her way of showing them that she won't let them walk over her, and it worked. They haven't bothered her since," he added, taking a breath to calm himself, though his grin remained.

"Remind me to never get on her bad side," Shiro joked, a smile on his face. Matt nodded, still smiling.

"That's pretty hard to do, actually. I'm sure you'll be fine," the tech student assured, though there was something off about his tone. Shiro couldn't quite place it, but he didn't feel he should pry, so he kept his mouth shut.

"I can't say the same thing about Keith," Shiro commented, an older memory of his brother coming to mind. "When he was in elementary school some kid took his favorite pencil, and in retaliation he brought a screwdriver to school the next day and took all the screws out of the kid's desk during recess. When the class came back from inside and the kid sat down, his desk crumbled to pieces. He didn't get hurt, but the class got a good laugh at him."

"Ouch. Did your brother get caught?" Matt asked. Shiro shook his head.

"The kid knew Keith did it and told the teacher, but Keith hid the screwdriver in his shoe, so the teacher didn't find it when she searched his desk and bag. I found it when he got home, though. I was going to make him own up to it, but I found out that the school was thinking of expelling the kid who did it for vandalism. I kept quiet, but made Keith swear not to pull something like that again," he explained.

"Did it work?"

"He hasn't disassembled any desks since then, but he still gets back at anyone who wrongs him. He's a bit of a hothead," Shiro said, thinking about the previous year when he pressured Keith into admitting that he'd cut the straps on some other guy's backpack for calling Keith's friend Hunk fat.

Matt nodded.

"Pidge doesn't typically get physical like that because it's easier to get caught. It's easier for her to erase her footprints after hacking than to hide a pair of scissors or a screwdriver, especially now that schools have security cameras and can catch a person in the act," the tech student pointed out.

"Yeah. Keith got busted by a hallway camera once for stealing some girl's phone and throwing it in the trash while she was in the bathroom. It was an incident with few consequences, though. He only got written up," Shiro recalled.

"I guess we both have some interesting siblings," Matt decided when he and Shiro finally reached the front of the store. They stepped into the shortest line they could find, then waited for those ahead of them to go through their transactions.

"I can't disagree with that," Shiro said.

A few minutes later the pair shuffled forward when the customer directly ahead of them finished paying for their things. Shiro set down the bag that was under his left arm first, making sure the barcode was on the cashier's side, then he set down the second bag on top of it. The cashier scanned both bags, then read off the total. Shiro pulled out his wallet, handed over a few bills, took his change, put his wallet back, then hurried to pick up the bags again. Once he had one settled back on his shoulder and the other back under his arm, he scurried forward a few steps to move out of the way for the next person. Matt followed a step behind him, eyes on the ceiling, lost in thought.

As Matt and Shiro exited the store and headed to Shiro's car, Shiro started shifting the bag in his left arm up a little more to pin it between his side and bicep so he could grab the handle on his car to open the door to the backseat. He was saved when Matt jogged ahead and pulled open the door for him. For a moment, Shiro worried the silence between them might have Matt uncomfortable and caused him to retreat to the backseat to put more distance between them. However, Matt didn't get into the car. Instead he held the door open and looked at the bags in Shiro's arm, causing Shiro to nearly sigh in relief. 'He's just opening the door for me because my hands are full. Way to overreact, Shiro," the man thought to himself. He gave Matt a thankful smile and dropped one bag into the backseat, then the other, then stepped back out of the way as Matt pushed the door shut. Shiro circled around to the driver's side while Matt pulled open the passenger door and dropped into the seat. The two buckled their seatbelts and the car rumbled to life.

The ride back to the university was silent, the laughter they had shared on the way there only a memory. The two had fallen into yet another lapse in conversation, unsure of what to talk about. To avoid eye contact, Shiro kept his eyes glued to the road, and Matt stared out the window. They both stayed that way until Shiro pulled into the parking lot at his dorm and killed the engine, leaving him without an excuse to look anywhere but at Matt. The tech student was in a similar situation, no longer able to pretend the scene outside his window was interesting. Hesitantly, the two looked in each other's directions, putting on small smiles for one another.

The quiet didn't last much longer though, interrupted when Taylor Swift's 'Blank Space' blared from Matt's pocket. Shiro startled and whipped his head down to look at Matt's side as the tech student turned redder than the fire engine-colored truck parked a few spaces to the left of them. The boy dug around in his pocket until his fingers found his phone, and as he pulled it out he frantically tapped the 'accept call' button in an attempt to shut off his ringtone.

"Hello? Oh, hey dad."

Shiro tensed, feeling like he was intruding. Not wanting to open his door and make a lot of noise, he pulled his own phone from his pocket and pulled up Keith's contact.

"Nothing really. I just went to Kronners with a friend."

Shiro suppressed a smile at being called 'a friend,' a phrase that hadn't been used to describe him in years, as he started typing up a message.

"No, we just got back."

Shiro tried to focus on his message, pushing his brain to think about what to ask Keith. How was school going? Had he and Lance gotten sent to the principal for fighting again recently? How was work? They were all busy questions that Keith hated and typically wouldn't answer unless Shiro prodded some more, but he was looking for a way to distract himself so he wouldn't feel like he was eavesdropping on Matt, not to start a conversation with his brother, who was likely still in school.

"Whenever is fine, I think. Professor Rift won't let me work on the tech this weekend because I've spent all my weekends this semester there when I wasn't scheduled to work. He's got Cyprus in there to fix the tech and keep me out."

Shiro couldn't think of anything to type, his mind drawing a blank, but he felt stupid just staring at his phone.

"Mhm. Okay. I'll meet you at the IT Center."

Shiro quickly typed something up.

 **Shiro: What's up?**

Hoping Keith was on his phone at that exact moment and would respond, Shiro stared at his screen.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, dad. Bye."

Matt ended the call and looked over at Shiro, who looked at old texts from Keith and pretended they were new for a moment to make Matt believe he'd been distracted the entire time. The day had been awkward enough at times, and Shiro didn't want to make it worse. After a few seconds, Shiro hit the power button on his phone and slid it back into his pocket.

"My dad just called, and he's picking me up in a few minutes at the IT Center. Do you need help getting the bags inside before I go?" Matt asked, polite as ever even though his tone betrayed slight awkwardness.

Shiro unbuckled his seatbelt, opened his door, and stepped out. Matt followed suit.

"Don't worry about it, Taylor," Shiro teased, causing Matt to redden and put a hand on his face.

"Ohmygod I did it for the meme!" the boy claimed, his voice slightly muffled. Shiro just laughed.

"Yeah, okay."

"Really!"

Shiro took a breath to stop his chuckles, but his smile didn't fade.

"Go ahead and go so you can get home and tell your sister about your evil friend who teased you about your meme ringtone so she can hack my phone and play the Wonderpets theme while I'm in class," he said, his tone light and playful. Matt shut his door and crossed his arms.

"Ooooooh it'll be so much worse than that. How about My Little Pony?" Matt suggested. Shiro raised his hands to his face in mock horror.

"Noooo! I'm not a Brony! Anything but that!"

The two broke down into laughter, holding onto the car for support. Shiro was the first to sober, as his laughter slowed and stopped when his eyes landed on Matt's face. The boy's eyes were squeezed shut and his face was split by a wide grin as he laughed, leaning on one arm against Shiro's car while the other was wrapped around his waist to hold himself up. The sight turned Shiro's grin into a soft smile, and since he didn't want to risk getting caught trying to sneak a picture, he burned the image into his mind. It had been a long time since he'd seen someone look so happy because of him.

Matt soon calmed down, and his shoulder heaved as he drew in deep breaths. He looked up to see Shiro's eyes on him, and it just made him smile wider. The two were locked in a moment, a rather common occurrence in the past week. They had gotten much closer in just a span of eight days than either of them would have thought possible, and both of them were beyond delighted about that. Despite the fact that they both had things to do and places to go, neither of them wanted to leave. They could have stayed that way for ages, appreciating the friend had found in each other, but the world didn't stop for anybody.

"I should go before my dad calls again. I don't need to torture you with Taylor Swift again," Matt said, nodding in the direction of the IT Center. While he didn't know where Shiro's dorm was located relative to the IT Center, he did know which way led to the cafeteria and which direction the IT Center was in from there.

"Alright. Watch out for bikes and joggers," Shiro told him, aware that Matt could get lost in thought and easily be run over by either.

Matt laughed and turned, setting off for the IT Center.

"See you later, Shiro," he called over his shoulder, a smile still on his face. Shiro gave him a small wave, then watched Matt's retreating back. In less than twenty seconds, he was already obscured by the trees.

-000-

Ten minutes later, Shiro was back in his room. It had been a little difficult getting both bags out of his car, shutting the car door with his feet, locking the car while the hand holding his keys was also holding the cat food, passing the doors of his neighbors while hoping none of them would open one in his face, unlocking his door with half a hand, opening the door with half a hand, and squeezing through the doorway with the load he carried. He'd ended up leaving his dorm door open as he carried the pet supplies into the room with the litterbox, then returning to grab his keys and shut the door. He then had refilled the food and litter bins and completely cleaned Eurus's litter box. After that was all done, he'd walked into his bedroom and stopped.

Without a word, Shiro pulled off his gloves and dropped them on his dresser before going over to his bed and flopping down face first. After a moment, he felt Eurus jump up on his back. She was quick to lay down between his shoulder blades, rendering him completely immobile. Once Eurus laid down somewhere, she decided when she would move, even if she was laying on a person. If she was comfortable and someone moved her without a good reason, she didn't let them get away with it.

"Did today actually happen, Eurus?" Shiro asked, folding his hands under his chin and turning his head to look back at his cat. She just stared at him for a moment, then began licking her paws. Shiro sighed. "It's been years since I've had a good conversation with anyone who isn't you, Keith, or Keith's friends. It was also actually kinda nice to get to complain about the little things to someone like we're stupid kids who aren't putting up with any of the big stuff," he admitted, subconsciously glancing at his right arm. "Sure, I've talked to Lance and Hunk about stupid stuff a few times before, but they know too much. They know all about my arm, what happened to my team, what happened to Keith and I. I know they try to hide it, but they both tend to get expressions of pity sometimes when I talk to them, especially if the conversation is related to everything that's happened. It was just nice to talk to someone who has no idea what happened to me and doesn't look at me like I'll shatter if they say the wrong thing."

Eurus pushed herself further up Shiro's back until she was curled up at the top of his shoulders, then she laid her head down at the base of his neck.

"I just like having Matt around. Sure, there were quite a few awkward silences, but… He's so kind and he doesn't pry. He doesn't point out my scars, doesn't ask why I wear long sleeves when its boiling hot outside, doesn't ask why I wear gloves all the time. Instead of being intimidated when I picked up 100lbs of food and litter like it was nothing, he started telling me about how strong his sister is. Instead of asking what I meant by 'financial circumstances' when we were talking about why we both get meals free, he started asking about pets and showing me pictures of his dog. It's insane how little he seems to care about how I look and how much he loves talking about the people and things he cares about. I mean, I'm sure he could go on for hours about his dog, or his sister, or his work at the IT Center. He's just… I don't know…" Shiro trailed off, dropping his head on his hands.

Matt was different than everyone else Shiro had met at the college. Unlike the others students, he wasn't rude to Shiro or put-off by his appearance, and he didn't ignore him or dislike him. Unlike the professors, he wasn't kind to Shiro out of pity or because he was a good pilot and student. Matt was something else, and while Shiro couldn't think of the words to explain it, he could sum it up in just one sentence. He had only known Matt for a few weeks and had only been out with him a handful of times, but he already felt that Matt was the closest, most genuine friend he'd ever had. Shiro could only hope it would stay that way, and that he wouldn't screw up and lose it all.

That single thought made Shiro's heart freeze, and all his joy from the day was drained in an instant. What was it one if his English teachers in high school said about friendships? They're like books. They take years to write, but seconds to burn. One screw-up can make love turn to hate. One misstep could make Matt decide he didn't want to hang out with Shiro anymore. One is all it takes.

'One wrong move that I'm too good at making,' he thought. To him, that was the crushing reality of the situation. Any false step could set fire to the book that they had just started writing, turning it to ashes and dust, and Shiro would be back to square one. He'd finally made a friend, been called a friend, and that left him more vulnerable than he'd been since years ago when he'd had his team.

Despite it being just 4pm, Shiro was exhausted. His thoughts were draining, and he wanted to escape them. A run wouldn't help him; he didn't have the energy. This wasn't some nightmare he'd just woken up from. This was a nightmare come to life that was chasing him, lingering in the back of his mind and making him afraid. Even though nothing bad had happened yet, that didn't mean it wouldn't and his anxiety wasn't planning to let him forget that. He couldn't escape that fear, not even as he drifted into the dark recesses of sleep.


	13. Half a day Off

A/N: Hey guys! I was planning to do a double post in a span of a week or two, then possibly another double post soon after as I will have a few free days with no projects during which I can write. I'll try to make that happen, but there's always a chance that things might come up.

Anyway, the main reason I posted this chapter now is to make an announcement concerning season 7. I did not see the first episode, though I did see all the spoilers posted about it. That being said, do not finish reading this note if you wish to avoid spoilers, though I promise this chapter itself is is spoiler free and by the time the story isn't, s7 will have already been released. Warning aside, I'm here to tell you that this fic WILL continue despite the introduction of Adam for multiple reasons. One is that they aren't currently together, the second is that we know Shiro IS interested in men, and the third is that regardless of what happens in canon, fanfiction exists because people see something and think, "well what if THIS happened?" The point of fanfiction is writing about something you wish you could see happen even if you know it won't. The creators might have said Lotor is gone, but that doesn't mean no one can write about him anymore. The same thing goes with Shiro being in a relationship with someone who isn't Adam. I will say that I personally do ship Adam and Shiro, I think it's adorable, but I also still ship Shiro with Matt and personally don't care what happens with those relationships as long as Shiro stops suffering. I also do plan to include Adam in this fic, and he will probably play a large role in how Shiro fears what people think about his mental illness. I don't know if Shiro's physcial illness, which is what broke them in the beginning, will be included though. I'm not sure how I would include that, as the end of this fic is already planned, though I may consider putting it into any fics I write in the future

To sum it all up, I WILL write this fic until it is finished, even if Shiro and Adam get back together. After all, it's not like Avengers fans stopped shipping Black Widow with other people once she got into a relationship. Fanfiction is meant to deviate from canon, so this story WILL continue and I will probably write other fics about Shiro and Matt in the future, as well as Shiro and Adam. I've seen that a lot of fan-made content for Shiro/Matt has died out since the introduction of Adam and it makes me sad to see it, though I do not plan to do the same. Even if no one reads this fic anymore, it will continue until it is finished.

Thank you to those who have kept up so far, and even if many of you decide to drop the story, I am glad you enjoyed what I have put out so far and hope someday you may come back to finish it once it is complete.

* * *

Three days after the trip to Kronners, Shiro woke up to his alarm blaring. He grunted, rolling over and pulling on the edge of his pillow so it slid out from under his head and landed on top of it. Though unfortunately for him, it did nothing to block the obnoxious screams coming from his phone.

With a sigh, Shiro rolled over again and poked his head out from under his pillow so he could see as his hand groped around his nightstand in search of his phone. Once he had it in hand he swiped across the screen to shut off the alarm, then had to fight the urge to close his eyes and go back to sleep. It took enormous effort, but he was soon out of bed and headed for the kitchen in search of something to eat while rubbing the bleariness from his eyes.

Shiro had spent to the previous two nights texting Matt, leaving him with less time to sleep. Time seemed to fly when he talked to the tech student, and suddenly 10pm was 2am and Shiro was hit with a wave of exhaustion. Luckily, he'd been able to sleep late the previous morning, as he had no classes on Tuesday, but Wednesday wasn't the same. He had his aviation class early in the morning at 8am, meaning he had to be awake by 7 to have time to shower, feed Eurus, clean up, find something to eat, then make the trek to the aviation building that wasn't exactly close to his dorm. Shiro had also been up much later the night before, as Matt had gone oddly silent until almost midnight, then made up for lost time by texting until almost 3am. Despite that, Matt had seemed very awake throughout the conversation as if it was taking place in the middle of the day. Shiro wondered if maybe Matt had taken a nap, though he didn't feel it was his business to ask, so he didn't.

Yawning for the fifth time since he woke up, Shiro grabbed two granola bars from his cupboard and ventured to the room with Eurus's things. Her water bowl had hair in it, and her food bowl was almost empty. How she'd managed that, Shiro didn't know. Instead of pondering it, he replaced the water and began to wrestle with the bin containing cat food as Eurus circled him, rubbing her face and sides against his legs for attention. Shiro filled her dish and scratched under her chin with his left hand momentarily as his right scooped up food, then left her to eat as he headed for the shower.

After a quick, cold shower, Shiro was finally awake. His tuft of white hair was a mess of knots that his comb refused to detangle, but he simply put it off as he dressed in his aviation uniform and searched for a clean pair of gloves. He'd met up with Matt a lot recently, and even in the past two days during which they had been unable to meet, Shiro had been busy with classes, catching up on work, and calling Keith to see how the teen was doing in school. That left him with little extra time to do things like laundry, which he has procrastinated in favor of keeping up on his daily workout. Unfortunately, he was in rather dire straits. Nearly all of his clothes were dirty, including all but one pair of gloves, and even his aviation uniform was uncharacteristically neglected. He didn't have too many clothes, but there was enough that he might have to run two loads of laundry at the laundromat, which was always full. There was no telling how long it would take, though Shiro knew he wouldn't have enough time to see Matt once again.

With a sigh, Shiro pulled on his last pair of gloves and returned to the challenge of combing out his hair. It took longer than usual, setting him behind to the point that he nearly forgot his shoes and was left jogging out the door once he was finally ready to leave.

-000-

To Shiro's disappointment, Instructor Holt was nowhere to be seem when class began. Instructor Con said nothing, leaving Shiro and the rest of the students without any idea of where the man was. The man might have been a new presence in the class who they'd only known for about a month, but he was kind and very popular with the students, perhaps because he was there to offers tips and support, not grade them like Instructor Con.

The absence of Instructor Holt affected the class in many ways, as Shiro soon came to see. With Holt available, two students could go in the air at once, as long as it wasn't a test day since only Con could do any kind of grading. The students got nearly twice as much flight time as usual, a somewhat rare occurrence in that semester so far due to rain, clouds, fog, and other bad weather that made flying hazardous. However, without Holt, they were back to the typical one-at-a-time flights. The result was that each student slotted to fly that day only got about twenty minutes of flying in, and the last few in line were cut off by a malfunction in the landing gear that made landing uncertain and dangerous.

With flying off the table and Con preoccupied with trying to find the issue while waiting for one of the professional mechanics working for the university to arrive, the class was left with a boring worksheet to do until class was over. The worksheet contained diagrams of engines from different models of planes, diagrams of the exterior of entire planes, and diagrams of the entire interior of planes. Each diagram had at least ten blank lines with arrows pointing to specific places that students were to identify, then write down the name in the corresponding blank. The top of the worksheet also specified very clearly that the paper was to be completed as homework if students did not finish before class ended. With only an hour left in the class and half a dozen diagrams to get through, most students took advantage of the lack of an instructor in the room and got out their phones to pull up the diagrams and fill them in using the internet. They all finished within half and hour and left early, but those same people were the ones who would struggle during the written exam and when they reached the real world, where they needed to know how every plane they flew worked.

By the time class was over, Shiro was one of the few students who remained. The class wasn't very large already, being a third-year class, but without those who had cheated on their homework there was barely a half dozen students left. Like Shiro, the remaining students valued hard work and strove to put forth effort, a rare quality amongst people. All of them would have homework for the night, but they were also the people who Shiro knew for sure he'd be seeing in the fourth-year class next year.

Packing up, Shiro made a note on his phone to bring his homework to the laundromat when he went so he could work on it while waiting for his clothes. There wasn't much else to do as he waited, and after seeing someone steal a washer by opening it when the person using it left, removing that person's clothes, putting their own in, and using the remaining time for their self, Shiro didn't dare leave his machines unattended to go do something else.

With a single glance back at the classroom, wondering once again where Instructor Holt could be, Shiro headed to his next class.

-000-

It was the moment he stepped out of the aviation building that Shiro got the email. It came as a surprise, last-minute email from a professor who always notified students of schedule changes at least a week in advance; English was cancelled.

Shiro stopped dead in the doorway, extremely confused as to why a professor notorious for holding class even when weather made the most stubborn professors cancel would possibly cancel a class so last minute when the weather was fine and flu season had not yet struck.

The answer, as it turned out, was quite simple. Like many others who lived in the area and made loads of money every year, the professor lived in a rich neighborhood surrounding a large, beautiful lake forty minutes from campus. The drive was never too bad, but the distance was too far to walk, and taxis and buses were a rarity in the town the university resided in. For the professor, that meant car trouble spelled the end of class. Lucky for the students who didn't want to go to class that day, the trusty suburban the professor drove decided it was time to break down the minute the professor turned the key in the ignition. With no means of transportation and less than an hour before class was meant to start, the professor had no choice but to cancel.

A smile crept across Shiro's face as he realized he would actually have some free time that night. Even if Matt was busy with the IT Center, a strong possibility as he spent most of his off-time working there, Shiro would have time to relax. He could finally watch one of the movies he'd been putting off until his schedule cleared up, take another trip to the store to buy some real groceries, or even just take the long nap he'd been craving since the semester began.

With his mood lifted, Shiro's stress began to melt and his tense muscles began to loosen. He was finally starting to feel calm, a feeling that had hovered just out of reach since Matt left after his and Shiro's trip to Kronners just days ago. Anxiety over classes was starting to build as midterms approached, and as Shiro and Matt's friendship grew, Shiro worried more and more about what could happen if Matt found a part of Shiro that he despised and decided Shiro wasn't a friend he wanted or needed anymore. Of course Matt had shown that he wasn't nearly as shallow as others Shiro had encountered, looking past Shiro's appearance and getting to know him as a person instead of ignoring him since he was different and 'strange' like others did. However, kindness had limits. Matt knew little about Shiro beyond his interests, his cat, and the fact that he had a troublemaker for a brother. He didn't know about his arm, about the nightmares and memories from his time in the military that brought him instability anyone would find hard to manage. He didn't know how sometimes even the smallest things could send Shiro back to his time in captivity and cause him to isolate himself from the world, or lose himself to fear and panic. Just because Matt was friendly and didn't seem to have any problem with how Shiro's appearance was different than the average person didn't mean he'd be fine with how Shiro's _mind_ was different. It didn't mean he'd be able to manage Shiro's episodes when they came along, or that he would even want to try.

Mental illness was a big part of Shiro's life, as well as his younger brother's. Some people just didn't know what to do when an episode of anything struck, even if they wanted to help, worried they might make it worse. Shiro wouldn't blame Matt if that was what it came down to, but he didn't want to lose this wonderful, genuine person he had managed to stumble upon in his chaotic life to something he couldn't control and couldn't quite fix. The very real reality that he could was what scared him more than Matt disliking him and leaving him because he wanted to, rather than because he was worried he'd hurt him and felt like he had to.

Pushing the negative thoughts from his mind before it could leech away his calm and call back his stress, Shiro pulled out his phone to check the time. It was just past noon, and he had the rest of the day. If he got back to his dorm and brought his clothes to the laundromat quickly, there was a chance it would be empty enough that he wouldn't have to stand in line. Shiro decided he'd plan on doing that, getting the essentials done early and leaving him with more free time later in the day. That way he'd have more time to decide what to do with it, and could even see if Matt was done working by then.

Smiling to himself again, Shiro was lost in thought when the door he was walking past suddenly opened and someone ran into him. Whoever it was, they were much smaller than him, bouncing off his side and falling to the ground with a stifled, choked yelp of pain.

Yanked from his thoughts, Shiro stopped and looked down, taking a breath to slow his racing heart after being spooked by the sudden contact. However, the breath caught in his throat when his eyes landed on the unfortunate victim of the collision, who was slumped over on the ground, cradling a heavily-bandaged forearm.

The person on the ground was none other than Matt.


	14. How About a Movie?

A/N: I was gonna update literally two weeks ago and completely forgot! I'm sorry! Anyway, I've actually been very busy recently, thus why I forgot to post. HOWEVER, in my free time I'm working hard to get ahead quite a bit with the story. I just recently finished the timeline for it, and can say that the turbulence these two will face will soon be upon us. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and stick around for more :)

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACK AND DISCUSSION OF PTSD

-For the panic attack, skip the first six paragraphs. That is where the panic attacked is described.

-The PTSD discussion ends before the first bold line. To skip it, start reading two paragraphs before the first bold line

* * *

Shiro's eyes widened in surprise at the sight, and while he wanted to help, he couldn't stop himself from recoiling when his eyes properly took in the bandages wrapped around Matt's arm, so similar to how Shiro's own arm had been on the day not too many years ago when he had finally woken up…

Panic seized Shiro's heart, and his back was suddenly uncomfortably warm. His lungs didn't seem to expand, not letting in as much air as he needed. It made Shiro's head feel light, and he started to sweat. Those memories he had tried so hard to move on from were returning to the surface.

Meanwhile, Matt was still on the ground. With his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched, he sucked in one breath, then two, unaware of who he had just run into. He held his right arm carefully, trying to will away the pain as he moved to stand. However, his arm bumped his knee as he tried to get up and sent a fresh wave of pain through him. He let out a quiet, pained hum, pressing his lips together to keep himself from making too much noise.

The sound reached Shiro's ears, stealing all of his attention. It grounded him, returning to him enough control that he was able to step towards Matt and crouch in front of him.

"Matt? Are you okay?" Shiro asked, his voice still strained and shaky. If Matt asked about it later, he'd play it off as only worry over Matt's condition rather than a mix of that and Shiro's own internal panic.

Matt didn't respond right away, his eyes still closed and his face tensed and aimed at the ground. The tech student's silence made Shiro worry more, and he clung to that feeling as he tried to focus on Matt and the situation at hand in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts.

After a moment, Matt let out a breath and finally opened his eyes. He looked up at Shiro with a forced smile, but winced. It wasn't until he turned away from the ground completely that Shiro noticed why.

A gauze pad was taped to Matt's left cheek, a white rectangle beneath his cheekbone. Whatever was beneath it couldn't be less than stitches if it required more than a simple bandage.

"Sorry about running in to you," Matt said, though Shiro nearly missed it in his shock. When the younger man moved to stand once again, Shiro found himself jumping to his feet with a hand on Matt's uninjured arm to guide him up. The contact was much more than the usual accidental bumps and brushes that occurred when they walked side by side, and on any other day Shiro would have felt awkward and pulled away. However, at the moment, awkwardness was the last thing on Shiro's mind.

The two stood where they were for a moment, Shiro unsure of what to say or what to do while Matt was preoccupied with looking over the bandages on his arm to make sure they hadn't torn or moved when he fell. It wasn't until someone walked through the same door Matt had exited through, nearly colliding with the pair, that Matt nodded toward the sidewalk and began moving. Shiro followed after him, getting out of the way as he and Matt moved to a nearby pond. The two walked out onto the small deck that reached out over the water, giving students a view of the life in the deeper parts of the tiny body of water. Settling against the railing, Matt leaning on his left side and facing Shiro with his body as he looked out at the water, neither of them spoke.

It wasn't until Matt subconsciously grabbed at his bandaged arm again, pulling it close and holding it gingerly, that Shiro finally spoke.

"Are you alright?" he asked for the second time that day. Unlike before, when Matt had been on the ground, the boy nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks for stopping to help," he replied shortly, his gaze not leaving the water. His lips twitched as if he wanted to say more, but he didn't, and Shiro didn't pry. He didn't feel it was his business to ask if Matt wasn't readily offering to answer.

The two lapsed into silence again, neither speaking or moving, instead standing like statues as the gentle breeze ruffled their hair and clothing. The moment was peaceful, so much so that Shiro found his earlier panic receding. He glanced at Matt's arm again, breathing in slowly as he reminded himself that the bandages only covered Matt's forearm, that the younger man's upper arm and hand were perfectly fine, and the arm was not, in fact, Shiro's. He told himself it wasn't that day all over again, that those days were behind him, and that Matt was hurt and needed a little bit more attention than Shiro was giving him. Usually, those kinds of thoughts would only work to an extent and Shiro would end up shutting himself in his bedroom until he finally calmed down completely. However, it seemed that day was a good day, because he found himself able to look at Matt's arm without being completely overtaken by anxiety. It made him uncomfortable still, which was unavoidable, but it was progress.

A group of loud students passed by the pond, and Shiro found himself frowning as he took a step toward Matt. The boy took notice, and put together what Shiro was thinking before Shiro realized it himself.

"It was an accident," Matt said, glancing over at Shiro to give him another one of those forced smiles. He swung his gaze back toward the water, leaning on the rail a bit more as he took a breath and continued. "I was helping my mom make dinner last night, and Bae Bae got into the kitchen. She was trying to get into the food while I wasn't looking," he began. "She jostled a pot of boiling water and knocked my cutting board off the counter. I dove to catch it before it hit the floor, and some water from the pot sloshed over and spilled on my arm. It burned me pretty good. I probably would have been alright, but I'd left my knife on the cutting board. It got flung in the air when Bae Bae pulled the board of the counter, and it fell on when I dove and sliced my cheek." Matt let out a choked laugh that sounded more pained than anything. "Just my luck, right?"

Shiro said nothing, not sure of how to respond. If it weren't for the very real bandages on Matt's arm and the gauze taped to his cheek, Shiro might not have believed it. He still almost didn't believe the story, which seemed too crazy to be real, but one glance at Matt's face told him the boy was being completely honest. Shiro had been worried that maybe someone had hurt him, a far-too-common occurrence in the world they lived in. While he was glad that wasn't the case, he still felt horrible.

"My mom took me to the hospital for stitches and to have the burns looked at, so we couldn't finish making dinner. She ended up just bringing pizza home. My sister was pretty happy about that, since she didn't like what we had been making, though she seemed a little upset about the reason for it. Usually she'd make a few jokes, but she didn't really say anything," he recalled. "Maybe she was tired. We didn't get home with the pizza until really late, anyway," Matt finished, though at that point he seemed to be talking more to himself than to Shiro.

Shiro stared, wondering why Matt had been thinking of his sister when he'd just had boiling water splashed on his arm and a blade go through his cheek, and found himself speaking before he could think to stop himself.

"Why didn't you just let it fall?"

The question was one any average person would have asked, though Shiro regretted it the moment he said it. He knew from personal experience that people had reasons for the things they did, even if they were strange, and it was horribly rude and invasive to ask. He'd been working on keeping out of the private business of others, but after years of not being close enough to someone to get exposed to any kind of private business, his filter wasn't quite working yet.

Matt shook his head. "I couldn't. The cutting board would have made a lot of noise when it hit the floor, and even could have shattered," he pointed out. He paused for a moment, his features relaxing into a somewhat sad expression. His voice went soft and quiet when he spoke again. "My dad was in the next room watching the news. Small noises from the kitchen wouldn't bother him, but that… He was in the military for a long time. He didn't ever get hurt too bad, at least not physically, but he left with plenty of invisible scars. He's gotten a little better over time, getting used to civilian life and all, but he has post-traumatic stress disorder. He's been working on it a lot, trying to get better, but… that's not something that just goes away after taking a few pills and a long nap."

Shiro nodded, knowing all too well that Matt was completely right.

"He's got a lot of things he has to avoid, one of the biggest being sudden loud noises. The cutting board falling and shattering would easily be enough to trigger it, so I caught it to make sure that wouldn't happen. Sure, it sucks that I got a little burned and cut up, but I'd do it again. He was worried when he found out what happened, but I'd rather see him worried than see him lock himself up in the bedroom and go through everything alone. The things he has to manage… it's really hard on him. If there's any way I can help at all, I won't hesitate to do it."

Shiro internally punched himself a dozen times as he listened to Matt's explanation, understanding on a very personal level just what the young man meant. It eased his anxiety to know that Matt was familiar with veterans and the struggles they faced, that he actively tried to help his father instead of keeping his distance and leaving the man to manage his recovery on his own. It warmed his heart that Matt was an even better person than he knew, though he couldn't help the new flower of worry that blossomed within him as he thought over what he'd just learned a little more.

Since they moment they'd first collided that day, Matt had barely made a sound despite his pain. Only after hearing the context did Shiro realize that Matt had been actively trying to stay quiet, likely a habit he had developed out of courtesy to his father. Matt had already done his father a huge favor, but had gone the extra mile to ensure his father's safety over his own. While that was beyond kind, it was also worrying. Shiro couldn't help but wonder if, someday, Matt might get hurt and be unable to call for help after years of teaching himself to keep quiet. He didn't even want to think of the possible outcomes, none of them good. The thought made him want to tell Matt to worry more about himself, but knowing the younger man, he was too kind and selfless to do so.

"Anyway, everything's good now. My arm should heal after a week or two if I keep using the ointment I was prescribed, and the knife thankfully didn't go all the way through my cheek. It'll probably scar, but I don't really mind," Matt said, his tone back to the light one that Shiro had grown familiar with over the past month.

The sudden 180 Matt pulled nearly gave Shiro whiplash, but he could recognize when someone was looking to change the subject, so he didn't fight it. Instead he pulled out his phone to check the time, finding that just about ten minutes had passed since they collided.

"Well, uh, I gotta do some laundry, but… If you want to hang out for a bit once you're done with your work and classes today, I'm free," Shiro offered, recounting that doing laundry was no longer an option, but he'd have free time later. It had been a few days since they had done anything, and Shiro was hoping to spend some more time with his friend before the nearing midterms hit and they were both swamped with studying.

Matt smiled. "Actually, when Professor Rift saw my arm he sent me home early," the tech student explained. "He told me I needed to rest, since I was having a hard time moving my arm and holding tools anyway. I've got the rest of the week off work, and only have to go to my classes. I don't have any more classes tonight though, and I won't be going home until later in the evening, so whenever you finish your errands just let me know and I'll meet up with you," he offered.

Shiro nodded. "Um, yeah. Sure."

Matt flashed Shiro another reassuring grin, this one far more genuine than the previous two, and Shiro couldn't help the smile it brought to his face. The aviation student promised to contact Matt soon, then ran off to get to his dorm quickly. He was moving fast, excited for later that day when he'd be able to hang out with Matt again. If it weren't for his severe lack of clean clothes, he would have put laundry off even more. Though since he couldn't do that, he opted instead to just go as fast as he could.

On his way out of his dorm, a backpack and drawstring bag stuffed with clothes slung over his shoulders, Shiro felt his phone buzz. He pulled it out and found a message from Matt. It contained a screenshot of a movie poster and showtimes for the day at a theater just down the road. Oddly enough, it was one of the new movies Shiro had been looking forward to. Pulling his door shut behind him, Shiro scanned over the showtimes in search of the one he thought would be best.

 **Shiro: 4pm?**

It was a minute before Matt responded, catching Shiro just as the aviation student slid his car key into the ignition.

 **Matt: See you then**

Shiro smiled, dropping his phone on the passenger seat next to his bags of clothes as he buckled up. In his excitement, he nearly ran over the curb, but that wasn't even close to enough to wipe the grin from his face. At the moment, he doubted anything was.

-000-

Shiro's luck continued when he reached the laundromat. Just as he had hoped, barely half of the machines were occupied. There was no waiting, a rare occurrence in the only laundromat within twenty miles of the university.

Hoping to finish quick, Shiro quickly loaded up a washer with clothes and detergent, inserted a few coins, and started the machine. He then leaned back against it, crossing his ankles and relaxing into a more comfortable stance as he pulled out his phone and waited.

For the first ten minute of waiting, Shiro scrolled around online. However, it wasn't long before he found himself opening his contacts and clicking Matt's.

 **Shiro: Have you read any of the reviews for the movie yet?**

The text was sent without Shiro even thinking, his mind lost to random thoughts as he awaited a reply, which came in less than a minute.

 **Matt: Nope**

 **Matt: I don't trust people to leave out spoilers**

 **Shiro: Fair point**

 **Matt: The director has made a lot of good stuff so I think this one will be good too**

 **Shiro: I hope so. Tickets are almost as expensive as buying the movie when it's released on DVD**

 **Matt: Yeah but like no one buys DVDs anymore**

 **Matt: Unless**

 **Matt: Shiro**

 **Matt: Do you still buy DVDs**

 **Shiro: Sometimes? If it's good and I have extra money I will**

 **Matt: Omg yyyy**

 **Matt: That's what pirate sites are for**

 **Shiro: That's illegal**

 **Matt: Only if you get caught**

 **Shiro: They have tons of viruses**

 **Matt: Not if you have an anti-virus**

 **Matt: Or if you know how to get rid of them**

 **Shiro: Is that even possible?**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt: Are you really asking me that question**

 **Matt: Are you sure you're not like 90**

 **Matt: Because you sound like my grandma**

 **Shiro: I'm not a Computer Science major**

 **Matt: Neither is my sister but she can do that stuff in her sleep**

 **Shiro: Your sister is a genius child who can hack into phones from across the room**

 **Shiro: Which, also, how is that even possible**

 **Matt: Fair point**

 **Matt: Its easier than you think**

 **Shiro: Yes, and my brother has never gotten into a fight**

 **Matt: Whatever you say grandma**

 **Shiro:**

 **Shiro: Grandma has to go move clothes from the washer to the dryer**

 **Shiro: Don't get a virus while I'm away**

 **Matt: If I ever get a virus from a pirate site I'll eat my shirt**

 **Shiro: I'm holding you to that**

 **Matt: Mmk**

Shiro snorted quietly as he pocketed his phone, shaking his head at his friend. Where Matt had gotten the shirt-eating idea from, Shiro could never guess, but he thought it would be an amusing attempt to witness.

Smile still tugging at the corners of his lips, Shiro opened up his washer, cringing as he picked up the first bundle of wet clothing and tossed it into the nearest dryer. He hurried through the task, hoping the water wouldn't soak through his sleeves and get the metal in his arm wet.

When the last of Shiro's clothes had been moved, he started up the dryer and resumed his previous lean against the machine. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and pulled up Matt's contact again, opening the conversation.

 **Shiro: Get any viruses yet?**

Matt responded almost instantly.

 **Matt: Yep**

 **Matt: Swimming in viruses**

 **Matt: Whatever shall I do**

 **Shiro: Its funny until it actually happens**

 **Matt: Well that must be why I always find it funny**

 **Shiro: Does that mean next time I get a virus I just have to give my computer to you, and you'll fix it?**

 **Matt: You could**

 **Matt: But that thing is ancient**

 **Matt: Idk how it's still running**

 **Shiro: I'll make sure I buy a new one next time I win the lottery**

 **Matt: I'd say same but I just got myself a new one recently**

 **Matt: IT work pays well**

 **Shiro: Unfortunately being a student does not**

 **Matt: Tru**

 **Matt: If I didn't have my scholarships I'd probably be working at McDonalds right now**

 **Shiro: If I didn't have my scholarships I would probably have been hit by a bus leaving work at McDonalds at 3am by now**

 **Matt: Same**

 **Shiro: ?**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt: Do you ever go on social media**

 **Matt: And are you SURE you're not 90**

 **Shiro: I mean I look like I'm 90, but no, I'm not**

 **Matt: Nah you look pretty young**

 **Matt: You're just built like a tank**

 **Shiro: Thanks :l**

 **Matt: Of course ;)**

 **Matt: Though speaking of tanks**

 **Matt: The main dude in the movie we're gonna watch**

 **Matt: His biceps are literally the size of my head**

 **Shiro: Yeah**

 **Matt: How is that even possible he could probably bench a car**

 **Matt: Could you bench a car?**

 **Shiro: I can't say I've ever tried**

 **Shiro: Nor will I**

 **Matt: I'll eat my shirt**

 **Shiro: Okay where did you get that idea from**

 **Shiro: Do you actually want to eat your shirt or something**

 **Shiro: Should I be concerned**

 **Matt: You need to go on the internet more**

 **Matt: I'm making you a Tumblr**

 **Shiro: What's a Tumbler?**

 **Matt: Omg**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt:**

 **Shiro: ?**

 **Matt: Grandma**

 **Shiro:**

 **Matt: After the movie I'm teaching you about social media**

 **Matt: If only my sister wasn't busy she knows more than I do**

 **Shiro: Does your sister have one of those, uh, Tumblers?**

 **Matt: Its TUMBLR no e**

 **Shiro: Why?**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt: I'll explain later**

 **Shiro: Good timing**

 **Shiro: My dryer is almost finished**

 **Matt: Finish up with you clothes grandma**

 **Shiro: Respect your elders**

 **Matt: :p**

 **Shiro:**

 **Shiro: is this 2010**

 **Matt: :0**

 **Matt: :000000**

 **Matt: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE A GRANDMA**

 **Shiro: I have a younger brother with very extroverted friends**

 **Shiro: So I know a few things**

 **Matt: So that's how you've survived this long**

 **Shiro: Are you sure its not because I am, as you said before, 'built like a tank'**

 **Matt: I mean that only helps if you get hit by a bus**

 **Matt: Or need to carry pet food**

 **Shiro: What if you're stuck somewhere and need to move heavy objects to clear a path out**

 **Matt: In that case, I, someone built like a spaghetti noodle, would simply slip through the cracks in the rubble**

 **Shiro:**

 **Matt: I win**

 **Shiro: I don't think that would work**

 **Matt: Of course it would**

 **Shiro: I think you watch too many movies**

 **Matt: And that's why I would survive**

 **Shiro: You do realize those are all set up in a certain way so that things that would be impossible are possible**

 **Matt: Of course**

 **Matt: Doesn't mean it would 100% not work tho**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt:**

 **Shiro:**

 **Matt: -_-**

 **Matt: If you're gonna make me fix your computer viruses then next time I get stuck behind a large pile of heavy debris I'm calling you**

 **Shiro: Sure**

 **Matt: Wait**

 **Matt: Isn't your laundry done**

 **Matt: The machines at laundromats kinda suck**

 **Matt: One of the other IT guys left his clothes in a dryer for an hour after it finished and everything shrank**

 **Shiro: Shit**

Shiro pocketed his phone and turned just as the dryer rumbled to a stop, making him exhale in relief. He'd never had the time to stand around after his clothes finished, always getting dirty looks when he took even one extra second to open and unload the machine after it finished its cycle. Due to that, he didn't know if he would suffer the same fate as the unnamed IT student. However, his wallet could not handle the financial burden that would come with buying all new clothes if he ever tried to find out.

Despite not needing to rush, Shiro found himself unloading his dryer as fast as ever. He folded his clothing quickly and efficiently, filling up his bags with neat stacks in mere minutes. He was walking out of the laundromat with his bags slung over his shoulders in less than five minutes, checking the time to make sure he could make it back to his dorm to drop off his things without needing to rush to the theater. With about an hour left until the planned meeting time, he was in no rush. Though for some reason, he was driving a few miles over the speed limit on his way back to the university, thankfully never encountering any cops.

-000-

Ten minutes before 4pm, Shiro pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. He was earlier than planned, having dropped off his things in his dorm and left again in record time, only stopping to double-check Eurus's food and water and scratch under her ears. He was early to many things though, having made a habit out of it during his time in the military. For a fighter pilot, tardiness could change everything.

Entering the building, Shiro scanned the lobby for a familiar head of sandy hair. He looked once, then twice, but didn't see Matt anywhere, so he moved to a bench in the corner and sat down. Shiro pulled out his phone and opened up his conversation with Matt, checking for new messages before sending his own.

 **Shiro:** I'm here

Shiro clicked the power button and set his phone down on his lap, glancing up to look for Matt again. Instead of finding the IT student, he discovered a few people staring at him, some whispering to each other. It made him drop his gaze, tugging subconsciously on his sleeves and gloves as if his right arm was exposed to the world. While he knew it wasn't, he felt like it was under the weight of the gazes of others.

As he grew anxious, Shiro found himself fiddling with his phone. He would pick it up, turn it on, type in his passcode, turn it off, turn it back on again, set it down, pick it back up, type in his passcode again, pull up his conversation with Matt, scroll through the recent messages, turn the phone off, set it back down, pick it up, and continue on and on. He didn't go out often, spending a lot of time either at home or in isolated areas. He drew stares wherever he went, and even after a few years of it, the discomfort he felt never faded.

As if the universe had noticed his suffering, a distraction was quick to arrive. Someone walked up to his table, standing there without saying anything as they waited for Shiro to take notice. When he did, Shiro smiled.

"Hey, Matt."

Shiro stood, pocketing his phone as Matt nodded toward the counter. The two headed over to the lines and stepped in at the end, waiting to buy their tickets.

"Good thing the ads last a solid twenty minutes. The line is pretty long and they look a bit understaffed today," Matt pointed out, going up on his toes to see the counter through the snaking line of people.

Shiro nodded in agreement. "I didn't even think about getting in line when I got here. I should have gotten the tickets sooner," he said with a sigh.

Matt shrugged. "Next time."

Shiro found himself stiffening, his eyes widening a fraction at Matt's words. Sure, they had officially established their friendship already, but the way Matt talked about the future so casually, so sure their friendship wouldn't crumble anytime soon, was very foreign to Shiro. It had been a while since someone had spoken to him like that, and he realized very quickly that the warmth the words left behind went a great way toward taming the cold of isolation that had settled within him.

The pair waited in silence, Matt on his phone as Shiro glanced between him and the counter. Slowly, the line inched forward until they were at the front, then waved over to a register.

Shiro nudged Matt with his elbow and nodded toward the register. Matt slipped his phone back into his pocket and followed Shiro over, stopping just behind him to wrestle his wallet out of his pocket.

"Could we get two tickets for Fallout, please?" Shiro asked, wallet already open and in hand. The woman behind the register nodded, typing something into the tablet on her register. A moment later the tickets were printing, and Shiro was handing over $25.

As Shiro stepped away from the register, pocketing his wallet, Matt spoke. "I could have paid for that myself."

Shiro shrugged. "You were having trouble getting your wallet, especially with your arm hurt, so I can cover it for you today," he pointed out.

Matt frowned, but after a moment he sighed in defeat.

"Fine, but I'll pay for your ticket next time."

Shiro stiffened once more after hearing those words again. 'Next time' wasn't something he was familiar with, and hearing such a strong, confident pair of words that defined a good future used twice in less than half an hour was a bit unnerving to him. He didn't know what to say or what do. Instead, he decided to shrug vaguely and not give a real response.

The pair made there way to their auditorium, opening the doors to find the room packed to the brim. The sheer number of people made Shiro wince, and had he been alone, he would have turned around and walked out. However, he was with Matt this time, and the IT student was quick to plunge in and search for seats. Shiro followed, crossing his arms tightly and hunching his shoulders in an attempt to make himself smaller and avoid touching people.

Matt eventually located two seats next to each other in a row near the front, but reaching them required walking past a group of people who had claimed the end seats. The idea made Shiro wince yet again, as he absolutely _hated_ being in such close proximity to people. The way his legs brushed their knees as he tried to maneuver his hulking mass of a body down the row left him extremely uncomfortable, and it only got worse when the people looked up at him and stiffened upon seeing his strange tuft of white hair and the long, pink scar that stretched over the bridge of his nose. The way they leaned away from him just a little more than necessary, moving on instinct as their brains recognized Shiro as something different, something they should avoid, filled Shiro's chest with ice.

Once the pair reached their seats and sat down, Shiro exhaled deeply. He let his eyes slip closed momentarily, focusing on relaxing his muscles and calming his racing heart as the voices from the dozens of other people in the auditorium filled his ears and sent his anxiety skyrocketing.

A sudden weight on Shiro's left arm made him jump, his heart skipping a beat. He leaned away on instinct, hid head whipping to the side as his eyes searched for the culprit. Shiro found himself staring at Matt, who was looking at him with a concerned expression, his hand hanging in the air where it had been on Shiro's arm before the older man pulled away.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked, looking at Shiro's widened eyes.

Shiro sighed, slumping back in his chair. His arm brushed Matt's hand again when he moved, though Matt dropped his hand the instant it happened.

"Yea, I'm fine. There are just a lot of people here," Shiro admitted, running his hand over his face as if that would wipe away every visible trace of his anxiety.

"Oh. Do you need to leave? We can always come back at another time when it's not as busy," Matt offered, putting his hands on his arm rests as he prepared to stand.

Shiro waved a hand in the air dismissively, shaking his head. "No, no. I'm fine," he assured, though he was lying through his teeth. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to go somewhere that wasn't so crowded, and he could feel his nerves humming with adrenaline.

While Shiro had been in crowded places before and been just fine, such as when he went to the cafeteria at the university or the laundromat in the evening when half the campus was there, there were some places he couldn't stand. Those other places he was fine in had more than one door leading in and out, were well-lit, and he wasn't surrounded by people who were an inch away from him. He could move around instead of being stuck in one small seat for two whole hours, pulling his shoulders in so he wouldn't touch the people at his sides. On the other hand, any concerts, movies, games in any sport, or any other large gathering of tightly-packed people were all too close for comfort. Shiro avoided those situations as often as possible, though it wasn't as if he had the money to go do much anyway. All he could actually afford out of all the places he didn't like was the movie theater. However, movies had multiple showtimes for multiple days, leaving him with the option of finding a time where the movie he wanted to see wasn't quite new anymore and not busy at all. That's typically when he would go, as there were rarely more than a dozen others in the auditorium with him.

On any other day, Shiro never would have gone to a movie just days after its release. However, he'd been excited to see Matt again, and it hadn't even struck him that the movie they were going to see was from a popular franchise and would likely be packed. The thought made Shiro mentally kick himself for not thinking.

Loud, dramatic music pulled Shiro from his thoughts, and he looked up to see the movie starting. The sounds of others in the auditorium were drowned out, and Shiro felt instant relief. While he knew there were still dozens of others in the room, not being able to hear them made him feel less cramped and anxious. There was also something for him to focus on, and sure enough, the movie had all of his attention after just a few minutes.

However, to Shiro's misfortune, he found himself zoning out by the halfway point. The movie had started out great, capturing the attention of the entire audience. However, as it continued, the quality dipped. By the halfway point, it was rather clear that the franchise would have been better off ending with the previous movie. The plot was boring, and the main character was too generic. No one was looking for another movie with some steroid-pumped white guy running away from explosions and kissing the one and only woman in the movie who had more than four lines because he'd suddenly captured her heart. No one cared when she nearly died, but was saved by the main character at the last last minute. There was none of the creative flair from the movie's predecessors.

A little before two-thirds of the way through, Shiro felt something touch his arm again and looked over at Matt, expecting to hear him complain about how horrible the movie was. Instead, he found himself looking down at closed eyes and a relaxed face.

Matt was out cold, slumped in his seat with his head against the back of his chair. It lolled to the side, tapping Shiro's arm whenever he twitched or moved in his sleep.

Unsure of what to do, Shiro simply stared. Did he wake him up, or did he just let him sleep? Matt had been excited for the movie, but it was garbage and not worth the time it took to watch through the end. Matt had also been up very late the previous night due to his accident at home and probably needed the sleep.

In the end, Shiro decided to leave Matt alone. His body tensed as he struggled to not move an inch, worried he might bump into Matt if he moved and wake him. He continued watching the movie, hoping it would recover and have a high-quality ending, only to be further disappointed. Having lost all interest in the movie, Shiro went back and forth between watching it and glancing at Matt, who slumbered on.

Once the movie ended and people began to clear out so the ushers could clean, Shiro lifted a hand to carefully tap Matt on the shoulder. He didn't wake up. Shiro frowned and tried again, this time shaking him gently. Matt stirred, but his eyes didn't open.

As the number of people in the auditorium dwindled, Shiro was running out of ideas. He didn't want to be loud and draw attention, and he couldn't shake Matt too much without possibly agitating the burns on the boy's forearm.

With the ushers glaring at them for not clearing out, Shiro grabbed Matt's shoulder and shook him gently, then used his other hand to lightly pat the uninjured side of his face as he called his name.

"Matt." No response.

"Matt." Still nothing.

"Matthew!" he called just slightly louder. It seemed to do the trick, because Matt moved and his eyes blinked open.

"What…" he mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes. When he looked up again, his eyes scanning the auditorium and coming to rest on Shiro, they widened, and he jumped upright. "SHIT I FELL ASLEEP!"

Shiro smiled, suppressing a chuckle.

"Don't worry. It sucked," he assured. Matt sighed.

"Yeah, true. Before I fell asleep it was already pretty trash. Did it not get better?"

"It got worse as it went on," Shiro stated, getting to his feet.

Matt nodded and stood, rubbing his eyes again as he walked toward the end of the row. Shiro followed, the two of them hurrying past the ushers who finally were able to start cleaning.

In the lobby, Matt stopped at the drinking fountain. When he finished, he wiped the water from his face with his good arm and turned to Shiro.

"Sorry about that. The movie was pretty boring and I didn't sleep much last night. I'm also taking painkillers that make me feel like I just pulled four all-nighters in a row," Matt explained, gesturing to his cheek and his bandaged arm.

Shiro nodded. "Yeah, I understand," he assured, though he didn't explain himself. He didn't quite feel like sharing the more complicated details yet.

The pair left the theater and stood outside, where Matt called his dad for a ride. Once he was done, he turned to Shiro.

"Well, even if the movie sucked, it was nice to get out. Text me next time you're free, and we can see about a movie that's better," Matt suggested. "I'll try not to fall asleep during that one, too."

Shiro smiled, nodding. "Yeah, sure. And do you want me to stick around until your dad gets here?" he offered, looking around. It was nearing 7pm, and while it wasn't dark yet, the sun was dipping closer and closer to the horizon. Shiro didn't feel right just leaving Matt by himself, even though Matt was an adult capable of taking care of himself.

"That's alright. He'll be here soon. Besides, if he sees you he'll start asking a bunch of questions. I don't hang around people much outside the tech center, so my parents always get curious about the few things I spend a lot of time on that aren't computers," he joked.

Shiro nodded, but still didn't want to leave. "Well, I need to call my brother to make sure he's staying out of trouble, so I'll be over by my car for a while if you need anything."

Matt gave Shiro a smile that Shiro returned before heading for his car. Once he got there he pulled out his phone, tapped the screen randomly a few times, then put it up to his ear. He had just called Keith a few days ago, and didn't have any reason to be doing it again. The only two reasons for his actions were Matt's discomfort about Shiro being around when his dad arrived and Shiro's unease about leaving Matt on his own.

"Hey, what's up?" Shiro said to literally no one, figuring he should put on a good show in case anyone saw him. He didn't want to seem like some creepy old dude staring at a rather small and weak-looking young man standing alone on the sidewalk. The last thing he needed was to get arrested, as he could potentially lose his scholarships and be forced to drop out of college.

Shiro kept his eyes on Matt as he continued his fake conversation, walking around the front of his car a few times as if he was absentmindedly wandering while talking. He kept up this act until a car pulled into the parking lot and slowed to a stop next to Matt.

Running over to the passenger side and opening the door, Matt waved at Shiro before getting in. Shiro returned the wave, then wrapped up his fake conversation as the car pulled away. Once they were gone, Shiro pocketed his phone and dropped into the driver's seat of his own vehicle. Taking a tired breath, he buckled up, turned the key in the ignition, and headed home.

-000-

Upon reaching his dorm, Shiro was feeling tired enough to go to bed. He was behind on sleep, and a few extra hours didn't sound too bad. However, as he picked up items that he'd thrown sloppily around the room in the past few days when he was in a hurry, he came across his homework. He'd left it on his nightstand so he would remember to do it, though he internally cursed himself for forgetting to bring it with him to the laundromat as he had planned. He honestly had no interest in it at the moment, though as a responsible student who always did his work, he had no choice but to complete it.

After finishing his cleaning and checking to make sure Eurus had food, water, and a clean litter box, he sat down on his bed with the homework and a pencil. It took him a few hours and a couple frustrated sighs to finish it, and once he did, he stuffed it a little too aggressively into his bag. The lack of sleep was catching up to him, and he was starting to feel a bit cranky.

With a little under eight hours until he had to get up in the morning, Shiro rushed through his nightly routine and dropped gracelessly onto his bed. He didn't even bother with any blankets despite the chilly October air, closing his eyes and calling for sleep to claim him. Shiro was so tired that he didn't even have the energy to check his phone when he heard it chirp on the nightstand, already half asleep.


	15. DAD!

A/N: Surprise update! I'm supposed to be doing homework, but the site the college uses has gone down for the 4th time since classes started about three weeks ago. I figured I'd update while I wait for it to be fixed, because I honestly don't know when else I might do it. The semester has just started but between work and school I leave my house at 6:30 in the morning and don't get home until anywhere from 8:30-9pm four days a week. Then I have a week's worth of homework from two AP classes, a regular high school class, and three college classes that I need to get done in the little free time I have on Fridays after school and Sundays before work, then whatever I can fit in on Saturdays. Yes, I am busy, and yes, I understand that some of you may believe I should stop complaining and go on hiatus or drop writing for the semester, but I really enjoy writing this story and the comments I've received always make my day. I can't be sure when I'll publish, whether it's in one week or three, but I'm doing what I can to make sure I keep writing this story. It probably will still be going even after Voltron itself comes to an end in November, but I hope you guys will still stick with it.

So thank to everyone who has read this story, whether you found it just after I posted for the first time and have stuck with it ever since or if you just found it yesterday and decided to give it a chance. I appreciate each and every comment, reader, and kudos I have received. I hope you will all continue to enjoy this story as it continues and stick with it until it comes to a close.

* * *

Throughout the next two weeks, Shiro and Matt texted often. They didn't meet up to do anything besides eat lunch on the weekends, Matt under strict orders to be careful with his cheek and arm as the bandages had soon been removed. Sure enough, the mark on Matt's cheek had left behind a scar, though thankfully his arm made a full recovery.

"Well, I guess we kind of match now," Matt pointed out while he and Shiro ate their lunch on the third weekend of the month. He gestured at Shiro's nose, tracing the scar that stretched across it in the air with his finger before doing the same with his own.

"Well I hope not," Shiro blurted, his mind on the many other scars that crisscrossed his entire body.

The comment caused Matt to pause, his head tilting slightly in confusion as he stared at Shiro. It made the older man panic, and he waved his hand dismissively as he tried to backpedal. "I just mean that my scar tends to uh, kind of intimidate people. I'd hope that yours doesn't have the same effect. It can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations, and people aren't always very nice about it," he explained, digging his grave deeper with each word. He was slapping himself internally with every syllable, willing himself to just _stop talking immediately please_.

Matt frowned. "Really? It's just a scar. I mean, I guess if people are wondering how you got it they might come up with something strange, but… I don't get what the big deal is. I mean, anything can leave scars, not just traumatic events or deadly situations," he pointed out. He then gestured to his own face. "Case in point. Dog, plus food, plus knife, equals ow."

Shiro couldn't help but chuckle at Matt's words, which he found both funny and assuring. He had never really known exactly what Matt thought about the scar on the bridge of his nose, and it was nice to know that he really didn't mind it at all. It calmed one writhing tendril of anxiety within him, bringing just the slightest bit of relief.

"That's true. My brother's friend has a scar on his leg from when he was petting someone's dog and it stepped on him and scratched him pretty good. I've heard some of the explanations he comes up with to make it seem like he got it doing something badass, and they're all pretty bad," Shiro admitted.

The two continued talking, finishing their food and dumping their trash before going outside. They headed toward the IT Center, as Matt was working that day, talking casually about whatever as they had been. Their friendship had grown much more comfortable as they hung out more, and when they texted until the early hours of the morning their exhaustion loosened the anxious filters on their minds and made any conversation easy. Conversations that might have once been awkward were casual and smooth, and sharing strange thoughts and stories had made them feel more comfortable talking to each other about almost anything.

In front of the IT Center, they stopped and turned to face each other.

"So, do you want to go do something now that you're healed?" Shiro asked. He felt anxious offering to make plans, knowing he would feel horrible about rejection even if it was for a good reason. Thankfully, Matt nodded.

"Sure. What do you wanna do?" he asked. Shiro froze. He hadn't expected that he would get this far.

"Uh, I mean, is there anything in particular that you want to do?" he asked, dodging the question. He hadn't come up with any ideas, his mind occupied with going over the simple line 'do you want to go do something' over and over out of fear that he would stutter or misspeak.

"Hm." Matt bit his lip as he thought, and Shiro found himself staring. He quickly looked around to avert his gaze, hoping Matt wouldn't catch him and think he was being creepy.

After almost half a minute, Matt finally spoke. "How about…. Ice skating?"

Shiro stiffened, well aware that he had never gone ice skating once in his life and would probably end up falling more than skating.

Matt seemed to pick up on Shiro's sudden tension, because he put his hands up and backpedaled. "I mean it's fine if you don't want to. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I used to go a lot with my mom and little sister. It was really fun, but we don't have to…" he trailed off, talking quickly. It was then Shiro's turn to backpedal.

"No, that sounds good. I just, uh…. I've never actually skated before. I'm not sure that I'd be any good. You might end up dragging me off the ice after I manage to knock myself unconscious from falling so many times," he explained awkwardly, feeling his face heat up in slight embarrassment.

Matt smiled. "Oh, that's fine. I can teach you!" he offered excitedly.

"S-sure," Shiro agreed, answering before taking any time to consider. Matt's expression was full of excitement, and it made Shiro accept the offer before he could even think about declining, not that he would have been able to. There was no way he could have shut Matt down when he looked that happy.

"Great! Okay, uh, I'll look up the schedule and send it to you. Just let me know when you're free, and we can find a time," Matt explained, pulling out his phone. Shiro nodded.

"Okay, but, uh, don't forget about your work. I don't want your professor to get mad at me for distracting you," the older man joked. Matt shook his head.

"He wouldn't get mad, though I do need to go now. I'll talk to you later!" he promised, eyes still full of light as he jogged toward the building, scrolling on his phone with one hand while using the other to open the door.

Shiro watched Matt go with a small smile, then once the young man was out of sight, he headed for his dorm.

-000-

Tuesday morning, Shiro found himself parking at the local civic center. He entered the building hesitantly, then sighed in relief when he noticed that the ice rink was straight past the entrance. There was one room in front of it with the rental counter, lockers, and benches, then a wall of windows and a set of double doors that lead to the rink.

Looking around, Shiro was relieved to find that Matt had beaten him there. The younger man was in the middle of tying on his skates, and he looked up when Shiro approached.

"You're here!" he exclaimed, knotting his laces before getting to his feet. Shiro nodded, then rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked around.

"There are kind of a lot of people, isn't there?" he asked.

Matt looked around, his eyes scanning over the room as he took in the number of others. There was just over a dozen.

"Nah. It's really busy in the winter, though. All the rentals sell out and the ice is so crowded that they pull people off after they've been out there for a while. This is nothing," he explained, gesturing to the others in the room.

Shiro nodded, then approached the rental booth to get skates. He returned to the bench Matt had just been occupying and sat to put the skates on. He began tying them like normal shoes, but then Matt shook his head and knelt down, holding out his hands. Confused, Shiro hesitantly handed the laces over.

Matt started at the front, pulling the laces tight in every spot before he reached Shiro's ankle. He then crisscrossed the laces, pulling them tight as he looped them around the hooks on the sides of the boots. They were so tight that Shiro didn't think he'd be able to move his ankles at all, but Matt started to explain how tighter skates made control much easier, and Shiro was thankful for the help.

Once Matt finished tying both of his skates, Shiro looked down at the blades. His own were simple, a single blade extending from the bottom of the boot to the ground. However Matt's were different. They had holes in the blade, and the front edges were serrated.

"Why are they different?" Shiro asked, gesturing to the boots.

"Yours are hockey skates. They're easier to use, and the blades are simpler. Mine are figure skates. They have toe picks in the front for jumps and other tricks, but anyone who isn't used to them tends to catch the picks on the ice and trip," Matt explained, pointing at the blades as he spoke.

Shiro nodded, then followed Matt as the IT student headed for the rink. The room was chilly, and Shiro already knew that it wouldn't be long before his arm started to hurt. While he was wearing his usual gloves and long sleeves, they wouldn't offer much protection to the metal in his flesh.

Matt lead Shiro to a short door that led to the ice, and stepped into the rink as if he were going for a walk. He moved away slightly, then turned and waited for Shiro with a smile on his face.

Nervously, Shiro put a hesitant skate on the ice, then tried to step forward. His foot slipped immediately, and he grabbed the wall next to him to stay upright. In front of him, Matt started laughing, and Shiro felt heat rush to his face in embarrassment.

"Come on. You won't be able to learn if all you do it stand there holding the wall," Matt teased, sliding backwards effortlessly.

Shiro attempted to follow, but only ended up slipping again. Too far from the wall, he ended up sprawled facedown on the ice. He could hear Matt laughing quietly again, but when he looked up the IT student had a hand extended to help him up. Shiro accepted it, and attempted to get to his feet. He slipped again when his skate touch the ice, but Matt was there to steady him as he worked his way to his feet. Once he was standing, he brushed the ice from his clothes and looked to Matt for help.

"Okay," Matt began, widening his stance. "Make sure your feet aren't together, or it'll be hard to balance, though they shouldn't be more than shoulder length apart or your skates might slip and make you regret being alive."

Shiro edged his feet a few inches apart, holding his arms out to the sides as he fought to stay balanced on the thin blades.

"Now, when you move, you don't move like you're walking," Matt explained, turning around so his back was to Shiro. "Watch my feet. You push off back and out, leaning most of your weight on your other foot. The one that you push off with doesn't even need to leave the ice. You can slide it back up to the front foot, then switch and push off with the other. You just kinda go back and forth, and you'll eventually be able to build up enough speed that you can just coast."

Matt pushed off, giving an example and he effortlessly skated away, getting faster and faster as he looped back around and stopped in front of Shiro. "Now you try."

Shiro took a breath, then tried to move just as Matt had instructed. Unfortunately, he leaned forward too much and lost his balance. He fell onto the ice again.

After getting up, Shiro was preparing himself for trying to skate again, but he stopped when the view of his skates was obstructed by two hands. He looked up to see Matt holding out his hands, palms up.

"I won't be able to catch you if you fall, but I can help you at least try to keep your balance," he offered.

Shiro nodded, then hesitantly reached out to grab Matt's wrists. Matt did the same to him, and Shiro closed his eyes for a moment and hoped that Matt either couldn't feel the metal through the cuffs of his gloves and shirt or believed the strange cold and hardness was due to the temperature and bony wrists. The younger man didn't say anything, so Shiro figured he might not have noticed.

With the anxiety over his arm shoved into the shadows of his mind, Shiro tried to push off and move forward. He succeeded once, then twice, though he was only on his feet because Matt was steady enough to help hold him up. Unfortunately though, his foot soon slipped and he tumbled. Just as Matt had predicted, he could not keep Shiro from falling, and the older man ended up back on the ice.

For the next hour, Shiro slowly learned how to skate with the patient help of Matt, who quite literally helped him every step of the way. Shiro fell a lot, but eventually reached the point where he could skate on his own. He wavered and slipped, his movements far from graceful, but he could do it. He was getting quite proud of himself, and found himself smiling.

Just a few minutes before the open skating ended and the rink closed for the zamboni, Shiro and Matt were skating side by side when someone flew past Shiro and knocked into him. The other person managed to recover and keep moving, but Shiro was an amateur who didn't stand a chance. He fell forward and to the side. Matt reflexively attempted to catch him, but the falling mass that was Shiro proved to be too heavy a load for him to handle. The pair fell, Matt about to be crushed under the weight of Shiro.

Afraid of hurting Matt, Shiro stopped flailing his arms in an attempt to stay upright and grabbed his friend, twisting them at the last second so they fell on their sides, Matt's head protected by Shiro's good arm and his fall broken. Unfortunately, that caused Shiro to take the full impact. Unlike when he'd fallen before, he could not break his own fall with his hands or shield his head with his arms. He landed hard on the ice, his vision blanking momentarily.

For a few seconds, Shiro couldn't move. His side ached, and he knew he'd have some impressive bruises in an hour. He felt Matt move next to him, sitting upright and changing position so he was kneeling next to Shiro.

"Shiro? Are you okay?!" Matt asked, slightly panicked.

Shiro sighed, fighting to at least sit up so Matt wouldn't worry as much. His hand went to the side of his head, rubbing a tender spot gently as it throbbed.

"I'm fine. What about you?" he asked, looking Matt over. He couldn't see any bruises, but he also knew they wouldn't appear for a while.

"You broke my fall, so I'm fine. I think it might be a good time to call it a day, though," Matt suggested. Shiro nodded.

The two got to their feet, Shiro struggling due to the pulsing ache from his side. People were staring at them, so they tried to move fast. However, Shiro couldn't go too fast with his lack of skating experience, and he was slowed even further by his injuries.

Once off the ice, Shiro quickly returned his rentals and waited outside for Matt. The younger man emerged with his phone in hand, closing a call.

"My dad will be here soon to get me, so you can go," Matt explained, his eyes on the ground. "Sorry about today. We don't have to go again."

"What do you mean?" Shiro asked, genuinely confused.

Matt's head flew up as he turned to look at Shiro, his expression lost.

"You fell quite a bit, and that last fall was pretty bad. Didn't that bother you?" he questioned.

Shiro shook his head, then smiled as he lifted his hand to grab Matt's shoulder.

"I had fun, really. I'd love to go again," he assured.

Matt's eyes widened in surprise, then his face split into a small grin. He nodded, and Shiro felt warmth flare in his chest despite the cold that lingered somewhat painfully in his right arm.

"Oh that's him," Matt said suddenly, glancing past Shiro and locking his eyes on an approaching vehicle. It slowed to a stop a safe distance away, and when Shiro turned to look, he was blinded by the light of the sunset and couldn't see inside.

"I'll text you later, Shiro!" Matt promised, jogging toward the car. He opened the door and got in, then Shiro smiled and turned to head for his own vehicle.

Despite the way his side ached, Shiro was happy. The day had been great, and he actually did have fun. He was looking forward to skating with Matt again, and hoped it would be sometime soon. In the meantime, he decided it might be a good idea to look up some tutorials.

-000-

The next day, in his aviation class, Shiro found himself fighting yawn after yawn. He hadn't slept well the night before, and class that day was in the classroom. The students were studying rules and regulations from the federal aviation administration, all of them reading through enormous packets containing up-to-date information.

Unlike the other students, who had never flown a plane outside of class, Shiro was well versed in the rules and regulations. He always skimmed for new and updated rules when the class was tasked with looking them over, but he knew all of the other ones. That meant he spent the majority of the hour that they were given to read waiting for the next task.

"Stupid piece of…" Con muttered as he poked at the projector in the front of the room. It wasn't working, and even the students had no idea what was going on or how to fix it. He'd extended the reading time by ten minutes when the timer went off and the projector was not in working order. With the extension reaching it's end, he had made no progress.

The students were starting to get antsy as they waited for their instructors to get the next lesson started, but the class was nearing it's end for the day.

"Well, I can have my son come take a look. He works at the IT Center, so he'll be here in a few minutes. I can't say we'll have this up and running before we're out of time, though," Holt explained, sighing in defeat.

Con was silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed at the projector, then he finally gave in.

"Fine. Class dismissed, but bring notebooks for notes on Friday when this piece of junk is actually working," the man ordered. The students all stood a little too quickly, leaving the room in a hurry as they hoped the projector wouldn't randomly start working again before they made it out the door.

Shiro was the only student remaining less than a minute later, slowly putting his papers and notebook away. He finally let himself yawn as Holt stepped back into the room after calling his son, and the older man raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you okay, Shiro?" he asked, returning to the projector in search of the issue causing the malfunction.

"Yes, sir. I just haven't been sleeping well," Shiro stated shortly. Holt nodded.

"Up all night texting?" he teased, making Shiro stiffen.

"Uh, kinda. I also have insomnia, so its difficult for me to fall asleep. Sometimes I'll just stay up until I'm tired enough to pass out pretty quick," he explained. "Though the texting is a more recent thing. It helps pass the time."

Holt nodded. "I guess. Insomnia can be quite a hassle. Do you not take any medication?" he asked.

Shiro shook his head. "No, sir. A few years ago I was prescribed a lot of stuff, but I could never afford any of it, so I never took anything. My brother's friend did bring me some melatonin once when his mom found out about my insomnia, but I ended up sleeping for nearly twenty hours and missed my shift at work. No one could get me to wake up, so I haven't taken it since."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Holt said with a pinch of pity, returning to his work.

Shiro finished packing his bag and got to his feet to leave just as Con's phone began to ring. The instructor pulled it out and read the caller ID, which made him frown.

"I need to take this call. Shirogane, can you help out Commander Holt?" he asked, though he didn't stay to wait for answer. Instead he stepped out of the room to take the call.

Setting his bag back on his desk, Shiro moved to stand next to Holt. He looked over the projector in search of anything that might have come loose, but he was completely lost when it came to technology. There was nothing wrong with it that he could see.

Shiro's search for any visible problems was interrupted when the door to the classroom opened and Matt stepped in. He had a small tool bag in his hand, likely packed with equipment from the IT Center. When his eye met Shiro's, he started to smile, but he froze when he saw Holt.

Shiro glanced back and forth between the two, then after a moment, his eyes widened and he stiffened. It hit him that Holt had said he was calling _his son_ , and now Matt was there to fix the projector.

"Matt, you're here," Holt greeted, seeming oblivious to his son's shock. "We've been looking for nearly twenty minutes but can't tell why this isn't working," he explained, gesturing to the projector.

Matt didn't move, still frozen at the door. Slowly, his shocked expression turned into a mixture of confusion and surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead he just stared, pointing back and forth between Holt and Shiro.

"Is something wrong?" Holt asked, appearing genuinely confused. He took a step toward his son, concern building within him.

"You have him _in your class?!_ " Matt asked loudly, gaping. Holt nodded, and Matt stared. "And you two _talk?!_ " the IT student continued. Holt nodded again.

"Of course. Shiro is a great student with a genuine interest in aviation and a lot of talent. It's difficult to find someone so dedicated and knowledgeable," the man explained, gesturing to Shiro as he spoke. "Also, I've heard nothing but good things about him from you," Holt added.

Shiro felt a bit embarrassed, though he knew what he felt did not even come close to comparing to Matt's current struggle. The young man's cheeks was so hot that Shiro swore he could feel the heat from across the room, and his entire face looked like it had been painted red.

" _DAD!_ " Matt groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

"What? You two are good friends, aren't you? There's nothing wrong with talking about your friends," Holt stated.

"Yeah, but not when you're parents _actually know the person!_ " Matt complained.

Holt paused. "Didn't I tell you Shiro was one of my students?" he asked.

"NO!" Matt screeched, his voice cracking.

Holt turned to Shiro, who was looking between his instructor and friend awkwardly. "Didn't I tell you Matt worked at the IT Center when I recommended it to you?" he questioned.

Shiro shook his head, not trusting his voice. He feared it would be very high-pitched if he spoke, as his own face had started going red as the conversation progressed.

"Wow. I guess I forgot to mention that," Holt said to himself. He shrugged, then smiled at Shiro.

"Anyway. Shiro, I'm Samuel Holt, Matt's dad. You can just call me Sam if you'd like," he offered, then he paused. "Well, maybe not during class. I don't want the other students to think I'm playing favorites," he said with a chuckle.

"Y-Yes, sir," Shiro stuttered quietly, glancing shyly at the ground as if that would prevent the others from seeing how red his face had gone. Seeing Matt and Sam side by side, he was able to see the resemblance. However, he just couldn't believe that he hadn't picked up on the similar gestures between the two and the traces of Sam that were visible in Matt. For nearly three months he hadn't suspected a thing, which left him feeling like an idiot. His only saving grace was that he only every spoke to Sam about things related to aviation and had never mentioned Matt. Unfortunately for Matt though, it seemed that the younger man could not say he had done the same.

"So, Shiro," Sam began as Matt finally crossed the room to start working on the projector, "I hear you have a cat?" he asked.

Shiro nodded. "Yes, sir. Her name is Eurus."

"Isn't that a Greek god?" Sam questioned, his hand going to his chin as he thought.

"Yes, sir. It was windy when I found her, and I had just read a book with the Greek god Eurus in it. It just seemed fitting at the time," Shiro explained.

"You found her?"

"She'd been abandoned in a dumpster nearby where I worked. I saw her trying to climb out when I passed by. One of her eyes and patches of her fur were missing, and she looked like she hadn't eaten in days. I took her home with me, but I didn't have any cat food or money to buy any, so I ended up giving her milk and some sliced meat. She would rarely let anyone near her for a few weeks, but I came home from work one day to find my brother sleeping on the couch with her asleep on his stomach. I'm not sure what changed her mind, but she was really friendly after that," Shiro said.

"Ah. She must have taken a liking to your brother. Is he taking care of her while you're in school?"

"No, actually. I have her with me in my dorm. My brother is usually either at school or work, so he wouldn't have much time to take care of her. He also goes to his friend's house a lot. Lance's mom keeps an eye on him and make sure he's eating and sleeping enough while I'm not around, or if he's low on money for groceries. It takes a load off of me, since I don't have to worry about him going hungry or being stuck by himself all the time. I don't know what I'd do without her," Shiro explained, smiling fondly as he thought Lance's family.

The McClains were a big family packed in one house, but they always had room and a plate for one more. He could remember the day he'd gone to drop Keith off at Lance's house during the break between the fall and spring semesters in his first year of college. He'd pulled out his wallet and taken out the last of his cash to give to Keith for lunch money, since their odd family situation barred Keith from free lunch despite their low income. Keith had refused it even though he'd run out days ago, and Shiro had to fight him to take it in front of Lance's entire family. After Keith stormed off, followed by Lance and all his siblings, Shiro approached Lance's parents and apologized for making a scene, thanking them for having Keith over. He then asked them to take the money Keith had refused and give it to him after Shiro himself had left, so then Keith wouldn't be able to return it and would have no choice but to use it. Mrs. McClain had grabbed Shiro by the shoulders and told him to keep his money. She then looked him in the eye and spoke.

 _"Don't worry about Keith while you're away. We will take care of him. He will never go hungry, and he'll always be welcome here. A friend of Lance's is a friend of the whole family, and that includes both you and Keith."_

Since that day, Shiro had been far more at ease while he was in school. He trusted the McClains deeply, and would never be able to repay them for their kindness. Keith no longer survived on fast food and pasta off the discount shelf at the store. He was no longer unhealthily skinny when Shiro went home at the end of the semester, and he didn't have to spend every minute of his time out of school at work. Keith no longer had to sit by himself watching reruns on the few basic channels they had on their television, and Shiro had been able to buy himself and Keith reliable smartphones instead of the flip phones they'd had before. The smartphones were the affordable ones that weren't very fancy, but they worked well for the two of them.

"She sounds like a great person," Sam remarked.

Shiro nodded. "She is."

"Well, if you ever run into problems and need some help, feel free to talk to me about it. Matt seems to enjoy having you around, and a friend of his is a friend of the family," Sam said with a friendly smile that Shiro couldn't help but return.

It was those words that Shiro had heard twice now, a very meaningful sentence that warmed his heart and made him feel relaxed. _A friend of their's is a friend of the family_. It was nice to know there were people he could count on, even when he never wanted to burden others with any problems he faced. He'd walk five miles in a snowstorm before he bothered the Holts because his car broke down, or his power went out.

A suddenly yelp of pain drew Shiro from his mind, and he whipped his head around to see Matt shaking out his right hand.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked worriedly, stepping toward Matt.

Matt waved his left hand dismissively, still shaking his right. "Yeah. I just got shocked when I pulled the wrong wire," he explained, looking at his injured hand. He stopped shaking it, then bent his fingers a few times before deciding he was okay and getting back to the projector.

"Did you find the problem?" Shiro asked, approaching the projector and peeking over Matt's shoulder at the mass of wires on the inside. It looked like a messy box full of noodles, and Shiro had no idea how Matt knew which wire did what.

"Yeah," Matt said. "The electricity wasn't getting to the bulb because the wire was bad. But-" he pulled a wire out, dropped it on the floor next to him, then pulled a coil from his tool bag along with various other tools, "that isn't too difficult to replace."

Shiro watched as Matt attached a new section of wire, effortless reattaching everything with practiced efficiency. Once he finished, he grabbed the panel he'd pulled off the top and reattached it, then hit the power switch. The projector came to life, good as new.

"Nicely done!" Sam congratulated, clapping Matt gently on the shoulder. Matt grinned, then started putting his tools away.

Shiro returned to his desk and shouldered his bag, preparing to head out and return to his dorm. However, he stopped when Sam called his name.

"I was going to take Matt out for lunch today, but you're welcome to join us if you'd like. It's not a movie, so I'm sure Matt won't fall asleep on you again," he joked. "He was pretty embarrassed about that when I picked him up."

" _DAD!_ " Matt screeched loudly, hanging his head as his face flushed for the twentieth time in the last ten minutes.

"That movie was pretty terrible. I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep too," Shiro said lightly in return, taking pity on Matt and attempting to make him feel less embarrassed. "But I think I'm good for today. I have to get back and feed Eurus."

Sam nodded. "Alright. It was nice talking to you. Have a good day, Shiro," he said, offering a hand.

Shiro returned the nod and shook Sam's hand. "You too, sir. And it was nice to officially meet you."

Shiro turned and headed for the door, though he stopped just as he pulled it open and turned his head to call out behind him. "See you later, Matt," he said.

Matt waved shyly, his face buried in his free hand. The sight made Shiro smile, and he headed out with a dusting of pink on his cheeks.


	16. Midterms

A/N: Another chapter! Thankfully I've been able to settle into some kind of schedule at this point, so I'm hoping to be able to make the chapters a little longer. I'm sorry my updates are so irregular, but even the routine I've gotten into is frequently interrupted, so I can't make any of the reliable posting schedules I used to use earlier on and for past stories. That being said, I'm always glad to see comments and it's nice to know that there are people who are enjoying this story. So thanks again to all readers, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

At the end of the week, Shiro returned to his dorm in the late evening. His mechanics class had stretched far past its usual hours, as midterms were approaching and the professor had stayed behind after class with the offer to help any students who wished to study and wanted more one-on-one time to discuss confusing or difficult topics. As someone who didn't particularly excel in the field of mechanics, Shiro jumped on the opportunity. Few others did the same, leaving him with plenty of time to go over every piece of material he had questions about without preventing others from talking to the professor.

By the time Shiro had left his class, all the other students were long gone. Shiro and the professor had been the only ones in the room for nearly an entire hour, and while Shiro felt bad for keeping the professor so late, he was also very grateful for the help. His professor was a kind man, and Shiro felt quite comfortable in his presence. Without any classmates staring at him or whispering to each other in the background, Shiro was able to focus much more than usual. It made a huge difference, as Shiro was able to pick up the information he had previously struggled with far quicker than he did in a normal class session.

In his dorm, Shiro carelessly dropped his bag next to the door, walked to his bed, then flopped down on it face-first as a wave of exhaustion struck him. It had been a long week, partly due to the more intense pace within the classroom that professors always incorporated the week before midterms. Shiro had also spent a few late nights studying when he wasn't doing homework or texting Matt, so he was more behind on sleep than usual.

As if the mental exhaustion wasn't bad enough, he was suffering through a bit of physical pain as well. Just as expected, his fall while skating with Matt earlier in the week had taken its toll. His entire left side was smattered with bruises, painting his shoulder, hip, and knee a dark brown-purple color. His ribs had dots of green that trailed all the way down his side to his ankles, and there were a few bruises on his left arm where it had struck the ice while shielding Matt. Worst of all were the bruises on the side of his head, ones he could feel the tenderness of just by setting a gentle finger on it.

None of his injuries were anything a few light painkillers from the store couldn't help, but they were still a bit of an inconvenience. They had affected his sleep because he couldn't lay on his left side even when no other position was comfortable enough for him to drift off, and he'd winced a few time while moving heavy objects in his classes to the point that Con had stopped to ask if he was okay.

Without the energy to even kick off his shoes, Shiro contemplated simply letting sleep take him as he was. It was a Friday, meaning he didn't have to worry about any homework yet, and he still had the next two days to study for his midterms on Monday. He didn't have any plans for the night and didn't intend to make any, seeing as it was almost 10pm. Eurus wasn't begging for food, so she likely had enough to last until the morning.

Shiro was still deciding when he felt something in his pocket. At first he was unsure of what it was, though when he felt it again he recognized the source. With enormous effort, Shiro shifted slightly to the side in order to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, turning his head a fraction so he could see the screen. In his notifications were texts from none other than Matt.

With a newfound rush of energy, Shiro propped himself up on his elbows and unlocked his phone to read the texts.

 **Matt: Hey are you still awake?**

 **Matt: Cypress had me pick up her shift at the IT Center today so she's gonna cover my shift tomorrow**

 **Matt: So if you wanna hang out or study for midterms I'm free**

 **Matt: Well I mean only if you want to**

 **Matt: I just thought I'd ask**

Shiro smiled, beginning to type.

 **Shiro: Sure**

 **Shiro: When do you want to meet?**

Matt responded almost instantly.

 **Matt: Idk**

 **Matt: 1pm?**

 **Shiro: Okay. That works**

 **Matt: Cool**

 **Matt: But where**

 **Matt: I'd say you could come over but the house is currently in the aftermath of one of my sister's over-the-top science projects**

 **Matt: Her physics teacher loves her but honestly even he thinks she should dial it back a bit**

 **Matt: Seriously I stepped on a screw she dropped in the hallway**

 **Matt: If you thought Legos hurt**

 **Matt: Man ive got news for you**

 **Shiro: Where is best for you?**

 **Matt: Idk**

 **Matt: Somewhere at the university would be best**

 **Shiro: Want to meet at the library?**

 **Matt: Sure**

 **Shiro. Okay. See you there**

Shiro hit the power button and tossed his phone aside, then he dropped his face back into his pillow. A small smile crept across his face, and suddenly he didn't feel quite as exhausted. His whole body felt lighter, as if that simple conversation had filled him with helium.

Rolling off his bed, Shiro got to his feet and walked through his dorm, checking Eurus' food, water, and litter box, then picked up the backpack he had abandoned at the door to set out the binders full of homework and textbooks. He cleaned up the dorm a little, tossing dirty clothes that had been hurriedly abandoned on the floor into the hamper where they belonged. The small, careless messes he had made throughout his busy week were wiped away, and the dorm was organized again.

Once Shiro finished his sudden cleaning spree, he brushed his teeth and changed his clothes before returning to his bedroom. He shut off the light, dropped onto his newly-made bed, and picked up his now-charging phone. He clicked the power button and watched the screen come to life with a notification from his conversation with Matt.

Unlocking his phone, Shiro found a simple reply.

 **Matt: Yep ^-^**

The clearly old-school emoji the tech student had typed out made Shiro let out a small snort of laughter. He felt the sudden urge to send a sarcastic reply, but stopped himself before his thumbs could tap out the message. Since when did he ever send unneeded replies? Since when did he send sarcastic texts at midnight? He couldn't even remember the last time he'd done it, though he knew his high school-aged self had been enough of a snarky devil to say such a thing. Though that had been, what, seven years ago? Eight?

Suddenly Shiro felt lost and confused. He set his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and tossed his sheet over his body while settling in. His earlier exhaustion returned like a tsunami after the tide of lightness he'd felt earlier rushed away. His feet began to ache and his head throbbed uncomfortably while the bruises on his side pulsed with his heart.

Laying in bed in the darkness of his room, Shiro thought back over the course of the past three months. He started with his initial arrival at the university that semester, the first day of his third-year aviation class, and how unbelievably bland the memories seemed. Aviation had always made him feel happy, feel free, but it had been colorless. He may have been able to enjoy flying, but everything else? His day had been so… boring.

Once he reached his first visit to the IT Center, that awkward moment when Matt had walked in and caught him staring hopelessly at the bell, he found himself with the ghost of a smile on his lips. The smile returned with every memory of returning to the IT Center, of meeting up with Matt for lunch or to just talk. By the time he reached the present day, the moment when he'd looked at the text from Matt and snorted aloud, his smile had grown into a dumb grin. It confused him, and it made him think. Why? They were friends, yes, but how had Matt impacted him so greatly? How had he not noticed how much Matt had changed him? How did he not see the way color had started to seep into his life, genuine smiles cracking his weary face, warmth bringing his cold heart back to life, laughter and words coming to him so easily? How had he been so blind to it all? After years of isolation, he had forgotten what it was all like, to the point that he never recognized the bits and piece of happiness as they came back to him one by one.

Caught between wanting to slap himself or sighing aloud, Shiro turned over to lay on his stomach. He buried his face in his pillow and closed his eyes, surrendering to the oblivion of sleep that had begun to take hold. When Eurus jumped up onto the bed and curled up on his back, he didn't move, not even when she slipped and scratched him. Shiro was too busy thinking, thoughts of a friend he had grown to value so greatly, a friend who had saved him without him even noticing, morphing into dreams. Perhaps Shiro would have noticed how those, too, had started to fill with color, if only he remembered them when he woke. Perhaps he would have noticed the warm brown that had infiltrated the deepest parts of his mind, calming him as its gentle aura kept the nightmares that had once plagued him frequently at bay.

-000-

The next day, Shiro was running late.

Five minutes before 1pm, he was bolting out of his dorm. He'd completely lost track of time doing homework, and he just happened to notice the time on his phone when he knocked the device off of its resting place on his leg. When he realized he was supposed to meet Matt at the campus library that was a ten minute walk from his dorm in five minutes, he'd jumped up and ran the length of his dorm in mere steps. He didn't even stop to grab his backpack, reaching down to snatch up one of the straps without slowing. He only cast a backwards glance to double-check Eurus, who hesitated in the doorway to the room with her things as she stared at Shiro.

As athletic as Shiro was, he didn't think he'd make it to the library on time, though he didn't dare slow in order to send a text. He knew Matt would understand once he got there, and didn't want to make the other student wait any longer than needed.

Somehow, Shiro stepped over the threshold of the library exactly at 1pm. He was breathing a bit roughly, but thankfully he hadn't broken a sweat in the cool air of an overcast late October day. All he had to do to compose himself was take a few measured breaths as he wandered further into the main lobby of the library and scanned the crowd for a familiar head of sandy brown hair.

"Shiro!"

Shiro's head snapped to the side when he heard someone hiss his name over the quite murmurs of the other students. He found Matt standing against the wall, his bag hanging off his shoulders as he slumped casually against a concrete pillar with his phone in hand. The IT student pocketed the device and pushed away from the wall as Shiro approached, a friendly smile on his face.

"Hey, sorry, I was running a little late," Shiro apologized, rubbing the back of his neck a bit sheepishly.

Matt shook his head. "It's fine. I got here barely a minute before you," he assured, allowing Shiro a slight wave of relief with the knowledge that he hadn't been waiting long.

The pair looked out at the room around them, Shiro taking advantage of his height to look down the rows of books at the table scattered throughout the shelves. Every single one appeared to be full.

"I think everyone else had the same idea for studying today. I don't think we'll be able to find a table," Matt commented.

Shiro nodded. "Yeah. As far as I can see, even the tables back in the stacks are all full."

Matt stepped in front of Shiro and rose onto his toes, taking a look for himself in case Shiro had missed any open tables. When he found none, he sighed and dropped back down, shoulders slouched.

"Maybe we could study outside?" Shiro recommended, peaking out the window. It was a little windy and a bit overcast, but the temperature wasn't uncomfortably low.

Unfortunately, just after Shiro spoke, the pair heard the telltale sound of raindrops on the roof of the library. They came softly at first, but quickly turned into a thundering downpour that echoed through the library.

"I guess that's a no," Matt commented, staring out the window.

The two stood in silence, thinking. The cafeteria was open, but it would be crowded and loud, and they'd get too many dirty looks if they lingered to look over their books after eating. Another option was a coffee shop down the road, but they'd have to drive there, and it was likely the place would also be bustling with students craving pumpkin spice lattes as they poured over their school work.

After a few moments of contemplation, an idea came to Shiro, but he wasn't too sure about it. He wasn't sure how he felt about the idea of inviting Matt into his personal space, but it was rapidly becoming clear that they didn't have many other options.

"I mean, we could, uh, study in my dorm if you want. You could meet Eurus, too," Shiro offered awkwardly, his words stumbling over his tongue. He rubbed at the back of his neck as he spoke, looking anywhere but at Matt. "It's about a ten minute walk away, though, so we'd have to wait until the rain lets up," he added.

Matt raised a finger, signaling Shiro to wait as he shrugged off his bag, set it on the floor, and opened it. The IT student rummaged through the binders, textbooks, and loose papers until he pulled out a plain black umbrella.

"I remembered my mom kept insisting that I bring the umbrella. I told her I wouldn't need it because we'd be inside, but she thought it would rain and didn't want me to get soaked while walking to the library," Matt explained, zipping up his bag and slinging it back onto his shoulders.

The pair headed for he door, Matt unwrapping the Velcro strap that held his umbrella shut as they walked. They stepped outside and were blasted with a gust of cold, misty wind. Even under the shelter of the overhang above the door they were not safe from the rain, and the wind had caused the temperature to drop to an uncomfortable chill that slipped straight through the sleeves of Shiro's shirt.

Matt opened up the umbrella, which unfortunately wasn't too large, then looked at Shiro. With their height difference, he'd have to hold the handle at shoulder height to make sure the bars of the frame wouldn't scrape Shiro's head.

Deciding he didn't want to risk it, Matt offered the umbrella up for Shiro to hold, but the older and held up a hand.

"It's not very big, and I don't want you to get wet. Go ahead and use it. I'll just change my clothes when we get to my dorm," he said.

Matt shook his head. "That won't do much to keep you from getting a cold, though. And your bag will get wet. Go ahead and hold it so I don't smack your head with it, and I'll just stick close so I don't get rained on," he insisted.

Shiro paused, looking at Matt for a moment. The younger student had his face set in a stubborn look, and Shiro could tell that Matt wouldn't back down.

Giving up, Shiro took the umbrella and held it in his left hand so it covered him and Matt both. He tried to hold it as low as he could, and shifted it to the side to insure that Matt would be completely covered even though stray rain drops began to attack his right arm and shoulder. The two began walking, moving slowly and awkwardly at first until they managed to sync up their steps. Shiro slowed for the sake of Matt, who took a step and a half to cover the distance that Shiro did in one stride.

Once they were finally able to walk at an almost-normal pace, Shiro nudging Matt to signal him to turn, the pair made their way to Shiro's dorm, both of them pretending not to notice the way their arms brushed with every step.


	17. Studying

A/N: Hey guys! I have returned with a little filler-kinda chapter. It was a good opportunity to add in some more of Matt's meme tendencies as well as some content related to Eurus while heading towards the next arc. Up to this point, the story has been a lot about building up their friendship, but now I'm planning to dive into some deeper things. I'm sorry its been so long since the last update, I've been picking up extra shifts at work because my boss has been out sick. Anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this, and I hope you end up excited for what comes next. I can tell you right now that I'm already very excited to get into the next arc, and if I didn't have to go to work, I'd start writing it right now.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

After nearly fifteen minutes, the pair finally reached Shiro's dorm building. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led to the top floor, which were wide enough to accommodate them both even when they walked side by side, but would prove rather awkward to climb in sync.

Quickly deciding against trying to waddle slowly up the stairs in an attempt to keep them both under the umbrella, Shiro dropped the handle in Matt's hand and jogged up the stairs until he was under the overhang on the top floor. Matt followed after him a moment later, umbrella bobbing as he walked.

Shiro led Matt to his door, then stuck the key in the lock and wrestled it open as Matt shook the rain droplets from his umbrella. Swinging the door open, Shiro nodded for Matt to go in, then shut the door behind the two of them.

Shiro immediately slipped off his shoes and left them by the door, knocking the dirt off on the mat. He then took a few steps into the room, only to remember that he had a guest. He quickly turned back to see Matt sliding off his shoes just as Shiro had done and leaving them nearby. The IT student then started to close his umbrella, moving to wrap it back up before Shiro stopped him.

"You'll ruin it if you don't let it dry out before you close it. Here, I'll let it dry out in the shower in case it drips," the aviation student offered, holding out a hand.

Matt nodded and handed over the umbrella, earning a small smile from Shiro.

"I don't really have a proper table, so I usually just use my notebooks when I need something solid to write on," Shiro explained as he waved Matt over to his room. The pair walked in and Shiro gestured loosely at the small area. "There really isn't too many places to sit, but go ahead to wherever is most comfortable. I gotta hang the umbrella up, and I need to get a different shirt. My sleeve got pretty wet on the walk over," he said.

Matt turned to look at Shiro and frowned. "Why didn't you stay under the umbrella? You might catch a cold doing that," he scolded.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't get rained on. Since we were headed back here, I figured it would be better if I got rained on a little bit since I could just change my clothes once we got here," Shiro explained, shrugging.

Matt sighed. "Next time, stay under the umbrella. We can walk a little closer together if we need to, even if it slows us down. It's better to stay dry and walk longer than to get drenched just to speed up the pace a little," he said.

Shiro nodded, smiling slightly at Matt. His smile was returned, then Shiro dropped his bag on the floor and went to grab a different shirt to change into and a new pair of gloves that weren't damp.

Balled-up clothes in one hand and umbrella in the other, Shiro headed to the bathroom. He made sure the door was locked before he got to work setting up the umbrella so it could properly dry in the small shower. He then pulled off his half-soaked shirt and tossed it into the bathroom hamper to be dealt with later. He did the same with his gloves, then pulled on his fresh, dry clothes.

Before leaving the bathroom, Shiro looked over his clothing to make sure everything was covered. Only once he was certain that every part of his right arm was properly covered, and after double checking to make sure no tips of scars were poking out of his collar, Shiro finally unlocked the door and stepped out.

Returning to his room, Shiro half-expected to find Matt still awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with the straps of his backpack while scrolling on his phone. However, he was surprised to find something much different.

Matt lay on the floor, a small grin on his face and his glasses askew as he pet Eurus, who stood on his chest and rubbed her face against his glasses in search of his undivided attention.

"It looks like Eurus must have introduced herself," Shiro said with a chuckle as he walked in, his arms crossed and a smile on his face as he stared down at his two friends.

Matt glanced up at Shiro, his face going red as a fit of laughter escaped him. He scratched Eurus' chin and head, then ran a hand over the smooth fur of her back. The cat purred loudly in response, then flopped down contentedly on Matt's chest.

"Well, I guess I'm stuck here now," Matt joked, continuing to pet Eurus. "I have been reduced to a chair."

"Yeah, good luck getting her to move. Once she gets comfortable, it's all over it," Shiro said.

A smile still stuck on his face, Shiro dropped down onto the floor and grabbed his backpack. Shifting to sit cross-legged, he opened his bag and started digging out homework, notes, and textbooks. He set all his things at his side, then shoved away his bag to clear up space.

Once Shiro had all of his things set out in stacks organized by class, he looked over at Matt to find the younger man still petting Eurus. He looked just about as content as the cat, though Shiro took notice when Matt glanced at his own bag, which had been abandoned a few feet away. Matt's current inner turmoil was something Shiro understood well, as he too preferred the idea of petting Eurus for hours instead of doing homework. However, it was important that they get their work done and study the material, especially with midterms coming up.

"Do you want me to move her?" Shiro asked, nodding toward Eurus as he took pity on Matt.

Before the IT student could answer, Eurus suddenly rolled over and flopped down directly onto his face.

For a moment, Shiro was stunned. He was silent, his mouth hanging open slightly as he stared dumbly at the sight of Matthew Holt slowly suffocating beneath the fur of a very comfortable cat. He then hurried and leaned forward, reaching over to grab Eurus and quickly pull her away from Matt's face while sighing his cat's name aloud.

" _Eurus!_ "

Matt burst out laughing as Shiro set Eurus down, only to be silenced when Eurus instantly jumped back onto him, flopping down on his face once more.

Shiro reached over and grabbed Eurus again, this time holding on to her as Matt chuckled again and sat up, fixing the glasses that Eurus had knocked off his face completely. With Matt safely upright, Shiro released his cat once again, only to reach for her once more as she took off towards Matt. Unfortunately he missed, and Matt ended up with a lap full of cat.

Shiro looked up at Matt, expecting him to be annoyed that Eurus wouldn't leave him alone as she rubbed her head against his knee and pushed away one of his folders in search of attention. However, he was surprised to find Matt smiling, happily petting Eurus and scratching under her ears.

"It must be hard to get anything done if she likes attention this much," Matt stated with his lips still pulled into a content smile, scratching Eurus' back.

Shiro's shoulders relaxed as a ghost of a smile touched his face.

"Actually, she's usually a lot calmer than this. She must just really like you," Shiro said. "Then again, people always say animals are good judges of character, so I'm not surprised," he added without thinking, only to tense up again and mentally slap himself.

Matt looked up suddenly, his face appearing almost blank, if only slightly shocked. It made Shiro want to walk outside and into oncoming traffic. Sure, he did think Matt was a really great person, but he also knew that saying that out loud was not something people were supposed to do. With his old friends from high school, saying anything like that would have led to an awkward silence, not that Shiro had honestly believed any of them were really great people.

"Well then it makes sense why she likes you enough to stick around," Matt replied after a moment, the smile returning to his face.

Shiro was stunned, to say the least. Never had he seen himself that way, as a 'good' person. There was a lot in his life he felt guilty about: people he hurt, people he couldn't protect, not being there for Keith for so long and allowing their circumstances to make him grow up too fast. He saw little in himself to be respected, to be appreciated, but here Matt was, saying he was a good person. Someone who shone like the sun, bright, gentle, and kind, not only considering Shiro a friend, but also thinking he was a good person. It warmed Shiro's heart, but also turned his gut to stone. Matt's words were a small flame within Shiro's cold interior, but it was quickly extinguished by the blizzard that raged within. Matt thought he was 'good,' but Matt also didn't know much about Shiro. He didn't know what he'd done, what he'd been through, and there was no telling what Matt would think of him if he ever found out; _when_ he found out. Shiro couldn't keep secrets from this young man, and that was rapidly becoming apparent. He had found someone he trusted after years of loneliness, someone who made him feel like there was still good in the world despite all the bad he'd experienced. Already words poured from his mouth without him thinking, all before he could stop them. He felt too comfortable around his friend, too safe, and one day the things he never spoke of would slip out whether he wanted them to or not.

"Nah, she stays because I buy her the fancy cat food she likes. If I were to switch it she'd probably follow you home," Shiro joked quickly, hurrying to move the conversation on before it stalled completely along with his ability to form coherent sentences. He picked up his English folder and pulled out a list of fallacies he had to memorize. "But if she did that then I'd only have myself to complain to when I fail my test on logical fallacies," he joked again, smoothly changing the topic.

Matt chuckled and leaned forward, causing Eurus to abandon his lap before she fell on the floor. She finally decided to give up and allow the two to get to work, trotting over to the bed and jumping up onto it for a nap. Matt looked at the sheet in Shiro's hand, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I had to do those in high school. It's a lot easier to remember them if you use alternative names and not just the fancy ones," he said, motioning for the paper. Shiro handed it over, and Matt grabbed a pencil from his bag. He went down the page, writing little notes next to each fallacy before handing it back. When Shiro looked over it, he was surprised to find that the alternative names Matt had written down might actually be very helpful.

"How did you come up with these?" Shiro asked, looking between Matt and the paper with mild surprise.

"The girl who sat next to me in class came up with them, and she lent me a list of them because she noticed that I kept mixing the terms up. Basically she came up with names that kinda summed up the definition of each one, so then you just memorize the actual name and the alternative name. When you have to define them you just explain the alternative name, which was chosen to be self-explanatory," Matt explained.

Shiro nodded. "Well, that shaved a good two hours off my study time. I'm guessing you probably don't have another list for parts of a car's interior," he said.

Matt shook his head. "Nope. I do have a list of calculus formulas if you want something else to memorize, though," he offered.

" _Nope_. I barely survived algebra. If I so much as look at anything more difficult that, my brain is going to explode," Shiro complained, grimacing.

Matt smirked, then suddenly whipped a folder out of his backpack, flung it opened, and held it out, screeching, " _begone, THOT!_ "

Familiar with the meme, as someone who knew Lance McClain, Shiro theatrically fell backwards onto the floor. He wasn't sure if there was a proper response, but that was Lance's second most common reaction behind saying 'bold of you to assume I'm a thot."

Sitting back up, Shiro caught a glimpse of the sheet in Matt's folder and stopped. He leaned forward and squinted, looking at all the numbers and symbols with his face contorted in disgust.

"Wait, is that even English? It looks like ancient Greek," he stated, looking closer. The numbers, which he actually could read, might as well have been another language as well. He couldn't even follow how Matt got one answer from the last as he simplified equations.

"The symbols are Leibniz notation."

Shiro stared. "What the actual hell is a Leibniz."

"He's the guy who fought with Newton over notation because they both had their own style. But Newton's was too crazy, so everyone prefers Leibniz's," Matt explained.

Shiro's blank stare didn't change, causing Matt to chuckle.

"Don't worry about it. If you ever need to understand it, just call me," the IT student offered, shaking his head.

Shiro nodded. "If you don't pick up I will literally go kidnap you from wherever you are."

"Hmm. Let's hope I'm not home, or my sister will send the dog after you," Matt warned. He then stopped, contemplated, then added, "She'll probably go after you too."

"Good to know. Just gotta fend of the dog and the sister, then be okay with your dad failing me in my aviation class."

"That too," Matt agreed. "Speaking of, you better not fail the midterm, or my dad is gonna start following me whenever we meet up so he can quiz you on anything and everything he can think of."

Shiro laughed nervously, partly because he knew it was something Sam might actually do. "Yeah, let's avoid that."

The two laughed quietly, then finally settled into their work. Matt pulled up some music on his phone and played it quietly to fill the silence as the two of them worked. For hours, they went through their worksheet and notes, asking each other occasional questions and taking a few breaks. They didn't even notice the time pass by until Matt's phone rang with a call from his dad asking if they were finished for the night.

"It's _what_!?" he squeaked, ripping his phone away from his ear to check the time. It was just past 8pm, and they had gotten to Shiro's dorm just before 1:30pm. Time had flown by despite the fact that they were doing schoolwork, which wasn't exactly something they deemed fun.

When Matt hung up, saying his dad would soon be there get him, the two started to pack up. Shiro put all his things back into his backpack so they wouldn't be lost, bar his mechanics diagrams that he left on his nightstand to study later. When they finished, they played with Eurus and got into a discussion about why Loki should get his own solo movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

"He's so much _better_ than Thor. Like, Thor is all brute strength and lightning, but Loki's illusions and his slippery fighting style are so _powerful_ ," Matt groaned.

"There's so much we don't know about him, too. Like, we know he's done a lot, but we never see when he does it or how he does it. Like, when he fakes his deaths, where does he hide? How does he get his real self away from the fight? He's got to be close by so he can control his illusion to fit the situation. So then, like, when does he escape? Is he an illusion from the beginning, or just a split second beforehand? There's so much potential in his character. We _need_ a movie about him," Shiro stressed.

Matt sighed. "More like an entire series of movies. Captain America got three movies for being Mr. 'Justice-is-life-hey-no-swearing'. Loki should get like, ten."

Shiro was trying to think of more reasons to argue when Matt's phoned vibrated, signaling a text from Sam.

"Oh, my dad's here," the younger man said, scrolling through the conversation.

Shiro walked with Matt to the door, then out onto the deck that served as a hallway. He walked with him all the way to the bottom of the stairs and over to where Sam was parked, the two still talking about Loki. They only stopped once they were just feet from the car, Sam visible through the windshield.

"I guess I'll see you later, at some point," Shiro said. He wasn't quite sure when, but he was already looking forward to it.

"Actually, I think the college is doing a Halloween party in the library tomorrow. My dad was telling me I should go, so if you think you might be interested, just text me," Matt offered. "It's just gonna be junk food and Halloween music, since the school is putting it on, but Cypress said it was fun last year. Costumes aren't required, either, so you wouldn't need to worry about that."

Shiro nodded. "Okay. Yeah, I'll see about it."

Matt smiled, his voice cheerful as it betrayed his excitement. "Alright. See you later, Shiro!"

With that, Matt got into the car, and Shiro gave both him and Sam a wave before returning to his dorm with a goofy grin on his face that refused to fade even as he picked up his mechanics folder to start studying again.


	18. Party

A/N: Heeey. I finally finished the next chapter, and my college finals are next week, so I'll hopefully be able to write more after that. However, Voltron S8 is also next week so I may die, ya never know. Anyway, I'm excited for the new season, and for where this story is going. I know many of you who have followed this story might lose interest after S8 is out, though I still intend to finish writing even if it goes on much longer. That being said, thanks to everyone who has kept up, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

*TRIGGER WARNING* - This chapter contains a mild description of a near-panic attack. For anyone who may struggle with this, please stop reading after Matt and Shiro leave the library. I will have a note at the very end with a quick summary of the end of the chapter so you don't get lost but can avoid certain content if needed.

* * *

Shiro couldn't believe himself as he slowed to a stop in front of the university library Saturday night, phone in hand as he awaited a text from Matt. He was already stressing over midterms, and now his shoulders were tensed up to the point that it was painful as he watched the never-ending flow of students into the building. It was already crowded outside, and inside would be much, much worse. The only think keeping him from turning back was the excitement Matt had shown after Shiro finally agreed to go. However, even that was a waning force as his confidence wavered. It had been a long time since he had been around so many people at once, the party clearly much more crowded than the theater he'd recently gone to with Matt. Every fiber of his body was screaming at him to turn around and walk back to his dorm.

A vibration against Shiro's hand signaled a text, and he opened it to read the new message from Matt.

 **Matt: Im just getting dropped off rn**

 **Matt: Ill be there in a few secs**

 **Matt: I think I see you**

Looking up, Shiro scanned the crowd until his eyes met Matt's and kept his gaze on the other student until Matt reached him.

"Hey," Matt greeted, a smile already on his face even though they weren't even inside yet. "I'm glad you decided to come."

Shiro nodded. "I need a break from studying, anyway, so why not?" he questioned aloud, though his voice was tight, betraying his discomfort as he eyed the crowd.

Matt was quick to notice Shiro's tension, and he frowned slightly.

"Will you be okay? Cypress said the crowd is mostly where the music is, and the table with the food gets busy sometimes, but towards the outside there's more breathing room. Still, if you don't want to go in, we don't have to," he offered, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Shiro felt warmth in his chest as Matt said "we" rather than "you." It made him feel a little bit lighter with the implication that Matt wanted to not only be at the party, but also to be there with _him_. The way he spoke told Shiro that, if he wanted to leave, Matt wouldn't just wave goodbye and find someone else he knows. It told him that, if he left, Matt would go with him.

"I don't like crowds, but I think I'll be okay if we just stick to the corners kind of away from everything," Shiro decided, taking a breath. He smiled down at Matt to show his friend that he was sure about his decision, and upon receiving confirmation, Matt nodded towards the building.

The pair headed in, wading uncomfortably through the throngs of people streaming in through the library doors. Shiro felt claustrophobic as they passed through the doorway, and he flinched when someone bumped his right arm, but it ended as quickly as it started. The other students dispersed throughout the room, and Shiro followed Matt as the younger man broke away from the rest of the people and headed towards an unoccupied bench against the wall.

Shiro let out a deep breath as they sat down, some tension seeping out of his muscles now that there were fewer people nearby. All the noise and the colored lights blinking and shining on the other side of the large lobby was sensory overload for Shiro, but it was made easier as Matt picked up their conversation about Loki from the day before.

"Why can't they give us more content with his shapeshifting? There was only, like, one time when we saw him shapeshift. It's so cool though? I mean, we keep hearing Thor talk about how Loki used to turn into a snake so Thor would pick him up, only to change back into himself and stab Thor, but we've never seen that happen. I would sell my _soul_ to Marvel just see that," Matt rambled, gesturing wildly with his hands as he spoke.

"How would they do that, though? What if Chris Hemsworth dropped Tom Hiddleston?" Shiro questioned, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

Matt stared at Shiro in silence for a moment, leveling him with a rather disappointed look.

"Dude," Matt started, his tone dripping with disbelief. "He's _Thor_. Have you _seen_ that guys arms? He's like, as buff as you. He can like, bench a car."

"I think a car is a bit much," Shiro pointed out, though Matt only shrugged.

"You never know."

Shiro blinked, not very sure about where to go from there. Thankfully, he didn't have to figure it out, because Matt had already started again.

"Anyway, Tom Hiddleston is a twig. Picking him up would be like picking up a piece of cardboard," Matt stated, then added, "for Hemsworth, at least."

"Picking _you_ up would be like picking up a piece of cardboard. Tom Hiddleston is probably heavier than he looks," Shiro argued. "He's probably taller than me."

It took a moment for Shiro to realize what he'd said, and he blinked and glanced at Matt's expression out of fear that he might have offended his friend.

To Shiro's relief, Matt didn't appear offended at all. Instead, the IT student shrugged and nodded. "Fair point," he admitted. "But I still think they could handle it."

By that point, Shiro didn't have much else to say on the topic. He tried to think of a way to continue, but the loss of flow in the conversation made it difficult, and it tore down the wall that his mind had built up to distract him from his chaotic surroundings. The lights and sounds all came crashing down on him, and he stiffened. His breath picked up, and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees as he tried to slow his breathing and calm his anxiety.

"Shiro?" Matt's voice cut through the noise, drawing Shiro's attention. Matt's hand hovered in the air as he looked at Shiro with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Shiro nodded, taking a deep breath before sitting back up.

"Sorry. The noise got to me for a second," he said, telling half of a truth. While the noise was getting to him, overwhelming his mind, the flashing lights across the room and the sheer number of people were both crushing. It made him want to walk out as fast as he could, but he was still having a good time and didn't really want to go back to his dorm yet.

"Have you heard of vines?" Matt asked suddenly, his expression blank. The question caught Shiro off-guard, and he momentarily forgot about the crowded room again.

Shiro stared at Matt dumbly, completely lost. He'd heard Lance mention 'vines' before, though he had no idea what they were. All he knew was that, when Matt said 'vines' he wasn't talking about the plant.

Matt whipped his phone out of his pocket, turning it on and pulling up YouTube. He typed something into the search bar, then clicked the first result before handing the phone to Shiro, who took it hesitantly.

The first thing Shiro heard when the video began was a scream, followed by, "Stop! I could've dropped my croissant!" His gaze flicked momentarily to the title of the video, which was unsurprisingly 'vines that butter my croissant'.

Confused, Shiro looked over at Matt with a raised eyebrow in search of context, but the younger man was smirking, his eyes glued to the screen. Aware that no answers would come, Shiro returned to watching the video.

"Why did Jared never learn how to read?" Shiro asked under his breath almost three minutes in, though he was heard by Matt, who looked up at Shiro is disbelief before breaking down into a fit of giggles that made Shiro tilt his head in confusion. "How did he know he spelled any of the words on the screen right if he can't read it?"

Matt only snorted at Shiro's second question, doubling over so quickly that he almost fell off the bench as he gasped for air. It took him a solid minute to regain his composure enough to speak, wiping tears from his eyes. "It's… It's a _joke_ , Shiro. He can read, it's just meant to be funny," the IT student explained, though Shiro's confusion only grew. "Okay, just, uh, watch the rest of this. There are some really fun ones even you will understand," Matt assured.

Seven minutes later when the video ended, Shiro had yet to understand a single one of these 'vines' things. What did Kyle do? How did that girl _spill_ lipstick in her mom's bag? Wasn't lipstick a, well, stick? Why did little kids swear so much? Even Keith didn't swear until he was fourteen, and he'd always been a little bit of a delinquent.

"I don't get it," Shiro stated as he handed the phone back, causing Matt to sigh.

"One day, Shiro. One day, you'll understand," the younger man promised, putting his phone away.

Shiro frowned. "But what did Kyle do?"

Matt deadpanned, pulling his phone back out of his pocket and holding it up.

"Say that again," he ordered, making Shiro tilt his head in confusion for the twentieth time in the last ten minutes.

"What did Kyle do?" he asked again hesitantly, unaware of what was happening.

Matt chuckled, tapping his phone screen a few times before returning the device to his pocket. "My sister is gonna _die_ when she sees that. Your responses to vines and memes could be vines and memes _themselves_."

Unsure of what Matt meant, Shiro decided not to ask. He was already confused, and didn't think he'd be able to understand what Matt meant any time soon.

"Anyway, do you want any food? I'm hungry, and since it's really crowded over there, I'll get something for you so you don't have to go," Matt offered, nodding his head toward a distant table surrounded by people. The sight alone was enough to make Shiro nauseous, having once again forgotten about the crowd as he watched the 'vines' on Matt's phones.

When Shiro didn't respond, Matt stood. "I'll grab you some pizza. Be right back," he promised, before heading straight for the crowd.

Shiro felt a pang of guilt as he watched Matt worm his way into the crowd, quickly disappearing from sight. He didn't like asking other people to do things for him, and even though he was hungry and Matt was going over to the table anyway, he still felt bad. He had a slight frown as he waited, scanning the edge of the crowd until Matt came into view once again just a minute later, two paper plates full of food in hand.

Upon reaching the bench, Matt handed one plate containing two slices of pizza and a chocolate chip cookie to Shiro, receiving a thankful nod in response. He then sat down with his own plate, picking up a brownie and biting off half of it at once.

Shiro raised his eyebrows in surprise at Matt's choice of food, which appeared to be one slice of pizza and enough sweets to cause a cavity in seconds.

Matt caught Shiro staring and shrugged, swallowing the remainder of his brownie. "I like sugary stuff, Mr. Protein Shake," he defended, hunching over his plate protectively.

A small smile crept onto Shiro's face as Matt nearly inhaled a cookie, then he shook his head and picked up one of his pizza slices. "Remind me to keep you away from the candy before you put yourself into a sugar-induced coma," he joked.

Matt's head snapped to the side, his mouth full of cookie. " _WhEF_ ," he hissed, eyes wide as a few crumbs flew from his mouth. He hurriedly swallowed, then repeated himself more clearly. " _WheRE_."

Shiro nodded towards a person near the door who had a bag of candy that they were giving out to people who entered the building.

"They're only giving out one piece per person," Matt complained quietly, frowning. He then shrugged. "I'll just steal some of what my parents bought for trick-or treaters. They won't care if they don't know I did it," he claimed smugly, an evil smile on his face that made Shiro let out an amused breath through his nose.

The two continued eating, their eyes wandering until some excited shouts drew their attention towards the middle of the room. It was hard to see, but two guys had started dancing to the current song, one that Shiro didn't recognize. The dancing was actually quite impressive, one of the guys actually doing a backflip at one point. The spirit became contagious when the song switched to the macarena, and people began to stand up and dance, half of the room soon dancing along. Even Matt set down his plate on the bench and jumped up to start dancing, smiling at Shiro, who remained seated, while exaggerating the movements sloppily until Shiro chuckled.

When the song came to an end, the crowd quit dancing, and Matt sat back down on the bench. He wolfed down another brownie, a grin still on his face while he looked over at Shiro. The older man's cheeks were tinted red from his earlier laughter, and the sight made Matt's smile grow wider, as he had noticed how tense Shiro had been since they arrived and felt bad that his friend was staying for his sake despite his own suffering.

The pair finished their food, launching into a conversation about music. They argued back and forth about what artists were best until Matt brought up My Chemical Romance, causing Shiro to dive into a story about how his younger brother's friend Lance had cried once when Keith convinced an oblivious Shiro to play the band's infamous 'Welcome to the Black Parade' on his phone in front of him. Shiro was sure to mention that he had noticed Keith's shoulders sag during the song, as Keith had listened to the band for quite a few years and was suffering just as Lance had.

"Oh my _god_ , that reminds me. One time, my sister got really pissed off at this kid in her class whole kept being really rude to a substitute teacher who was super lost on how to run class, and the kid was like, the _biggest_ MCR fan _ever_. So during their music class when the teacher asked for help to move the piano, she volunteered herself and recommended that the teacher ask that rude kid to help since he was pretty strong. Then, when the teacher got the class to quiet down while she and that kid were moving the piano, she G-noted him," Matt explained, giggling to himself.

" _No_ ," Shiro gasped, looking at Matt is disbelief. He was well aware of what it meant to 'G-note' someone, a concept he had learned one day when he was called into Keith's school because Keith had once again gotten into a fight with Lance. The first thing Keith yelled was that Lance had 'G-noted' him, earning nothing but confused looks from both the school staff members in the room and Shiro until he explained what it meant. After learning that Lance had sneakily played the first note of 'Welcome to the Black Parade' just to spite Keith after an argument, Shiro simply sighed and apologized to the school principal before promising to talk to Keith about the issue and leaving.

"Yeah. The kid _completely_ freaked. He yelled at her and smashed the piano keys so hard that one broke, so his parents had to pay for the damage. He tried to defend himself by telling the teacher and principal that she 'G-noted' him, but she played dumb and said she was just trying to move the piano and accidently hit one of the keys. She gets in trouble for hacking stuff and the occasional mild fight, so I was surprised that they didn't really suspect her. I guess no one was aware that she had any reason to be mad at the kid, though, and since they didn't understand what 'G-noting' was, she completely got away with it," Matt finished.

"I have the feeling your sister and my brother would get along a little _too_ well," Shiro observed, shaking his head. "Though Keith is probably a bit older. Your sister is, what? Fifteen?"

"Yeah, Pidge is fifteen," Matt confirmed.

Shiro nodded. "Keith just turned eighteen not too long ago, so it's a three year difference. Maybe they'd get along still," he guessed.

"Pidge either acts like she's twelve or twenty, and there's no in-between, so I think they'd probably be fine," Matt reasoned. "Besides, you're a couple years older than me, too, aren't you?"

Shiro paused, hit with a realization. Had he ever actually asked Matt's age? He knew that, when he had first seen him in the IT Center, he had thought that Matt was a high schooler rather than a college student since he looked so young. However, the thought hadn't crossed his mind since.

"You're….?" Shiro prompted, slight hesitance in his voice.

"Nineteen. I'll be twenty in December," Matt stated, making Shiro choke on the remainder of his pizza, which he had just eaten.

After Shiro stopped coughing, Matt tilted his head to the side and frowned. "Is something wrong? I mean, I'm younger than many second year students. You're in your third year, so I already assumed I'm probably younger than you," he explained.

"No, no, there's nothing wrong with that," Shiro assured, waving his hands defensively. "Besides, I actually thought you were in high school when I first saw you at the IT Center, because you look really young," he admitted, causing Matt to raise an eyebrow. It made Shiro want to backpedal, but before he could open his mouth, Matt smiled.

"Actually, when I first walked into my computer science class in my first year, Rift thought I was someone's kid. I had to show him my ID before he believed I was actually a student," the younger man revealed. "He felt really bad after."

Shiro nodded, his gaze wandering to the floor.

"…." he mumbled something inaudible over the music in the air and the people talking around them. Even though they were in a quieter area where they didn't need to raise their voices to speak to each other, a mumble that would be difficult to hear in an empty room was drowned completely out by all the other sounds.

Matt looked at Shiro with confusion, aware that the older man had spoken, but unsure of what he said.

"I'm… twenty-five," Shiro said a bit louder, his shoulders hunched slightly. He already knew Matt was younger than him, likely quite a bit younger, and it didn't really bother him. However, he wasn't sure that he could say the same for Matt. Would Matt be weirded out that Shiro was older? A lot of people only had friends around the same age as them, especially younger people. As those 'meme' and 'vine' things Matt seemed to love became more popular and older generations continued to fail to understand them, generation divides became very apparent. What if Matt decided that Shiro would never understand the humor he loved, and stopped talking to him? What if Matt simply decided Shiro was _too_ old? After all, Matt was only about two years older than Shiro's younger brother, who was _seven_ years younger than Shiro himself. That didn't make Shiro see Matt as a younger brother like Keith or anything of that sort, but that didn't mean Shiro wouldn't seem _really_ old to him. Did that even make sense as a coherent thought? Shiro wasn't sure anymore. All he knew was that he was worried, and he was panicking.

"And?"

Shiro's thoughts screeched to a halt, and he whipped his head to the side to look at Matt with surprise painted all over his face.

"And?" Matt repeated, eyebrows raised. "You're not even that old. What is there to be embarrassed about? If it's something like not going to college immediately after high school, then you should remember that _a lot_ of people can't immediately go to college, or they don't want to. There's nothing wrong with it-" he explained, only to be cut off by Shiro.

"You're not, like, weirded-out, or something?" the aviation student asked dumbly.

"What? No! No." Matt shook his head, a strange look that appeared to be a slight cringe on his face. "Why would I find that weird? It's not like you're as old as my parents, or something," he said.

"But I'm six years older than you," Shiro stated blatantly.

"And my aunt is ten years older than my uncle, and they're married. What's your point?" Matt deadpanned.

"Oh. Well, I don't know. People usually, you know, don't associate much with people more than a year or two older or younger than them," Shiro reasoned.

Matt rolled his eyes, then fixed Shiro with a small smile and a raised eyebrow that said he wasn't angry in case he seemed like he was. "This isn't high school, Shiro."

"Oh, uh, okay."

The two sat in silence for a moment, then Matt stood and held out a hand.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Want me to throw out your plate on the way?" he offered.

Shiro nodded, letting out a small 'thanks' as he handed his plate over. Matt smiled and turned away, heading toward the crowd again. Shiro watched him go, then after he disappeared into the crowd, Shiro got out his phone to check the time. They had been at the party for almost an hour and a half, though it hadn't felt like more than thirty minutes. The time just after their arrival had seemed like an eternity, but after settling on the bench and losing focus on all the people and sounds, time had flown by like a runaway jet. It had honestly been fun, definitely compared to the last time Shiro had been in such a crowded area. Even the movie they had gone to paled in comparison, though to be fair, the movie had sucked and Matt had been out cold for half of it.

Shiro slid his phone back into his pocket, then he looked up and began scanning the crowd while his mind wandered. He felt pretty good, oddly enough. He was actually sleeping, he had been for a while now, instead of lying awake every night or jerking awake from a nightmare every other hour until he finally gave up on sleep. He didn't feel as tired as he usually did, even though he'd plunged into crowded areas far more often and for far longer since he started hanging out with Matt. He'd always gotten exhausted by simple trips to the cafeteria, or even trips to Kronners when it was busy. However, he'd been far more relaxed recently, especially when Matt was around. It was becoming clear that Shiro's new friend was helping him in more ways than one, both keeping him from isolation and helping him stay grounded and relaxed in situations and places that usually made him tense and jumpy. He wasn't quite healed, he likely never would be, but he had slowly been getting better. When Matt came into Shiro's life, the light and kindness he radiated seemed to speed that process up. A year ago, Shiro would never have even been able to enter the building when a party such as the one he was at was going on, even if it was a relaxed one hosted by the university. Either he had finally reached the point where he could tolerate such settings, or Matt's presence was enough to make it bearable. Either way, Shiro was glad, and he hoped it would continue.

Unfortunately, Shiro's hopes were shattered in just moments. A familiar mess of light hair caught his eye, and his gaze refocused as Matt quickly slipped from the crowd. He was walking briskly, his shoulders tense and his arms stiff at his sides. He had an unreadable look on his face, but his eyes were just a little too wide, focused a little too strongly on the floor. He no longer radiated calm, but rather fear and panic.

Instantly, Shiro was on guard. The instincts that had slowly gone dormant over the years returned at nearly full strength, making him aware of every sound, every smell, and every movement in the room. It was sensory overload ten times worse than when he'd first walked in, but he made no move to leave. Matt was clearly on edge, but the situation was unknown. It wasn't Shiro's instinct to flee that had been triggered, rather it was his instinct to fight. He was aware of everything, but he was in control. It was like he was mid-battle all over again, deciphering the situation in the moment and searching for a solution. With so many questions, all he could think to do was stand and step towards Matt, watching as his friend approached.

"We need to leave, now," Matt hissed tensely through gritted teeth when he reached Shiro, passing by him only to grab his jacket, which he'd taken off earlier and left on the bench, before gripping Shiro's wrist with a surprising amount of force and pulling him towards the door. His pace never slowed, and his face never changed from the stony, tense expression that had settled upon it since his return.

Out of habit, Shiro scanned their surroundings as Matt led him out, and he locked eyes with someone at the edge of the crowd near where Matt had come from. The man appeared to be around the same age as Matt, likely no older than twenty-one. He was staring at them, or more specifically, at Matt, but his gaze shifted to Shiro when he noticed the aviation student staring. The small smirk that had been on his face before slid away, replaced by a frown, but a group of people soon walked by and obscured Shiro's line of vision. He couldn't see the strange man anymore, though he could still feel his gaze, and it felt wrong.

Hesitantly, Shiro turned to face forward again just as Matt pulled him through the doors and out of the building, exposing them to the cold night air.

It was dark out, but the sidewalk was lit by the occasional light pole. Matt never stopped moving, his pace constant and his grip on Shiro's wrist unrelenting. Despite the cold wind, he wasn't shivering, even though his t-shirt clearly offered little protection against the bite of the chill.

It felt like an eternity before they finally came to a stop in front of a building Shiro recognized as the IT Center. Matt suddenly let go of his wrist, but Shiro had no time to even think about asking what was wrong before Matt had his phone out. He typed a lightning-fast text, shut his phone off, walked up the wall of the building, turned around, then leaned back against it. His eyes went to the sky, two milk chocolate irises that usually shone with life dulled to a hazy brown, then he suddenly slid to the ground with a heavy sigh.

Worried, Shiro rushed forward and knelt in front of his friend, eyebrows furrowed as Matt brought up his hands and rubbed at his face stressfully. The IT student paused with a hand over his mouth as if he felt nauseous, though it was likely that he did. Whatever had happened, it was clearly causing Matt great distress.

"Matt?" Shiro called quietly, reaching out to touch his friend's shoulder. Matt surprised Shiro when he suddenly lashed out, smacking away Shiro's hand so hard that it hurt, making Shiro jerk his entire body back as if he'd been burned.

The sudden motion seemed to snap Matt out of his daze, and he looked between his own hand hovering in the air and Shiro's recoiled form before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbled quietly, pulling his hand towards his chest as if it hurt.

"It's okay," Shiro assured quickly to combat the guilt in his friend's voice. "Are you alright?" he asked, searching Matt's face for any clues as to what might be wrong.

Matt let out a shaky breath, then another, then a third, each one successively quicker than the last. Shiro recognized the signs of an oncoming panic attack and reached for Matt again, this time successfully grabbing his shoulders. Matt didn't seem to take notice, still trying and failing to calm down.

"Matt," Shiro called, shaking his friend gently. It did little, as Matt was still struggling to contain himself even though he looked like he was trying. "Matt," Shiro called again, looking him in the eye.

Matt looked up partially, but his eyes didn't seem to focus. He looked like he was on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, something Shiro wanted to avoid at all costs. He knew what it was like to lose himself, to get swallowed by the fear and anxiety like a pebble on a raging shoreline. He knew how much it hurt, how exhausting it was, and he didn't want Matt to go through that.

Carefully, Shiro placed a hand on the side of Matt's face and tilted the younger man's head so he was looking him in the eye, then he spoke. "Matthew."

Just like in the movie theater, the use of Matt's full name got the IT student's attention. His eyes focused, and his gaze settled on Shiro's face. He was still breathing unsteadily, though a fraction of his panic seemed to have been replaced with confusion.

"Focus on me, Matt," Shiro stated simply, staring at his friend intensely while slowing his own breathing to long, quiet, deep breaths through his nose. "Focus on me," he repeated.

Matt did as he was told, not shifting his gaze an inch as he stared at Shiro and his breaths began to slow. It was a gradual fall, taking almost a minute, but soon Matt was no longer choking on short, quick breaths. His breathing had slowed to match Shiro's with none of the words, loud breathing, or coaching that people often resorted to. Shiro found those tactics more annoying than helpful, and it seemed Matt wasn't in need of them either.

"You okay?" Shiro asked softly once Matt had calmed down, still looking into his eyes.

"Y-yeah," Matt responded quietly, sighing in relief as he closed his eyes and slumped back against the wall behind him.

Shiro dropped his now-free hand from where it hovered after Matt pulled his head away, though his other hand still lingered on his friend's shoulder. Typically he feared such contact, worried someone might feel the metal in his hand through his gloves, but at the moment he had much more to worry about. Matt did too, and it was unlikely that he'd even notice.

"I'm sorry… for all of that," Matt apologized quietly, his eyes still closed.

"It's okay," Shiro assured, his expression still pinched with worry and his voice low.

Neither of them spoke again, Matt's mind too hectic and Shiro's too full of questions he knew better than to ask. Neither of them said or moved much until a minute later when Matt began to shiver, finally aware of the freezing wind. He sloppily pulled on his jacket, though it did little to help. Clearly, he hadn't expected to be outside for a long period of time when he'd left home. Even with the jacket, he continued to tremor, and he was too tired to do much else about it.

Unable to continue watching his friend suffer after the rough night he'd been having, Shiro unzipped his own jacket and shrugged it off, then leaned forward to drape it across Matt like a blanket. It made the IT student open his eyes, now full of confusion, and move to give it back.

Shiro shook his head. "Hold onto it," he said.

Matt looked between the jacket and Shiro, then nodded, lacking the energy to put up a fight. He pulled the jacket off his front and slipped it behind him to hang over his shoulders like a blanket, though it might as well have been, seeing as it was three sizes too big on him.

The pair fell into silence again, Shiro fighting the urge to shiver as the chilly air sliced through his sleeves and made his right arm ache with cold. Neither spoke or moved until a pair of headlights came into view just minutes later, the vehicle whipping into a parking space.

The driver got out the car without bothering to turn it off, leaving the engine running as he got out and jogged over to the pair. Sam Holt soon came into view, his worried face illuminated by the soft light of the street lamps. He immediately knelt down next to Matt and Shiro, looking first to the latter for any clues before turning his attention to his son.

"Matt? What's wrong? What happened?" Sam asked, setting a hand on Matt's shoulder.

Matt shook his head, taking a breath to steady himself as his anxiety started to return. It wasn't as bad as before, though it made his voice shaky.

"I s-saw him, at-at the library," the IT student stated quietly, looking at the ground.

Sam's eyebrows furrowed, a mixture of confusion and concern as if the answer was just out of reach. It seemed that he knew the answer he received would be something he didn't want to hear, something that he knew was bad.

"It was Quinn, dad. He was there," Matt spat quickly, his tone a mixture of fear and anger. He finally raised his head, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "He goes to this school."

There was no room for arguments, no what-ifs or maybes. Shiro didn't know much about the party in the library, though he did know that it was only for students. Anyone who didn't have their ID visible while attending would be removed. Even Shiro and Matt had their IDs in lanyards tied to the belt loops of their jeans despite the fact that half of the administrative staff were familiar with Shiro and Matt was a student employee at the IT Center. If that Quinn guy was at the party, he was a student.

Sam's face flashed with anger before suddenly going blank as he rushed to hide the emotion he undoubtedly felt. The man was obvious experiencing some great turmoil, though he hid it well just as any other military commander could. Without a word, he got to his feet and motioned for Matt to stand, grabbing his son's elbow to help him get up. Sam looked at Shiro and nodded towards the car, signaling him to follow.

Shiro did as he was told, following the Holts to their vehicle. He waited as Sam walked Matt to the passenger side, waited for him to get in, then closed to the door. Sam then approached Shiro, his expression dead serious.

"Shiro," he began, "Matt trusts you a great deal, and I know you're a good man. So I need to ask a favor of you."

Shiro nodded, waiting.

Sam looked his student straight in the eye as he spoke with every ounce of seriousness he could muster.

"I can't always watch out for Matt. I can't be there for him 24/7, even if I didn't have work to do." Sam paused, as if debating what to say next. "That kid, that _man_ you two saw tonight, do you remember what he looked like?"

Shiro nodded again.

"Good. If you're with Matt and you see him, please, get Matt out of there as fast as you can," he asked. "He's...he has a bit of a history with Matt. I can't say much, because it's not my place to explain, but… Regardless, Matt isn't safe around him. Now, _I know_ I might just sound like some parent worried over everything even though my son is an adult who can take care of himself, and yes, he will always be a child in my eyes, but that's not the issue here. Quinn is dangerous, so please, just, keep Matt away from him," Sam explained. "I'm not asking you to follow Matt everywhere and act like a security guard or anything, I would never ask you to do that. I just need to know that there is someone Matt can turn to if he needs to, someone who can keep him safe if I'm not there and the situation gets dicey."

Shiro paused momentarily, letting his mind process what he had been told. This Quinn guy was bad news, and while Shiro wasn't sure why, Sam had made it very clear that he had to be kept as far from Matt as possible. It wasn't the time to ask for specifics, and as Sam had said, the details were Matt's secrets to disclose.

"Of course," Shiro agreed, pushing down his confusion. He may not have known what was truly happening, but he knew enough. Matt was his friend, and he would look after him.

Sam nodded. "Thank you. Take care of yourself, Shiro."

Without another word, Sam turned and walked around the car to the driver's side. He dropped into the driver's seat, buckling in and giving Shiro a thankful nod before throwing the car into reverse and backing away.

Shiro watched the Holts leave, questions still swirling through his mind. There were too many to ponder at once without giving him a headache, and the last thing he wanted to do was make assumptions. With that in mind, he decided not to think about it and instead wait until Matt gave answers, that is, only if he wanted to.

Rubbing at the ache that was growing in his right arm as the chunks of metal continued to chill, Shiro started toward his dorm. He was still somewhat alert and on edge, his senses still heightened as the wind whipped by and every sound echoed in his ears. He glanced up at the sky, wishing for the freedom of flight while mentally preparing himself for a sleepless night of worry.

* * *

A/N: *For those of you who might have skipped the last part of the chapter, this is what happened:

Matt and Shiro leave the party at the library and end up at the IT Center. Matt texts his dad to pick him up, and sits down as he tries to sort through some problems he's facing concerning the strange person at the library. Matt has a near-panic attack due to his poor history with this person, who is revealed to be someone named Quinn, another student at the school. Shiro helps Matt calm down, as he's dealt with anxiety and panic attacks himself before, then Sam soon shows up to pick up Matt. He asks about what happened, and Matt reveals that he saw Quinn in the library. This causes distress in Sam, though he puts his own negative feelings aside and focuses on getting Matt home. While Matt sits in the car, Sam explains to an extent that Matt has history with Quinn, and the man is not safe for Matt to be around. He doesn't reveal much more, as he believes it is Matt's place to divulge details and Matt's alone, though he asks that Shiro watch out for Matt and make sure he it kept away from Quinn. Shiro agrees, then Sam takes Matt home. Shiro returns to his dorm.


	19. Sticks and Stones

A/N: Happy New Year! I was hoping to update just after my college finals, but I ended up with a bunch of tests in my high school classes just before winter break and have been working quite a bit since then. This chapter was also a bit difficult to write for a few reasons, but an explanation would be a bit spoiler-y here so i put it in the end notes. In the end, the chapter ended up quite a bit longer than usual, but I like the way I went with it. I'm hoping you all enjoy it, and if all goes well, I'd like to try and post one more update within the next week before school starts, as I will then be headed straight into high school exams and the new college semester. I can't promise that I'll be able to do it because I have a lot to finish up before going back to school, but I'll try my best. I enjoy writing this story and would like to keep it going strong. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has been keeping up so far, and I hope you'll stick around as new chapters are released.

* * *

It wasn't until the following Monday that Shiro came into contact with one of the Holts again. He walked into class mid-yawn, having not slept much over the weekend. He was worried about Matt, about what must have happened to him that made Quinn so dangerous. It made Shiro fear that maybe something would happen when neither he nor Sam were around, and Matt wouldn't be able to defend himself. Usually, Shiro would have some faith in Matt. However, Sam's words from that night of the party had sent a chill down his spine. Matt _wasn't_ capable of defending himself again Quinn. He _needed_ someone to watch his back. Would he really be okay? What might happen if he ran into Quinn alone? What kind of issue was there between them?

With all these questions swirling in his mind, Shiro didn't notice that someone had been calling his name as he sat in his chair and stared blankly at the front of the room.

"Shiro?"

Shiro's head snapped up, his gaze landing on Sam Holt. The man was looking at him with a slightly concerned expression, his head tilted slightly as he took in his student's bloodshot eyes and the growing shadows beneath them.

"Hello, sir," Shiro greeted, remembering to be more formal in the presence of his classmates. Sam nodded, though his expression didn't change.

"Are you feeling okay? You look a bit tired," the older man pointed out.

Shiro shook his head. "I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping well," he stated, not going into detail.

Sam stared for a moment like he knew what Shiro was thinking without him saying anything. It was as if the man could read his thoughts, like he was aware that Shiro had been worrying about Matt. However, he said nothing, and simply nodded again.

"Well, here's your jacket. I was a bit distracted when I picked Matt up and didn't notice that he had it on. It has been chilly out, so I wanted to get it back to you quickly," Sam explained, holding said jacket out.

The aviation student's eyes widened slightly in surprise. He hadn't noticed the jacket as it hung on Sam's arm, his brain too sleep deprived to realize it was his.

"Thank you, sir," Shiro said, taking his coat back. He set it on the desk, taking note of how it was nicely folded. It also seemed to smell slightly of detergent, and the scent brought a confused look to his face.

"My wife went ahead and washed it. Not that it was dirty or anything, just out of courtesy," the man stated.

"Oh, that's okay. Thank you," Shiro said with a nod. It wasn't necessary for the Holts to do that for him, though he decided to simply be thankful.

Sam nodded again, giving Shiro a smile before returning to the front of the room just as Instructor Con entered, addressing the class loudly and asking them to get out their notebooks.

-000-

At the end of class, Shiro slipped his phone from his pocket and checked it. No messages. A cold feeling went through him, as he'd heard nothing from Matt over the weekend and had been hoping to hear _something_. He at least wanted to know if Matt was feeling better. However, he didn't want to ask, because he felt like he would be pressuring his friend. The last thing he wanted to do was stress Matt out more.

"Matt's been busy, but he is feeling a bit better."

Shiro jumped at the sound of Sam's voice, having been lost in his thoughts once more. His hand went to his chest as he inhaled deeply, trying to calm his pulse.

"Sorry for sneaking up on you," Sam apologized, folding his hands behind his back.

"It's okay," Shiro assured, leaning back in his chair. "I was a bit worried, since he hasn't sent a single text since then. I'm glad he's feeling better, though."

Sam nodded. "He probably wouldn't usually react to seeing Quinn so severely, but that night was a bit of a surprise for him, and it's been a year or two. He was more shocked than anything else," the man explained.

"That's understandable," Shiro replied, glancing down as he picked at his gloves.

A silence fell over the two of them, Shiro unsure of what to say and Sam trying not to disclose more than he should. Shiro continued to pick at his gloves and frowned in irritation as more questions started to form in his mind. He briefly considered mentioning a few of them, but then took notice of the time.

"Well, I need to get going. I'll see about meeting up with Matt sometime later this week when he's not busy," Shiro said, getting to his feet and hauling his bag onto one shoulder.

"Okay. Try to get some more sleep in too, if you can," Sam advised, stepping back to give Shiro a path to the door.

"Will do," Shiro called over his shoulder. He then left the room, allowing the troubled expression he had been withholding to shape his face.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Shiro typed out a quick text to send to Matt and paused. Sam _had_ said that Matt was feeling better, but Shiro wasn't sure if asking to meet him at the cafeteria for lunch at some point that week would be a good idea. Quinn had seen them at the party, and now knew that Matt was a student. If he wanted, he could easily stake out the cafeteria to try to find Matt and corner him. Despite that, Shiro did still want to meet up with Matt, so he decided to take a different route with his text before hitting send.

 **Shiro: Do you want to get lunch together sometime this week?**

 **Shiro: Someone in my class was talking about a restaurant that just opened nearby**

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Shiro hoped Matt would accept. He had felt on-edge since the party, and he thought that maybe actually having Matt around might make him feel better. That way, he wouldn't be spending his time worrying that Matt might run into Quinn alone.

Shoving his thoughts away, Shiro headed for his next class with his phone in hand, waiting for a response.

-000-

It was a whole day before Shiro got a reply, which set his phone off just as he was walking into English. The professor raised an eyebrow at him, and Shiro responded with a sheepish smile before stepping out of the room and pulling up the message.

 **Matt: hey**

 **Matt: I was covering a few shifts in the IT Center because everyone got the plague**

 **Matt: By plague I mean they got hammered over the weekend**

 **Matt: And again yesterday**

 **Matt: Rift actually fired a guy for coming in to work high and drunk off his ass**

 **Matt: And yeah my sister told me about the restaurant**

 **Matt: Im free of Thursday**

 **Matt: *on**

Shiro smiled while reading over the texts, glad to see Matt back to his old self.

 **Shiro: How about Thursday at 1?**

 **Matt: Maybe? Im not sure when my dad is free to give me a ride**

 **Matt: My mom works all day tomorrow too**

 **Shiro: I can drive you**

 **Matt: Are you sure?**

 **Shiro: Yeah. Where should I get you from**

 **Matt: My dad is going to the university in the morning so ill just go with him**

 **Matt: Ill meet u are the IT Center at 12:45**

 **Matt: at***

 **Matt: I cant type for shit today**

 **Shiro: That's okay. I have to go to English, but I'll message you when I'm done**

 **Matt: Alright**

 **Matt: I might take a while to respond because im at the IT Center today**

 **Matt: On break rn**

 **Shiro: Okay. I'll talk to you later**

 **Matt:**

Shiro turned off the volume on his phone in case it went off again before walking back into class just as the professor began.

-000-

Two days later, Shiro pulled up in the parking lot near the IT Center at exactly 12:45pm. He put the car in park, then let it idle as he dug his phone out of his pocket to text Matt.

 **Shiro: I'm here**

It was merely seconds before Matt responded.

 **Matt: Hold up lemme go outside**

 **Matt: Too many stairs wtf**

 **Matt: Im installing an elevator asap**

 **Shiro: Matt the IT Center is only on the second floor**

 **Shiro: It's like two flights of stairs**

 **Matt: Two too many**

 **Matt: Almost there**

A few moments later, Shiro saw the front door open and watched Matt walk out. The younger man was squinting in the wind as he looked around, his gaze landing on Shiro's vehicle. A smile crossed his face as he jogged over, phone in hand. He dropped into the passenger seat the moment he reached the car, sighing loudly when he closed the door.

"It's so _windy_ ," he complained loudly, buckling up his seat belt.

Shiro nodded, turning around and bracing his arm on the back of Matt's seat as he backed out of his parking space. "You probably should've brought a heavier coat," he commented, having noticed the thin jacket his friend was wearing.

"Yeah, but then I would have had to hold onto it at the restaurant,' Matt pointed out, crossing his arms.

Shiro pulled out of the parking lot with a quick glance and headed for the main road while shaking his head. "Try not to catch a cold, or your parents will kill me," he stated somewhat sarcastically.

"As if my dad would kill the best aviation student at the school," Matt responded with an amused snort, giving Shiro a glance.

Shiro let out an amused huff. "Yeah, sure. I'm _the best_ , and you can't tell a mouse from a keyboard," he mocked in a poor imitation of Matt's voice.

Matt frowned, his head tilting in the corner of Shiro's vision. "But you are. You're every instructor's favorite student. Con even bragged to some of his buddies from another school about you," the IT student explained. "You always get top marks on everything, and you can out-fly even the fourth-year students."

Shiro stiffened, half out of surprise and half out of panic. He knew he was good, he'd led a team when he was in the military. However, he didn't realize he was _that_ good, at least in the eyes of his instructors. If they thought so highly of his skills, where did they think he had learned them? He hadn't attended any other colleges for training, having learned everything in the military. That left him with a rather barren academic record, which was why he was at his current university in the first place. He was aiming for a commercial license, so he could fly passenger planes or be a private pilot for a company. The lack of such things left only two possible origins of his skills: natural talent, or the military. The last thing he wanted was for someone to find out about the years he served. It could cause him professors and peers to treat him differently, maybe with the same stiff formality as they did with Sam despite the man's insistence that they be more casual. Sam and Matt's entire view of him might change, as Sam knew the challenges a veteran faced after returning to civilian life, and Matt was so accustomed to treating his father with care that he might start to act the same way around Shiro. If they found out that Shiro had been a soldier, he wouldn't be the same in their eyes. He wouldn't be just a nice guy from the aviation division. He would be revealed as the struggling man he was, someone carrying his own burdens. The Holts wouldn't want to add to that weight, even if it was something important. Sam would tell him not to worry about Matt despite Quinn's presence, that he has his own things to focus on, and that was the last thing Shiro wanted to see happen. He might have been struggling, but he was not fragile. He did not need to be coddled or treated as if he was always a hair away from shattering. He had been getting by on his own for a few years now, and even though it was hard sometimes, he wasn't incapable of independence. He could take care of himself, and when someone he cared about was in danger, he could look out for them too.

"I do study a lot, I guess. I haven't really had much else to do over the past few years," Shiro said dismissively, waving a hand. It wasn't a lie. He honestly didn't have anything better to do, or at least he hadn't before he befriended Matt. However, studying wasn't where his skills came from and he knew it well. He just couldn't bring himself to divulge those secrets, not yet.

Matt hummed, accepting the explanation, then turned to look out the window as Shiro pulled out on the main road. Signs flew by as Shiro accelerated, heading towards the area where the new restaurant they were heading to was at. However, he wasn't quite sure of _exactly where_ in that area the restaurant was, and it seemed like it wouldn't be too easy to find.

"Does your phone have mobile data?" Shiro asked, shifting in his seat as he realized his seatbelt made it impossible for him to reach his own phone.

"Uh, I think so," Matt stated, shoving his own seatbelt away from his pocket so he could pull out his phone. He turned it on, typed in the passcode, then tapped around on the screen for a moment until his mobile data was activated. "Yeah. What do you need?"

"Can you get me the actual address for the restaurant? I checked before I left, but I can only remember the general area," Shiro admitted with a frown as he searched their surroundings for signs.

"One sec."

Out of the corner of his eye, Shiro could see Matt tapping away at his screen. It took a moment, but the IT student soon found what he was looking for.

"Okay, uh, take a right at the next stop light, then follow that road for a little bit," Matt instructed, only glancing up from his screen once.

"You know how to get there?" Shiro asked, raising an eyebrow in slight surprise. He hadn't thought Matt knew his way around so well, especially since he didn't have his license and didn't actually do any driving around.

"Google maps," Matt explained simply, flipping his phone around so Shiro could glance at the screen. A blue line marked the path they were meant to take.

"Oh." Shiro didn't believe he had such a feature on his phone. If he did, he was completely unaware of it. However, it seemed like it would be very useful, and he made a mental note to check and see if he could use it on his own device later.

As instructed, Shiro took a right at the next stop light. He then followed the road until Matt told him to turn once, then again, then follow the road once more. They were in an area that looked something like an outlet mall, and Shiro recognized one of the stores as being one the restaurant was near. Sure enough, a glance around revealed the sign for the restaurant to their right, and Shiro maneuvered the car towards it and into a parking space somewhat far from the building.

"Sorry for the distance. I just don't like parking up around a lot of other cars. A lot of the spaces aren't very wide, and I can't exactly get out of my car when I can only open my door one foot," Shiro explained, killing the engine.

"That's alright. My mom does the same thing because she doesn't want some idiot to dent the car when they open their door," Matt commented. "One bill for six-hundred dollars was enough."

"For a little dent?" Shiro asked, his face scrunched up in confusion as he got out of the car.

Matt shut his door, pocketing his phone. "If by little, you mean it looked like someone threw a bowling ball at the side door and cracked the window, then yes."

Shiro raised his eyebrows and let out a whistle, getting a nod of agreement from Matt.

After the car was locked, the pair headed for the door at the restaurant. They stepped inside and were instantly bombarded with the sound of clinking plates and people talking. It made Shiro stop short, and it took everything he had not to do a one-eighty and walk right back out. The cafeteria at the school was something he could manage, since it was noisy but spacious. The library had been a mess of crowded people but staying away from the crowd in a quieter area had helped Shiro tolerate the discomfort. However, _this_ was hell. It was crowded and compact, with people and noise _everywhere_.

Internally, Shiro smacked himself. How had he not thought about this? He had been so focused on going anywhere but the cafeteria where Quinn might see them that he hadn't considered how packed the restaurant would be. It was new, and its menu had a variety great enough to attract scores of customers. Not only that, but the lunch rush had yet to end it seemed, so the restaurant was even busier. Shiro wouldn't have been surprised if there were no open tables.

Shiro didn't realize he'd retreated into his thoughts until Matt's face appeared in front of him with a concerned frown. The IT student raised and eyebrow as Shiro blinked back to reality, then Matt motioned for Shiro to stay put before he approached the hostess.

Shiro watched as Matt talked to the young woman, unable to hear a word they said over the noise. All he was aware of was Matt's a hand waving slightly to his side and he motioned around. The conversation lasted nearly half a minute, then he hostess nodded and picked up two menus before heading off. As Matt motioned for him to follow, Shiro hesitantly stepped further into the restaurant.

The two students followed the woman through the winding maze that was the restaurant, slipping past tables and booths. Shiro noticed that some of the ones they passed were clean and empty, leaving him confused as to why they were continuing past them. Were there reservations on them?

In the depts of the restaurant, Matt and Shiro were finally seated at a booth in the corner. Matt slid into the seat facing the wall, leaving Shiro with the booth that faced the restaurant. Being able to see everything left him feeling more relaxed and in control. As he relaxed, he also noticed that the noise wasn't nearly as bad as before. The back of the restaurant was actually rather quiet, the noise from when they'd first walked in now distant.

"My name is Amber, and I'll be looking after you today. Feel free to call me over if you need anything else," the woman said as she placed the menus in front of them.

Shiro and Matt both gave an appreciative nod, Matt tagging on a 'thank you' with a kind smile.

Shiro tilted his head, picking up on a few oddities in his friend and the woman. Anything _else_? An extra 'thank you'? The latter could have been Matt being polite, but when grouped with Amber's words and all the empty tables they passed towards the front of the restaurant, his instincts told him he was missing something.

"I asked if there was a quieter part of the restaurant where we could sit, since you have trouble with the ready crowded and noisy spaces," Matt informed, nodding towards their surroundings. It was mostly older people and couples quietly enjoying their food, maybe making the occasional joke or comment. There were none of the screeching children or tipsy adults hooting at each other that had been at the front of the restaurant.

"Oh," Shiro said, a feeling of warmth spreading through his chest. "Thanks." It had been thoughtful of Matt to do him such a favor without even being asked, especially when the restaurant was busy, and the hostess was not guaranteed to care at all. However, it seemed that Matt and Amber were both feeling kind. Shiro made a mental note to remember to leave a good tip.

The two browsed the menus as they waited for Amber's return, then Shiro ordered a coke and a nice-looking burger he'd spotted while searching for something to eat. Matt ordered a sprite and buffalo chicken burger with extra jalapenos. The thought of it alone made Shiro's eyes water, getting him a snort of laughter from Matt.

"Like I said, I like sugary stuff. However, spicy is also a favorite," Matt explained. "Habanero gummy bears," he stated, "are the greatest invention known to man."

Shiro made a face at the thought, reached for the small rack of condiments against the wall on their table. He spun the hot sauce around, then raised an eyebrow at Matt.

"Twenty bucks says you wouldn't chug this," the aviation student challenged.

Matt leaned back and crossed his arms. "If we weren't at a restaurant, I'd chug it for five."

Slightly concerned, Shiro released the bottle and leaned back. "Remind me to never leave you anywhere near candy or hot sauce,"

Matt chuckled and had to bite back his laughter as Amber returned with their drinks. He and Shiro both thanked her before she left, then his laughter poured out again.

"Bold of you to assume you could stop me," the IT student countered with a wicked grin.

Shiro crossed his arms. "I say that because I'm sure I _can't_ stop you."

Matt laughed again, his voice quiet out of courtesy for those around them. However, he stopped dead and froze suddenly, his head whipping to the side. His eyes locked on a man who sat down at a nearby table, pupils constricted.

"Matt?" Shiro questioned, leaning forward as he fixed a worried look on his friend. His gaze flicked to the man momentarily, then back to Matt as the younger man let out a sigh of relief and turned back towards his friend, slumping in his seat.

"Sorry, it's nothing," the IT student said, though his tone was tense. Shiro was able to see through the lie easily.

Frowning, Shiro looked over at the man who had caught Matt's attention and studied him. When the man turned his head somewhat towards them, part of Shiro's mind made a connection. His face was familiar, but it was not one he knew. It only looked somewhat like one he knew, one he wished he'd never seen. This man was not who Shiro might have thought, though he did look like him.

Carefully, not wanting to prod too much, Shiro lowered his voice. "Quinn?" he questioned, aware that the man near them looked like that unsavory person at a glance.

Matt nodded. "I though that guy was him for a second," he admitted. "I already saw him earlier today while at the IT Center." He then went quiet, eyes on the fizz of his drink.

Shiro looked down at the table, not sure of how he should proceed. It took a moment for him to commit to his plan, as it wasn't something he wanted to do. However, he was curious and angry. Clearly, Quinn had hurt Matt in the past. How he'd done and how bad it had been, Shiro didn't know. Maybe he wouldn't ever. At the moment though, Shiro wanted to do anything he could to try to help Matt feel safer.

"If you see Quinn, don't hesitate to call me. I don't care if I'm two feet away or two miles. I don't know what he did, but I know it wasn't good. I won't let him go near you, no matter what I need to do to keep him away," Shiro promised, leaning forward and speaking softly as he stared at Matt, who was still looking down at his drink.

Matt was still for a moment, then he shook his head. "He's not worth it," he stated, a muscle in his jaw tensing. The IT student reached for his straw, and Shiro noticed a slight tremor in his hands. The younger man tore off the paper on one end, slid part of the straw free, then pulled it out with his teeth. However, he didn't place it in his drink. Instead, he chewed on the end as if it would release the tension within him.

The two were silent, and Shiro started to regret ever mentioning Quinn. He was worried Matt might clam up and make himself anxious instead of letting Shiro help him.

"He was just a dumb kid in high school who didn't like me much."

Shiro's gaze shot up from the table, landing on Matt's face. The IT student was still looking at his drink, his gaze unmoving.

"Getting pushed around by him wasn't fun, but I was able to manage it. That's not some 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me' shit. It sucked, but I just kinda ignored him. He was only in a couple of my classes, too, so I never had to put up with him the whole day."

Matt finally took his straw out of his mouth and set it in his drink, stirring around the pop and ice slowly and twirling the straw in his fingers. His eyes stayed on the straw. "I pissed him off one day, got him in trouble. It wasn't over something he did to me, though. There was another kid he was bothering, a new kid who didn't have a single person to back him up. I didn't really have anyone either, but it was easier for me since I wasn't surrounded by strangers. This kid, he took Quinn's words well at first, but he started to crack quickly. One day, he started crying. Quinn just laughed. It pissed me off more than anything Quinn had ever done before."

Shiro's hands clenched into fists, his anger nearing boiling point. He knew what Matt meant when he said he got shit from Quinn. It hadn't been just once or twice, either. It was something Shiro knew well, just in a different form. He'd been isolated by his peers, and they talked behind his back, but his appearance was too intimidating for anyone to confront him outright. Matt was small and weak in appearance, and he seemed to pose no threat to anyone. People wouldn't hesitate to get up in his face, and Quinn had done just that. He'd done it day after day, and while Shiro didn't know the reason, he knew enough. Bullying was dangerous. Bullying had left a young Keith crying in his room while Shiro stood outside the door, unsure of what to say. It had shackled Lance with depression and made Hunk afraid to go to school. The taunts built up over time, creating a looming darkness in the mind until it was impossible to bear any longer.

"I stole his phone and set it up to go off during one of his classes. I just gave him a taste of his own medicine, made it seem like his reason for giving us shit applied to him too. He got so mad. I knew he'd be pissed, but I went with it anyway. It got his attention off the other kid, though he changed schools soon anyway. After that, Quinn was down a target and pissed as hell, and he made sure I knew just how much I screwed up," Matt explained quietly.

"Matt," Shiro whispered quietly. He had been curious about what had happened, and part of him had wanted to know. However, he wished he could take all the words Matt had spoken and push them back into his friend's mind. Knowing was so much worse than being oblivious. It was beyond painful for Shiro, and he couldn't imagine how Matt must have felt explaining everything.

The pair was silent for a moment, Matt's lips twitching as if he had more to say but wasn't sure if he wanted to let the words out. Meanwhile, Shiro was deep in thought. No wonder Matt had been so afraid when he'd seen Quinn. Fists might leave more physical scars, but words left scars on the mind that took ages to heal and even longer to fade. Sometimes, those mental scars wouldn't fade at all. They'd always be there, a reminder of what had once happened. Matt's story wasn't heavy on details about what Quinn had said to him, but clearly whatever it was had left a lasting impact. Those words had hurt Matt so bad that Quinn's very _presence_ startled him and made him lose himself. That night after the party, Matt had barely recognized Shiro before he calmed down, to the point where he had slapped Shiro's hand away when the older man had gone to touch his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Sure, Sam had said that Matt wouldn't have reacted as strongly if not for the fact that he hadn't seen Quinn in years and didn't know he attended the same university, but Matt had seemed absolutely _terrified_. What had Quinn said that made Matt close himself up and, quite literally, push others away? Just how bad did it have to have been to condition a physical response? Shiro himself would only move away if he wanted to keep his distance. The only times he'd ever slapped someone's hand away was when they tried to touch his mangled right arm, or on one occasion when he'd been teaching Keith how to punch properly and didn't expect a right hook aimed directly for his face. That hadn't been long after Shiro's discharge from the military, and at the time, the surprise had thrown a glimpse of the past at him. He'd seen the fist of a stranger who wanted to hurt him, so he'd slapped Keith's fist aside to deflect the blow without thinking. What words hurt more than a physical attack? Unless…

The blood suddenly drained from Shiro's face and his heart went cold as a realization struck him. Words couldn't be shoved aside with a hand, so how would they have inspired Matt's physical reaction? Hateful comments and taunts didn't make someone get defensive physically. Matt saw Quinn, then for the first time since they'd met, Matt had reacted instinctively to something with violence. _"And what causes violence…besides violence?"_ Shiro thought. He wanted to stop his thoughts there, to keep quiet and not pry, shut down the conversation before Matt was too upset, but the question slipped out before he could stop it.

"Matt… did Quinn… did he hit you?"

Matt didn't even look up at Shiro, instead lowering his head even more as if he wanted to hide his face. Then he spoke, his voice low and quiet.

"The first time I got a black eye, I got a girl in my math class to cover it up with her makeup. I didn't want my parents to find out and get worried. I hid all that for ages, and Quinn made it easy. He was hoping for a scholarship once he finished high school, so he was careful not to leave any bruises in plain sight, so he wouldn't get caught. My parents almost found out a few times, and my sister walked in on me changing my shirt once and saw the bruises. I told her I knocked a few textbooks off a desk while kneeling and they fell on me. She didn't believe me, but she never said anything. It took months for my parents to find out about it all."

Shiro found himself staring at the table in front of him, any words he might have thought to say dying on his tongue. He had one hand over his mouth to hold back his nausea as his thoughts raced. He didn't even notice when Amber brought their food, only faintly hearing Matt thank her. It wasn't until a few minutes later that Shiro was finally able to look up at Matt, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at him.

"I'm so sorry," Shiro said quietly, his eyes going to his hands. He picked at the leather of his gloves, unsure of what else to say, if anything at all.

Matt gave no reply, simply sitting there. He picked at a fry on his plate, eating it almost robotically, as his mind was elsewhere.

Shiro made no more to even touch his food, appetite gone. He simply sat in silence until Amber came back with their bills, and he gave her a smile and a nod when she asked if they wanted boxes. He and Matt both packed up their food and paid their bills, then slipped a few dollars under their empty plates as a tip for Amber. They left in silence, and they didn't speak at all in the car on the way back to the University. It wasn't until Shiro pulled into the parking lot near the IT Center that Matt finally spoke.

"Sorry about ruining lunch, and for dragging you out of the party on Saturday," he apologized quietly. "It was a bit pathetic," he added with a sad chuckle.

Shiro's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he clenched his jaw against his rising aggression.

"No."

The single word was spoken so harshly, his tone cold and adamant.

Matt finally looked at Shiro, taking in his tense features. Meanwhile, Shiro was struggling to keep his anger in check.

"There is _nothing_ pathetic about _any_ part of you," Shiro growled, willing away the tickle of angry tears in his eyes. "Quinn is a piece of shit, and there isn't a _single thing_ that you should be apologizing for."

"Try saying that again next time he knocks me on my ass with a single pu-"

"That. Won't. Happen."

Normally, Shiro didn't interrupt people, but that moment was an exception. He would _not_ let Matt finish that sentence. He would _not_ let Matt believe he would end up back at Quinn's mercy, back in a hellish life of pain and suffering. Matt, kind and funny Matt, the one who told dumb jokes and dabbed at the dumbest times, who asked for a table in a quieter part of the restaurant so Shiro wouldn't suffer, didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve Quinn's shit.

"I won't let him lay a _finger_ on you, not again, no matter what I have to do," Shiro promised, his gaze on the building in front of him.

Matt sighed. "Thanks, but he's not worth it. You're on a scholarship, right? If you so much as yell at him, they might take that from you. Besides, you have a life too. I can't go relying on you like you're a bodyguard," he reasoned, sounding a bit tired.

Shiro frowned, but he kept himself from speaking. Matt was entirely right. His financial aid would disappear if he attacked someone, even if he did it for good reason. Shiro wouldn't always be there, either, just as Sam had said before. He had classes to go to, a cat to look after, and a brother at home to keep in contact with. Not only that, but Matt was nearly twenty years old. He was an adult, not a child who needed to be protected. Quinn might not be the only violent person he'd ever encounter, and he'd only be able to rely on himself when he got in trouble. Shiro wouldn't always be able to protect him no matter how hard he might try, though there was something else he could do.

"Let me teach you how to fight."

This caught Matt's attention, and he whipped his head to the side so his wide eyes met Shiro's. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He seemed a bit stunned, though whether it was due to the offer itself or the fact that Shiro must know how to fight if he was offering such a thing, Shiro didn't know.

"Well, not actually _fight_. You shouldn't fight him or anyone unless you _have_ to, but…" Shiro paused, trying to explain. "You shouldn't be afraid of him, and I don't want him to hurt you. I want to know that you'll be safe even when I'm not around, or when your family isn't around. If you can protect yourself and be able to get away from danger, then Quinn can't hurt you, and neither can anyone like him."

Matt was silent for a moment, his brain still processing. It took a moment for him to find his voice. "Aren't you busy though? It's November already, and classes will be done in a little over a month. You need time to study. Besides, I'm like, two feet tall and about as big around as a stick. Even if I can throw a punch, it's not going to _do_ anything," he reasoned, frowning.

Shiro shook his head. "It's worth the time, Matt, and you need to stop doubting yourself. Just because Quinn won before doesn't mean he always will," he argued. "Besides, I taught a lot of what I know to my younger brother, Keith. He's not much bigger than you, but he can knock _me_ on my ass. He's had a lot of time to practice, but that doesn't mean you can't do it."

Matt looked down at is shoes, his face twisted by a mixture of emotions. "I could always just keep away from him as much as possible. That way, I don't have to waste any more of your time. You've already had to put up with my breakdown after the party and dealt with me complaining about the stupidest shit or rambling on and on about tech shit no one outside the IT program understands. I don't want you to feel like you always have to help me out," he admitted, his voice quiet.

"Matt," Shiro began, "you're my _friend_. You're _supposed_ to complain to me about stupid shit, ramble about the things you love, and ask for help when you need it. Quinn hurt you, and I don't want you to get hurt again, alright? I can't always keep him away, and I can't always have your back. But this is something I _can_ do," he explained.

After a moment of silent contemplating, Matt met Shiro's eyes once more. His expression melted into a soft smile, and he nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Shiro."

Shiro returned the smile. "Of course."

The two sat there, watching each other and smiling, neither of them moving. It took Matt a moment to remember that he needed to go meet up with his dad, and only then did he unbuckle his seat belt and get out of the car. He gave Shiro a grin and a wave, which Shiro returned before backing out of his parking space and heading to his dorm.

-000-

When Shiro was back in his room, he flopped down on the bed with a sigh. His gaze went to the ceiling as he let his mind wander, reviewing the events of the past few hours. Matt had been bullied in school, quite badly it seemed. Someone as sweet and seemingly innocent as him had lived through such a nightmare, and Quinn was the one who'd done it. No wonder Matt had been so shaken after the party.

As to exactly _why_ Matt had been bullied, Shiro didn't know, though he didn't plan to ask. Matt didn't owe him any explanation, and he'd reveal the details only if he felt comfortable with it. Shiro was okay with that. Matt had already trusted him with enough of his story, something Shiro had yet to manage himself. It made him feel a bit guilty, learning new things about Matt, deeper and more personal things, while he himself was stubbornly holding on to secrets. What had he told Matt about himself? That he had a cat and a brother? That his financial situation wasn't great? That he had struggled with going to school while raising Keith? Those weren't exactly deep secrets.

' _Even if I did feel ready to talk about myself more, now isn't really a good time_ ,' Shiro thought to himself. It may have been a poor attempt at consoling himself, but he wasn't exactly wrong. Matt was struggling with the whole Quinn ordeal, and it wouldn't help him if Shiro decided to call him up and say something like ' _oh, by the way, I'm a retired veteran like your dad who suffers from PTSD because I was taken captive and tortured. Also, I have a bunch of metal fused to my right arm because it got mangled during my time in captivity, which is why I always wear gloves and long sleeves. Fun fact, I've been raising Keith myself for years because his mom left when he was a baby and I was adopted by his dad a few years before he died, leaving me as the only known living relative Keith has.'_

"Definitely not a good time for that," Shiro stated aloud. "Right, Eurus?" he asked, turning his head to the side to look at his cat as she entered the room. Shiro got a stare in response, making him smile slightly.

Sighing, Shiro sat up, rubbing at his eyes. "I hope you're excited to see Matt again. He'll probably be over here a few more times soon," he told Eurus, only to suddenly pause. After saying the words out loud, they finally sunk in, and he remembered his words from earlier.

"Shit."

Shiro flopped back down on his bed, this time turning over to lay on his stomach and bury his face in his pillow as he thought back to the conversation he and Matt had had in the car. Matt had admitted to thinking he was sometimes bothersome to Shiro, and hadn't wanted to accept his offer to help because he didn't want to take up his time, and what did Shiro do? He got _sappy_.

"He's gonna think I'm some crazy dude who moms people," Shiro muttered to himself. "Do I mom people?" he asked, raising his head to search for Eurus. In response, the cat jumped up on his back, making him sigh. "He _is_ my friend though, and I do want to help him."

With another sigh, Shiro rolled over, earning a squeak of protest from Eurus as she fell off his back.

"Sorry," he said to her, getting to his feet. He crossed to the other side of the room where his backpack leaned against the wall and pulled out the folder containing his English homework. Midterms had been earlier in the week, and the usual wall of homework had already returned.

Sitting down on the floor, Shiro began his homework. While his mind was on his work, there was a small part of him that felt a bit excited, while another small part was worried. He was looking forward to working with Matt, but he was also worried about what questions might come of it. Matt hadn't asked yet, but what if he questioned where Shiro had learned how to fight? Also, while Shiro was planning to keep contact to a minimum, what if Matt still managed to touch his arm and feel the metal beneath his sleeve? What if he was showing Matt how to punch or kick and a scar peeked out from beneath his clothes? He wasn't ready to bring up the things he often tried not to think about, and as he had concluded earlier, it wasn't currently a good time to mention anything to Matt. All he could do was hope that everything would go smoothly, and if it didn't, then he'd cross that bridge when he got to it.

* * *

A/N: One of the difficult parts of this chapter was whether or not Matt was going to explain what had happened with Quinn. I felt it would be a bit rushed to have him spill his guts about everything, though I also thought that having him withhold the story would drag out the period of questioning in which Shiro tries to understand the situation and put emphasis on a less important part of this arc. In the end, I decided to have Matt explain some of what had happened without giving out all the details, such as why Quinn targeted him, what he was called, etc. I felt this route was also a testament to Matt's trust in Shiro, as he felt comfortable enough with him to lower his guard and give out such personal details, and I think this trust will serve as a sturdy foundation for what has yet to come.


	20. Lesson 1

Hey guys! This update is a little later than I was hoping for, but I'm still working on getting into a routine for the new semester. Some of you may also be aware of the polar vortex that struck the midwestern US recently, which unfortunately caused me a lot of problems. I did manage to get another chapter written, though, thanks to yet another snow day cancellation by my high school. I still have a college class tonight but I had the time to finish editing the chapter this morning to post before I left. I found this chapter to be both fun and irritating, because I love writing wholesome interactions between these two but I also had to try to remember some technical parts of what skills Shiro is teaching to Matt. What he teaches him is actually legit skills from a self-defense lesson I attended a few months ago and should be pretty accurate in the case that any of you might try using them. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter, and I hope to have another update soon after my upcoming tests, though no later than a month from now. I know the intervals between chapters are long, and I am trying to give you guys longer chapters in return. Enjoy :)

* * *

Saturday afternoon, Shiro heard a knock on his door and got to his feet to answer. He opened the door and was met with a familiar face to which he gave a kind smile before he let his visitor in. Matt stepped inside somewhat hesitantly, a sling bag hanging off his shoulders. Shiro shut the door behind him and nodded towards the room that held what exercising equipment he had.

Originally, the pair had planned on meeting up at the gym. However, Matt had quickly grown anxious. When Shiro offered to postpone the lesson, Matt had stopped him and admitted that he'd never been to a real gym before. Partially due to his somewhat introverted tendencies and partially due to the fact that most of his hobbies related to computers and didn't require much movement, he wasn't very athletic. His lack of experience made him fear that he'd look incredibly stupid, and he didn't feel comfortable in the slightest, far from confident enough to practice where many others could see him. Shiro had soon recommended that Matt simply come to his dorm, and while Matt had originally rejected the offer since he didn't want to trouble his friend more than he already had, Shiro finally got him to cave. In the end, they decided that Matt would come over to Shiro's dorm a few times to learn the basics, then once Matt felt a little more confident in his abilities, they'd move to the gym where they'd have more room.

"You can leave your bag wherever, just make sure you won't trip on it," Shiro said, gesturing vaguely to the dorm as he picked up a medium-sized punch pad with a single strap on the back. He slid his hand under the strap, then once Matt had slipped off his shoes and put down his things, Shiro held it up and punched it somewhat lightly with his free hand. "All you need to do to start is punch this as hard as you can."

Matt leaned away, his eyebrows drawn together in a mixture of emotions. He was silent for a moment, then he frowned. "What if I miss?"

Shiro shook his head. "This thing isn't huge, but it's big enough that you could barely miss even if you tried."

"But what if I accidently hit _you_ instead?" Matt questioned, making Shiro pause. He hadn't thought about that.

"Well," Shiro began, trying his best not to hesitate. Physical attacks had the potential to throw him back in time to when he was in captivity, though he'd improved a lot since then, and even more since he'd met Matt. He also could already tell just by looking at his friend's skinny arms that any punch he threw wouldn't hurt much, and he was confident that he'd be okay. To be safe, though, he made a mental note to shift the punch pad if needed so he wouldn't have to put his theory to the test. "I think I'll live. Maybe don't try to miss thought?" Shiro suggested, a somewhat humorous smile turning up the corners of his lips.

Matt returned the small smile, though it was quick to fade. "Are you sure you're okay with this? I don't even know if I'll be able to do anything," he admitted, shoulders slumping in defeat as his gaze fell to the floor.

"Matt."

Shiro's tone was soft yet scolding, a small sigh escaping his lips before he continued. "You need to have some confidence. If you don't try, you'll never reach your goal. If you do, maybe you'll succeed, maybe you'll fail, but the fact that you tried at all will make you more experienced. Something good always comes out of trying, and that applies to anything."

Matt was silent at first, his gaze rising from the floor as he processed Shiro's words. He then slowly started to relax, his face melting back into a comfortable smile.

"Do you have a motivational speech planned for every possible scenario, or do you just come up with them at random?" he asked somewhat teasingly.

"Sometimes I plan them, sometimes they just happen," Shiro replied sarcastically, his mouth turned up in a smile. "Actually, I heard that one from a friend," he admitted.

"Smart friend," Matt remarked.

Shiro nodded. "She was."

The pair went silent for a moment, Shiro getting struck with a hot flash when he realized he'd revealed something personal. ' _She was'_ implied that she was gone. While that may have been true, Shiro didn't feel that it was time to share the details.

"Okay," Shiro began, changing the subject quickly. His slid back a foot as he took on a sturdy stance and held the punch pad in front of him. While he doubted the extra support would be needed, guessing that Matt probably couldn't knock him over with the force of a punch, he didn't want to embarrass the younger man or cripple his motivation by making his beliefs obvious. "Give it a try."

Hesitantly, Matt widened his stance slightly, then whipped a fist at the punch pad. It wasn't terrible and had enough power that it could leave a mark, but it wasn't quite good.

"Not bad," Shiro began, straightening. He pulled off the punch pad and tossed it aside for the moment, then gestured for Matt to raise his fists again. "Stand like you're about to throw another punch, then hold it."

Matt did as he was told, hesitantly raising his arms again.

"You're hands themselves are fine. A lot of people can't make a proper fist because they want to tuck their thumbs in and wrap their fingers around them when they do it. But doing that will only make you break your own thumb. So, you want to make sure your thumb is always on the outside and tucked against the _side_ of your fist, not the front. That'll also break your thumb," Shiro explained, motioning with his own hands.

Matt nodded in understanding, uncurling his fingers before making a fist again as he copied Shiro's motions.

"Now, you need to make sure your stance is stable as well. As you are-" Shiro paused, reaching out with his left arm to push lightly at Matt's shoulder, making him wobble back and forth "-you're stance is wide but not deep. Having your feet shoulder-width apart is correct, but you'll want to put one foot back so you don't get knocked over in one blow." Shiro took up the proper stance himself, one foot facing forward slightly in front of him while the other slid back slightly behind him, facing off to the side.

Matt tried to copy, and Shiro stepped in to nudge his feet into position.

"Make sure the foot that goes back is on the same side as the arm you punch with. That way you'll be able to throw a stronger punch and won't compromise your balance."

Once Matt's feet were finally set properly, almost as if he was standing on the outline of a box, Shiro stepped in front of him to demonstrate the next part.

"When you start, you want the hand you punch with to be in a fist at your hip with the side with your fingers facing up. Your other hand should be raised and in a fist in front of you."

Matt copied the stance quickly this time, rotating his wrists until his fists were positioned properly.

"For the punch itself, you're going to kind of go up and forward with your fist. You're also going to turn it so the top of your hand is facing up by the time you make contact. The torque will add more power to the punch. Make sure you're using your whole arm for this and not just your elbow, or you'll only hurt yourself." Shiro demonstrated a punch himself, though he held back on his power and slowed down so Matt could easily see what he was doing.

Matt tried once, his arm weak and sloppy.

"Try again, and make sure you put more than just your elbow into it. Try exhaling when you punch, too. It tightens your core muscles and will help you in the case that your opponent strikes back. If your muscles are tense, they can't do as much damage and you'll be able to recover and strike faster."

Matt punched again but leaned into it and nearly stumbled forward. He was quick to correct himself and try again, though he was slightly hesitant after his failures.

"Relax, Matt."

The IT student paused for a second, taking a breath, then he threw another punch, exhaling sharply as he did so.

"Good," Shiro praised, reaching for the punch pad on the ground. He slid it back onto his hand and took up his stance in front of Matt again, holding it up. "Again."

The two continued for a few minutes until Matt's punches started to grow weaker and his breaths got shallow as he grew tired.

"One more, then take a break," Shiro decided.

Matt nodded, then took in another breath before throwing his final punch, this one stronger than the previous few. He drew back, then relaxed and stepped out of his stance, allowing his arms to fall to his sides.

"One second," Shiro said, pulling the punch pad off his hand again before moving to the kitchen. He pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water before returning and giving it to Matt, who accepted it gratefully.

"Next time-" Matt gasped after downing half the glass at once "-remind me to bring a water bottle."

Shiro smiled. "I'm glad you're already planning on a next time."

Matt went a little redder than he already was, taking a sip from the glass again so he wouldn't have to respond.

"You did good, Matt. Have some more faith in yourself. You pick things up a lot quicker than you let yourself think, whether it's something physical like this or as mentally draining as calculus," Shiro complimented.

Matt shook his head. "Yeah, must be impressive for the guy who could beat up every mafia bodyguard in existence straight out of the womb," he responded sarcastically, though there wasn't any bite to his tone, no traces of negativity.

"You'd be surprised," Shiro returned, setting his hands on his hips. "At one point I couldn't even make a proper fist," he admitted.

Matt choked on the last of his water, nearly spewing it across the room before he clamped his hand over his mouth to keep it down. He coughed a few times after finally choking the water down, then looked at Shiro in disbelief. "No way."

"Yes way," Shiro said with a chuckle.

The two continued back and forth for a few minutes, their conversation lighthearted. A few times Matt tried to learn a little more about Shiro's first experiences with combat and self-defense, though after Shiro brushed the questions off with vague answers, Matt took noticed and stopped prying.

Once the red had mostly faded from Matt's cheeks and his breathing had long-since evened out, Shiro picked up the punch pad again to start the next lesson. He settled back into his low stance with the punch pad in front of him, eyes on Matt as he spoke.

"I want you to give it a kick this time, then we'll go through corrections like we did with the punch."

Matt did as he was told, giving the punch pad a solid kick. It was powerful, but Matt's wince upon impact told Shiro he probably wasn't used to kicking anything without shoes on.

"Okay," Shiro began, stepping forward to start his critique. He reached for Matt's wrists, pausing for a moment before gently grabbing them and pulling them up in front of Matt, giving his friend a moment to notice his intentions so he could pull away if he didn't feel comfortable. "Keep you arms raised up in front of you, both your hands in fists. Make sure you're not blocking your vision but still have them up high enough to keep your balance and have the ability to block your face if your opponent lashes out when you kick." Shiro then moved to Matt's side, nudging back his right foot again. "You want the foot you kick with to be back a little bit like before, but this time, point your toes forward instead of to the side."

Once Matt had the proper stance, Shiro stepped in front of him again and demonstrated the kick slowly. "You're going to do this almost in two parts when you kick. First, you raise the knee of the leg you're kicking with," he explained as he went through the motion himself, pausing with one knee in the air. "Then you raise your foot and extend your leg all at once and make impact with the ball of your foot. Make sure you don't strike with your toes, or you're going to hurt yourself rather than your opponent." He finished with a slow kick, almost like he was poking the air with his foot. "I know a lot of kicks are all about swinging your leg wherever, but this one is more like a jab."

Shiro set his foot back down, then picked up the punch pad again. "You're going to want something to hit when your practice this, otherwise the forward motion of your foot will tip you forward and make you fall," he warned, holding up the punch pad. "Give it a try."

Matt moved slowly in his first attempt, trying out the motions once before putting some power into it. His first kick was decent in form but lacked power, while his second was strong but used his toes as the impact point rather than the balls of his feet.

"Keep trying. This one typically takes a little more practice," Shiro encouraged.

Matt did as he was told, hesitant at first, but growing more confident as he landed a couple successful strikes in a row. He tired quicker than he had during the punches, already somewhat worn out from the earlier exercise, but he still got a good few minutes of practice in.

Shiro gave his friend and approving nod as he put down the punch pad again and went to refill Matt's water glass.

"I've only got a few more things I want to show you for now, and neither of them are very tiring. It's alright if you want to stop for today, though. I know this is kind of a lot to learn all at once," Shiro offered as Matt emptied his water glass.

Matt shook his head as he drank, then spoke after he finished his water. "We can keep going. Besides, my dad is doing some work right now, so we might as well do what we can while we have time."

Shiro nodded in agreement. "Okay. I can show you two of these while you take a break. They're very simple, though easy to mix up. You don't need to worry to much about stance with these. It's all about escaping a hold on your wrist," Shiro explained. "You probably won't need to use these against many people, and they're more popular in self defense classes for women against predators than anything else, though they can be useful in other situations, too."

Matt frowned. "My mom tried to get my sister to go to one of those after some boy at school started following her around everywhere trying to convince her to go out with him even though they were like, thirteen. My mom stopped pushing for it after the boy got mad and grabbed her shoulder, only for him to end up in the nurse's office after she flipped him over her shoulder onto the ground and broke his nose. Pidge actually almost got expelled for 'excessive violence' until my parents called out the principal for supporting rape culture and a few teachers backed up her actions as valid self-defense."

"Oh," Shiro responded, some shock registered on his face. "Good."

Matt cracked a smile at Shiro's response, glad to hear that his friend wasn't backing up the boy as others he knew had.

"Anyway, grab my wrist with your right hand," Shiro said, holding out his left arm.

Matt hesitantly did as he was told, wrapping his hand around Shiro's wrist in a tentative hold.

"When someone has a hold of you like this, you want to twist your wrist toward the weakest point of their grip, which is between their thumb and index finger. When they mirror you like this, if they grab your left side with their right hand or right side with their left hand so they aren't reaching across your body, you want to 'check your watch,'" Shiro explained before twisting his wrist so the flat top part faced him. He then pulled his hand from Matt's grip. "Now grab my wrist again, but hold it tightly this time," Shiro instructed.

Matt grabbed Shiro's wrist more firmly, holding tight. He seemed to struggle when Shiro's wrist twisted but his leather gloves didn't, though he didn't complain or ask if they were necessary, allowing Shiro to breathe a little easier.

Shiro repeated his movements from before, effortlessly ripping his wrist from Matt's hold with little effort. "Now you try," he said, gesturing for Matt to raise his arm so he could grab on. Shiro deliberately made his grip loose the first time so Matt could practice the motions first.

When Matt successfully pulled his hand away, Shiro grabbed his wrist again and informed him that he was going to tighten his grip. Still, Matt was able to pull away, leaving the IT student slightly surprised.

"Nicely done," Shiro said, getting a smile from Matt before he moved on to the next hold. "This time, you're grabbing my left arm with your left, so you're reaching across," Shiro explained, smoothly avoiding having Matt come into contact with his right arm.

Matt grabbed Shiro's left wrist as instructed, though this time his grip was a lot stronger from the beginning.

"In this case, you want to 'check your palm,'" Shiro explained, twisting his wrist so his palm faced him before ripping his hand away. He looked up to check Matt's face and was happy to find his friend watching with a concentrated expression. "You want to give it a try or see it again?" he asked.

"I'll try it," Matt decided, holding out his right arm.

Shiro gripped Matt's wrist somewhat roughly, then watched as Matt looked at his trapped wrist before twisting is just as Shiro had done and pulling away. The aviation couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. "Quick study," he remarked.

Matt grinned in response. "I've heard," he said, recalling Shiro's earlier words.

The two got to their feet and practiced the two moves a few more times before Shiro felt Matt had them down well enough to remember them, then he got ready for the last part of the lesson.

"This last one is something just about anyone might end up using. The scenario people like to explain it with is a bar fight, but honestly this could happen in an encounter with anyone," Shiro explained. "I want you to grab the front of my shirt up by the collar, kind of like in the movies when someone picks another person up off the ground by the front of their shirt, but with both hands."

Matt paused, looking at Shiro with a confused expression. He had raised his hands from his sides but didn't move any further.

"It's a bit awkward, I know," Shiro assured, raising a hand. "If you don't want to do it, that's fine. I could always send you a video from YouTube," he backtracked.

"No, no, it's fine," Matt said, shoving a strand of hair out of his face. It was longer than Shiro remembered, nearly reaching his shoulders. It seemed like Matt hadn't cut it since they met, as it had barely passed his ears them. Shiro had seen it fly in Matt's face quite a few times since they began, including when he was practicing the punches and kicks. The IT student had shoved it away again and again before, and he seemed to be growing irritated with it.

"One second," Shiro said, interrupting before they could continue. He held up a finger, gesturing for Matt to wait a minute as he walked out of the room and headed for his bathroom. He pulled on the side of the mirror, which opened into a medicine cabinet, and reached for the top shelf. He grabbed what he needed, closed the cabinet, then hurried back to where Matt was waiting.

Matt gave Shiro a puzzled look when the older man returned, unsure of what he was doing.

"I noticed your hair has been getting in your face quite a bit. It's gotten pretty long recently," Shiro commented, halting in the doorway when Eurus suddenly brushed past his legs. He bent over to pet her, then looked up at Matt, who was pushing his hair back from his face again.

"Yeah. I've been busy this semester and haven't had the chance to get it trimmed," he explained, frowning when his hair fell back in his face. "Cypress told me I should grow it out, but it keeps getting in the way."

"Keith had some trouble with that for a while when he was growing it out. I actually started carrying hair ties with me all the time because he always lost them when his hair was getting in his face," Shiro recalled. He held up the pack of hair ties he'd grabbed from his bathroom, ones he had found in his car after arriving on campus at the beginning of the semester. "Need one?" he asked.

"Sure," Matt agreed, slowly accepting the hair tie Shiro pulled from the pack and handed to him. The younger man attempted to pull his hair back into a ponytail, but he had clearly never done it before and kept losing strands. It was long enough to get in the way, but also short enough that it was difficult to gather together.

"You need a hand?" Shiro blurted before he could think, his mind back on the days when he'd helped Keith put his hair up because he could never do it properly himself.

Matt looked at Shiro with slightly wide eyes, his hands pausing. "Oh, um," he stuttered. He was silent for a moment, then dropped his hands. "Sure."

Shiro held out his hand, and Matt handed over the hair tie. Shiro then slowly stepped behind Matt and carefully swept the hair back from his face. He gathered up what hovered over Matt's shoulders and gently brought all of it together, careful not to pull. He tried to distract himself from noticing their proximity as he worked, Matt inches away from him. They hadn't stood that close even as Shiro taught him the different self-defense moves they'd gone over that day. However, the search for distraction only led him to notice that Matt had gotten taller since they met, too. Before, he hadn't even reached Shiro's shoulders. Now, the top of Matt's head was nearly level with Shiro's chin.

Quickly, Shiro tied Matt's hair up with the hair tie, then stepped back. "Is that alright?" he asked, walking around in front of Matt to check his work.

"Yeah, thanks," Matt said, running his hand over his hair and prodding at the ponytail.

Shiro had planned on responding, but his mouth went dry and the 'no problem' died in his throat when he took in his friend's appearance. Maybe it was the observations he had made, but Matt looked _completely_ different. He had taken off his glasses earlier during one of their breaks, and the lack of the large frames that somewhat dwarfed his face made him look less youthful. Coupled with the scar on his cheek, he looked older than Shiro remembered. The contours of his face were more visible, and his expressive eyebrows were relaxed.

"It looks good," Shiro complimented, his voice tight. He hoped Matt simply thought his voice had gone soft because he was speaking with kindness, and not because he was surprised, because he sure as hell was. While Keith looked younger with his hair back, Matt looked more mature, even as a few short locks that escaped the ponytail framed his face. He looked different but familiar all at once, as if they hadn't seen each other in ages. In reality, it was the exact opposite. He'd been around Matt so often that the changes had been too gradual for him to notice until they smacked him upside the head.

"Thanks."

Shiro was pulled from his mind by Matt's response, and the small smile his friend gave him made his chest warm up. "So," he began, hurrying to move on before he said or did anything and made a fool of himself, "the last one is an arm lock."

Matt stepped forward, still hesitant but not enough that he couldn't give the new move a try. He grabbed the front of Shiro's shirt in his fists, then watched Shiro's hands carefully as he demonstrated and explained.

"You're going to reach across with one hand and grab their same one. So I could grab your right with my right, or your left with my left," he explained. "You grab the meaty part of their hand, the part of their palm beneath their picky, and twist their hand towards yours so their palm faces up." Shiro grabbed Matt's hand and twisted slowly and gently, careful not to hurt him.

Matt lost his grip with his other hand as his whole body turned with his arm, forcing itself to move to avoid damage.

"The final step is to push down on the back of their bicep above their elbow. This will bring a person to their knees and, if you push hard enough, could break their arm." He only set his hand on Matt's bicep, not pushing to avoid hurting him at all. "You can also bend their hand back toward their arm to create more strain," he added, only nudging Matt's hand back slightly. "The more control you have, the better. You do need to be careful with this arm lock, though. Don't break their arm unless you need to, and make sure you control your pressure so you don't do it on accident." He released Matt's arm and stepped back, allowing Matt to straighten. "You think you got it?"

"I think so," Matt responded, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Okay. Could you twist my left arm, though? I think I pulled something in my right shoulder earlier and I don't want to irritate it," Shiro lied. The truth was that he didn't want Matt to grab his hand or touch his arm and feel the metal beneath. Any contact within the previous moves hadn't carried much risk, as it had only involved contact with his palm and could be excused as boniness.

"Sure," Matt agreed, oblivious but willing.

The two went through the steps slowly, Shiro stating them aloud when Matt paused until the IT student was able to do it quickly without help. He was gentle, but as Shiro had been, though Shiro trusted that Matt would be more forceful if he actually needed to use the arm lock on someone. Besides, he had barely used any pressure in his demonstration and claimed to have an injured shoulder already, so there was no way Matt would take any risk of causing him any pain.

After Matt's fifth successful attempt, the pair were interrupted by Matt's phone. The younger man's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he stepped away from Shiro to check his device, unlocking it speedily and reading over the text he had received.

"My dad says he finished early and will be here soon. I guess my mom needs something from the store for her work, so we're gonna pick it up on the way home," Matt explained as he typed a response before setting his phone on the floor next to his bag.

"Ah," Shiro said with a nod. He bent to pick up the punch pad from where he'd carelessly tossed it aside before, returning it to its spot against the wall. "When do you want to meet up next? I'm free Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, and also Friday morning."

Matt took a moment to contemplate, then shrugged. "My IT classes are pretty early in the morning Tuesdays and Thursdays, calc is Friday nights, and the rest are online. Any other time works, though probably sooner rather than later so I don't forget all this by the time we meet up again."

"How about…" Shiro paused, "Tuesday afternoon? We can meet up at the cafeteria, then come back here to practice," he offered.

Matt nodded in agreement, a smile on his face as he picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulders. "Yeah, sounds good."

Shiro finished tidying the room, returning anything they'd knocked over or used to their proper places and opening the window a little to air out and cool down the room. It was far too cold outside to open it more than a few inches, though that little bit was enough to do the job.

The pair spent the short remainder of their time discussing upcoming movies and their predictions for which ones would be good and which ones would flop in the box office. They were interrupted a few times by Eurus, who seemed adamant about taking all of Matt's attention and jumping onto his lap the moment he sat on the floor. It brought a smile to the faces of both young men, Shiro feigning hurt over the 'betrayal' while Matt laughed triumphantly.

When the two heard the telltale rumble of a car engine outside, they headed for the door. Matt slipped on his shoes while Shiro held Eurus to prevent her from swatting at the laces, then the students stepped outside together.

"Thanks again for all your help, Shiro," Matt said with a grateful smile. His eyes were brighter than they had been in days, more full of life than they had been since they first encountered Quinn.

"Anytime," Shiro responded genuinely, his expression slipping into a soft smile without him even noticing. Instead he was focused on Matt, the pair watching each other mindlessly, taking in the changes they hadn't noticed as time passed: Matt's hair and height, the fading dark circles under Shiro's eyes as he spent less time in nightmares, the way both of their bodies relaxed with a feeling of comfort in each other's presence.

When Matt finally started to turn away, hurrying to his dad's car before Sam got out to make sure they knew he was there, he glanced backward and gave Shiro a small wave over his shoulder, which Shiro returned happily. The aviation student stood in his doorway and watched Matt get in the car, then found himself contentedly watching as Sam backed the car out of the parking space and pulled out of the lot, driving out of sight.

When Shiro finally went back inside, he found Eurus pawing at something on the floor. He went to investigate and found that Matt had left his glasses behind.

"Shit!" Shiro cried, lunging toward his room where his phone was sitting on his bed. He picked it up and typed out a quick text to Matt.

 **Shiro: You forgot your glasses**

It didn't take long for Matt to respond.

 **Matt: omg I didn't even notice**

 **Matt: my mom is leaving for work in 30 mins so she needs whatever we gotta pick up asap**

 **Matt: can you bring them to ur aviation class on Monday and give them to my dad?**

 **Matt: I actually have tomorrow off work so I wont be at the IT Center**

 **Shiro: Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to go drop them off at your house?**

 **Matt: don't worry abt it**

 **Matt: I'll live**

 **Shiro: Alright**

Shiro tossed his phone back down on his bed and returned to the other room, where Eurus was sat next to Matt's glasses. It probably hadn't been a good idea to leave her alone with them while he was texting Matt, seeing as she sometimes tended to chew on things, but thankfully the glasses were unscathed. Shiro picked them up and brought them to his room, setting them carefully on the nightstand so they wouldn't get lost. He then picked up his comb and searched through his closet for a change of clothes.

As he headed for the shower, Eurus darted past his legs and into the room with his exercise equipment. Shiro followed her and glanced in to make sure Matt hadn't left anything else behind, though this time she was swatting at the pack of hair ties Shiro had abandoned on the floor.

"Oh."

He'd planned on giving the pack to Matt, seeing as he didn't need them. Keith was busy with work and school and didn't visit Shiro at the college, and there were plenty of hair ties for him back home. Lance also carried hair ties around for Keith's sake, a habit he had picked up from Shiro, so Keith wouldn't miss the pack Shiro currently had.

Eurus batted the hair ties toward Shiro as if she was reading his mind, making his lip quirk up in a smile.

"The ponytail does suit him well," he agreed, picking up the pack and taking them to his room, where he set them next to Matt's glasses.

Eurus jumped up on the bed and let out a loud meow, demanding his attention. She reached out to bat at his hand, giving him the cat equivalent of an annoyed scowl.

"What?" he asked, unsure of what she was trying to tell him. Unfortunately, since she was a cat, she couldn't exactly say it. Instead, Shiro was left looking at her in confusion as she stared at him before flopping down on the pillow and yawning loudly.

Shiro frowned, though he still reached out to scratch her head before making his way to his bathroom to take a shower, shaking his head as he wondered why the hell he had such a strange cat.


	21. Courage and Fear

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is a couple days later than I'd hoped. My schedule is kicking my ass per usual, and I ended up pushing this update back to march 6th from the end of last week due to a big exam that followed four others that were all in one week. Unfortunately I had to push the update back AGAIN to today due to a fender bender on my way to school where someone slid into me at an intersection. All is good now, though. The chapter is a little shorter than I'd hoped for, and while I have a lot of work to catch up on following my exams, I do have spring break coming up soon and am aiming for two updates in this next month if I can pull it off. If not, I plan to at least make the next chapter a bit longer than usual to make up for it. Again, I'm sorry for the long time between chapters. I've just got a lot to do and am trying to make sure I don't force the story too much by prioritizing update speed over the content itself. Thank you to everyone who has followed the story so far and understands my situation. I hope you all continue to read until the end and enjoy the story on the way there.

* * *

It took three more lessons for Matt to finally feel comfortable enough with what he'd been taught for them to move to the gym. He was clearly anxious when he arrived, drumming his fingers on his legs as he entered the building for the first time ever. It made Shiro want to reach out and grab his hands to stop their movement, but he figured that would only make Matt more uncomfortable and draw strange looks from the few other people who were around.

The pair had agreed to meet up in the middle of the day on Sunday when there was almost no one there, just a week after their first lesson. Matt had learned quickly, causing Shiro to recommend that they move to the gym sooner than originally planned so they'd have more space. Matt had been a bit hesitant, and while Shiro respected that, he also made sure Matt knew that he'd improved significantly since the first lesson and had nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Hey," Shiro greeted, giving Matt a kind smile. It made the younger man relax somewhat, causing Shiro to smile wider. "Let's put our bags in the locker room, then I'll show you where we're going."

Shiro led Matt into the men's locker room near the front desk, putting both his duffel bag and Matt's sling bag into a locker that he secured with a combination lock. They also left Matt's glasses and their jackets in there, as they'd worn them for the chill of the autumn wind outside but had no need for them inside.

The two made their way to the back of the gym where a multi-purpose wrestling-type room was. The floor was heavily padded and convenient for anything that involved a lot of powerful impacts, throwing, or potential falls.

"Since we have more room, I want you to practice your blocks while also incorporating movement," Shiro decided, stretching his arms out behind him. He settled into a low stance a few feet in front of Matt. "You've got them down pretty good when you're stationary, but if you end up in a real fight, there's going to be a lot more movement. You need to be able to get out of the way and meet attacks in a way that allows you to block or deflect them easily. Being more mobile will also increase your chances of escape."

Matt tightened the messy ponytail behind his head before he sank into his own stance, feet shoulder-width apart, one slightly further back than the other, knees bent, and head up. He gave Shiro a nod, and the older man lunged forward.

Shiro held back on both speed and power with his attacks while they warmed up a bit, Matt working to avoid every strike while also remembering to move. He was a bit shaky at first, but quickly began to get the hang of it. He struggled a bit as Shiro held back a little less, but still managed to catch his fists, smack his arms to change the course of an attack, and duck to dodge the attacks he could.

The two spent nearly three hours practicing, Shiro bringing up old skills from previous lessons and mixing them in with new skills. Matt wasn't perfect, but his abilities were still impressive. Once he started to relax and stopped thinking about whether or not he looked sloppy as he worked, he improved drastically. It didn't surprise Shiro too much, seeing as he already knew how skilled Matt had already become. The IT student wasn't half-assing anything, and he was legitimately trying to learn. That was far more effort than a lot of people put into anything, let alone fighting. Too many people believed they could simply embrace their inner Bruce Lee if they ever needed to, unaware of how difficult it was to actually use any technique related to combat successfully. Even punching and kicking was a lot more than throwing out a limb as hard as possible and hoping for the best.

As the two prepared to call it a day, Shiro decided to throw in a little surprise for Matt to keep him on his toes. Most of their lesson that day had revolved around motion and dodging, as well as counterstrikes, but it had all been aimed at the upper body. It took a lot to efficiently use both arms and legs in a fight, though it was an important skill to master. While Shiro didn't want to suddenly dump a new technique on Matt just as they were finishing for the day, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to give him a taste of what the next lesson would include, should he want to continue.

When Matt dodged a punch by Shiro and stepped forward to return it, Shiro suddenly dropped to the floor and kicked, sweeping out Matt's legs from under him. The IT student's eyes went wide as he crashed to the floor, then he frowned at Shiro.

"Unfair," Matt accused, crossing his arms.

Shiro chuckled, offering up his left hand. "Yes, unfair, sorry," he said.

Matt took Shiro's hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, then he reached back to tighten his pony tail, which had loosened during the lesson and released a few strands around his face. "You need to show me how to do that, though," he said. "You don't get to do something cool then _not_ show me how to do it."

"Patience, young one," Shiro stated sarcastically in a poor imitation of an old, wise man. "I'll show you how to do it next time," he promised, dropping the imitation. "For now, we're done for the day."

Matt sighed, dropping his head back and squinted up at the ceiling. " _Good_. I've been blind for the past three hours. I can barely even see you," he complained, rubbing at his eyes. You're just a blob right now. Like, a really fast blob that could break someone's arm with one finger."

"Just don't forget your glasses again. They barely escaped Eurus when you left them behind last week, and I'm not sure that you'd see them again if you leave them in the locker room here. Someone will probably step on them," Shiro predicted. He'd brought Matt's glasses to class the Monday after their first lesson and gave them to Sam. Shiro had nearly broken them a good four times before he finally reached Matt's father, who laughed when he realized that Matt not wearing his glasses for two days hadn't been a choice. It seemed he'd never told Sam that he'd left them at Shiro's, perhaps out of embarrassment over being forgetful.

The two returned to the locker room for their things, Matt jumping up on the bench in front of the lockers to dab after he finally had his glasses back on, making Shiro drop his head in a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. The two made sure they had all their things before they left, Shiro walking Matt to the IT center to meet up with Sam and be taken home.

The pair was silent for most of their walk, eyes on the world around them. It was sunny, but the wind carried a biting cold that cut through their jackets and chilled Shiro's arm until it throbbed. He did his best to keep a neutral face, though the throb was worse than usual since he had just exercised. The combined discomfort from the extended use and aching cold made him wish he had a pack of Tylenol in his pocket.

Matt seemed to notice that something was off about Shiro, narrowing his eyes at his friend with a small frown on his face. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking Shiro over in search of any source of discomfort until his eyes landed on Shiro's arm. "Does your shoulder still hurt?"

Shiro twitched, a balloon of anxiety suddenly inflating in his chest when he saw Matt eye his arm, only for it to explode and disappear when Matt spoke. Shiro felt bad that he had lied to Matt during their first training session, though he felt worse about dragging it out. While he didn't feel ready to share his secrets, Matt had trusted him with a few major personal stories. While Shiro knew that didn't mean he had to reveal his deepest secrets, he believed that was all more the reason to be honest with Matt. It may have been a harmless lie, but it was still a lie, and Matt didn't deserve to be lied too.

"Uh, yeah, a little," Shiro said quietly, wincing at how easily the words poured from his mouth. He caught Matt looking at him a bit guiltily and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, it's fine," he promised, waving away his friend's guilt. If only he could wave away his own that easily.

As Matt turned to face forward again, his gaze leaving Shiro's face, Shiro sighed internally. He apologized to Matt in his head as if the words could reach his friend without being spoken aloud. He wasn't entirely sure why he had worked himself up so much over a harmless fib, though part of him knew it was because he was well aware of how much one could inflate. He'd seen little meaningless lies result in a heavy price that took an eternity to recover from and were impossible to heal. He'd seen the slippery slope, what it could do, and had hated every lie ever told since then.

"So, when do you want to teach me that leg-sweepy thing?" Matt asked, pulling Shiro from his thoughts.

The older man was slightly caught off-guard, and he ended up staring at Matt blankly for a moment until the IT students kicked his leg out slowly and tapped Shiro's calf.

"Oh, uh, whenever," Shiro replied slowly, blanking as he searched his memory for any important events he had coming up.

"Welllllll," Matt dragged out, furrowing his brow as he thought to himself. "I'll just text you about it later. My brain is melted," he complained. "How do people exercise regularly without, like, dying? I just want to eat everything on the planet and take a nap. Or eat everything _and_ nap. Just lay down on the floor with a blanket and some chips."

"That's not healthy," Shiro commented. "In any way, shape, or form. I'm pretty sure laying down while eating is a choking hazard, too."

Matt shook his head. "See, and that is where _my_ skills come in. Once one has mastered the art of eating while laying down, watching vines when it's cold out is that much easier."

Shiro raised an eyebrow. "Should I be concerned?" he asked.

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I am a master of-"

Matt was cut off by the sudden sound of a car horn that made them both jump. It instantly put them on edge, freezing and whipping their heads toward the source.

"Sorry!" Sam called, rolling down the window of his car. He poked his head out and gave a wave. "I leaned over the steering wheel to grab the mail I left in the corner of the windshield, and I must have hit the horn."

"Thanks for the heart attack!" Matt groaned loudly, clutching his chest. He looked to Shiro, who had his eyes closed. "Shiro?"

Shiro shook his head and opened his eyes, giving Matt a small smile. "I'm fine. Sudden loud noises make me jumpy," he stated casually in an attempt to play off his nerves. Every fiber of his being wanted to tremble, and it took everything he had to stay steady. He caught Sam shooting him a concerned look and gave the man a wave. As one of his instructors, he knew Shiro struggled with his mental health. However, unlike Shiro's official instructors, such as Con and his mechanics professor, Sam didn't know exactly what that entailed. Not wanting either of the Holts to worry for him, he gave the man a wave to diffuse his concern before returning his attention to Matt. "I didn't even realize we were already at the IT Center."

"Tis' the price I pay for my horizontal eating habits," Matt stated solemnly, though the grin that broke out on his face halfway through the sentence gave away his sarcasm.

Shiro let out an amused huff at his friend's odd humor. "Text me later and we can find a time to meet up again," he said, taking a step back. As much as he enjoyed spending time with the Holts, his anxiety had yet to fade and it was getting harder to hide his hyperawareness. The sooner he got back to his dorm, the better.

Matt gave a nod, then jumped off the sidewalk and circled around to the passenger side of Sam's car. He gave Shiro a wave as he opened the passenger door, then got in the car and turned his attention to his father.

Shiro watched the pair go, then once the car was out of sight, he let himself relax. His hands tremored at his sides, and he took a few shaky breaths to steady himself before crossing his arms against the cold and heading for his dorm

-000-

Back in his dorm, Shiro shut the door and leaned heavily against it. He tipped his head back, letting it rest again the cool surface as he sighed heavily. His hands still trembled at his sides, his senses heightened. All he'd done is walk back to his dorm, but he felt completely drained. The sudden sound of the car horn had flipped a switch in his brain that wouldn't turn off no matter how measured and slow his breathing was.

Sloppily kicking off his shoes, Shiro stumbled to his bedroom and dropped down on his bed without bothering to change out of his gym clothes. He'd need to shower and change later for sure, but at the moment he didn't even have the energy to get up. Instead he let his weary eyes slip shut, heavy body sinking into the mattress as if it was made of lead.

Eurus jumped up on the bed beside him, the creak of the springs making his eyes fly open and his muscles twitch. A dull throb pulsed in his back, and his right arm felt like a tender bruise as the metal warmed slowly and the chill stopped attacking his flesh. Everything ached from the cold and the tension, and his racing heart seemed to be draining every ounce of willpower he had until he was simply laying in a tired daze, drifting slowly off to sleep.

When Shiro's phone vibrated with a message twenty minute later, it went completely unnoticed by the fatigued aviation student buried in oblivion.

-000-

Monday afternoon, on his way out of the aviation classroom, Shiro was stopped by Con.

"Shirogane, could I have a word with you?" the man asked, nodding toward the back of the classroom.

Shiro nodded and followed, unsure of why he was being called aside. He'd been doing fine in his classes recently, so there was no way he was in trouble for anything. That eased his worry, though he still felt a bit uneasy being so unsure of what was going on.

Con eyed the remaining students, waiting until they finally left to return his gaze to Shiro.

"The university has decided that it would like to expand the aviation program here due to the growing pilot shortage worldwide and the limited number of schools that offer training. We're doing a recruitment fair for both university students and the public to try to get more people interested in the program. We plan to open up the option of discovery flights to anyone who is interested, and the president of the university has asked the other instructors and I to find candidates to do the flights. We were told to handpick our best, most capable students," the instructor explained.

Shiro raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised. He was experienced and a good pilot, but he never thought much about whether he was better than his many peers or not. Part of him wanted to challenge Con, though he knew better and instead decided to take the compliment with a nod.

"I'm aware that you aren't much of a social person, but I think you'd be good for the discovery flights. You're skilled, focused, and polite. I expect no less from my students, but there are plenty who fail to meet my expectations. I won't force you to do this, and I have a few other students in mind who could do the discovery flights if you don't want to, but I want you to at least consider it. You're the best pilot I have, and it is the best that people need to see if they are going to be inspired to join the program."

Shiro was silent for a moment, contemplating. He loved flying and was more than happy to do discovery flights if it meant getting more people into aviation. His fear was the people themselves and how they might react when a hulking mass of a man with a scar across his face showed up and said he was their pilot. The last thing he wanted was for people to be intimidated by him and back out.

Con seemed to pick up on Shiro's hesitancy and clapped his shoulder. "The fair isn't until Friday, so why don't you take a day to decide and give me your answer Wednesday before class? That way I have time to talk to the other students if you decide not to fly," the older man offered.

Shiro nodded. "Thank you, sir."

Con gave Shiro a rare smile that cracked his typical serious expression for just a moment before he headed out of the room, Shiro following behind him.

-000-

 **Shiro: I might need to postpone your next lesson**

 **Shiro: Con asked for my help with discovery flights for a recruitment fair on Friday. I'm not sure how long it'll last, but I might not be able to meet up afterward**

 **Matt: That's fine**

 **Matt: My dad told me about the fair this morning and I figured u would probably get picked since ur one of the favs**

 **Matt: I was actually gonna ask u abt it today**

 **Shiro: I'm not sure that I'm going to do it yet, so there's still a chance I can make it**

 **Matt: Why not?**

 **Matt: Ur gonna get loads of free flight time isnt that the dream of aviation students**

 **Matt: My dad told me abt the hourly rate for those planes and oOF**

 **Matt: idk how anyone can afford that on top of tuition**

 **Shiro: True, but I don't know if it's a good idea**

 **Matt: Whyyyyyy**

 **Matt: u can impress people w ur ninja flight skills**

 **Shiro: Flying has nothing to do with ninjas**

 **Matt: I mean it COULD**

 **Shiro: No, it really doesn't**

 **Matt: -_-**

 **Matt: Seriously tho y not**

 **Matt: I mean u don't have to tell me if u don't want to**

 **Matt: But if ur doubting urself im gonna steal ur cat**

 **Shiro: How would that solve anything**

 **Matt: because it would**

 **Shiro: Should I be worried**

 **Matt: Naaaaaah**

Shiro stared at his phone hesitantly, fingers hovering above the keyboard. Matt had enough going on with the whole Quinn situation, even though not much had happened recently. The last thing he needed was Shiro's burdens, especially something as minor as insecurities. While Shiro knew Matt would be more than happy to talk to him about it, he didn't feel it would be fair to Matt.

A vibration drew Shiro's attention, and he blinked to find that his screen had timed out. He hurriedly turned it back on and typed in the passcode, opening the conversation again. As if Matt had been reading his mind, the IT student sent a text that summed up Shiro's worries in just a few words.

 **Matt: Ur worried abt smth aren't u**

Shiro stared for a moment, his brow furrowing. He could deny Matt's accusation, or he could be honest. Either way, the conversation wouldn't end where it was. Even though Matt wouldn't prod him much for an explanation, he could easily take a guess and hit the nail on the head. Regardless of how open Shiro was willing to be, Matt wasn't going to let him walk away from the conversation with doubts that easily.

 **Shiro: I'm not sure that people would react well to a huge guy with a scar across his face showing up and saying he's their pilot**

 **Matt: No one is going to run away screaming just because their pilot looks like post-serum Steve Rodgers with a facial scar**

 **Shiro: In no way do I look like Chris Evans**

 **Matt: Yeah u do ur both big muscle dudes**

 **Matt: Doritos**

 **Shiro: What?**

 **Matt: U both have the shoulder to waist ratio of a dorito**

 **Shiro: Thanks?**

 **Matt:** **?**

 **Matt: Seriously though, don't worry about it**

 **Matt: Even if someone were to get intimidated, as soon as you starting talking they'll know ur nice**

 **Matt: *start phone wtf**

 **Shiro: That doesn't do much to stop the potential intimidation problem**

 **Matt: Shiro**

 **Matt: It will be FINE**

 **Matt: You love flying, and so will the people who go on the flights**

 **Matt: If they get intimidated, their loss**

 **Matt: People should know better than to judge based on appearance**

 **Shiro: The university is putting a lot into planning though. I don't want to hurt their efforts**

 **Shiro: I'm also not exactly a people person either**

The conversation paused there, and Shiro stared at his unmoving screen with a cold flower blossoming in his chest. There was something unnerving about a break in conversation, a growing worry that the other person might have decided that they were done. While Shiro knew Matt wasn't the kind of person to suddenly leave mid-conversation unless he had a really good reason, he still worried that Matt may be growing tired if his complaining. Everything Matt had said about Shiro's love for flying and how people shouldn't be judgmental was true, but it was clear that nothing would completely shake Shiro's worry. Shiro wouldn't blame Matt for deciding that he was fighting a losing battle.

As Shiro started to consider sending an email to Con stating he didn't think he could do the flights, his phone vibrated again.

 **Matt: I just talked to my dad abt the aviation fair**

 **Matt: He asked my sister if she could help with setup but she's got another project to do**

 **Matt: Ig im gonna help w that so I could find u when I'm done**

 **Matt: idk anything abt planes but then you don't need to worry about standing around by urself or smth**

 **Matt: I'm sure people won't find u intimidating if they see you having a casual conversation with the ultimate spaghetti noodle**

 **Matt: aka ya boi**

 **Shiro: What**

 **Matt: Tis' me, thy spaghetti noodle**

 **Shiro: Okay?**

 **Matt: One day you will understand the art of shitpost humor**

 **Shiro: Probably not**

 **Matt: Yes u will**

 **Matt: Just like ur gonna do the flights**

 **Matt: Bcuz u like flying and ik u want to see other people see how gr8 it is**

 **Matt: You may be twice my size but if u try hiding in ur dorm I will drag ur whole ass to the plane**

 **Shiro: I don't even know if that's physically possible**

 **Matt: idc**

 **Matt: if u didn't want to do this I wouldn't encourage it, but I know u well enough to know u want to**

 **Matt: All u said is ur afraid of what other people will think**

 **Matt: Theres nothing to be afraid of**

 **Matt: U have nothing to worry about**

 **Matt: And if anyone tries to back out ill drag THEIR ass into the plane**

Shiro let out an amused huff.

 **Shiro: Thanks, Matt**

 **Matt: ofc**

 **Matt: ur out here showing me that I don't need to be afraid of quinn**

 **Matt: so ill show u that u don't need to be afraid of what other people think of u**

Shiro found himself smiling softly as he read over Matt's messages once, then twice, then again. Here Matt was, dragging him to his feet again even as he struggled with his own problems. His words were kind and genuine, his last two texts striking deep in Shiro's heart. Since he'd first heard of Quinn when he'd watched Matt tremble in the cold night out of fear of the person he'd seen in the library, Shiro had wanted nothing more than for Matt to feel safe. That's why every time he saw Quinn, he'd nudge Matt in the other direction, why he was teaching him how to defend himself. He hadn't been sure that he'd done much to help, but it seemed Matt had gotten the message. It made feel Shiro feel warm for the first time in a while.

Closing the messenger app, Shiro pulled up his email and typed Con's name into the address bar.

-000-

Wednesday after his English class, Shiro returned to the aviation building to meet with Con and talk about the upcoming aviation recruitment fair. They set up his schedule, where he'd pick up the potential new recruits, how long the discovery flights were, and went over anything else he needed to know.

Meanwhile, Matt worked with Cypress in the IT Center. The pair had been on their own since the morning, Rift out teaching a class and no one else scheduled to work. It wasn't very busy, so they didn't mind. However, a third hand would have been helpful during their lunch breaks when one was left to cover the counter and work alone. It was difficult to try to fix something without getting focused to the point that they wouldn't notice customers or hear the bell ring.

While Cypress was on her lunch break, Matt was just barely balanced between his focus on his work and his surroundings when he heard the bell from the counter. He raised his head, then froze when his eyes landed on a familiar face.

Standing at the counter was none other than Quinn, smug smile plastered on his lips as he raised up a broken phone and wagged it at Matt.

Instead of the usual kind smile he wore for most customers, Matt's expression was blank. He stood slowly, then approached the counter silently. Quinn set down the phone and slid it over to Matt, who picked it up without taking his eyes off Quinn.

"What seems to be the problem?" Matt asked, tone empty. It was devoid of everything and anything, not a trace of fear, anger, or any other emotion seeping from it.

"Looks like I dropped it a few too many times. I don't think it wants to see me anymore," Quinn replied, tone low and dangerous.

Matt glanced down at the phone momentarily as he tapped the home button to no avail, then looked back up at Quinn. He had picked up on Quinn's implication easily, though he poured all his energy into remaining a blank slate. If Quinn couldn't read him, he wouldn't feel confident enough in his ability to instill fear and act on Matt.

"Do you have your student ID?"

Quinn grinned darkly. "Really? I think you already know what you need to."

"Student ID?" Matt repeated firmly, holding out a hand expectantly.

Quinn's grin slipped momentarily, then settled back into the smug smile he'd worn when he first arrived as he pulled his wallet from his pocket, slid his ID out, and set it not-so-gently in Matt's hand.

Matt grabbed a bag and a marker, his gaze still on Quinn, only looking away to glance at the ID. It was true that he already knew almost everything he needed to write, but he refused to give Quinn the satisfaction of knowing that. Eyes on Quinn, Matt uncapped the marker and scribbled the other student's information on a notepad before sliding the ID back across the counter. He slid the broken phone into the bag with the sheet from the notepad, then sealed it all shut. He wrote the date on the bag, the set down the marker and stepped back from the counter, not once breaking away from Quinn's gaze.

"Come back on Friday for pickup," Matt ordered. He then turned and stepped away, only for Quinn to call out again.

"I hope you can fix it. I would _love_ to see it again."

Matt stopped, face twitching. He made sure his expressionless mask was back in place before he turned his head to look over his shoulder.

"Maybe," he said. "But some things are beyond saving."

Without another word, Matt continued to the back room. He turned the corner as soon as he got there and set Quinn's phone on the shelf. However, instead of going back out to continue working on the disassembled computer he'd been fixing before Quinn came in, he remained in the back room out of sight with a hand over his racing heart as he breathed slowly through the tightness in his chest. He stood there until the sound of footsteps reached his ears, then Cypress was leaning through the doorway with a confused look on her face.

"What're you doing?" she asked, stepping back as Matt hesitantly stepped into the doorway. He discreetly glanced at the counter and let out a silent sigh of relief when he found it empty.

"Just thought I forgot about something," Matt mumbled as he returned to his project. He caught Cypress looking at him with a raised eyebrow that showed she didn't buy a word he said, though she said nothing.

For the rest of his shift, Matt did what he could despite the lingering tremor in his hands.


	22. Not so Fair

A/N: Ahhh! Sorry I didn't get to do a double update. I didn't end up with as much free time during break as I'd hoped for, and school has been pretty brutal in terms of work since it started up again. In the end, I decided to condense the second of the two chapters I'd planned to write over break and add it to the first. I have to go to work, but I hope you guys enjoy the chapter still, and thanks for reading.

*note: for anyone who is curious, the inspiration for Quinn came from a kid in my grade at school who literally vandalized school property by spray painting homophobic, transphobic, and racist hate speech on it

* * *

Shiro's Friday morning started with a heavy sigh as he opened his laptop and was met with a black screen.

"Really?" he mumbled sleepily, pushing the power button and swiping his finger all over touchpad for good measure. Nothing happened. There was no time to go to the IT Center, as the aviation fair was set to begin in half an hour. That was just enough time for Shiro to reach the aero park where the fair was happening.

Eurus yawned loudly from behind Shiro on his bed, purring contentedly when Shiro reached back to scratch her chin.

"Should I drop it off after the discovery flights, or do you think the IT Center will be closed by then?" Shiro asked Eurus, pulling his laptop shut and setting it aside.

Eurus simply stared at first, angry that he'd stopped petting her. She then stood and waddled to his nightstand where she batted at his phone.

"I can't ask Matt. He's helping with the aviation fair."

Eurus blinked, then slapped at his phone once again before flopping down on his pillow.

Shiro shook his head and reached for the phone, bringing it life with a tap of the power button. There were a few messages from Matt waiting for him.

 **Matt: I got here really early**

 **Matt: My dad insisted on waking up at 5am kill me**

 **Matt: Text me when you get here**

 **Matt: Set up didn't take too long so now I have nothing to do**

 **Matt: Are you coming today?**

 **Matt: If you back out imma steal Eurus and drag ur whole ass to the hangar**

Shiro let out an amused huff as he typed out a reply.

 **Shiro: I got up a bit late, but I'm about to head over. Please don't steal Eurus, she'll eat your glasses. Also, good luck dragging me anywhere. I weigh at least twice what you do**

Matt's reply came quickly.

 **Matt: Watch me**

 **Matt: I have the power of god and anime on my side**

 **Shiro: Is that one of those vine things**

 **Matt: :0 ur learning**

 **Shiro: I'll see you soon, Matt**

Shiro chuckled quietly as he set his phone down and got to his feet. He quickly changed into his aviation uniform, smoothed out his hair, brushed his teeth, gathered his things, and grabbed a few granola bars for the road.

"Be good, Eurus," he warned, eyeing his cat as he laced up his dress shoes. Eurus simply watched as he got to his feet and went out the door, the cat returning to Shiro's room as the man's footsteps faded.

-000-

Shiro reached the aero park minutes before eight, head swiveling as he searched for Con. He quickly located the man at a table near the entrance with a handful of pamphlets.

"Hello, sir," Shiro greeted, straightening his uniform.

Con's eyes trailed over Shiro for a moment before he grunted his approval. "Good job remembering the uniform. I already had to send a few of the others back for theirz because they forgot them."

Shiro nodded, folding his gloved hands behind his back as Con set down his pamphlets and began to rummage through a box under the table. He pulled out a large folder packed with papers and handed the entire thing to Shiro.

"Commander Holt will be running sign-ups for discovery flights. Take these to him and help him set the sheets up. The sign up will be digital and linked the phones of the pilots, but anyone who wishes to do a flight must sign a consent form in case of emergency. We don't want any accidents, but this fair is for promoting aviation. Earning the school a lawsuit would do the opposite of what we want. Also, the folder has papers containing basic descriptions of the flights, as well as our aviation program, for anyone who might be interested," Con explained, opening the folder and flipping through all the different sheets. "Let Commander Holt know that I have extra copies if he runs out."

"Yes, sir," Shiro replied, accepting the folder from Con.

"Good. After you get these papers to Commander Holt, his son will connect your phone to the flight sign ups," Con ordered. "If you have any questions about anything electronic, ask him."

Shiro smiled slightly at the mention of Matt, then gave Con a nod before heading off in search of the Holts. A glance at his phone told him he had only a few minutes left until the fair opened, so he broke into a light jog as he searched the hallways of the aero park building for two familiar faces.

"Shiro!"

Shiro's head whipped to the side and his legs stumbled to a halt at the sound of his name. He found Matt waving at him from a table near he back entrance of the main lobby.

"Sorry I'm not very early. Where's Sam? Con asked me to give him these sheets," Shiro explained, waving the folder in the air.

"He just left to put up some signs for the discovery flights. The school decided to put the sign-up table here because there's a good view of the runway, but we might be a little too hard to find without guidance."

Shiro nodded in agreement, setting the folder on the table. He then slipped off his backpack, which contained homework and his computer, before starting to lay out the papers from the folder. The flights wouldn't start until about half an hour into the fair, and pilots would have short breaks between their flights so the planes could be inspected for safety. Con had encouraged that Shiro talk to visitors whenever possible but had also warned that Shiro might have some extra downtime. He'd recommended bringing some homework to do while he waited, thus why Shiro had planned on bringing his laptop, though that plan had almost literally gone up in smoke.

"I was supposed to help my dad here at the sign-up table in case the tech went down, but the second-year aviation student recruited to lead visitors to and from the flights said he was sick and couldn't do it. I've been in the hangars a few times with my dad, so I guess I'll be filling in for him," Matt commented, peeking out the large window behind them to see the hangar.

"Really?" Shiro responded with slight surprise, lining up the last of the sheets. He didn't know Matt had ever actually been to the aero park campus even though Sam worked there. He'd assumed that Matt was usually at the IT Center.

"It's pretty nice in there, but the Wi-Fi is terrible," Matt complained, crossing his arms with a sigh.

Shiro huffed with amusement, shaking his head as he took a seat behind the table and opened his bag. He pulled out his busted laptop and set it on his lap as he searched for a pencil.

"Oh, give me your phone. I gotta' sync it with the sign-up sheet," Matt remembered as his eyes landed on Shiro's laptop. The aviation student set his laptop on the floor next to his bag and stood, digging his phone from his pocket to hand it over. He stopped only to type in the passcode.

"Thanks," Shiro stated as Matt swiped and tapped at his phone, quickly pulling up the sign-up sheet. The IT students tested the link by typing gibberish on the computer on the table which held the source document, then smiled when the changes appeared on Shiro's phone just moments later.

"I can sync your laptop to get notifications, too. That way you can do homework without worrying about losing track of time and missing a flight," Matt offered as he handed Shiro's phone back.

Shiro shook his head. "That's okay. It actually isn't working again. I'll drop it off tomorrow after the IT Center opens, since I'll probably be here late." Usually he had his mechanics class later in the evening, but Con had spoken to his professor and gotten him out of the class for the night so he could focus on the fair. Since Shiro was a diligent student, his mechanics professor didn't mind at all and had even offered to help him catch up the following Monday if needed.

"Want me to work on it? I brought my tools in case the sign-up computer went down, and I'll have a lot of downtime during flights that I could work on it. I know everyone working today is supposed to talk to visitors about the program to help with recruitment, but as the computer nerd in residence, I could play candy crush on my phone the whole time for all the school cares," Matt explained.

Shiro raised his eyebrows in surprise, then picked up his computer and held it out for Matt. "Uh. That'd be great. If you could. Don't worry about it if you get busy, though."

Matt smiled and accepted the laptop, his eyes lighting up as he quickly scrutinized the outside before reaching for his tool bag.

Shiro didn't notice the content smile that settled onto his face as he watched Matt work until a familiar voice called out to them.

"Hey, you two. Good morning, Shiro," Sam greeted, a role of tape in one hand and a medium-sized poster in the other. The man crouched in front of the sign-up table and taped the last poster to the front below the laptop, then he tossed the rest of the tape in a storage bin under the table.

"Good morning, sir," Shiro replied, his expression shifting into a polite smile. He saw Matt give his father a small wave as if it was an afterthought, not once looking up from Shiro's laptop. The younger man was clearly engrossed in his work.

Sam shook his head at his son, though his lips were turned up in a smile. His gaze moved to the papers on the table.

"Those are the consent forms and informational sheets from Instructor Con. He asked me to give them to you, but I set them out since you were busy. Everything should be there, and if you run out of papers, Con should have more," Shiro explained, waving a hand over the tall stacks.

Sam nodded. "Thank you, Shiro. I hear you're taking the first flight today?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. We'll be loading up in thirty minutes unless no one signs up before them. Each flight is twenty minutes with a predicted ten minutes of wait time before taking off and after landing. There are three of us doing the flights with four people to a plane including the pilot, so we should be able to get quite a few people in the air today," Shiro explained.

"Good luck, and stay safe," Sam said, then the echoes of voices reached their ears as the doors opened and visitors entered the building.

-000-

As planned, Shiro was headed out for his first flight thirty minutes after the doors opened. His first group contained three high school students who had been a bit shy around Shiro in the beginning. They'd been rather quiet at first, not quite willing to talk to anyone but Matt, but after Matt kept looking to and talking to Shiro, the students had relaxed a bit and started including him.

When the group reached Shiro's plane, Shiro and Matt helped the three inside and checked their doors, then Matt double-checked Shiro's after the older man got in the plane. The IT student gave his friend a smile and a thumbs up, which Shiro returned, then Matt jogged back to the main building while Shiro got the plane in motion.

The flight wasn't too eventful, the kids asking a few questions only before take-off. They were far more excited by the view once they got in the air and didn't talk to Shiro much. He only had to ask them not to move so much once, careful to assure they wouldn't slip out of their seatbelts.

By the time the group reached the ground, the kids were talking excitedly. Their eyes were full of light as Shiro herded them back to the building and gathered up his next crew with the help of Matt.

To Shiro's relief, no one was as intimidated by him as he expected. Those who looked at him with unease calmed down a bit as Matt and Shiro talked to them, and no one's fear remained by the end of the flight. A few younger children had even convinced Shiro to give them a fist bump, while older kids had asked about how he got into the program and how they could sign up.

By the time his lunch break arrived at nearly two in the afternoon, Shiro had yet to have a bad encounter. The biggest issue he'd encountered was a kid who had been too excited and nearly fell getting out of the plane but had caught herself at the last second. Her mother scolded her and apologized to Shiro, who was simply glad that the girl was okay. He'd had a few good encounters that stuck out to him too, including a little girl who returned to the discovery flight table shortly after going up in the plane with her parents and gave Shiro a colorful scribble of what appeared to be him standing in front of his plane with a smile on his face. He'd accepted the drawing with a smile, and carefully deposited it in his backpack.

"I think you should invest in a better laptop," Matt admitted through a mouthful of McDonalds fries as he ate with Shiro during the pilot's lunch break. The pair were seated alone in the staff break room.

Shiro frowned. "Is it beyond repair?" he asked.

Matt shook his head. "I can fix it, I just need to find a few parts. It's old, though, and some programs will just stop working because they're no longer supported. Also, you'd be better off with something a little more reliable," he explained.

Shiro nodded, tossing the plastic container from his sandwich into a nearby recycling bin.

"I guess. Money's a bit tight, though, so it'll probably be a while before I can get a new one," he explained, cringing as he thought about how expensive some of the computers he'd looked into had been.

"There's some used ones online that are in good shape. Want me to let you know if I find any that aren't as expensive?" Matt offered.

"Uh, sure. Thanks," Shiro replied, checking his phone. He felt as if he'd just sat down, but only five minutes remained in his break. He quickly stood and brushed a few crumbs from his uniform, which he straightened out carefully.

"Is it time for you to go back out?" Matt asked, poking at the last of his fries. When Shiro nodded, the IT student grabbed the remaining fries in his container and practically inhaled them. He wiped his hands on a napkin and gathered all his trash, which he tossed in a nearby bin before looking to Shiro.

"You didn't need to rush," Shiro commented, earning a shrug from Matt.

"Would you rather see me bring my fries back out to the table and get greasy salt everywhere?" Matt countered.

Shiro nodded. "True."

The pair made sure they were free of grease and crumbs before they returned to the sign-up table. It wasn't long before they were walking Shiro's next group out to the hangar and loading up. Unfortunately, they encountered a bit of an issue when one of the visitors got cold feet.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to go up, but, uh… I'm actually really afraid of heights. I don't think I can do it," the visitor explained, his breaths short and quick.

"It's okay," Shiro assured, giving the teen a comforting smile. "Take a minute and breath, alright? No one's gonna' make you go. If you don't want to go up, then Matt here can walk you back to the building."

The visitor was still shaking, and Shiro found himself gently setting a hand on their shoulder. "It's alright, I promise," Shiro said.

Matt stepped up and set a hand on the visitor's back, coaxing them into stepping away from the plane. Shiro watched them go, waiting until they were a safe distance away before he got into the plane and started the engine.

In the back seats of the plane, the remaining passengers gave the teen who stayed behind a wave. Shiro smiled and glanced back as the propeller on the front of the plane kicked into high gear, stirring up the air in the hangar. He caught a glimpse of Matt, who was watching with a small smile on his face. The IT student had his hair down, and the long strands danced around his face. The sight made Shiro stare for just a moment, mesmerized, before his mind snapped back to the job before him.

Shiro started the plane toward the runway and prepared to takeoff with that single, simple moment lingering in the back of his mind.

-000-

After Shiro's plane left for the runway, Matt walked the teen who'd stayed behind back to the main building and helped them find their parents before returning to the sign-up table. There he found Sam scratching his head as he poked at the computer.

"Is everything okay?" Matt asked, peeking over his father's shoulder to see the computer screen.

Sam frowned. "For now, but the laptop's battery is getting low. I'm not sure that it'll last until the end of the fair," the man explained. He crouched down to dig in the bin under the table but stood back up empty-handed. "I can't find the charger anywhere. Could you go check the car?" he asked.

"Sure. I need to take the next group to the hangar, but I'll have some time after that to go look."

"Text me if you can't find it. If we have to, I'll start shutting it unless people are signing up so it lasts longer."

Matt gave his father a nod, then headed to the back doors in search of his next group. They were all waiting, ready to go, and greeted Matt distractedly before returning their focus to their conversation. Matt quickly escorted the group to the hangar, made sure they got in the plane safely, then returned to the building.

"I can go now," Matt told his father, gesturing toward the front door. He waited as Sam dug around in his pocket and held out a set of keys. Matt took them and spun on his heel, heading for the door with a discontented expression. He wasn't too fond of wading through large crowds, but it was the only way to get to the front door. With a deep breath, he began to struggle his way through.

Just as Matt thought he was in the clear, outside and past the throngs of people cluttering the entryway and hallways, a familiar voice caught him off guard.

"Why the sour look? It's not nearly as approachable as a smile."

Matt stiffened, stopping for just a moment as his mind hurried to catch up. He then started moving again, determined to ignore the person approaching him. Unfortunately, walking wasn't a fast means of escape, and he found himself forced to stop as the object of his wariness moved to block his path.

Steeling himself, Matt slipped into a shielded expression before lifting his chin to look Quinn in the eye. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, voice low.

"Ooo, scary," Quinn taunted with a mocking smile as he crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to look imposing. "I'm here for the fair. Seeing you is just a bonus. But what's no one's favorite computer geek doing around here?"

"Working."

Quinn frowned at Matt's answer but didn't respond to it. Instead he chose a different route of conversation.

"So, is my phone fixed yet?"

"I don't know. You'd have to go in and ask whoever's working."

"Aw, come on. We both know you're _quite familiar_ with phones. I'm sure fixing one doesn't take you three days."

"I didn't work yesterday or today."

"You worked Wednesday."

"I had other projects to do."

Quinn frowned again for a moment, then smiled darkly as a new thought occurred to him.

"Really? Was any of it for that huge guy with the nose scar? I always thought you were an introvert, but you two seem pretty chummy."

Matt couldn't help but flinch at Quinn's words, causing a look of satisfaction to slide across the latter's face.

"Is little Matthew branching out in college? Hm?" Quinn teased, earning a glare from Matt.

"That's none of your business."

"Looks like someone's gotten awful confident recently."

"Maybe."

"Sounds like you've gotten more interesting."

"Sounds like you haven't changed at all."

It was Quinn's turn to scowl as Matt failed to deliver any signs of fear or intimidation, instead responding to his old bully's barking with his own bite.

"True. I'm sure I could still throw you across a room. Or will you're friend step in? What is he, a bodyguard? Is he as strong as he looks, or is he one of those cheap guys who can bench a few hundred pounds but can't throw a punch to save his life?"

Matt narrowed his eyes, jaw tensing. "What does it matter to you?" he hissed.

"Ooo," Quinn began. He leaned forward, getting close enough that Matt could still hear him as he dropped his voice. "Did that strike a nerve? Maybe he isn't your bodyguard. You paying him to hang around? How else could someone stand being stuck around you all day?" Quinn asked accusingly, a wicked grin on his face.

"He's my friend," Matt growled.

Quinn laughed as if he'd just been told a good joke, though there was darkness hidden in the tone. Something malicious. "No way," he stated. "You managed to find, not only someone who can listen to you talk without snapping their own neck, but someone _like_ you? Or is he one of those dumbasses who doesn't care?" Quinn questioned, eyebrows raised in disbelief. A moment later his expression suddenly shifted, taking on a look of slight shock as he came to a realization. "Or, maybe…. He doesn't know?"

Matt gave no response, clenching his fists at his sides. He wanted to lash out so badly, his muscles itching to show Quinn what he'd learned recently. However, he knew why Quinn was holding himself back from making their argument physical as he did in the past. They were in the middle of public, surrounded by people. Throwing a single punch would draw too much attention and get them both in trouble.

"Oh, am I right?" Quinn asked, stepping closer so he and Matt were just inches apart. "Lying to your _friend?_ Really? You're worse than me," Quinn accused. He furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "What do you think will happen when he finds out? You know it'll happen someday. Do you honestly think he'll just say 'okay' and move on with it? How do you know he won't do the smart thing and run like hell?" He paused. "Unless he thinks you need a little more of a warning."

Matt reflexively raised a hand to his hip, fingers resting over a space just a few inches above the bone. The scar beneath his shirt tingled as Quinn's veiled threat started digging at memories Matt had long-since repressed.

Quinn seemed to take notice, an evil smile splitting his face. "It looks like you remember. I was a bit worried you'd forgotten. It's been a few years, after all. I was just starting to think you might need a little reminder. I guess I could always step up and do it," he began, cracking his knuckles loudly and huffing in amusement when Matt involuntarily jumped, "but what's the fun in that?"

Matt stood his ground as Quinn advanced upon him little by little. He told himself that he was fine, that Quinn couldn't jump him in the middle of a crowd, but deep down he knew it wasn't the physical attacks that had left a lasting wound. It was the way Quinn had gotten into his head day after day the same way he was now. The words were easy to ignore once or twice, but a constant barrage left him with doubts no matter how many times he tried to shake the thoughts away. A black eye would fade, but words got stuck in his mind whether he wanted them or not.

"Maybe I should talk to your friend."

Matt stiffened.

"I'm sure he'd _love_ to know what you really are. He'd never trust you again. Who would? No one likes a creep, even if he's a twiggy bitch. I'd love to see the _look_ on his _face_ when I tell him yo-"

" _Leave Shiro out of this,_ " Matt growled, his anger beginning to boil as he lunged forward, forcing Quinn to step back so they wouldn't collide. Quinn's eyebrow quirked in annoyance, pulling at the small strip of scar tissue cutting through it. However, he was not intimidated, giving Matt a condescending look as if he was nothing more than an ant.

"You really like him, don't you? Why? He's nothing but an oversized protein shake from, what, China? Is he a math major? Does he even have a brain, or is he some muscle-head idiot? Maybe that's how he can stand your stupid rambling all-"

"Shut _up_."

Quinn paused as Matt cut him off, blinking in surprise. It was clear that he was not accustomed to this new Matt at all, one that was angrier and less afraid, interrupting and biting back. Matt still flinched, but now he got right back in Quinn's face instead of backing down. Quinn had thought he was winning, that he'd struck enough nerves that Matt would have felt defeated. In the past that may have worked, but not now. Not anymore. Matt wasn't getting scared; he was getting pissed.

Matt himself was shaking. At first, he'd put on a front of fake confidence despite his fear to show that he wouldn't take Quinn's shit anymore, but then Quinn had mentioned Shiro and Matt found himself filled with burning anger. Both emotions circulated within him, strong enough to feel like a raging storm within his mind with waves that broke like bombs. Before he could lose his confidence, Matt stepped into Quinn's face and fixed him with the most hateful glare he could muster.

"You don't deserve to even _look_ at Shiro, and you _don't_ get to talk shit about him. He's better than you _ever_ will be. Neither of us give a single _shit_ about you, or what you think. Now. _Fuck. Off_."

Before Quinn could reply, Matt pushed past him and continued into the parking lot. He fought every fiber of his being to keep his tremors at bay until he was sure he was out of Quinn's view, then his hands were shaking so bad that he fumbled Sam's car keys as he pulled them from his pocket. His vision blurred as mixed-emotion tears sprang to his eyes, and he wiped them away hastily to keep his face dry. If he returned to the building with tear stains, his father would ask questions.

When Matt finally got into the car, he rummaged through the junk in the backseat until he found the laptop charger. He took it with him as he got out and slammed the car door a little harder than necessary, then smashed the lock button on the key fob over and over as the car chirped behind him. By the time he reached the building, his tears were gone, and his trembles had been reduced to slight twitches in his finger like aftershocks of the earthquake that had broken him just moments ago.

-000-

Back in the building, Sam didn't seem to notice anything when Matt returned with the charger. Instead he was focused on explaining the different options available in the aviation industry to a young wannabe-pilot. The distraction gave Matt time to make sure he was completely composed before Sam was able to get a good look at him. The man had been trained to read people, and if Matt wasn't careful, he'd be an open book under his father's scrutinizing eyes.

Thankfully for Matt, Sam said nothing after finishing his conversation. He simply thanked his son for his errand and allowed him to resume his work on Shiro's laptop. The device needed some parts replaced in order for it to be functional, none of which Matt had on him, but the work was a welcome distraction from his thoughts and worries. He did everything he could think of to make the laptop last a little longer, tuning up whatever he could to pass the time even though there was ultimately nothing much to be done.

Matt was in a haze for the rest of the fair, smiling to be polite when he needed to as he walked flight groups to the hangar in back. He didn't fully return to the land of the living until Sam tapped him on the shoulder to inform him that Shiro was bringing back the last group from the flights. After what Quinn said, the thought of seeing Shiro brought Matt a mixture of calm and unease, though he brushed the thoughts from his mind with a shake of his head. He couldn't let Quinn's words get to him. He didn't know Shiro like Matt did, and Matt knew Shiro wasn't as shallow as Quinn implied. If the secrets Matt kept ever did cause a problem, he'd cross that bridge when he got there.

With his face set in determination, Matt headed to the hangar.

-000-

After Shiro dropped off his last group, the mechanics showed up to take care of his plane. After all the starting, stopping, and flying it had undergone that day, it needed to be checked thoroughly to ensure it was still in top condition before classes resumed and students went up in it for training.

Without anything else to do in the hangar, Shiro returned to the aero park building with Matt. He noticed the IT student was a little tense but decided against asking. It'd been a long day, so he was probably just tired.

The pair found themselves thrown into the clean-up efforts when they got back to the sign-up table as the last few visitors were on their way out. Sam had already packed up their table and directed the two students to other sections to work. They mostly folded tables, dragged chairs back to the classrooms they'd been borrowed from, and picked tape off the walls where signs had been sloppily torn down.

Once they couldn't find anything else to do, Shiro and Matt tracked down Sam. They found the man packing boxes and tables into his car without much luck.

"Are we taking all of that home?" Matt asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"While I was packing up our tables, Con asked if I'd hold onto some boxes for a few days. His office was filled to the brim with junk while the aviation division was planning the fair, so he doesn't have anywhere to put it right now. I figured I could just leave all this in the garage or the basement for a few days until he could take it," Sam explained, nudging one of the boxes on the ground with his foot. He frowned. "I seem to have overestimated how much I can fit in the car, though."

Matt sighed as his father let out an amused chuckle, then turned to Shiro. "Save me," he deadpanned, eyeing the boxes warily. "I'm gonna end up buried in boxes on the way home."

Shiro furrowed his brow in thought, then looked to Sam. "Want help? I have some extra room in my car. I can take whatever doesn't fit in yours and drop it off for you," he offered.

Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he grinned happily. "Good idea, thanks," he replied.

"In that case, I might be able to get your computer back to you today," Matt interjected, looking at Shiro. "It needs some parts I have at home, but the fix shouldn't take to long. If you don't mind hanging around for a few minutes I can get it back to you before you leave."

Shiro found himself glancing at Sam in search of approval, not wanting to trouble the Holts if they were busy.

"I don't see why not," Sam said. "Besides, my wife, Colleen, has been _dying_ to meet you. It's been a while since Matt's spent much time around someone who isn't a coworker at the IT Center."

Matt scowled. "The world simply cannot handle my presence. The power of my memes is too great!"

"Or do people just run away when you star eating chips while laying down?" Shiro challenged with an amused smile.

"Matthew!" Sam scolded, his face turning into a frown of disapproval. "How many times have your mother and I told you not to eat while laying down?"

Matt shot Shiro a look of mock anger. "Betrayal!" he hissed.

The three broke into light laughter, though it soon came to a close as Sam took note of the nearly-empty parking lot around them.

"Well, we should get going before it gets too late. Shiro, why don't you bring your car over so we can load it up?"

Ten minutes later the last of the boxes were slid into the backseat of Shiro's car, and Sam handed Shiro a torn section of paper with a hasty scribble.

"This is our address. You can just follow behind us, but if we get separated at a light or by another car, go there," Sam explained.

Shiro nodded, then jogged to the driver's seat of his car as Sam climbed into his own vehicle. Then the Holts were gone, Shiro following close behind.

-000-

Shiro's eyebrows rose as he pulled into the driveway of a house with an impressive garden in the front yard. Dozens of flowers of multiple varieties danced in the evening light. Many other plants Shiro didn't even recognize were mixed in with the flowers, everything vibrant and green.

Pulling his eyes away from the garden, Shiro killed the engine of his car and climbed out, meeting Matt and Sam between the cars.

"Where do you want everything to go?" Shiro asked.

"I'd like to put it all in the garage if we can, but first," Sam paused, turning to his son. "Matt, how about you start on Shiro's computer? It's starting to get late, and I don't want him to be stuck waiting around too long."

"Sure," Matt chirped, clearly happier with the technology-related task than with the thought of moving all the table and boxes. He grabbed his bag from the car and jogged toward the front door as Shiro and Sam turned to the cars.

It took at least fifteen minutes for the pair to relocate all the junk from their vehicles to the garage. The process of manhandling the large tables and heavy boxes out of the cars, into the garage, then trying to find space in the garage without cluttering the whole area was more difficult than they'd imagined. In the end, while the tables were returned to the nook in the corner where they'd come from, the boxes had ended up in creative stacks wherever room could be found.

As Shiro set the last box on top of a stack nearly as tall as he was himself, Sam sighed loudly.

"Well, that took a little more work than I expected," the man commented, brushing dust off his hands.

Shiro nodded. "Is there anything else that needs to be done?" he asked, looking around.

"Nope. Thanks for all your help, though. I probably would be making a second trip right now if you hadn't lent a hand." Sam turned and headed toward the front door, gesturing for Shiro to follow. "Come on in for a bit," he said.

Shiro followed, hesitating as he stepped through the entryway into the house. He slipped his shoes off and set them aside neatly near Matt's hastily removed sneakers, then followed Sam further into the house.

A woman with hair just a shade lighter than Matt's was standing in the living room, eyes on the TV as she folded towels from the laundry. She glanced back when Sam and Shiro entered the room and smiled at the sight of her husband. Sam stepped forward to greet her with a hug, then turned to face Shiro.

"Honey, this is Matt's friend and one of my students, Shirogane," Sam stated, gesturing to Shiro.

To Shiro's surprise, instead of eyeing him warily, the woman gave Shiro a kind smile and held out a hand. "I'm Colleen, Matt's mom. It's great to finally meet you, Shirogane," she said.

Shiro offered a polite smile and shook her hand in greeting. "Just Shiro is fine, and it's nice to meet you too, ma'am." He paused, releasing her hand, then gestured back toward the front of the house. "You've got am impressive garden out there."

Colleen's eyes lit up with an excited spark the same way Matt's did when he spoke about computers. "Thank you, though that little thing is just for fun. It has _nothing_ on my greenhouse. I'm a botanist," she explained.

"Ah, I see where Matt gets his intelligence from," Shiro replied, impressed.

Colleen chuckled, and Sam gasped in mock betrayal. The scene left Shiro feeling a little less tense than he had when he first walked in, the light atmosphere not nearly as intimidating as he'd expected.

"Shiro!"

Shiro turned at the sound of his name and spotted Matt slipping through a dark doorway that appeared to lead to the basement, Shiro's laptop in one arm with a pile of parts and scraps balanced on top of it. A screwdriver tumbled from where it rested on the laptop as Matt struggled to push the door shut with another larger screwdriver in his other hand. The younger man seemed to give up after a moment when he grabbed the screwdriver in his hand with his teeth so he could grip the door properly and close it.

"A' a'o 'on," he garbled around the screwdriver. When the door finally shut, he tried to sink down to pick up the screwdriver on the floor, but the pile on the laptop started to slip and made him stop.

"Careful!" Shiro jogged forward and picked the screwdriver off the floor, then grabbed a few parts off the pile as they started to slip again.

"'han," Matt tried. He frowned, then picked the screwdriver from his mouth with his free hand and set it in the now-smaller pile so he could carry Shiro's laptop with two hands. "Thanks," he tried again, finally able to speak. He then nodded toward a hallway that branched off the living room and started walking.

Shiro hesitantly followed, then glanced back at Sam and Colleen.

"Be careful, Matt. And make sure he doesn't swallow another screw, Shiro," Sam called out, causing Shiro to look at Matt with raised eyebrows.

"It was _one_ time!" Matt complained over his shoulder, drawing a laugh from his parents.

Matt stopped in front of an ajar door and nudged it open with his foot before heading in. Shiro followed, finding himself in a decent-sized room plastered with various posters and cluttered by boxes and piles of just about everything.

"Sorry for the mess. I just finished a big project recently and haven't gotten the chance to clean up," Matt explained, shoving things aside with his feet to clear up space on the floor. He settled next to an open tool bag, setting down the load in his arms on the floor in front of him. Shiro stepped over to the clear space just a moment later, sitting across from Matt in the small open space. He ended up leaning back against Matt's bed with his legs crossed as he carefully set down the things in his hands, then watched as Matt efficiently opened up his laptop and started snipping wires as if they were all labeled with a specific function instead of being plain and identical.

"How do you know which one is which?" Shiro asked, leaning forward to look at all the little chips and wires in his laptop. It wasn't nearly as complex as newer ones must have been, but simply thinking about what each and every piece might do gave him a headache.

"It's hard to tell sometimes, but most wires can just be traced back to whatever they're hooked up to. Or its just obvious," Matt stated simply, removing a few pieces from the laptop. He then went quiet, lost in his own little world as he snipped, pulled, replaced, and repaired each piece of the laptop that seemed to be failing. It was more than impressive to Shiro, who hadn't even known how to connect to the internet when he first got the laptop years before.

Matt's concentration seemed to break as he was working on one last section, and he let out an annoyed growl. "Pidge! Can I borrow one of your picks for a minute?" he shouted, poking at something with his screwdriver. He looked up at Shiro. "Does Eurus sit on this a lot?" he asked.

Shiro tilted his head as he contemplated. "Uh, yeah, kind of."

"Your fans are full of cat hair."

"Sorry."

"It's fine, but you'll need to keep an eye on that so it doesn't clog up the fans and overheat your laptop."

The sound of light footsteps made Shiro and Matt both look to the door just before it swung open and a young girl peeked her head in. Her hair was cut short and looked strikingly similar to how Matt's did before it grew out during the semester. She had her eyes on Matt, though her gaze quickly shifted to Shiro as she realized there was a stranger in the room. She stepped silently into the room, tossing what looked like a small screwdriver with a spike on the end like a pencil instead of the head of a screwdriver toward Matt.

"Thanks," Matt said, grabbing the pick off the ground as it rolled to a stop. "That's Shiro, by the way," he said, gesturing to Shiro with the pick before setting to work with the laptop.

Shiro gave the girl, who he now recognized as Matt's younger sister, a small smile and wave.

Pidge returned the wave, then stepped out, footsteps light as she left.

"She gets a little shy around strangers, but once you get to know her, she's the furthest thing from an introvert that a person could possibly be," Matt informed, not even looking up.

Shiro hummed in understanding after realizing Matt couldn't see him nod, then resumed watching his friend work on the laptop.

It seemed as if Shiro had been watching Matt work for mere minutes when the younger man tightened the last screw on Shiro's laptop while reassembling it. The IT student flipped it right-side-up, then opened it and poked the power button. The laptop whirred to life, and Matt smiled. He allowed it to boot up completely, then turned it off and handed it over to Shiro.

"Thanks for your help. I'm not sure what I would have done to get my homework done on time this weekend," Shiro said, shutting the laptop. He gave Matt a smile, which the IT student returned.

"Whenever you need help with tech, just let me know," Matt said. "You can even take it to the IT Center if you want and leave it for me to fix. That way you don't have to pay the fees."

"Are you sure it's alright with you?" Shiro asked, feeling a bit guilty about having his friend fix his laptop without asking for anything in return.

"First of all, yes, we're friends, and I don't charge friends," Matt explained, his words sending a wave of warmth through Shiro's chest. "Second," he began, "you've been helping me out a lot recently, with all this bullshit from Quinn. Fixing your stuff is the least I can do."

Shiro shook his head. "Like you said, there's no need to charge friends."

Matt smiled, and Shiro found it infectious. The two ended up simply watching each other, content, happy with the friendship they'd built between them in the recent months.

"Matt! Are you almost finished? It's getting late!" Colleen called, pulling Shiro and Matt back to the present.

"Yeah, one second mom!" Matt shouted in return. He hurriedly started picking up all his tools and shoving them into his bag, then got to his feet and brushed off his hands.

Shiro rose just after Matt, then followed him out to the living room where Sam and Colleen were sat on the couch, watching TV.

"Did you get your laptop back?" Sam asked as Shiro walked into the room.

Shiro nodded, holding up the laptop for the older man to see. "I'll get going. Thank you for having me, though."

Colleen smiled. "You're welcome here anytime, Shiro," she offered, getting a thankful nod from Shiro.

Shiro and Matt headed to the door, Matt walking Shiro out to his car without bothering to put his shoes on despite the cool temperatures outside. The Sun had already dipped below the horizon, the last rays of light fading away.

"Thanks again," Shiro said as he pulled open the front door of his car. He leaned against the frame, not getting in quite yet.

"No problem," Matt replied, the smile from earlier returning to his face. "Be careful on your way back. Deer are probably out by now."

"I will."

Shiro gave Matt a wave, then dropped into the driver's seat and pulled his door shut. The engine rumbled to life when he twisted the key in the ignition, the headlights illuminating the house as he reached for his seatbelt.

Matt returned Shiro's wave, then slowly backed away before turning and jogging into the house. Shiro waited until he was back inside and the door had closed before he threw the car in reverse.

Driving through the darkness, Shiro made his way back to the university as the winds began to pick up. He passed a tree covered in dead leaves that swayed in the wind, and suddenly a memory from earlier that day came back to him. His face melted into a gentle smile as he thought of that moment in the hangar when he looked back at Matt, the younger man's loose hair stirred up by the turbulence the plane's propeller had produced. The image couldn't seem to leave his mind, though part of him knew it was because he didn't want it to.


	23. Wrath

A/N: Look who isn't dead. I might as well be, seeing as finals were lat week, but I survived. I still have one more big exam to go, but then I'm done for the semester. More time to write? Maybe, depends on how my work schedule changes. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, though, and I hope to be back soon with another one!

 ** _*Trigger Warning for Descriptions of Violence, mentions of blood_**

* * *

Sunday morning, Shiro woke to a text from Matt

 **Matt: My dad has a meeting tonight with the Board of Trustees and the aviation staff at the University**

 **Matt: Ig the fair on Friday was really successful**

 **Matt: A lot of people were giving positive feedback on the discovery flights**

 **Matt: I think you were a fan favorite :0**

 **Matt: Or maybe it was my exceptional navigation skills and impressive sign-up computer**

Shiro let out a huff of laughter as he scrolled through the messages, then threw off his blankets so he could sit up.

 **Shiro: I'm sure that's exactly what it was**

 **Matt: Smart is the new sexy**

 **Shiro: Until smart trips over air because he was on his phone while walking**

 **Matt: Hey that happened oNE TIME**

 **Shiro: Suuuure**

 **Matt: As if you've never walked while on your phone**

 **Shiro: I don't trip**

 **Matt: Sounds fake**

 **Matt: If you can fly a plane blindfolded Ill believe u**

 **Shiro: I'm not doing that**

 **Matt: So you DO trip**

 **Shiro: How are those even related**

 **Matt:**

 **Matt: Because I said so**

 **Shiro: Okay?**

Shiro set his phone down so he could change his clothes, returning to it after a brief shower while running his fingers through the wet mop on his forehead.

 **Shiro: What're you doing today?**

Matt responded after just a few seconds.

 **Matt: I have to work -_-**

 **Shiro: I thought you liked your job**

 **Matt: My job yes**

 **Matt: The people no**

 **Matt: Also my dad's meeting is late tonight so I'll be stuck here all day**

 **Shiro: Do you need a ride home?**

 **Matt: Nah its fine**

 **Matt: If I wait he'll buy me food on the way home**

 **Shiro: So food is all it takes to bribe you?**

 **Matt: McDonalds is worth it**

 **Shiro: Worth being horribly unhealthy?**

 **Matt: Its fine in moderation**

 **Shiro: You had McDonalds two days ago**

 **Matt: Ssshhhhhhhhshsh we don't need to count that**

 **Shiro: How do you not get sick from eating fast food so much**

 **Matt: Its another one of my talents**

 **Matt: I often combine it with my talent for eating while laying down**

 **Shiro: And what do your parents think of that?**

 **Matt: They don't need to know everything**

 **Matt: Btw don't tell my dad again**

 **Matt: He told my mom**

 **Matt: I got the neutral face of disappointment**

 **Shiro: Sounds bad?**

 **Matt: The worst**

 **Matt: My shift starts in a min**

 **Matt: Ill ttyl**

 **Shiro: Have fun**

Shiro slipped his phone into his pocket and sighed aloud, looking around the room for something to do. He'd taken care of his homework the previous day, and he'd exercised the previous night.

A loud 'meow' from the other room drew Shiro's attention, and he followed it to the source to find Eurus sitting next to her food dish. It wasn't quite empty, but there wasn't much left.

"I know, one second," Shiro told her, crouching next to the plastic tub of food he kept next to the dish. He pried off the lid and reached for the cup inside, scooping up kibble that he dumped into Eurus' dish. He returned to the tub to scoop up a little more and found himself staring at the plastic bottom of the tub.

Glancing over his shoulder, Shiro found Eurus giving him a knowing look. He sighed. "Okay, I get it. I'll go buy more," he promised, lifting the tub so he could pour most of what was left into her dish.

Replacing the lid, Shiro put the tub back against the wall and reached over to pet Eurus, who was happily eating her kibble and clearly very pleased with herself. He then got to his feet and hunted for his wallet in the dorm. Once he had what he needed, he headed for the door hoping cat food had gone on sale.

-000-

By the time Matt's shift was over, he thought his hands were broken. He enjoyed the challenge of fixing broken tech, though he didn't enjoy the way that holding tiny screwdrivers and pliers made his hand cramp, or the way everything seemed to be out to burn his fingers. There hadn't been many customers arriving to pick up or drop off their tech, which was usually the way he preferred it. However, fewer customers meant more time fixing tech. To make matters worse, there were four phones, a TV, and three laptops that needed to be fixed by Monday and the other employee who'd been scheduled to work with Matt called in sick. That left the entire batch up to Matt alone, and his eight-hour shift turned into a twelve hour one without any breaks between projects.

After leaving a note for the opening employee the following morning, Matt locked up the IT Center and pulled out his phone. It was just after eight. His father's meeting had been scheduled to start at six and last about two hours, but the lack of his father's car in the parking lot or a text about him being on his way told Matt the meeting was running long.

With a heavy sigh, Matt wandered over to the window at the end of the hall. It was dark out, the sun setting around seven o'clock at night as winter approached. He wasn't one to enjoy walking around at night, especially when cougars had recently been spotted in the area, but he didn't have much to do.

"I could see what Shiro is up to," Matt pondered aloud, turning and heading for the stairs. He descended slowly while scrolling on his phone, searching for Shiro's contact. However, he ended up deciding against the idea. He wasn't sure how long Sam would be, and he didn't want to bother Shiro in the case that they might decide to meet up only for Sam's meeting to get done around the same time.

Matt zipped up his hoodie before he stepped out of the building into the cool night. The slight breeze made him shiver, and he made a mental note to get a heavier coat out soon so he wouldn't freeze.

With his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his head down, Matt started toward the aviation building. It was somewhat far from the IT Center, located on the outskirts of campus. The walk was enough to make Matt raise an eyebrow at the thought of Shiro going to and from there every day. The only time he'd known of Shiro driving to the campus was the day of the aviation fair. How he managed to make the trek in a decent time, especially once snow started to pile up on the ground in winter, Matt didn't know.

The temperature seemed to drop as Matt walked, and he quickly took a detour into a random building in search of a reprieve from the cold. He pulled out his phone to waste time as he waited for the red to fade from his fingers, then he shoved the phone back into his pocket and headed back outside.

Matt had just made it out the door when someone crossed the sidewalk in front of him. He didn't bother to look up at them, keeping his chin tucked into the fabric of his hood which he'd bunched up around his neck for more warmth. However, he sent the person a glance when they suddenly stopped in front of him. The eyes he met made him freeze.

Quinn started at Matt blankly, his cheeks slightly red from the cold. He said nothing and didn't move, simply _staring_. It was creepy in a way, so much so that Matt turned around where he stood. He'd told Quinn to leave him alone once; he could do it again. Besides, if worst came to worse, his training with Shiro hadn't been useless.

"A bit rude to ignore someone."

Matt stopped, tipping his head back and releasing a deep sigh before turning around to face Quinn.

"You really have grown a pair; brushing me off on Friday, ignoring me today," Quinn stated, face still blank.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone already?" Matt asked coolly.

"I believe the words you used were 'fuck off,' but sure," Quinn replied, taking a step forward. "Doesn't mean I have to listen."

Quinn's eyebrows quirked in annoyance, then his hand shot out faster than Matt could react. It struck Matt's shoulder, making him stumble back a few steps.

"I don't appreciate being told what to do," Quinn said, tone low and dangerous. His neutral expression was crackling, twisting into something angry. "I don't like little bitches who get up in my face thinking they're _all that_."

"And I'm supposed to care, why?" Matt asked, putting up an undaunted front as he planted his feet on the ground.

"Because you seem to have forgotten your place. Maybe hanging around with Godzilla has gone to your head. But what about now? He's not here to protect you."

"I can take care of myself."

Quinn let out an amused huff, though it was heavy and dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah, the little nerd is gonna' beat the shit out of a dude twice his size who's wiped the floor with his ass a dozen times over." Quinn suddenly lashed out again, though this time, Matt caught his wrist.

"Not anymore, Quinn."

Matt started to turn Quinn's wrist, intending to use the arm lock technique Shiro had shown him in his first lesson. However, he wasn't quick enough, and Quinn ripped his wrist from his grasp.

"You really think that'll work?" Quinn asked. He lunged forward, knocking Matt backwards into the brick wall next to the door and pinning him with an arm across his shoulders.

Matt didn't respond, instead retaliating by stomping on Quinn's foot. Quinn's face contorted into an ugly scowl for a moment as his toes flared with pain, then his expression shifted to anger.

"Now you've done it, Holt."

Quinn swung at Matt's face with a punch, and Matt couldn't raise his arms passed his pinned shoulders to block it. Quinn's fist slammed into Matt's cheek, making his scar throb and his cheekbone ache. Quinn went to strike again, but Matt took the opportunity to escape when the arm on his shoulders let up momentarily while Quinn wound up for the next attack. Sliding out of Quinn's grasp, Matt darted to the side and opened a gap between them.

Quinn whirled around, facing Matt with an arm still drawn back. He lunged forward and swung, only for Matt to do the same. They both ducked out of the way, then Matt tried to sweep at Quinn's leg as Shiro had done to him at his last lesson.

Quinn surprised Matt by catching his foot, then yanked on it. Matt stumbled toward him, the two falling into the dirt next to the sidewalk.

As Matt tried to get to his feet, struggling to see in the faint light, Quinn lashed out again. Matt deflected the blow with one arm, then struck blindly with the other. His fist caught Quinn's eye, making Quinn hiss and stumble backwards. Matt tried to take advantage of the moment by striking once again, but Quinn saw him coming. He shoved Matt off-course, then slammed a fist into his gut.

Matt crumbled to the ground; Quinn was on him in seconds, pinning him so he couldn't attack.

"You shouldn't do that," Quinn hissed, leaning close to Matt's face as his eyes narrowed. "What happens when I go to security and say you jumped me when I was walking? No cameras can see us, so there's nothing to prove if I was lying."

Matt clenched his teeth and tried to headbutt Quinn, though Quinn leaned out of range.

"As if they'd believe that," Matt growled. He was tired of Quinn and everything Quinn did. He wanted nothing more than to unleash the anger boiling in his chest and lash out without holding back.

"What if I tell them about that time I got jumped at school? It might not have been you who attacked my buds and I, but we all know you were behind it," Quinn accused.

"I told you that wasn't me."

Quinn's fist landed another blow on Matt's cheek. " _Don't lie to me_ ," Quinn hissed.

As much as Matt wanted to respond, the throbbing of his jaw made him stay quiet. Instead he glared up at Quinn, conveying all the annoyance and hate he couldn't put into words with his gaze.

"My buddies will back me up when I say you're out to get me, that you always have been. The only ones who'll take your side are you family, and no one will believe them. Everyone will blame you, and maybe you'll find yourself out of a school _and_ a job."

Matt growled and tried to attack Quinn again, but still found himself pinned. He struggled, trying everything he could think of. His efforts turned out to be somewhat effective as Quinn's grip on him started to loosen, though the escape route he'd found fell to pieces when Quinn spoke again.

"What will the school think when I tell them who you learned to fight from? Do you _really_ think they won't care about an accessory in premeditated assault? Maybe you can throw a decent punch now, but at what cost? What do you think your _friend_ will think when he loses his scholarship because he helped you out?"

Matt froze, eyes widening slightly in shock. How did Quinn know about Shiro's scholarship? He hadn't even known Shiro existed until recently.

"It pays to know a few of the students dumb enough to work for the student services," Quinn answered, knowing Matt's question without Matt speaking it aloud. "Takashi Shirogane, talented pilot and poor scholarship student. Unknown family background, history of poor mental health. I'm surprised the school took a chance on him. They might change their minds if he turns out to be some batshit crazy asshole."

"It won't work," Matt insisted. "Even if you manage to make yourself a victim, I'm the only one who'll get in trouble."

"Will you, though? How can it be a coincidence that you got physically violent after meeting him? That won't look good in the eyes of the president."

"No one will buy that."

Quinn leaned in close again, almost whispering in Matt' ear.

"Are you sure you want to take that risk?"

Matt was silent, trying to keep his expression angry even when he knew he was defeated. Quinn was right. If the school got involved, Quinn had friends from the past who would back him up. Matt had no one besides his family, who no one would view as credible, and Shiro, who didn't know him until recently. If the school believed Quinn, Matt would be fighting a losing battle. If Shiro got dragged into the issue, his scholarship could easily be rescinded. Maybe it would, or maybe it wouldn't. Either way, Matt couldn't predict how the battle would turn out, and Shiro could find himself in trouble either way. Even if the school recognized Matt as the victim, Shiro would come under scrutiny for teaching him how to fight back. Self-defense or not, violence was never welcomed by the school.

A smile split Quinn's face as Matt's body relaxed in defeat. Quinn reached out and grabbed Matt by the hair to force him to look him in the eye. Pain radiated from Matt's scalp, and the band holding his hair in a ponytail slipped off from the stress of Quinn's merciless grip.

"You can learn how to punch and learn how to talk, but you'll never change. In the end, you're still soft. Threatening you gets me nowhere, but others?" Quinn paused, his grin turning into a disgusted sneer. "In the end, you'll always give up everything to protect someone else."

Matt closed his eyes when Quinn released him and let his body hit the ground. He didn't have the chance to open them again before a fist slammed into his face yet again, making his vision go fuzzy. He simply went still, keeping his eyes shut as darkness closed in on him. Despite all he'd learned from Shiro, there was nothing he could do. He was powerless.

-000-

When Matt came to, everything was still dark. Pain radiated through his side as he reached for his phone in his pocket, the bright screen blinding him as he searched for the time. It was almost nine o'clock, not even an hour after his encounter with Quinn. Matt hadn't been out long, but Quinn was long gone.

A notification from a text in the corner of the screen drew Matt's attention, and he opened it to find a message from his father.

 **Dad: The meeting got a late start, and its going to be longer than expected. I shouldn't be too much longer, but if it runs too late, I'll call your mom to come get you**

Matt exhaled slowly, staring at the message. It hadn't been sent very long ago, so Sam probably wasn't close to being done.

Matt's thumb hovered over the call button as he stared at his phone, hesitating. He didn't want to interrupt Sam if he was busy, but he also wasn't sure where Quinn was. It might not be safe for him to continue his walk on his own. On the other hand, if he went to his father, security, the police, and the school could get involved. Quinn could live up to his threat of turning the situation around. Even though Matt had clearly come out of the fight with the with the worst injuries, Quinn still had the advantage. He still had people to vouch for him. He could turn it around and say Matt jumped _him_ , that he'd protected himself. No matter what the Holts said, family takes the side of family even when they're in the wrong. No one would believe them. Having Shiro speak on his behalf would just be doing exactly what Quinn wanted, too.

Shutting off his phone, Matt planted his hands on the ground. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. Everything ached, and he paused for a moment to take a breath before he got his knees under himself. He stood slowly with an arm wrapped around his ribcage as he sucked in another deep breath. Nothing felt like it was broken, but it hurt like hell. Matt wasn't sure how he'd walk all the way to the aviation building in his condition, and he found himself digging for his phone in his pocket again. He turned it on once more, searching for his father's contact as he decided it may just be best that he call Sam.

Matt paused when he scrolled across Shiro's contact. He didn't want Shiro to get involved, but unlike Sam, he might stay quiet if Matt asked him to. Knowing Shiro, he'd want to go out and find Quinn, but he wouldn't leave Matt alone when he was injured. His dorm was also closer.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Matt began his slow walk in the direction of the dorms. He pulled his jacket tighter around his body pushed his hair behind his ears as the cold breeze chilled him and blew his hair in his eyes. He felt something cold and wet on his cheek and looked up to see snow beginning to fall in fat, fluffy flakes around him. Usually, he would be overjoyed at the sight. Now, though, he simply burrowed his chin into his jacket and continued.

-000-

Shiro looked around his dorm in search of something to do. He'd been keeping himself busy the past few hours despite having no homework to do. He knew Sam would take Matt home after the aviation meeting, but Shiro knew how long meetings could get. He felt it might be a good idea to keep an eye on his phone in case the meeting ran long and Matt needed a ride.

Checking his phone for the second time in ten minutes, Shiro sighed and tossed it on his bed. ' _Maybe they already left_ ,' he thought to himself. For whatever reason, he felt a small tug of sadness in his chest at the thought. He had just seen Matt two days ago, but he had been looking forward to potentially seeing him again sooner than Monday. He also kept thinking about that moment in the hangar when he'd looked back at Matt. That image had burned itself into his brain, refusing to leave no matter how many times he started thinking about something else. It wasn't that he necessarily _wanted_ to forget about it, but he didn't know why it kept coming back to him.

"Maybe he wanted to go up in the plane," Shiro mumbled to himself. "I should ask if he wants to come on my next flight."

Aviation students looking for a commercial license needed hundreds of hours of flight time. That meant doing flights outside of class. Shiro was a bit of a special case, given his history. He had met the requirement for flight hours long before he even enrolled at the college. He still did the extra flights, though, welcoming the freedom it brought him. He always went up alone outside of class even though students were allowed to take one other person with them as long as they got permission from the instructors beforehand.

A strange scratching noise drew Shiro from his thoughts, and he tilted his head in confusion when it stopped. He paused, frozen as he listened for the sound again. It came just a few seconds.

Slowly, Shiro crossed the room with silent footsteps. He started toward the other room where Eurus' things were, thinking she was making noise. However, as he got closer, the scratching began to sound more like knocking.

Something brushed Shiro's leg, and his gaze darted to the floor to find Eurus between his feet. She was crouched low, the fur on the back of her neck raised and her tail fluffed up. She was fully alert, eyes glued to the door.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Shiro started to make his way toward the door. He wasn't sure who would be looking for him so late at night, or who would be looking for him at all. If it was anyone he knew, they would have sent him a text or called him through the door. Whoever, or _whatever_ , was outside was a stranger. The first suspect that came to mind was Quinn. He'd seen Shiro around Matt, and Shiro didn't put it past him to try to stir up trouble.

Tense and ready to move at a moment's notice, Shiro reached the door and grabbed the handle. He turned it slowly, took a breath, then pulled it open normally. His face was blank, ready to take on whatever expression was appropriate for whoever he met on the other side of the door. However, it all fell to pieces when his eyes landed on a familiar face dotted in shadows.

Matt stood outside the door, shivering in a thin hoodie with bruises blossoming on his face like dark flowers in the poor light.

"Matt…" Shiro breathed, half in disbelief and half in concern. He was stunned, but quickly snapped out of his daze to step aside and let Matt in.

Matt entered the dorm slowly, clearly exhausted, without a word. He said nothing as Shiro put a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward his room, where Shiro sat him on the floor and draped his heaviest blanket around the IT student's shoulders before running for the bathroom in search of a washcloth and his first-aid kit.

"What happened?" Shiro asked worriedly upon his return as he knelt in front of Matt, inspecting the bruises on his face and handing him a wet cloth to put over his split lip and bloody nose.

Matt stayed silent, his eyes on the floor, and that was an answer enough for Shiro.

Shiro's face contorted in rage, and he clenched his teeth as his blood began to boil. " _He's going to pay for this_ ," the aviation student swore, pulling out a band-aid for a shallow cut on Matt's temple. Despite the agonizing hatred that made his hands shake, he was careful to be gentle as he swiped Matt's hair out of the way to cover the cut.

"Shiro," Matt began, catching the aviation student's attention.

Shiro's expression softened as he looked down at Matt's face, waiting for his friend to speak

"Don't tell my dad."

Shiro leaned back, shocked and confused. "Of course I'm telling your dad, Matt. Quinn just attacked you! He should be arrested!"

"Don't."

"Why not?"

Matt gave no response, and Shiro felt annoyance rising. He wasn't angry at Matt, but he was angry that Matt wouldn't tell him anything; wouldn't let him help.

"Why didn't you fight back?"

"I did."

"I know you're good enough to escape better off than this. _So why didn't you fight back_?"

Matt went quiet again, avoiding Shiro's eyes.

Shiro gave Matt a moment, looking over his face for any more wounds. All he saw were bruises, but there was nothing he could do for those, so he packed up his first aid kid and pushed it away to be dealt with later.

"He threatened you."

Shiro stopped, head whipping in Matt's direction. "What?"

Matt sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest. He still refused to look at Shiro even as he finally began to talk.

"If I fought back, he could go to security and turn the fights around; say I attacked _him_. I don't care either way, but…" Matt finally looked up at Shiro. "You taught me how to fight. You hate Quinn. He could drag you into this. The school is against violence of any kind. They could take away your scholarship-"

"I don't care about a fucking _scholarship_! Quinn can say whatever he wants. Its not worth letting him hurt you!" Shiro hissed, anger boiling over.

"He'll give up eventually," Matt argued. "He'll leave, you won't lose your scholarship, and no one will get in trouble with the school."

"Clearly he _won't_ leave you alone! And why are you so obsessed with my scholarship?" Shiro asked, voice low and accusing.

Matt furrowed his eyebrows, losing his patience. "I don't want you to lose your scholarship over something stupid! You're probably the best pilot in the aviation program, and I saw how happy you were during the fair. I'm not gonna' be the one who takes that away from you!"

"Let them!" Shiro challenged. "If the school wants to kick me out, they can. There are other schools, other scholarships. But there's only one of you! You're my friend, Matt, and that means I'll back you up no matter what! Do you really think I'm a big enough asshole to choose some scholarship over a person just because I don't have much money?!"

The pair went silent, both looking to the floor. Neither knew what to say next, or if they should say anything at all. They were tense, they were worried, and they were angry. Not at each other, but at Quinn, though their anger saturated their voices and left their words sharp when the were meant to be soft. Neither wanted to say something they didn't mean, something they couldn't take back.

After a moment, Shiro shoved himself to his feet and crossed the room to his closet. He pulled out his coat and yanked it on, the sound of the zipper deafening in the tense silence.

"Text Sam. I'll take you home," Shiro said curtly. He didn't look at Matt, instead keeping his eyes on the floor.

Behind Shiro, Matt was silent as he stood. He didn't put up a fight, tired from their short argument. Instead he followed Shiro to the door, pulling the blanket off his shoulders and leaving it folded on the floor.

The pair walked out to Shiro's car and got in without a word. The silence remained on the way to the Holt household, though Shiro turned on the heater when he noticed Matt shivering again.

When Shiro pulled into the driveway of Matt's house, he put the car in park and killed the engine, dropping them into silence. They hadn't looked at each other at any point during the drive, nor had they spoken. The drive had given them time to calm down, though, time to organize their thoughts and feelings to the point where they could think clearly.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Shiro murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sorry I worried you," Matt replied quietly. "I just don't want you to get in trouble because of him. He's not worth it."

"He may not be, but you are," Shiro said. "I'm not- I _can't_ let this happen again."

Matt nodded. "Thanks, but… Just try not to fight with him, avoid getting involved if you can."

"And what if I have to?" Shiro questioned.

"Then-" Matt paused, closing his eyes in defeat. "If you don't have any other choice, then just- Don't be the one to throw the first punch. If someone sees him swing first, it'll be hard for him to turn that around on you."

Shiro sighed. "I will, but only if… if he gets you alone again… defend yourself. Whatever he might try to pull, we'll deal with it if it happens. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore, Matt. Please."

Matt was silent.

Shiro finally looked over at his friend, face weary. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Matt's gaze slowly lifted from his hands in his lap and settled on Shiro's face. He searched it, taking in everything Shiro was trying to tell him without putting it into words: the worry, the fear that had gone unspoken, the anger toward Quinn that stewed beneath his skin.

"I promise."

Matt's tone was almost breathless, and his eyes never left Shiro's face. The two of them were focused on each other, taking in everything: Shiro's emotions, the shadowy bruises painting Matt's face, the guilt that pulled the corners of their lips into frowns.

After nearly a minute of staring, Matt broke his gaze from Shiro and unbuckled his seatbelt. He opened his door and left without a word, walking slowly toward the front door of his house. He only looked back when he reached the doorstep, turning around to face Shiro again with a mix of emotions too difficult to decipher twisting his expression. Then he was gone, the door closing quietly behind him.

Shiro turned the key in the ignition of his car, backed out of the driveway, and returned to the road. The drive passed in a blur, and before he knew it, he was parked next to his dorm. The car was off, leaving him with nothing but a quiet ringing in his ears, a side effect of spending most of the last decade around loud planes.

A deep sigh slipped from Shiro's chest, and he let his head fall forward against the steering wheel. For the first time in months, he was completely and utterly lost. He had not idea what to do, no option without its consequences. Once upon a time he'd thought it was hard when he had only one choice, one way to move forward even if it meant he'd suffer later. However, he now knew that with each added path, the decision got harder. There were more options, but the choice was no longer made for him. He had to decide for himself what do to while fully aware that he was responsible for whatever bad might come from that decision.

Shiro didn't sleep that night.


	24. Matt's Reprise

A/N: Guess who's done with school! For now, at least. I finally had some time off to catch up on personal stuff and get a chapter written. I couldn't write anything while preparing for AP testing, but once that was out of the way, I finally had time to work. I always get so happy jumping back into this story, and I'm so glad to see people still reading it. I'm hoping this Quinn arc doesn't seem to be going too fast, but people who are just assholes don't exactly premeditate for three chapters before they start screaming insults and throwing punches. I find Quinn to be an interesting character to write, seeing as he's a pure evil kinda guy just like the person who inspired me to create him. Anyway, hopefully I'll be back soon with another chapter.

*TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains references to PTSD/flashbacks, mentions of blood/injury, description of panic attacks, etc. It is all sprinkled throughout, so I can't exactly warn for every part, though I will have a section of notes at the very end where I will summarize the chapter for anyone unable to read it.

* * *

Matt didn't return to school on Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. By Thursday, he was still home.

Shiro had been pulled aside by Sam on Monday after class, and the man had informed him that he knew about the attack and the Holts had decided to keep him at home until he was healed enough that he wouldn't be vulnerable to another attack. Sam and Colleen had fought with Matt that morning when he demanded they not involve the police, threatening to lie and say he'd fallen down the stairs if they did. Matt had told them about Quinn's threats to Shiro and the lack of evidence surrounding the fight. All they had was Matt's claims, no security footage. It would be hard to prove that Quinn was the one who'd attacked. Even if they did, Matt admitted that he'd gotten one good punch in. Quinn was charming when he needed to be; that was how he fooled his high school when he was attacking other students. If he tried to say Matt struck first, that he'd just defended himself, or if he dug up the past and claimed Matt had always hated him and was out to get him…

There was too much uncertainty in the whole issue, and in the end, no one knew what to do. Sam had contacted Rift and informed him of Matt's injuries, earning his son the week off from working at the IT Center. Sam and Colleen filed a report to the school about Matt's attack against his wishes, but when Matt gave a record of what happened, he didn't mention Quinn. By then, there wasn't much more they could do.

Thursday morning, Shiro was bored. He had no classes and was caught up on his homework. There was nothing trivial that he could blow up into an important reason to go to the store, and he didn't want to go out running in case Quinn was conspiring against him. The last thing Shiro needed was to get caught alone with the man he wanted to throw into the cargo hold of a plane he would fly into a mountain side.

After walking around his dorm for the tenth time in four minutes, Shiro sighed. He looked to Eurus, who was napping next to a window in the path of the sunlight streaming in. At least _someone_ was having a decent day.

Shiro moved to his room and flopped down on the bed, his eyes on the ceiling above. His mind wandered as his boredom swallowed him whole. However, it wasn't long before his thoughts returned to Sunday night when he'd seen Matt after the fight with Quinn. Shiro found his gaze shifting to the door, and suddenly it was dark. The door was wide open, and Matt stood just outside. He was covered in bruises and his hair was a wild mess. Snowflakes dotted his eyelashes as the cold air outside made him shiver. Unlike Sunday night, he didn't come in. He simply stood there, eyes on Shiro but blank as if he wasn't truly seeing.

Suddenly, it wasn't Matt in the doorway. Matt's face changed, his figure growing larger. The person was unrecognizable until they lifted their head and met Shiro's eyes. He gasped as he took in a face he hadn't seen in years; one he'd last glimpsed in a photograph. This face wasn't like the picture, though. It was thin, broken, bruised, and bloody – mutilated. It was that of a dead man walking.

The figure morphed again, taking on the shape of another person Shiro had once known. Then another, and another. It morphed into the shape of a woman. She was around the height Matt had been when Shiro first met him, before he grew like a weed. Her frame was strong, but it sagged. She wasn't bloody as the others had been, rather she appeared normal. She looked as if she was just a person walking down the street, bar the way her entire body slumped as if the weight of the Earth had been dropped on her shoulders. She looked toward Shiro but didn't see him, didn't see anyone. Then she was falling to her knees, tears streaming down her blank face.

Shiro launched himself to his feet, rolling off his bed with so much force that he nearly fell over as he tried to stand. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbing a hand over his face. When he opened his eyes again, there was nothing by the door. It was shut as it had been all morning. However, the sights were still fresh in Shiro's mind.

Shiro's choked on the air as he took notice of his shallow, rapid breaths. The room around him began to shrink, the walls creeping closer as they threatened to crush him. The ceiling was sinking, pushing on his head until his legs shook from the weight of its burden. The light streaming through the window got brighter, so much so that it blinded him. The sound of voices outside grew louder, hissing directly in his ears. His shirt was too tight no matter how much he tugged on the collar, the fabric choking him. Everything was closing in, skittering under his skin like bugs until he couldn't stand it anymore.

Before he knew it, he had ripped off his cotton shirt and replaced it with a thin athletic jacket that he zipped only partway. His familiar leather gloves had slipped onto his hands, and his keys were shoved into the pockets of his athletic shorts. Then he was by the door with his shoes on his feet. He needed to get out, to get far away.

Shiro hastily yanked open his door, pulling it shut behind him just a little too harshly. He jammed his key into the lock with trembling hands and turned, then stormed away without checking to see if the door had actually locked. Hopefully it had, though he couldn't go back to check; he was already running.

Shiro didn't know where he was going until he found himself outside the building that housed the IT Center. His breathing had calmed to a manageable point and he was no longer suffocating. He noticed a surprising amount of his chest was exposed; his jacket was only half zipped. Heat filled his cheeks as he zipped it up closer to his collarbones.

Letting out a deep, slow breath, Shiro blinked. He felt much better. It seemed that a short run had been just what he needed, but he still scanned his surroundings readily in case Quinn was nearby.

Shiro slipped his phone from his pocket and checked for messages. He and Matt hadn't really talked since Sunday night, not that they were still arguing, rather because neither knew what to say. They'd exchanged only a handful of texts, most of which were strictly about Matt's continued absence from school.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Shiro journeyed into the building that stood before him. It had been quite a while since he went anywhere near the IT Center without the intention of meeting Matt there, and he got a bit nervous at the thought of talking to strangers. However, he continued. He had nothing important to do that day and wasn't ready to return to his dorm yet. While he may have calmed down, he wasn't sure if the anxiety he'd just left behind would return to him should he go back.

Shiro walked the familiar hallways and slipped through the doorway of the IT Center. It was nearly empty, not a single customer in the room. Then again, it was also Thursday morning; most students would be in class.

Two people were in the space behind the desk. One was a young man with his back to the desk as he hunched over a disassembled TV. The other was a somewhat older man with salt and pepper hair and glasses low on his nose as he inspected the interior of a smartphone. On his shirt was a nametag that read 'William Rift'.

It was the older man, Professor Rift, who noticed Shiro standing by the door and set his project aside. He strode up to the desk with his hands behind his back.

"Can I help you?" Rift asked.

Shiro approached the desk awkwardly as he fought the urge to stick his hands in his pockets since he wasn't sure what else to do with them. "Hi, uh, I don't have anything that needs to be fixed right now. I actually just wondered if you had any classwork I could bring to Matt, uh, Matt Holt," Shiro stated. He stuck out a hand. "I'm Takashi Shirogane, a friend of his."

"Ah, you're that Shiro fellow?" Rift questioned, accepting the handshake. "Yes. I have some work for him that Samuel Holt meant to pick up, but he's been busy with you aviation students. Right this way."

Shiro followed Rift out of the IT Center and down the hall to a pod of faculty offices. Rift crossed the room to one of the corner offices and unlocked the door before stepping inside. Rift shuffled through some files on his desk while Shiro waited in the doorway to avoid crowding the rather small space.

"I spoke to his other teachers and collected work from them as well these past few days. Normally, no professor at a university would bother with putting together work for a student who missed a few days of class. You're adults, you're responsible for yourself," Rift stated. "However, Samuel told me about what happened. Matthew is probably the brightest student I've had in years. He's at the top of his class and has never missed a day of work until now. It's a pity that something happened to him. There isn't anything I can do to help with that, but the least I can do is make sure he doesn't fall behind."

Shiro nodded. "Thank you, sir. I'm sure Matt will appreciate this."

Rift shook his head as he finally found the folder he was looking for and held it out to Shiro. "No, thank _you_. Matthew has always been a bit shy. He talks to the others working in the IT Center, but I hadn't seen him find an actual friend until he started talking about some young man named Shiro who had horrible luck with his technology. I was surprised when I found he was taking on your projects independently, free of charge."

"Yeah. He's saved my computer _and_ my wallet on quite a few occasions."

Rift nodded. "Well, tell Matthew he can email me if he had any questions, and I won't schedule him to work until he's feeling better and back at school."

"Thanks again," Shiro said, giving Rift a wave before turning around and heading for the stairs as the man tidied his desk.

Shiro quickly made his way outside, then flicked open the folder. His eyebrows rose at the hearty stack of papers inside, and he hoped they would be easy enough that they wouldn't take too long to complete.

Stepping into a light jog, Shiro wound his way back to his dorm, but rather than go inside, he slid into his car. Turning the key in the ignition, he backed out of his parking space and pulled onto the road, headed to the Holt household.

-000-

Shiro hesitated as he raised a fist to knock on the door of Matt's house. He wasn't sure what he'd do when the door opened, that is, _if_ anyone opened it. Should he drop off the work and leave? Go in and check on Matt? Talk to whoever was there? Offer help with any trivial tasks?

When Shiro finally knocked, it wasn't long before Sam opened the door. He looked tired, and there was a crease between his eyebrows that looked as if it was frozen there. Even when Sam's face relaxed at the sight of a familiar person, it stayed.

"Hey, Shiro," the older man greeted.

Shiro nodded in return. "Hello, sir. I stopped by the IT Center and picked up some classwork Professor Rift gathered for Matt. I thought I'd drop it off so he has a chance to catch up before he goes back to school."

"Oh, thank you. I was planning to pick it up, but Colleen had to work today so I stayed home with Matt. We're reluctant to leave him here by himself in case he needs something," Sam explained. "Speaking of, do you have a few minutes? I was actually just about to run to the store and pick up some painkillers, and it would be great if you could hang around with Matt until I get back," he said. "You don't have to if you're busy, though."

"Of course," Shiro replied. "I don't have anything to do today, and I haven't seen Matt since, well, Sunday."

The pair went silent for a moment.

"Sorry I didn't contact you right away. Matt didn't want to worry you and interrupt your meeting," Shiro said quietly.

Sam shook his head and reached out, clapping Shiro on the shoulder. "I know. He's been pretty stubborn about the whole situation. No need to apologize, Shiro, and thank you for taking him home."

Shiro stepped into the house as Sam moved back and swung the door open wider. He slipped his shoes off at the door, then headed in the direction of Matt's room. He stopped at the door, silent, contemplating, before finally knocking.

"Matt?"

There was silence for a moment, then the door opened. Matt stood on the other side, his eyes tired. The bruises on his face were fading, though one eye was still mottled purple and his cheeks were slightly discolored. More bruises disappeared beneath the collar and sleeves of the oversized t-shirt he was wearing, bruises that Shiro hadn't seen when Matt showed up at his dorm. The cut on his temple had healed well, reduced to a thin scab.

Matt's eyes lit up the slightest bit and his lips turned up in a relaxed smile when he realized it was Shiro outside his door.

"Hey," he greeted softly.

"Hey," Shiro replied, his mouth curving into a gentle grin.

The two stared at each other for a moment, then Matt stepped away to let Shiro into his room. The IT student slowly settled onto the floor next to a mess of circuits, then he slumped against his dresser behind him. Shiro followed suite, dropping to the floor across from him and leaning against Matt's bed.

Matt pulled the mess of circuits into his lap and picked up a screwdriver. He started to tinker with the mess in front of him as he nodded toward Shiro. "What's that?"

Shiro pulled the folder out from where he'd tucked it under his arm and set it down between him and Matt. "I stopped by the IT Center to see if your Professor had any classwork I could bring you. I guess he went around collecting sheets from all your classes."

Matt looked up, frowned, then jerked his head toward the bed. "You can just set it behind you. I doubt I'll be able to focus on It right now. Thanks for bringing it, though."

"No problem."

"Did you stop by there during a run?"

"A short one, yeah."

"I hope you weren't rushing or anything."

"Not really, though I was getting a bit antsy from being in my dorm all morning," Shiro explained vaguely as he thought back to the incident from that morning. He blinked to keep the memories from returning for a second round.

"Antsy enough that you forgot your shirt?"

Shiro looked down and felt his cheeks warm. The jacket was almost completely zipped, though it had a wide collar that left some of his shoulders exposed, as well as his chest down to the middle of his sternum.

"Uh, yeah, sorry," he lied. Being forgetful sounded better in his mind than saying his shirt had felt like it was choking him to death to the point that he couldn't wear it.

Matt left out and amused huff. "I'm just messing with you," he assured.

Shiro nodded, then exhaled. His eye drifted, once again taking in Matt's injuries. It had been four days, and while Matt looked much better than he had on Sunday, the bruises would need more time to heal. Now that Matt was wearing a t-shirt and athletic shorts instead of a hoodie and jeans, there were so many more bruises Shiro could see. The splotches dotted his legs from his feet to his thigh, the rest covered by Matt's shorts. Dark marks formed rings around one of his wrists.

"They aren't going to go away faster just because you frowned at them."

Shiro's head snapped up and his eyes met the gaze of Matt. "Sorry," he said, looking to the floor.

Matt sighed and set down his tools. "Stop looking so guilty. It's not like you shoved Quinn toward me and ran away."

"If I was close enough to shove him, I'd break his arms."

"Don't break his arms."

"No promises."

Matt scrubbed lightly at his face. "Come on, Shiro. We talked about this-"

"I know," Shiro interrupted. It was his turn to sigh. "But just… look at you, Matt. I told your family I'd watch your back, and now you're locked up in your house looking like someone hit you with their car. How am I supposed to not feel bad when I couldn't help you?"

"You _did_ help me, Shiro. You taught me how to fight back, and you kept me away from Quinn when you saw him nearby," Matt stated.

Shiro shook his head. "You said it yourself, Matt. You got hurt because you didn't want him to hurt me, my education. He used me against you, and that's on me."

"That's _Quinn's_ fault, not yours."

"I shouldn't have given him a way to do it."

"You didn't give him anything. Even if you didn't have a scholarship, he'd threaten your position as a student. If you weren't a student, he'd threaten your job, or your house. If he couldn't go after you, he'd threaten my parents and their jobs. He's crafty, and he'll always find a way. He's an asshole, he _used_ you. You're the victim."

"Even still-"

"Stop."

Shiro went silent, his mouth slamming shut as he watched Matt close his eyes and tip his head back. When he opened his eyes again and looked back at Shiro, all that showed on his face was exhaustion.

"Please, just… stop," Matt repeated. "I don't want to argue with you, to fight with you. I don't want to see you looking at me like I'm some puppy someone abandoned in a landfill, and I don't want you to beat yourself up thinking you're to blame for any of this. If anything, it's _my_ fault. Quinn is from _my_ past, and _I'm_ the one who got _you_ involved."

Shiro was silent, his face twisted in emotion. His eyes went to Matt's bruised wrist, and he reached for it with his left hand while keeping his right glued to his side. He picked up Matt's arm in a gentle grip, then ran a gloved thumb over the bruises so softly that he was barely touching them.

"You're my best friend, my only friend. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Matt laid his free hand on top of Shiro's and fixed the aviation student with a small smile. "I'll be fine," he stated. "I promise."

The pair was still for a moment, eyes on each other, then Matt slipped away and rose to his feet. "I have to find some parts for this mess in the basement," he said, gesturing to the wires and circuits he'd just dumped on the floor. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Then he was gone.

Shiro sat, staring at the doorway. His hand was cold from the absence of Matt's, and he found himself wishing he could turn back time to those few seconds. Matt had smiled genuinely and looked truly calm for the first time since he showed up at Shiro's door days ago. For a moment, it seemed that they really would be okay. That assurance was slipping away, and Shiro desperately wanted it back. He couldn't go back in time, though, so instead he folded his hands in his lap and waited.

-000-

Shiro hadn't waited long before he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked up to find Matt's sister, Pidge, standing in the doorway. She simply stood there, watching him as she mentally picked him apart and put him back together.

"Uh, hi," Shiro greeted.

Pidge didn't say anything in response, though she did hesitantly approach him and sit on the floor.

"How long have you known Matt?"

Shiro raised his eyebrows when Pidge spoke, slightly surprised that a question about her brother had been the first thing she said to him.

"Since the beginning of the semester. He fixed my phone."

"He talks about you a lot."

"He talks about a lot of stuff a lot. I never knew circuits could be so complicated."

"He trusts you a lot, too."

"I'd hope he at least trusts me a little, since we're friends."

"He said he was friends with the other IT workers, but none of them know about Quinn."

"Isn't that situation kinda personal, though?"

"Exactly."

Shiro fixed Pidge with a weird look. Their conversation was feeling less like a conversation and more like an interrogation.

"I mean, I only found out about Quinn because we saw him."

Pidge didn't respond, instead watching Shiro intently. She wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned forward, then spoke again.

"How much has he told you about Quinn?"

Shiro frowned. "Uh, he said Quinn gave him hell in high school."

"Anything else?"

"Not really."

"You didn't ask?"

"It's not like he's obligated to tell me."

Pidge went silent for another moment, then nodded and sighed. She relaxed a bit, leaning back and finally looking away from Shiro. Her gaze went to the pile of circuits on Matt's floor.

"Did he tell you how he got his scar?" she asked.

"Accident in the kitchen," Shiro responded.

Pidge shook her head. "The other one."

Shiro frowned and didn't respond. He wasn't aware that Matt even _had_ any major scars besides the one he'd received recently. Based on the questions Pidge had been asking, Shiro started to worry it was related to Quinn.

Pidge glanced toward the door, then looked at Shiro. "We don't talk about it, but there was one time that Quinn went way too far," she began. "I mean, all of it was too far, but this was the worst. Quinn and his friends caught Matt in the stairwell. It was the one place in the school with no security cameras. I don't know why they felt the need, but they went overboard. Then they left him there. Another student found him and ran off to find a teacher. He ended up in the hospital for three days and left with a scar on his side from something. The doctors were thinking it was likely a pencil because it was too jagged to be from a knife."

Shiro felt his heart go cold in his chest as his gut turned to ice. His fists were clenched so hard at his sides that his gloves nearly squeaked.

"Since no cameras caught the attack, the only evidence was Matt's word. He told them it was Quinn and his buddies, but none of them had a single scratch on them, and the school believed the culprits would have been at least slightly injured from Matt fighting back. They didn't stop to consider the possibility that Matt was some little twig of a teenage who couldn't throw a proper punch and probably couldn't manage a single scratch on Quinn and his guys no matter how hard he fought back. Some other students also claimed Quinn and his buddies had been outside playing some sports with them. Since the only outside cameras were fixed on the main entrance of the school, there was no evidence that they attacked Matt before slipping outside. None of them got caught, and our parents made Matt switch schools so it wouldn't happen again."

Shiro said nothing even after Pidge went silent, his mind trying to process what he'd just heard. Bullying, physical and verbal bullying, was bad enough. But getting someone sent to the hospital? Quinn should have gotten arrested for going that far, and yet he'd managed to worm his way out of punishment. No wonder the Holts were so hesitant to accuse him without major evidence.

"It was my pencil."

Shiro and Pidge both snapped their faces toward the doorway where Matt stood. Neither had heard him approach, nor had they seen him, and they didn't know how long he'd been outside listening.

"The last thing they did before they left was push me down the stairs," Matt explained as he moved to his place on the floor next to his circuits. His fingers absentmindedly touched his side. He set to work on the circuits as he spoke, the parts he'd taken from the basement abandoned beside him. "The pencil poked through a hole in the bottom of my bag and I landed on it on the way down. It cut my side pretty good, then got broken."

Shiro had no words, and even Pidge looked surprised. It seemed she hadn't been aware of that detail.

"It all happened like Pidge said. They knocked me around a bit, everyone threw their punches and kicks, then they shoved me down the stairs and ran away with smug looks on their face thinking they were doing God's work, or something. Kill the nerds, I guess. I tried to explain that they were the ones who did it, but there was nothing to prove it, and the school already knew I hated Quinn. In their eyes, I'd had an unfortunate accident and fallen down the stairs, then blamed it on poor Quinn because I didn't like him and wanted to ruin his life."

Matt picked up one of the parts at his side, and while his voice was steady, his true fear and anger were betrayed by the way he held the part just a little too tightly.

"The strangest thing was that, during my third day at the hospital - after the school decided Quinn was innocent - he and his buddies got jumped on the street. He said I was behind it, that I'd gotten mad about the school not punishing him and had called someone else to take care of it for me. We don't really know who was behind it, but I didn't get blamed for it in the end. I had been at the hospital since my attack and was under constant monitoring. If I'd contacted someone, there would have been record of it, so the school knew it wasn't me." Matt let out a flat chuckle. "I almost wish it had been. It would have been nice to see the looks on their faces as they finally got what they deserve."

Pidge stood abruptly and walked out, her face blank. Shiro watched her go with a feeling of pity. Even as Matt's sister, it seemed there was a lot she had never heard before. It was too bad she was learning about it all at once.

Shiro himself was silent, unsure of what to say. He felt it would be stupid to apologize, to say that what happened was terrible. Stating the obvious wouldn't help anyone. He couldn't say, "it won't happen again" either, seeing as it basically had.

"We'll get him soon." Shiro found himself spouting a new line. Looking back in the past wouldn't fix the future, nor would crying over Matt's current state. All that would stop Quinn was planning ahead. "He'll slip up, whether it's because of him or because we made him, and he'll get what he deserves when we catch him."

Matt's hands halted, falling into his lap while he clutched a pair of pliers in a stiff grip. "I hope so," he said.

The pair went silent, not even looking at each other. It wasn't until the front door opened that they took their eyes off the ground.

"I'm back!" Sam called from the entrance.

Matt and Shiro rose to their feet, then ventured to the living room to meet Sam. The man had a bottle of Tylenol in one hand and his phone in the other, and he handed the Tylenol off to Matt when the young man neared.

"Thanks," Matt said. He headed for the kitchen, picking up a glass from the counter. He filled it with water, cracked open the bottle, then popped two enormous tablets in his mouth one at a time. Once he finished, he let out a yawn and blinked slowly.

"You should get some more sleep, kid," Sam recommended, eyebrows furrowed as worry twisted his expression. He kept his eyes on Matt as the young man nodded in agreement and headed back toward his room.

"I'll get going, then. Text me if you need anything, Matt," Shiro said, backing toward the door. He gave Sam a smile when the man mouthed 'thank you' to him, then slid his shoes on and headed for his car.

Just as Shiro was about to turn the key in the ignition, Pidge came running out of the house. She stopped next to his car and knocked on his window, prompting him to roll it down.

"You left your phone in Matt's room. He was gonna bring it out, but I'm pretty sure he was asleep before dad could tell him to let me do it. Pain meds always make him tired," the girl explained, holding out Shiro's phone.

"Thanks," he said. "And I'm sorry you had to hear about what happened to Matt again, especially if you didn't know about all of it."

Pidge frowned. "There were a few things I didn't know, but, I'm glad Quinn got attacked afterward. It's a good thing he got jumped at night so he couldn't really see who did it."

Before Shiro could reply, Pidge was running back to the house. Shiro watched her go, then rolled up his window and left. He spent the drive back to his dorm thinking about everything Matt had said, and he had to pause and take a deep breath when he found his foot growing heavy on the gas while his blood boiled in rage.

It wasn't until Shiro was back at his dorm, laying on his bed with his eyes on the ceiling, that he frowned at something he'd heard. Pidge had said she hadn't known a lot of stuff, but when she ran his phone out to him, she had said something that caught his attention. She said Quinn got jumped at night and couldn't see his attackers. Matt hadn't mentioned any such details, only stating that Quinn had been jumped and blamed Matt for it as he filled in the gaps from Pidge's retelling of everything that had happened. Maybe Matt just hadn't thought to go so deep into detail with Quinn's attack, especially because talking about past trauma wasn't exactly easy or fun, as Shiro knew. However, the look in Pidge's eyes when she stood outside his car had been dark and angry, and Shiro found himself intrigued. Maybe Katie Holt knew more than she let on.

* * *

SUMMARY: Shiro has a day off and is extremely bored until he starts experiencing some flashbacks to Matt showing up at his door injured, followed by flashbacks to trauma during his time in the military. He reacts negatively and quickly leaves his dorm to calm down. he ends up stopping by the IT Center where he meets Professor Rift and takes a folder full of classwork for Matt to the Holt household. Shiro hands around with Matt while Sam runs to the store, and he and Matt have another short argument over the Quinn situation because Shiro feels guilty about not being able to help. The argument ends with Shiro admitting his overall fear is that Matt will be hurt again, worse. Matt promises he will be okay, then leaves momentarily to gather parts for a project he's working on. While he's gone, Pidge shows up and questions Shiro to gauge whether or not he can be trusted. Once she deems him safe, she explains that Matt was hospitalized for three days in highschool following an attack by Quinn and some of his friends. Due to the lack of security footage and a crafty lie, Quinn gets away with the attack, which left Matt with a scar on his side. Following the attack against Matt, Quinn and his buddies were attacked. Quinn blamed Matt, though Matt was under supervision at the hospital and declared innocent. The Holts don't know who was behind the attack against Quinn, but are somewhat happy about it.

Once Sam returns from the store, Shiro leaves but forgets his phone inside. Matt falls asleep after taking pain medication so Pidge takes Shiro his phone. They talk a little, and Pidge mentions that it was good that Quinns guys got jumped at night so they couldn't see who attacked them. Upon returning to his dorm, Shiro realizes matt never mentioned the time of day when explaining the attack, despite a lot of what he explained to Shiro being new information to Pidge as well. Shiro gets somewhat suspicious and starts to think Pidge knows more than she lets on.


	25. Fraying

A/N: Hey! I took a little break from writing in the middle of June since I'm working nearly full time now, so I wrote this new chapter somewhat recently. It's a little shorter than what I wanted, but the next one is planned to be long, so hopefully that makes up for it. I'm uploading just before I need to go to work, so i hope you all enjoy this chapter!

* * *

It was Saturday the next time Shiro saw Matt. The Holts had originally planned to keep him home until Monday, but he had been recovering well. He finished his missed schoolwork in less than two days and gotten bored to the point that Sam walked into his room to find him half dangling off his bed solving a Rubik's Cube while upside down. Matt called Rift and asked if he could go in and work on projects in the back room, and the Holts allowed him to go on the condition that he would allow Colleen to walk him from the car to the IT Center, then not leave the room until one of his parents arrived at the IT Center itself to walk him to the car.

Shiro had been informed of Matt's presence on campus by a text.

 **Matt: Hey I'm back at school**

 **Matt: Well not really _at school_ more like im on campus**

 **Matt: I was getting really bored**

 **Matt: Rift let me go to work**

 **Matt: I just gotta stay in the back room out of sight**

 **Matt: Ive only been here for 20 mins and my hands already hURT**

 **Matt: Anyone who doesn't do tech work will never understand the pain of hand cramping from using tiny screwdrivers and tweezers**

In less than a minute, Shiro was stepping out the door with his keys in one hand and phone in the other. He'd yanked on his leather gloves and a random jacket that was clearly not warm enough for the cool, late-November day, but he didn't care. He had places to be, and a little bit of a chill wasn't going to make him turn back.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Shiro continued on his way. He wanted to put his head down to help keep some of the cold breeze off his face, but his instincts refused to let him rest. He was alert; chin up, muscles tense, eyes scanning his surroundings continuously.

As Shiro neared the IT Center, he started to feel a little calmer. He hadn't seen anyone else out on the street, other students likely staying inside instead of venturing into the cold. With everything that had happened recently, Quinn wasn't the only one who made him wary. Random people he'd never met before made him tense up, and anyone who stared at him a little too long made him start to feel threatened. Shiro knew he was simply hyperaware, his brain wound up so tight that he could barely relax. The tightness that twisted his chest only grew more uncomfortable no matter how slowly he breathed.

As Shiro rounded the last corner on the way to the IT Center, he froze. In front of the building stood a young man in a navy-blue hoodie, hands in his pockets. His head was tilted up as he gazed at the higher floor, and even from the side, Shiro recognized him instantly.

Quinn's gaze slid from the building to Shiro, and his lips pulled themselves into a slight frown. He stood and watched Shiro with a blank look that betrayed none of the thoughts in his head or emotions in his heart. His eyes were desolate. He didn't look distraught, afraid, cheerful, or smug. Unlike the average person, he gave nothing away; a good actor indeed.

Shiro felt something snap in his gut, and his hands clenched into fists so tense that he felt the leather of his gloves threatening to split. The cold was suddenly a distant memory as his body flooded with the heat of fury and rage. Every fiber of his being wanted to step forward, grab Quinn, and snap him like a twig. Break his arms, shatter his fingers so he'd never be able to make a fist again, nor would he be able to hurt some again. Paint his face black and blue with punches hard enough to leave a dent. Make him bleed, make him cry, make him feel every ounce of pain he'd every inflicted on anyone, Matt especially.

Shiro didn't move. Violence wasn't something he enjoyed, and not even beating Quinn – of all people – to a pulp would bring him so much as a smile. He might feel that he accomplished something, that he got revenge, but then he'd just feel cold. He wasn't the savage or brute some people believed he was when they saw him; that was the person in front of him. Besides, there was something far more important than his own anger on Shiro's mind. Matt had told him to stand down. Matt, the one who was suffering, had made a request. He'd endured Quinn's twisted wrath partially for Shiro's sake, and the last thing Shiro wanted to do was waste that sacrifice. Matt had been right about Quinn being crafty, but Quinn wouldn't need crafty if the security camera above the door of the building in front of them caught Shiro lunging at Quinn and beating the shit out of him.

It was Quinn who moved first. He turned to face Shiro, then continued to stare. He stared for nearly a minute, jaw tense, then turned around and walked away.

Shiro watched Quinn go, standing with his feet rooted to the concrete beneath them until Quinn was completely out of sight. Only then did Shiro take a step, heavy feet stomping the ground just a little too hard as he made his way inside.

Pausing outside the door to the IT Center, Shiro took a deep breath. He tried to calm his nerves and bury the anger that made his blood boil beneath his skin, though the lingering tension refused to go away. The tightness that had been building in his chest had only grown worse, nearly strangling him.

Shaking out his head, Shiro stepped into the IT Center. He instantly caught the attention of the girl at the counter – Cypress - who took one look at him and walked into the back room. She emerged moments later with Matt, whose face had finally shed the bruises that had colored it days ago. Only a slight shadow around one of his eyes remained.

"Hey," Matt greeted, a small smile on his face.

"Hey," Shiro returned.

Matt walked along the counter to the far end where a short door with a plain handle was. He pulled the door open and gestured toward the back room with his head, waiting until Shiro hesitantly stepped past the counter before he closed the door and led the way. The pair took a sharp turn after entering the back room, coming to a halt at a row of tables with a few chairs stacked next to them in the corner of the room.

As Shiro pulled a chair from the stack and set it down for himself, he noted with a feeling of nausea that the table Matt was working at was completely out of sight for anyone on the customer side of the counter. There was even an array of broken tech laid out across the other tables spanning the wall on the side of the room Matt was on. There was plenty to work on, so much that Matt wouldn't have to pass the doorway to grab another project to work on when he finished what he was doing. He'd never be in sight for anyone who might come by the IT Center. No one else would know he was there.

Neither Matt nor Shiro spoke for the first ten minutes that Shiro was there. Matt was focused on his work, switching between screwdrivers, tweezers, and tools Shiro didn't recognize without missing a beat. Shiro simple watched him, intrigued. Seeing Matt working was… nice, in a way. His face was relaxed, though his eyebrows would pinch together when something didn't go right. He'd bite his lip when working on something small, so intensely focused that even an earthquake probably couldn't break his concentration.

When Matt finished with the project he'd been working on when Shiro arrived, he set it aside with a growing pile of finished work and started looking over the remaining broken tech next to him. He ended up plucking a phone with a shattered screen from the pile and returning to his seat with it.

Just as Matt was about to get started, Cypress greeted a customer. Shiro tensed, straining his ears as he tried to listen for the voice of the customer. When the customer spoke in an unfamiliar tone, Shiro let out a sigh and closed his eyes in relief. Once he opened them, he saw Matt watching him with a slightly confused look as he held a screwdriver in his fingers loosely.

Shiro tried glancing away, but Matt was still looking at him expectantly, clearly interested in what made Shiro so hyperaware. A dark look in his eyes told Shiro he already knew but was waiting to hear it himself.

"On my way over, I saw Quinn standing in front of the building," Shiro admitted, his gaze resting on the floor. "He was staring up at this floor."

Matt said nothing, so Shiro risked a glance up. Matt's expression expressed some of the worry Shiro had expected, though he was surprised to find his friend leveling him with a wary look.

"Did you do anything?" Matt asked slowly, his gaze gradually sliding toward the phone in his hand.

"No. No, I didn't," Shiro assured. He saw Matt's shoulders relax slightly. "I wanted to-" Matt's head whipped toward Shiro as he raised his eyebrows in warning "-but I didn't, I promise."

Setting down his screwdriver, Matt sighed. "Thanks." He blinked slowly, and his face seemed to age ten years in mere seconds. He was stressing over the possibility of seeing Quinn, the extreme vigilance and anxiety that came with _not_ seeing Quinn, worry over what might happen to his friends and family, and what he could and could not avoid.

Matt opened his mouth like he meant to speak, then closed it, then opened it again. In the end, nothing came out. Instead, he shook his head and returned to working.

Shiro watched with a pang of guilt. He knew what it was like to feel stuck, to have no answers. He'd never been in Matt's exact position, but he'd seen similar situations. To be threatened with your friends on the line –your family—Shiro knew that well. He didn't like the way Matt was thinking, the way he was accepting the brunt of everything Quinn was throwing at him for the sake of others. However, Shiro knew that he was no different. He would do the exact same thing no matter who tried to change his mind, so who was he to lecture Matt more than he already had? It was easier to suffer than to watch those you care about suffer.

The sound of approaching footsteps broke Shiro from his thoughts, and he looked over his shoulder to see Cyprus poking her head through the door.

"Matt," she said, trying to get her coworkers attention. Matt was silent.

"Matt."

" _Matt_."

Cyprus' attempts were fruitless; Matt was already deep in his own head and focused on his work.

Taking pity on Cyprus, Shiro turned away from her and reached toward his friend. "Matt," he called, tapping lightly on the younger man's upper arm. "Matthew."

Matt's head jerked up his gaze zipping from the phone in front of him to Shiro, then to Cyprus. "Hm?"

Cyprus shook her head, but her lips were turned up in an amused smile. "Your dad just called us and said you left your painkillers at home. He wants to know if you want someone to bring them," she explained.

Matt frowned. "Why didn't he just call me?" he asked.

"He did. Four time, apparently."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now if you value your life, answer quickly."

"No, I'm fine."

Cypress swung out of the doorway, returning to the counter outside.

Matt and Shiro watched Cypress go, then Matt dug around in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out and was met with notifications for four missed calls and seven texts from both Sam and Colleen.

"I am _so_ dead."

Shiro frowned. "Can't blame your parents for worrying."

Matt nodded in agreement, scrubbing at his face with his hands. He winced when he pressed too hard on the fading bruise around his eye, pulling his hands away from his face abruptly with a scowl.

"Ow."

Shiro furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Are you sure you don't need painkillers? I could always run back to my dorm and grab some."

Matt shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I haven't taken any the last few days."

"You do look much better."

Matt scrunched up his face into an exaggerated pout. "Oh no, did you miss my beautiful, undamaged face?"

Shiro left out an amused huff. "Yes, it was so tragic," he stated sarcastically. His voice softened. "I'm just glad you're not hurt anymore."

"Just about. I want to say all I have to do is steer clear of Quinn, but something tells me it won't be that easy."

Shiro frowned. "Is he actively going after you?" That would explain seeing him outside the building earlier.

"When he jumped me earlier this week, that was no accident."

"Has he been doing that since we saw him in the library that first time?"

"No, I think he just happened to be in the same area at the same time at first."

"What changed?"

Matt was silent for a moment, and Shiro felt unease creeping up his throat like bile. "What happened?" he asked slowly, his voice low.

Matt looked away from Shiro with a wince. If the conversation were about anything else, Shiro would have stopped pushing there. However, Quinn was no topic to be gentle with.

"I, uh, saw him at the aviation fair."

Shiro's blood ran cold.

Matt sighed. "I went out to my dad's car to get the computer charger, and he was headed into the fair. He called out to me and when I asked why he was there since I thought he might have been following me, he said he was interested in the aviation program," he explained. "I don't know if I believed him or not, but by then, I was tired of being afraid of him. It was stressing me out, and I'm stronger than I was in high school."

Shiro's jaw muscle twitched from tension.

"I decided I'd tell him to shove it up his ass, then I told him to fuck off and left before he could say anything back. That pissed him off. He even brought it up when he jumped me, basically saying he wanted revenge or something."

"What did your dad say about it?" Shiro asked. He was surprised Sam hadn't abandoned ship at the fair and taken Matt home then and there.

"Oh, uh… I didn't tell him. I didn't want to make him worry."

Shiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You should have told him, or me. We're here to help you, Matt."

"I know! I'm sorry. I just didn't want to get anyone else involved, and I didn't think he'd be able to kick the shit out of me even if he tried. When he jumped me, I fought back okay at first, it was just when he started threatening you…" Matt trailed off.

"But if it happens again, you'll protect yourself," Shiro stated. His voice may have been warm, but his words were clearly an order.

"I know." Matt's voice had gone quiet. He scrunched up his eyebrows as if deep in thought, then looked back at Shiro. With an expressionless face, Matt looked Shiro directly in the eyes and said, "If I see him again, he can say goodbye to his kneecaps."

Shiro stared. He said nothing at first, then cocked his head in confusion.

Matt searched Shiro's face with a hopefully glint in his eyes, though once he realized Shiro didn't understand, he sighed. "It's because, y'know, I'm short. And short people… can just… go for the knees."

Shiro frowned. "You're not that short. I mean, you were at the beginning of the semester but… you grow like a weed."

It was Matt's turn to frown. The younger man abruptly stood, then stared at Shiro expectantly until he stood as well. They weren't too far apart, and it was easy to see that Matt had in fact grown significantly. Not long ago when they'd started Matt's self-defense lessons, he'd been about chin-height on Shiro. Now, the top of his head was just under Shiro's nose.

"Holy shit."

Matt tilted his head up to look up at Shiro, then looked down, then back up again. "If I'm not taller than you by next year I'm gonna eat an onion like an apple." His face was determined

Shiro raised his eyebrows. "Okay, first of all, don't. Second of all-" Shiro paused, a playful grin manifesting on his face "-don't count on it," he challenged.

Matt snorted. "Oh, I _will_."

Caught up in the moment, neither heard footsteps approaching until a voice made them both jump.

"If you boyfriends are done giggling and staring lovingly into each other's eyes, I need a hand."

Cyprus stood with her arms crossed and side leaning against the doorframe, her face painted with an expression that said she wasn't serious. Still, Matt and Shiro both went pink, and Matt quickly jerked away and dropped into his chair.

"What did you need?" Matt asked, turning around to face his coworker. There was a slight tremor in his voice.

Cyprus nodded at Shiro. "I need to borrow The Incredible Hulk over here. A customer just dropped off a tower that weighs twice what I do, so I can't bring it back here."

Matt looked to Shiro, who nodded, then back at Cyprus. "Okay, but if you break him, you're buying me a new one."

Shiro put a hand on his chest with a look of mock betrayal. "How dare you assume such a priceless work of art could be replaced!"

The three broke into chuckles as Cyprus led Shiro to the counter while Matt got back to work. Shiro made quick work of moving the computer that had been brought in, letting Cyprus lead him around and guide him to the proper area for new arrivals. He then pulled out his phone to check the time and discovered that he'd been at the IT Center longer than he thought.

Shiro glanced around, noting that Cyprus had gone back to the counter while Matt was once again hyper-focused on the tech in front of him. He seemed to have gotten quite a bit done earlier but was only working on his second project since Shiro arrived. There was still a massive pile of broken tech next to him, and he likely had five hours left in his shift at most. That wasn't enough time to finish the work at his current pace.

Unsure of whether he wanted to stick around and talk to Matt and watch over him or leave Matt in peace to finish his work without distractions, Shiro frowned. He glanced at his phone again, then at Matt, then at all the broken tech. He debated, weighing the choices in his head against his worries, then finally made a decision. Shiro tapped the volume button on his phone, turning the ringer all the way up, then crossed the room. He tapped Matt on the shoulder, then waited for his friend to break away from his focus.

"Hm?" Matt tilted his head back, the base of his skull dropping to his shoulders as he leaned over the back of his chair and looked up at Shiro while still holding the broken phone he was working on in his hands.

"You look like you've got a lot to do, so I think I'll head out," Shiro said. His eyebrows furrowed. "Just… If you have a problem, call me. I'll be back before you know it."

Matt gave Shiro a thankful smile and nodded. "I will, thanks."

Shiro returned Matt's nod, then turned and headed for the main room. Just as he reached the door, Matt's voice rang out behind him.

"You be careful too."

` Shiro paused. He was a huge and intimidating guy. It was rare that he'd encounter any dangerous situations, seeing as most people would take one look at him and decide they wanted to keep their neck intact. For that reason, no one ever felt the need to express worry over his safety. It was nice to hear, though. Matt's words were a reminder that Shiro wasn't just someone there to protect him, but also his friend. They looked after _each other_. Shiro smiled.

"I will."

Minutes later, the two were far apart. Matt was still in his seat, and Shiro was already out of the building. However, the pair stopped in sync. Shiro ceased his walking, and Matt set down his tools. Both leaned their heads back, anxiety welling up within them, then exhaled a long, slow breath. Neither were sure where to go next, what to do to keep the other safe. They'd made it this far, though, and knew they would figure something out. Matt picked up his tools again with newfound focus steadying his shaky hands. Shiro resumed walking, a new destination in mind.

-000-

The university's gym had dozens of machines Shiro frequented with every trip, though this time, he bypassed them all. He didn't feel like lifting dumbbells or heavy bars, nor was he interested in doing lunges or squats on the open floor as he often liked to. He bypassed the treadmills with a grimace. The last thing he wanted to do was run, let alone on something with no start or end point.

Shiro found himself in front of the punching bags in the back of the gym, his leather gloves pulled tight over his fingers. He'd stopped at his dorm for mere minutes to change his clothes, then he was off to the gym. He hadn't even bothered to bring his duffel bag, only a set of earbuds for music. He put them in but didn't bother to play a song. He was feeling too impatient to pick a song, or even push the play button and listen to whatever came on. The constant, faint ringing in his ears was enough to cover any background noise the earbuds didn't fully block out.

Shiro shifted his feet, then launched a fist into the bag. The chains above and below the bag rattled in protest from the force. He punched again, harder this time. Then again, and again. His strikes became increasingly more violent, his jaw muscles clenching so tightly that his jaw itself felt like it might lock. Shiro ignored it and continued. All the anger that had flooded him recently, the pure fury that had bubbled up within him and been forced down again and again was returning. It made the air around him feel hot as if he was burning alive. Maybe he was, boiling from the inside out from the heat of his own anger. Anger toward Matt for not putting himself first. Anger toward Quinn for making the life of the kindest, most considerate young man Shiro knew a shadow of suffering. Anger toward himself for not being able to act, not knowing how to help. Everything he'd bottled up recently, from the stress and anger others brought upon him to the repetitive losing battles he fought in his own head that kept him awake at night and sapped him of every ounce of energy he had, came spilling forth. Shiro simply lost himself in a flurry of attacks on the punching bag in front of him. Harsh punches were joined by savage kicks and sharp elbows and knees. Shiro let everything out, pouring every bit of the fire within him into the target in front of him while his heavy, deep breaths released the heat from within him.

Hours may have passed while Shiro was attacking the punching bag, or it could have been mere minutes. Time meant nothing to him at the moment. He was focused, and nothing else mattered, not until his phone came to life in his pocket.

Shiro's heart froze, and he ripped his phone out of his pocket before the second ring could even start. His eyes closed in on the number and he found that it was only a spam call. The sight made Shiro sigh in relief for the tenth time that day as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

An attempt to lift his head left Shiro a failure. Instead of returning to his phase of rage, he stumbled forward and leaned against the punching he'd nearly annihilated. There were dents in the bag that Shiro wasn't sure would smooth out, but he didn't have it in him to care. He'd let everything out, the rush of adrenaline from the call washing away with every bit of strength he had left. Now he was an exhausted shell. He was still angry, but it didn't boil his blood or make his jaw clench.

Struggling to catch his breath as his downcast eyes crawled slowly around the floor, Shiro sagged against the punching bag. He hadn't had such a strong outburst in years. He simply hoped the whole Quinn issue would be resolved soon, that Quinn would end up too far away to ever so much as look at Matt again. If not, Shiro wasn't sure how much more he could take before he couldn't hold himself back. He didn't like violence, but a human could only hang on so long before they snapped, and the cord holding Shiro's sanity together frayed faster and faster with each passing day of crushing anxiety over what would happen next.


	26. Painful Revelations

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this is a little late, I was without wifi for a week. That aside, let me just say that this was probably my least favorite chapter to write for a lot of reasons. Probably the worst was some of the words and lines spoken. It was a tough decision for me to not censor f*g as I have here, as I've heard is from strangers and family members alike. I hate the word, but in the end I decided to leave it as is. That being said, please be careful if you have difficulty with that slur. I believe it only comes up twice, but it is in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading it far more than I enjoyed writing it.

* * *

By Tuesday afternoon, the entire Holt family was holding their breath. Sam had overheard some professors and learned that Quinn had gone to class with a nasty black eye soon after he attacked Matt, then began skipping classes. Without other information it was hard to determine the reasoning, but it could only be one of two things: either Quinn had given up, or he was planning something.

With Matt finally healed, his parents decided to relax the tight restrictions they had placed on him. He could walk around by himself during the day as long as he stayed in more crowded areas, and he no longer received calls and texts every ten minutes. He still couldn't be on his own in a deserted area or at night since there was no guarantee that Quinn wasn't watching and waiting, but the slight loosening of the leash around his neck was a significant relief.

Shiro was in his dorm reading a book he'd received from his younger brother's friend Lance when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. Immediately he dropped the book and clawed at the nightstand to pick up his phone. He held the screen too close to his face as he read the text and held his breath out of worry that something might have happened.

 **Sam: I have a meeting tonight and Colleen has to work. Matt is supposed to meet me at the aviation building, but it might be dark out by the time he gets there, and I don't want him out alone at night. Do you mind walking with him?**

Letting out a heavy sigh of relief, Shiro let his phone fall into his lap as he dropped his head against the wall behind him and closed his eyes. As much as he hoped Quinn had given up, that he'd gotten his "revenge" in his last attack on Matt or decided Matt had grown too troublesome to continue targeting, he knew that wasn't the case. He'd seen guys like Quinn before, guys who latched onto a target and never let go. Some of them had been brutal, others even deadly. It was hard to tell which one Quinn was, though it was safe to say he wasn't just someone with a nasty bark and harmless bite.

Picking up his phone, Shiro typed out a response.

 **Shiro: Sure, just have him text me when he's ready to go. I can drive him over, too, so he's not on the street.**

 **Sam: As much as I'd appreciate it, they're working on a burst pipe under the road on campus. They have a section including the route from the IT Center to aviation building closed off while they work. You won't be able to park very close and will end up walking through more unlit areas than you would just walking the whole way. The only way in and out of here is a service road accessible only to staff. It's okay if you can't do it or don't want to walk so far. I can just have Matt wait in the IT building.**

 **Shiro: It's fine I can do it.**

 **Sam: Okay. I can give you a ride back to your dorm after the meeting, too. You'll have to stick around for a bit, but I'd prefer you not go out by yourself either.**

 **Shiro: If you don't mind, thanks.**

 **Sam: Thank you. I'll see you tonight**

Shiro tossed his phone down onto his bed and picked up his book once again. It was fairly interesting, enough so that he felt compelled to finish it by the end of the day before he went out to walk with Matt. At first, he'd winced at the thought of some coming-of-age novel with a romantic subplot that takes place in the eighties, but it was quickly piquing his interest. Benjamin Alire Sáenz was a good author indeed.

-000-

It was nearly nine in the evening when Shiro got a text from Matt saying the IT Center would close soon and he was almost ready to leave. Shiro had already pulled on his typical long-sleeved attire and leather gloves, then he also wrapped a scarf around his neck to combat the biting cold of the near-winter air outside. He was out the door in less than a minute.

Shiro frowned when he neared the building that housed the IT Center but didn't see Matt, only to watch the young man slip out through the front door once Shiro approached.

"Hey," Matt greeted with a wave.

Shiro returned the greeting with a nod, then tossed his head in the direction of the aviation building. "You ready to go?"

Matt bobbed his head in agreement and started off, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. "Why is it so _cold_? Seriously, I think my hands are gonna fall off," he complained.

"You realize that it's winter," Shiro pointed out. He kicked at the dusting of snow on the ground. "It's been snowing on and off for like a week."

Matt pouted. "Screw it, I'm moving to Florida. This is bullshit."

"Florida won't have cancelled classes because of snowstorms."

"…Perhaps I can wait and see."

Shiro chuckled, causing Matt to continue to pout until the humor got the best of him and split his face into a grin.

"Hey, it's not _that_ bad," Shiro claimed, pulling his phone from his pocket. He clicked the power button and glanced at the screen. "It's only… thirty degrees out."

"Anything below sixty belongs in the arctic."

"That's not how climate works."

"That's how climate _should_ work."

"So, do you want it to be eighty degrees or more every day?"

Matt grimaced. "Oh hell no. Keep that shit at the equator."

Shiro shook his head. "You're worse than Eurus."

"At least _she_ understands me."

"True. She does tend to think about nothing but where the snacks are and if it's too hot or too cold."

Matt gasped. " _How dare_ you call me out like that!"

Shiro gave an exaggerated eye roll, and Matt retaliated by sticking his foot out and poking at Shiro's leg with it in a gentle mock kick. The two had grins on their faces that warmed their whole bodies despite the cold winter evening air. They felt light, and the pent-up fear and anxiety that had been torturing them for weeks seemed to have disappeared.

Unfortunately, good things never seemed to last long. The pair was just over halfway to the aviation building, still talking, smiling, and laughing, when something stood in their path.

As Matt and Shiro neared a streetlamp, something stalked out from the shadows. Dark jeans, dirty sneakers, and a rumpled hoodie stepped into the light and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. It made Shiro and Matt glance up in sync, then freeze where they were.

Quinn looked terrible. His hair was a mess under his hood, not neat like he tended to keep it. Dark circles under his eyes were exaggerated on one side by a bruise still trying to heal. His eyes appeared bloodshot and his pupils dilated.

"Hey there, Holt." Quinn's tone carried the essence of a taunt.

Shiro and Matt both stayed silent, not taking their eyes off the young man in front of them.

"Thanks for the little makeover," Quinn continued, tapping his black eye. "My buddies really liked it. Nasty bruise from some nerdy twink? Pathetic!" He spat the last word with his brow furrowed. "They got a good laugh outta' that. Can't even go to class without getting their shit." That explained where Quinn had disappeared off to. "You should've just taken it like you always did back in high school. Maybe then I'd have forgiven you for the stunt you pulled on me and my guys. But it seems like you have a good time poking the bear." He paused. "I hope you didn't think you wouldn't get bit."

Quinn took a step forward, and Shiro instinctively sidestepped so he was partially in front of Matt. It seemed that wasn't a good move, though, as Quinn's face split into a malicious grin.

"Oh, you've trained him well, Holt. Are you sure he isn't your bodyguard?"

Shiro frowned. "What do you want?" he questioned.

Quinn sighed heavily. "You poor thing. You don't know what you're standing next to, do you?" He turned his gaze to Matt. "Come on, Holt. Tell him. Tell him what you are." He paused, then shook his head when Matt stayed silent. "Really? Do you want me to tell him for you? I was just hoping to watch him beat the shit outta' you, but…"

"What are you talking about?" Shiro asked, eyebrows furrowed. His entire body was tense, ready to strike if needed. He had promise not to throw the first punch, but the moment Quinn came at them, he would return the favor with no mercy.

"Don't listen to a word he says, Shiro," Matt interrupted, speaking for the first time since they saw Quinn. He was so tense that he was nearly shaking, and his hands were clenched so tightly that his fingernails dug painfully into his palms.

Quinn looked to Shiro. "I don't know what he's paying you, but you seem like a smart guy. I'd get the hell away from him if I were you, though. Never know what that fuckin' weirdo might do."

Shiro frowned but didn't respond.

Quinn sighed again, turning in a full circle as he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Come _on_! Is your brain made of protein powder?" he questioned. Quinn looked to Matt. "For a nerd, you've got stupid friends- or should I say _friend_. At least everyone else has enough of a brain to keep away from you." Quinn looked back to Shiro. "Hey, China -or whatever your name is- he's a _freak_ , alright? He probably wants to molest you in your sleep or something."

Shiro's frown deepened as the slightest bit of confusion slipped into his expression.

"Oh my _god_ , do I need to spell it out for you? He's a _fag! Gay! He likes dick!_ "

Matt stiffened. Shiro glanced at him quickly, then looked back at Quinn in silence.

Quinn pulled his hands from his pockets and scrubbed at his face tiredly. "Dude, he only hangs around with you because you're his type! A huge muscle guy-"

" _Shut. Up._ "

Matt's voice was low and full of rage. He was shaking from the sheer fury coursing through his body.

Quinn didn't bat an eye at Matt's words, still focused on Shiro. "Now that you know, it's your call. Matty here is gonna pay for the wonderful makeover he gave my eye, but I have nothing against you. You can walk away right now, keep your mouth shut, and we'll leave you alone. Or you can give him what he deserves if you really want to. The more the merrier."

Shiro clenched his jaw. "We?" he questioned.

Just then, five people appeared from the shadows. All of them were around Quinn's age, young guys with vicious smirks painted on their faces. It was six against two, with Quinn's side holding the advantage of numbers.

"As much as I'd love to beat the shit out of you myself, I have to admit you've gotten pretty good recently. I decided it would be best to get some help to make sure you can't even throw a punch." Quinn held out his arms, gesturing to his crew as he locked eyes with Matt. He then looked to Shiro. "What will it be?"

Shiro didn't budge from where he stood, nor did he speak. Instead he reached up and pulled the scarf he was wearing from around his neck and tossed it aside. It was better to take it off than to leave the opponent an easy weapon to use against him.

Quinn frowned. "Really? Holt managed to find another fag who's just his type?" He shook his head. "Whatever." Quinn stepped forward, his crew closing in on Matt and Shiro. "Let's just call beating the shit outta' you a little community service. Gotta keep the kids safe from the pervs," he hissed at Shiro. With no further warning, he lunged forward and swung.

Quinn wasn't a martial artist, and neither were his guys, but they made up for their lack of skill with an onslaught of attacks thrown as fast and as hard as they could. Shiro could only block so many punches and kicks at once despite his combat training, and Matt was struggling to keep up. The only saving grace for the pair was that, in that moment, they threw caution to the wind and attacked with everything they had.

Shiro managed to take one of Quinn's grunts down with a well-aimed kick in the achilles. The young man crumbled, then tried to stand only to find that his leg was down for the count and shot with numbness. He tried to lash out with his arms and remaining leg, but Shiro shuffled out of reach. Down to five against two, their odds were hardly better.

Matt let out a pained grunt when Quinn and one of the others lunged at him together, dodging Quinn only for the other guy to land a solid punch on his chest that pushed all the air from his lungs and left him breathless. He collapsed to his knees, guard down and vulnerable as he struggled to inhale. Quinn took advantage and began to pummel him with punches and kicks.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shiro saw Matt go down. Three of Quinn's grunts were teaming up against him and he could barely defend himself, but he couldn't simply stand and watch Matt get attacked. With a deep growl, Shiro ducked back before slamming into one of his opponents. The young man was sent flying into Quinn, knocking the ringleader off his feet. The other man attacking Matt jumped out of the way, providing Matt with a few precious seconds to regain his bearings and get back on his feet.

Shiro's attack had cost him, though, as one of his opponents managed to grab the back of his collar and pull. Shiro choked as his jacket pressed harshly into his throat. He narrowed his eyes as he reached behind himself and grabbed his opponent's wrist in an iron grip before dropping into a crouch and pulling. The man holding his collar stumbled into him, tripped, then was sent sailing over Shiro and into the snowy dirt. The landing knocked the wind out of him, and he rolled slowly onto his side while coughing rather than attempting to stand again.

Quinn disappeared from in front of Matt, then suddenly he was slamming into Shiro. Quinn tackled him to the ground before he could fully stand, smashing Shiro's skull into the dirt before slamming a fist into his face. Shiro's remaining opponent kicked at his ribs while Quinn knelt on his chest to hold him down.

With Matt locked in a one on one against the second remaining grunt, Shiro had no help on its way. He was trapped and in pain, and it wasn't long before panic began to take hold and instinct kicked in. He'd been held down and hurt before. He'd left behind reason and lashed out like an animal. Back then, it had been to no avail. However, that was not the case with Quinn.

Shiro didn't bother thinking about the consequences if he went too far. He was out of control, a slave to memories and pain from the past. He growled and grabbed Quinn despite the flurry of attacks being thrown at him, kicked up a leg to leverage himself up, then flipped over to pin Quinn into the dirt. He raised a fist, then slammed it into Quinn's face. Quinn's nose crunched loudly, clearly broken, but Shiro didn't care. He raised his fist to strike again.

"Shiro!"

With only half a second of warning, Shiro glanced up to see one of the grunts flying toward him. He was tackled off Quinn and landed hard on his right shoulder. He must have landed just right, because pain flared in his arm. Every nerve was suddenly on fire, the pain consuming him entirely. Everywhere from his shoulder to his fingertips felt as if it was full of broken glass. It hurt so much that he couldn't breathe, and he let out nothing more than a choked gasp.

Matt saw Shiro fall and stay down, then swung out at his opponent's throat with a desperate chop. The man choked, and Matt swept his legs out from under him. The man toppled over backwards and lay still, groaning.

Without glancing back, Matt ran at the man who had taken down Shiro. He grabbed fistfuls of the man's shirt and pulled, ripping him off Shiro and throwing him into the dirt. The two were caught in a scuffle, though Shiro couldn't step in to help. The pain was starting to fade, but he could barely sit up.

Just as Shiro managed to push himself upright, a dirty sneaker stomped on his chest and shoved him back to the ground. He looked up just in time to see Quinn glaring down at him, nose crooked and face stained with blood.

"You fucker," Quinn growled before lifting his foot and stomping down again, this time on Shiro's head. Quinn's foot fell hard on Shiro's temple, and the world blurred. Everything hurt even though he couldn't see it. He could vaguely hear Matt shouting, though he couldn't make anything out. Another stomp landed on his head again and the world disappeared for just a moment. Quinn was ready to send him to the hospital, or worse, and Shiro was too stunned to defend himself.

Another shout from Matt sounded somewhat like Shiro's name, though it was hard to tell. Another stomp never came, and Shiro cracked his eyes open just enough to see Matt and Quinn at each other's throats. Both were bruised and bloody, though neither was ready to back down. Matt was pushing Quinn away from Shiro while Quinn lashed out, dotting Matt's face and chest with punches.

It seemed like an eternity before Matt got the upper hand and finally shoved Quinn clear of himself and Shiro. Quinn scowled and stepped forward, prepared to attack again, only for foreign shouts to fill the air.

The sights and sounds were starting to come into focus for Shiro as flashlights closed in on the group. A dozen people donning the uniforms of campus security and the local police came into view under the streetlamp, all of them shouting at everyone to freeze. A few peeled off the group and knelt next to Quinn's fallen grunts while the remainder went for Quinn and Matt. The two stepped apart, Matt planting himself between Quinn and Shiro.

"What the hell took so long? These freaks nearly beat the shit outta' me and my friends!" Quinn complained, prodding at his broken nose.

From where he lay on the ground, Shiro's stomach sank as he remembered Matt's past warnings. Quinn was great at talking his way out of things, and it seemed he wasn't hesitating to start. If he managed to turn the attack around and make it seem like Shiro and Matt had been the initiators, he'd walk free and Matt's fears would become reality.

One of the cops approached Quinn, who dropped his hands and sighed. "Seriously, would it kill the school to hire better security? I don't like getting jumped on my way home," Quinn grumbled. "What the hell am I supposed to do when some gorilla and white boy Bruce Lee are out to get me?"

The cop shook his head, and to everyone's surprise, pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He wrestled the cuffs around Quinn's wrists as he rattled off his rights.

"What the fuck are you doing? You deaf? These guys fuckin' attacked me-" Quinn started, only to be silenced when he was shoved to his knees by the officer, who pointed up at the streetlamp.

"See that?" the officer asked, pointing up at the light. Shiro followed the man's gaze and squinted up at the top of the light pole. A security camera came into view, this one clearly a new model recently installed. "Audio and video. We heard everything you said, and we saw you confront these two. Don't lie to my face or I'll add another charge to the list."

Quinn was pale and silent, his face blank as if he thought he was dreaming. He stumbled, lost for words, as the officer pulled him to his feet and moved him to sit by his grunts, all of whom had also been cuffed.

A security guard jogged over to Matt, pulling a flashlight from his pocket to shine on Matt's face and take stock of his injuries. A second guard approached Shiro carefully, kneeling next to him but making no move to touch him.

"Takashi Shirogane? Are you alright?" the woman asked calmly.

Shiro blinked in confusion, unsure of how the woman knew his name.

"We identified everyone involved in the fight when we mobilized in case any serious injuries occurred. I read part of your file, so I know you may be struggling right now. Is it okay if I look at your injuries?" she asked.

Shiro nodded, slowly pushing himself upright. He scrubbed tiredly at his face despite the painful bruises, then sat as still as he could as the security guard pulled a flashlight from her pocket and shone it on his face. She was gentle when she prodded at his bruises and paused whenever he flinched. It made him feel slightly relieved that she knew of his mental illness and was being careful. The last thing he wanted was to do was accidently lash out at someone who was trying to help him.

By the time Matt and Shiro had been bandaged by first-aid kits and cleared by the med student who was working security that night for a little extra cash, three police cars and two campus security cars had arrived. Quinn and his grunts were packed away into the police cars, and one security guard had contacted Sam to inform him of the incident and ask that he take Matt home immediately upon his arrival at the aviation building.

"Come on, we'll take your friend to the aero campus and you back to your dorm, Mr. Shirogane," the guard who had initially spoken to Shiro said. She nodded toward one of the cars.

Shiro nodded, then scanned his surroundings in search of a familiar head of sandy brown hair. His eyes locked on Matt, who was standing with another security guard. The guard put a hand on Matt's back to guide him towards the car, said something, then gestured toward Shiro. Matt glanced back at Shiro but dropped his eyes the moment he met Shiro's gaze and turned away. It sent a shock through Shiro's chest when Matt headed for the security car without looking back.

The hurt Shiro felt must have shown on Shiro's face, because the security guard with him stepped up beside him. "You've both been through a lot tonight. Give him a little time, and it'll be okay."

Shiro nodded and followed the woman as she led him to the other security vehicle, though he was far from convinced. His gaze lingered on the vehicle that held Matt until the two cars turned in opposite directions and the other disappeared from view.

-000-

In the safety of his dorm, Shiro pulled off his dirty and bloody clothes. He tossed them in the hamper and glanced in the mirror in his bathroom, grimacing at the bruises that stained his skin. He then turned and looked at his arm in the mirror, searching for any signs of damage. The chunks of metal fused to his skin looked the same as usual, and the earlier pain had disappeared. Whatever had happened was already over, though the experience had been strange. Shiro made a mental note to mention it to his doctor next time he had an appointment, though for the time being he simply took a warm shower to clean off the grime and ease the ache in his arm from the cold metal.

Wearing fresh clothes, Shiro stumbled tiredly to his bed. He flopped down, ready to sleep, then stuck out a hand and smacked around the nightstand until his hand found his phone. He turned his head so he could see the screen as he unlocked it and pulled up Matt's contact in search of new messages.

 **Shiro: Did you get home safe?**

 **Shiro: Are you okay?**

 **Shiro: Matt, you're worrying me. What's wrong?**

 **Shiro: If you're upset about what Quinn said, I'm sorry. He was wrong, though. I don't care who you are or who you like**

 **Shiro: Matt?**

There wasn't a single message from Matt, nor was there an icon stating that Matt had read his texts. Part of Shiro hoped he had simply gone straight to bed after getting home and never checked his phone, but the part of Shiro that knew Matt understood Matt had done no such thing. Matt refusing to so much as look at him hadn't been an accident.

Shiro sighed heavily and turned his head back into his pillow. He felt cold and hollow; completely lost. Matt, his closest friend, was radio silent. Matt wouldn't even look at him. Matt was hurt, and he wouldn't speak to Shiro about it. Matt didn't trust him. Matt was afraid of him.

Dropping his phone carelessly back on the nightstand, Shiro lay still. He focused on anything and everything outside of himself that he could, though not even the poke of Eurus' claws through the material of his shirt was enough to distract him from the prickle in his eyes.


	27. One Ring to Rule Them All

A/N: Me, updating at a decent time? It's as unlikely as you think. That aside, I hope you all enjoy, and good luck to anyone who may be returning to school around this time. Matt, Shiro, and I all understand your pain.

* * *

Three days later, Shiro had yet to hear from Matt. Neither had gone to classes, still healing from the injuries they sustained from Quinn and his grunts. Shiro had sent a dozen texts to Matt with no response, and his few attempts at calling had sent him straight to voicemail. The cold shoulder left Shiro drowning in ice, his heart and gut frozen to the point that he could barely get up in the morning or eat more than a small snack. He was devoid of the light Matt had brought into his life, one that Quinn may have stolen away permanently with a few stinging words.

Unable to stomach the loneliness any longer, Shiro found himself at the door of the Holt household with one fist raised to knock on the door. He hesitated, knowing whatever happened when that door opened would be the ultimatum for their friendship. Either there was a chance for them to talk, or Matt didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

Before Shiro could knock, the door opened. On the other side was Colleen Holt, dark circles under her weary eyes. Her lips curved into a small, sad smile when she met Shiro's gaze and took in the fading bruises that weren't covered by his long-sleeved shirt, gloves, jeans, or shoes.

"Hello, ma'am," Shiro greeted quietly. He tried to smile politely, but all he could manage was a broken imitation.

"Shiro, it's nice to see you," she stated genuinely.

The two stood in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say next. Colleen was a kind woman who Shiro had spoken to a few times, but it was usually Sam who talked to him. They were far more familiar with each other, though Sam was currently at the university teaching Shiro's aviation class with Instructor Con.

Colleen closed her eyes for a moment, then stepped back and opened the door wider to invite Shiro in. He accepted, hesitantly stepping inside just far enough that Colleen could close the door and keep out the chilly air and dusting of snow outside.

"Is, uh, is Matt here?" Shiro asked, his gaze sinking to the floor. The house was silent with Sam at work and Pidge at school, so it was hard to tell if Matt was present. No sounds of tinkering or dropped tools echoed through the house.

Colleen nodded. She was silent for a moment, then she looked up at Shiro with an expression that seemed to age her twenty years all at once. She looked worn and exhausted, eaten by worry and stress. "He isn't…himself. He hasn't eaten since Sam brought him home Tuesday, and he won't leave his room," she admitted, her voice low and quiet. "He's been through a lot and has had, eh, _episodes_ before, but this time it's different." Colleen glanced in the direction of her son's room, then back at Shiro. "We heard about Quinn, what he said. It scared Matt, more than any of us know. He finally got away from those who hurt him for who he is, and he hasn't said a word about it to anyone since, but…." Her voice trailed off.

"He's been ignoring my messages," Shiro said. "I understand if he's worried about what I think of him, but no matter how many times I told him it was okay, he would never respond. I'm not sure he's even read them."

Colleen nodded, then stepped aside and gestured toward Matt's room. "He's afraid, but he misses you, Shiro. I've never seen him trust someone the way he trusts you or light up whenever he's planning to meet with you. You're his friend, and no amount of fear will make him give up on you completely," she promised. "Go see him. Even if he won't talk, I know it'll make him feel better just having you there."

Shiro nodded slowly, then slipped off his shoes and headed for Matt's room. He paused outside of it, knocked, then slowly pushed the door open when he got no response.

Matt was on the floor in his room, surrounded by machine parts per usual. However, he seemed to stare at the parts more than he tried to use them. His eyes looked hazy and he moved slowly like he was in a trance. He didn't look up as Shiro stepped in, closed the door, and sat down on the floor across from him.

Neither spoke for a minute, deciding instead to simply sit in silence. The atmosphere tense, but Matt was clearly more so. The long pause seemed to make him relax some, though it was only just slightly.

After a moment, Shiro reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box covered in gift wrap. He leaned forward and set it between him and Matt, then looked at his friend, who had completely paused in his tinkering.

"A little while ago I asked your dad about what day your birthday is. He told me December first, so, uh, happy birthday," Shiro said, glancing down at the box before looking back at Matt.

Matt froze, finally looking up at Shiro. He said nothing, his eyes wary and confused as he slowly set down his things before hesitantly reaching for the box. He glanced from the box to Shiro, who smiled and nodded, before carefully pulling the gift wrap off the box. He paused before he opened it, glancing at Shiro once again. The younger man's caution made Shiro's heart clench.

Matt opened the box and stared, then carefully pulled out a silver ring. He examined it for a moment before he noticed the inside of the band, which had been painted as a rainbow. This made Matt's head jerk up as he looked at Shiro in a mix of shock and confusion.

"My brother recommended it. His friends gave him a similar one for his birthday after he came out to them, except the interior and exterior were reversed since he didn't care about whether or not strangers knew he wasn't straight," Shiro explained.

"Your brother?" Matt asked hesitantly. It was the first time Matt had spoken to Shiro since they fought Quinn, and his familiar voice made Shiro's heart flush with warmth.

Shiro nodded. "Yeah. He kind of has a thing for his friend Lance, not that he'll admit it. He was never good at pretending to be straight, but he never really needed to anyway." Shiro's face softened. "I know you needed to hide who you are before, but I want you to know there's no problem with being gay, not in my mind. You're my friend, Matt, and nothing will change that."

Matt was silent for a moment, glancing at the floor. He didn't look totally convinced. "Aren't you worried I'll like you?" he asked.

Shiro shook his head. "Just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he's attracted to every man on the planet," he said. "I'm not some asshole guy who thinks he's hot enough shit that everyone is attracted to him but thinks it's gross when other guys like them. Besides," Shiro paused. He grinned, then tapped one of his canines. It was flat on the tip instead of pointed. "In high school, my tooth got chipped when my boyfriend at the time slammed the breaks on his car because a squirrel ran out in front of us. I was talking, so when he hit the breaks my teeth slammed together and that one broke."

Matt blinked like his brain had short-circuited, clearly confused with the new information.

"I'm pansexual, Matt," Shiro said, filling in the blank with a slight smile on his face. "I like guys, too." He raised his eyebrows at Matt. "If you're going to think something's wrong with you, then I guess something's wrong with me, too."

Matt looked down at the ring in his hands and shook his head vigorously, then his lips curled up and a huff of laughter escaped his lips. "Of course not," he said. "I'm… sorry. I should've known you weren't an asshole like Quinn."

It was Shiro's turn to shake his head. "Hey," he said, leaning forward so he could rest his elbow on his knee and prop his chin on his palm. "I understand why you were worried. People treated you like shit for being gay, and I can't blame you for being careful. Especially with how bad it's gotten."

Matt looked up, totally meeting Shiro's gaze for the first time in three days. The two were finally able to see the damage that had been done to them, the bruises, cuts, and split lips.

Matt's eyes went downcast as he looked at the bruises on Shiro. A black eye, cheeks a mottled purple, a dark shoe print on his temple, a thick band of bruising around his throat. More yellows and purples disappearing under his collar. Matt himself wasn't any better off with the split in his lip, cut through his eyebrow, and purple splotches painted on his face and up and down his neck and arms.

"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me," Matt mumbled. He rubbed at his bruised knuckles instead of looking back up at Shiro and his injuries.

Shiro didn't have time to think as his body took control from his mind before it could come up with something else to say. The next thing he knew, he was leaning across the gap between them and had his arms wrapped around Matt's smaller frame. He was gentle, careful to not disturb Matt's injuries, but his hold was firm enough to make Matt relax after the tension from surprise seeped from his body.

"I'd do it again if I needed to," Shiro admitted. "Whatever happens, don't be afraid to call me. I'll be there, whether we're fighting assholes or dealing with some bullshit from the school."

It took a moment for Matt to fully relax, then his arms found their way around Shiro's back and his hands grabbed Shiro's shirt in an iron grip. They stayed there, not moving, not leaving. They were comfortable, and despite their bruises neither felt unsafe. Even Shiro didn't tense or pull away even though his metal arm and Matt were separated only by his shirt and jacket.

"What was his name?" Matt whispered. "Your boyfriend?"

"Adam."

"Why'd you break up?"

"We got into a fight about our career plans after graduation."

"Did you ever talk again?"

Shiro took a moment before he responded. "He died in a car accident before we could swallow our pride."

"Oh," Matt said. "Do you regret it?"

"Dating him? Never. Letting us part on bad terms? Every day."

They silenced for a moment.

"What was it like?" Matt questioned.

Shiro sighed. "We weren't super open about it since a lot of people around us didn't approve, but it was perfect. We were happy."

"Sounds nice."

"It was."

Neither spoke again, content without words. In their moment of peace, neither of the young men noticed Colleen Holt outside the door. She had meant to leave them alone, but she overheard them as she silently carried clean towels from the laundry room to the bathroom. Through the crack in the door she saw her son and his friend wrapped in each other's arms, and all her worries disappeared. For the first time, there was someone she could entrust her son to with the knowledge that he would never be hurt by them.

-000-

Monday morning on the fourth of December, Matt and Shiro returned to their classes. Shiro found himself hesitating in front of his mirror as he brushed his teeth, wincing at the bruises that had yet to fade. The ones around his neck had lightened, though while it took a certain amount of focus to see them, they were still visible. His face didn't look much better than it had when he got home after the fight, still purple and mottled. A dark ring remained stained around one of his eyes and the print on his temple was still vivid.

As someone who frequently brought uninvited attention to himself and intimidation to others, Shiro felt sick at the thought of others seeing the bruises that marred him. What if they thought he had gotten into a bad crowd, or some dirty business? Did he really want to solidify the beliefs of the people around him that didn't so much as attempt to get to know who he really was? It wasn't so much their opinions that bothered him, as he knew better than to let the opinions of strangers control him directly. Instead he was worried about the stares, the whispers, and the icy feeling of dread he felt nearly every waking moment of his day in public.

For a moment, Shiro contemplated skipping classes. His instructors had been informed about what happened, and he knew Sam was happy to help him catch up in his aviation course. He could easily miss a few more days while the bruises healed and disappeared. He couldn't, though. He rarely missed classes, and anyone who paid enough attention to notice his existence would see that he'd already missed three days in a row. Missing more would only draw extra attention and more questions when he got back. Skipping would also be bothersome to Sam, who had worried over Shiro for days after the fight. The last thing Shiro wanted to do was make Sam worry that he had been hurt worse than initially thought.

Worst of all consequences was Matt, who already felt bad about Shiro's injuries. Following the three-day period of silence, after Shiro went to the Holt household so they could talk, Matt had sent Shiro a number of texts apologizing for dragging him into the mess with Quinn, for getting him hurt, for making him miss class, for ignoring him, for worrying him, for every single thing he could think of. If Shiro stayed in his dorm, regardless of whether he told Matt the reason or not, Matt would be back to apologizing again. Shiro was done with Matt's apologies. He didn't want his friend to think worse of himself than he already did for something out of his control.

With a heavy sigh, Shiro gathered his things and left for class. He pulled his hood up as he made the cold, snowy trek across campus. The frigid wind bit his cheeks and nose even with his hood up and head down. Ideally, he would have worn his scarf, but it had been lost in the fight days ago.

Shiro entered his aviation class silently. He kept his eyes locked on his seat to avoid any stares his classmates may have been sending him as they took in his appearance. His hood was down, and he could feel the eyes of others burning his skin as they glanced and stared. It made him want to squirm, but he fought with every fiber of his being to stay still.

As more students entered the room and more of them took notice of Shiro's poor condition, the tension in his body became unbearable. He was one twitch away from walking out of the room and not coming back until the following day when his saving grace appeared in the form of Sam Holt.

The older man smiled when he saw Shiro and beelined across the room to greet him.

"It's nice to have you back," Sam said, earning a nod from Shiro.

"It's nice to _be_ back. I was getting bored," Shiro replied with a casual wave of his hand. Neither spoke of the incident from days before, instead discussing points from the previous days Shiro had missed. They found that Shiro was well-acquainted with the subject per usual and was knowledgeable enough to keep up with the rest of the class without any explanations.

During Sam's interference, Shiro's classmates looked away, allowing him to make it through class without anyone looking at him. A heavy sigh of relief escaped him before he realized he still had to go to English and his mechanics class that day and do it all over again. There, he had no one to casually converse with before the professors arrived and the class started. He started to lose hope that he'd make it through the day when a familiar face greeted him just outside the door of his aviation class.

"Hey," Matt said, a smile on his face. His hair was not pulled back into a ponytail this time even though he'd taken a liking to the style. Instead his hair hung at his shoulders, and Shiro caught a glimpse of the bruises it was hiding when Matt's head moved.

"Hey," Shiro responded. His gaze dropped to a glint at Matt's side where the ring Shiro had given him was settled on his right index finger. The silver outside of the band shone dully in the hallway lights.

Matt followed Shiro's gaze to his finger, and he lifted his hand to tug the ring off. He flipped it over in his hand, looking at the way the silver turned to rainbow on the inside.

"Thanks, again. For the ring," Matt said quietly. The smile on his face contained a sort of contentedness that Shiro hadn't seen on him since they met.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Yeah."

The two silenced for a moment as Matt slid the ring back on, wincing when it passed over his bruised knuckles.

Shiro sighed. "Hey, uh," he began. He felt Matt's gaze land on his face, and he couldn't help but let his own slide to the floor. "I didn't really get the chance to say it before, but… I'm, uh, I'm sorry about what happened with Quinn," Shiro stated awkwardly.

"Why?" Matt's tone was pure confusion. Likely, his face was too, but Shiro couldn't bring himself to look up.

"Well…" Shiro rubbed at his face. "I told you I'd help you and make sure Quinn didn't hurt you, but…" He finally looked up, eyes dragging over the fading bruises on Matt's skin. "I didn't do a very good job of that."

Matt paused for a moment, face unreadable as he looked at Shiro before shocking him by rolling his eyes so hard that his irises seemed to disappear completely for a moment. " _Shiro."_ His voice was a mix of exasperation and annoyance. "Literally the _only_ reason Quinn didn't kill me is because you were there helping me out. You taught me well, but I'm still not that good when it comes to fighting people. I could never have taken on Quinn and his crew by myself and gotten out alive. You were there, you saw me struggling during that fight, and you saved my ass more times than I can count even when it got you hurt!"

Shiro didn't look convinced. "Still, you got hurt pretty bad even though I said I'd watch out for you-"

Matt grabbed Shiro's shoulders and shook them with each word he spoke.

" _Its. Not. Your. Fault._ "

The two were close, enough so that Shiro could see how Matt had gotten taller yet again. The younger man was growing like a weed, the top of his head level with Shiro's nose.

Matt seemed oblivious to their shrinking height difference, his gaze on Shiro's black eye that had yet to fade. He narrowed his eyes at it, thinking, then slowly lowered his gaze as guilt leaked onto his face.

"If anyone needs to apologize," Matt began, "it's me. You're my friend, not my body guard, but _I_ dragged you into this. _I_ got _you_ hurt. Quinn never would have bothered you otherwise, but because of me…" His fingers rose to the dark bruise around Shiro's eye, and he winced when Shiro flinched away from the contact. "If it's still not healing, you should get that checked out."

Shiro stepped back, one hand rising to lightly touch his eye as if that was what drove him back, and not how close Matt had gotten to touching the mess that was his right arm. "It's fine," he said. It was true that the med working as a student security guard had given him the okay to go straight back to his dorm after the fight, but it wasn't like he'd kept her updated on his injuries and how his eye seemed to be healing far slower than any injury of his ever had before. Then again, it had been years since the last time he was so bruised.

Matt looked troubled, but he didn't fight. "Just keep an eye on it, please."

Shiro deadpanned. "My eye _is_ on it." He pointed at the bruised eye itself.

Matt simply stared, then dropped his head heavily into one of his hands with an exhausted expression. "If you didn't look like you go hit by a train already, I'd shove you out the window," he groaned.

Shiro let out an amused huff.

Matt scrubbed at his face. "Anyway, remember none of this is your fault. You did more than you needed to do for me already."

Shiro didn't nod, simply standing where he was until Matt shook his head and turned.

"You've got another class, right? Come on, I'll walk with you."

-000-

With Shiro leading the way, the two began their trek to Shiro's English class. Neither spoke at first, not wanting to continue their last conversation. Quinn was done for. He was in the past. They needed to stop dwelling on him and what happened.

"Uh."

It was Matt who broke the silence. His eyes were on the ground, his shoulders hunched. He rubbed at the back of his neck and chewed his lip as inner turmoil rumbled in his veins before he finally spoke.

"Um, I was just, uh, wondering… Your old, uh, boyfriend, uh, Adam? How did you guys, uh, meet?"

Matt stumbled over his words as the tips of his ears turned red. The question felt invasive to him, and he worried Shiro might find it too personal.

"Hm." Shiro looked over at Matt, noticing his red ears and stiff shoulders. He frowned but said nothing about it. "It was in middle school, I think. We lived on the same road, so we ran into each other at the bus stop every day."

"Oh, uh, when did you guys, uh-" Matt paused.

"Start going out?" Shiro finished for him, getting a nod from Matt. "The summer between our first and second year of high school."

Matt frowned, curiosity in his eyes like he wanted to know more, but he hesitated.

"I'm not going to get mad and strangle you to death just because you asked a question about my ex," Shiro said.

"Yeah, sorry, I just… I've never met another guy who, you know, uh, went out with a, uh, another guy, but I don't want to, eh, invade on anything." Matt could barely speak.

Shiro surprised himself when he reached out and set a reassuring hand on Matt's back. "I don't mind talking about it. If you ask a question I don't want to answer, I just won't," he offered.

Matt stiffened when Shiro's hand touched his back, then he slowly relaxed. He still didn't look over at Shiro, but he resumed speaking with less hesitation and stumbling.

"How long were you, uh, together?"

"Three years. We had our fight just after graduation."

"Did anyone know about you?"

"Our parents, my brother. No one at school really knew. A lot of the people I hung out with weren't super homophobic, but they definitely didn't want to hang around a guy who likes other guys."

"So, you had to hide it?"

"Kind of? It wasn't like we wouldn't talk to each other at school or anything. It was more like people just thought we were close friends."

"Was there anyone who knew and was bothered by it?"

Shiro shrugged. "Our parents were okay with it, and it's not like Keith was going to be bothered by it." He paused, then sighed. "Actually, there _was_ an old couple on our road who saw us together and always yelled at us. One time, Keith heard them screaming about how we were going to hell, so he snuck outside with a screwdriver one night and disassembled part of the fence around their garden so animals could get inside and eat it," he explained. "They blamed Adam and I, but we knew we didn't do anything, and they couldn't prove it. I found the screwdriver in Keith's room, but I never said anything to anyone."

Matt snorted. "You brother seems to like getting into trouble with screwdrivers."

Shiro nodded.

Matt looked like his curiosity was far from gone, but they had reached Shiro's next class.

"I'll text you later," Shiro promised, slipping his phone from his pocket to check the time. He had three minutes.

Matt nodded. "Thanks for uh, telling me about you and Adam." He gave Shiro a wave, then jogged off.

Shiro watched Matt go, then headed into his class. He took his seat, the contentedness in his expression draining away as his thoughts remained on Adam. He missed him. No matter how much time passed, Shiro didn't stop regretting the fight, and leaving Adam on such a sour note just before his death. That was probably his greatest regret, besides that day he had led his team to their deaths while in the military. After all, Adam had been right. The military was dangerous. Shiro had felt the worst it could give. Adam had told him what would happen, and he didn't listen. Then the world decided to teach Shiro a lesson he'd never forget - not just once, but twice.

Shiro was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the stares from his classmates as their gazes raked over his bruises and their whispered flitted through the air.


	28. Finals

As the semester drew to a close, exams neared. The issue with Quinn was out of the way, but Matt and Shiro each had finals to study for, and they found themselves without much time to meet. They'd text when they could, though their exchanges were few and far between. Following the fight against Quinn, they met up in person only three times before finals when they took breaks from studying.

Unfortunately, their meetings were somewhat awkward. Matt had stopped asking about Adam when he noticed Shiro getting progressively quieter whenever they spoke about him, and there were no recent movies to use as filler in conversation. They'd talk about their classes sometimes, though Matt wasn't familiar with the "pilot jargon" Shiro had the tendency to go on about, and Matt may as well have been speaking a foreign language to Shiro when he complained about calculus.

It wasn't until their final day of classes that they met up for more than a quick meal at a restaurant or in the cafeteria. Shiro had finished his exams Wednesday and waited outside Matt's calculus classroom Thursday afternoon to meet up with him before they left for the winter break.

"That was _brutal_ ," Matt groaned as he exited his classroom. "Like, the material isn't hard to understand, but there were ten problems with, like, fifty parts each." He scowled. "I'm suing them for child abuse."

"You're twenty," Shiro remind. "Definitely an adult at this point."

"Then I'll sue them for _adult_ abuse," Matt countered.

Shiro raised his eyebrows, then chuckled lightly. "If that was possible, I would have sued over the class I had at six in the morning last year."

Matt's jaw dropped. "You had _what_ now?!"

"I needed another math credit, but I'd already done up to trig and didn't think I'd be able to pass calculus. They ended up having a class about financial work that would cover my credit, but the only one was offered at six," Shiro explained.

Matt deadpanned. "You should sue for free tuition."

"I already have free tuition through my scholarship."

"Then sue them for a new car that isn't half your size."

"It's not that small."

"When you're standing next to it, it kind of is."

"I mean, it runs."

"Yeah, but who doesn't want to drive a Mercedes?"

"Do you have any idea how expensive the insurance on those is?"

"Sue for insurance money too."

"That wouldn't work."

"I mean if you get hit by a campus bus, you get free tuition, but since you already have free tuition, you could just sue for some extra money."

"Where did the bus come from? And why are you so fixated on filing a lawsuit?"

Matt sighed. "Calculus, Shiro. Calculus."

Shiro shook his head. "Anyway, is your dad coming to pick you up, or do you want to go back to my dorm and distract Eurus for me while I pack up my stuff?"

Matt froze, glanced at Shiro with wide eyes, then darted for the door. " _I want to see my_ _little girl!_ "

"No, you can't have her!" Shiro called after Matt as he jogged to catch up to him.

-000-

When the pair arrived at Shiro's dorm, Matt instantly scooped Eurus off the floor and spun in excited circles with her.

"If she pukes, you're cleaning it up," Shiro threatened as he nudged the snowy boots Matt had left haphazardly at the door into a neat pair with his own.

Matt gave no response, dropping to the floor so Eurus could stand on his chest. He yelped when she pawed at his glasses.

Shiro passed the two with a smile on his way to his room, then started his work. He pulled his backpack—which had already been cleaned out after exams—from his closet and dragged out each drawer of his dresser, folding every article of clothing carefully to ensure it would all fit in the bag. He then went through the closet and pulled out the few items hanging within.

"No! Give them back!"

Shiro turned toward the doorway to the main area of his dorm when he heard Matt howl, only to see Eurus trot into the bedroom with the younger man's glasses dangling from her mouth.

"Eurus, no," Shiro scolded, reaching down to pull the glasses away. He held them carefully so he wouldn't smudge the lenses, then gave Eurus a scratch under her chin as a peace offering when she glared at him. "You have a dozen mouse toys laying around, and these aren't one of them."

Movement in the doorway caught Shiro's attention, and he looked up to see Matt watching him. The IT student's hair was falling out of his ponytail from him squirming on the floor while playing with Eurus, and his shirt was disheveled. He had a grin on his face as he looked to Eurus, who approached him and wound around his legs with an innocent 'meow'.

"I know what you are, traitor," Matt said as he bent down to pet Eurus, his voice light and teasing like he was talking to a baby.

"Watch your hoodie strings. She'll eat them," Shiro warned just as Eurus rose up on her hind legs to seize one.

"Nooo! Don't chew on them!" Matt tried to pull the string away, put Eurus had already dug her teeth into it and didn't plan on letting go.

Shiro swooped in to save the day, picking Eurus up and pulling her away so she'd drop the string. "Why are you like this?" he asked as he held her up in the air with a disappointed expression. "You're cute until you start attacking things.

"She's _always_ cute," Matt countered.

Shiro held Eurus out toward Matt so she could claim the strings of his hoodie once again, causing Matt to shout and jump backwards. Shiro followed, chasing him with Eurus, who was swiping at the air in search of the strings on Matt's hoodie. "Still cute?" Shiro asked.

"This is a hate crime!" Matt whined, grabbing his hoodie strings tightly in his fists so Eurus couldn't grab them. His face was flushed and split by a grin as he slowed. When Shiro stopped giving chase, Eurus pawed at Matt's hand as if she knew what he was hiding within them. The sight made giggles bubble up from Matt's throat, and he moved his strings to one hand so he could reach out and pet Eurus with the other.

Shiro paused, swallowing thickly. There was something about the way Matt smiled that never failed to make him feel warm. He hadn't noticed it recently, as he'd been too wrapped up in dealing with Quinn, though the reprieve gave him a chance to pick up on what he'd once been oblivious to. He finally saw the way Matt's frowns and grins tugged at the scar on his cheek and made it curl with his changing mood. He noticed how Matt's hair had grown even longer, and less of the light, fine strands tended to escape his ponytail.

"Shiro?"

Shiro blinked, his eyes shifting to meet Matt's. "Hm?"

Matt shook his head. "Nothing. You just looked like you spaced out for a minute. If you're worn out from exams and want to sleep or something, I can call my dad to come get me."

"No, no, it's fine," Shiro assured. "I just, uh, noticed that your hair is even longer than I remembered." Internally, Shiro groaned at his awkward cover.

Matt reached behind his head and ran his hand over the ponytail. "Yeah. I didn't plan on growing it out much and was thinking about cutting it, but I'm not sure. I've always had short hair, so something different is nice, I guess."

"I like it," Shiro blurted. He internally smacked himself once he registered his own words.

"Oh. Thanks." Another small smile crept onto Matt's face as he ran his hand over his ponytail again. He looked up at Shiro, nodding toward his head. "By the way, I was wondering… Do you cut your own hair? It never seems to overgrow at all, but it would probably be expensive to go to a hairdresser all the time to keep up with it."

Shiro shrugged, subconsciously scrubbing at his buzz cut before dragging his fingers through the white tuft of bangs on his forehead. "I usually try to keep up with it myself. I've had my hair like this for a while, so even trimming the back is pretty easy. I go to the hairdresser once in a while, though. Usually I do it between semesters when I'm home since my brother never gets his hair trimmed unless I make him do it. It's easiest to just have both of us go in at the same time."

Matt nodded, then sighed and dropped to sit on the floor. He reached behind his head, pulled off his hair tie, then shook out his hair. It had barely brushed his shoulders not too long ago, and now it was beginning to creep toward his back.

Shiro watched in silence as Matt ran his fingers through the tangles in his hair before swiping it all back and away from his face.

"So, what plans do you have for winter break?" Matt asked. He hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on his forearms as he looked up at Shiro expectantly.

"Hm. Nothing really," Shiro answered honestly, his eyes darting to the wall as if it would erase his earlier blatant staring. "I'll probably just see what my brother's been up to and see how his friends are doing. I need to buy flowers for Mrs. McClain on my way back, too, to thank her again for looking out for Keith while I'm here."

"If you aren't too busy," Matt began, "we should try to hang out. I know you live kinda far from here, right? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind driving over to where you're at a few times as long as the road aren't bad, though."

Shiro raised his eyebrows. "I live about two hours from here," he warned.

Matt shrugged. "It's not _that_ far. Before my dad retired, there was one time his flight home got redirected to an airport two states away at the last minute. We had to drive eight hours to go pick him up. It wasn't too bad, though. All I need is my DS and a Pokemon game."

"The Gameboy was better," Shiro countered.

"The graphics in Gameboy are shit."

"You kids these days just can't appreciate quality gaming."

"Alright, grandpa, do you want some beet and cranberry juice to drink while you play with your chalk and slate?"

"Add four shots of espresso and you have yourself a deal."

Matt stuck out his tongue in response, causing Shiro to laugh.

A sudden chime made Matt jump, then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Just a second," he told Shiro before answering. "Hello?"

Shiro stood in silence as Matt talked to Sam, who was on the other end. Eurus began to squirm in his hands, so he set her down on the floor carefully to avoid making noise before returning to his backpack and taking stock of what he'd already packed. He had little left to take care of, but pretending to be occupied felt far less awkward than simply standing and waiting for Matt to finish talking on the phone.

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Yeah. Bye."

Matt slid his phone back into his pocket and jumped to his feet with a sigh.

"You gotta go?" Shiro asked, turning away from his backpack.

"Yep," Matt confirmed, shoving his hands into his pockets. He glanced at Shiro's bag. "Do you need help moving anything into your car before I go? My dad won't mind if I'm a few minutes late getting to the IT building."

Shiro shook his head. "Nah. The only stuff that's actually mine I can get out of here myself. Besides, I always get put in the same dorm every semester, so if I leave something behind it'll either be here when I come back or the janitors might pick it up and put it in lost and found."

"Okay," Matt said with a nod. He reached up, stretching his arms over his head. "Text me later, and we'll come up with something to do during breaks." He started for the door with Shiro on his heels but paused as he was tugging his boots back onto his feet. "Also, you better send me pictures of Eurus during the break. If I don't get to see her, I'm gonna get withdrawal." He fixed Shiro with a serious stare, and for a moment, it seemed possible that he wasn't kidding.

"How else are you going to get over your cat addiction?" Shiro asked. "Oh, also, glasses." He held out Matt's glasses, which he'd forgotten to return once he took them from Eurus

Matt accepted his glasses and slid them back onto his face as he prepared to leave. He wiggled his feet in his boots and pulled up his hood to cover his head, then glared at the door. "If it starts snowing harder during my walk, I'm suing God."

"I don't think you can sue God," Shiro said as he leaned against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed.

Matt raised his eyebrows. "I watch anime, Shiro."

"What does anime have to do with suing God?"

"The nakama power-up makes anything possible."

"The what-"

"Text me later!" Matt shouted as he yanked the door open and darted outside.

Shiro caught the door before it could swing shut, edging forward to watch Matt nearly trip while running down the stairs. The younger man broke into a sprint when he reached the sidewalk, yelling in protest as snowflakes gripped his clothes and the cold air cut through his hoodie. An amused snort escaped Shiro, who pushed the door shut and returned to his room.

After gathering what he believed was the rest of his things, Shiro took a final lap around the dorm. He'd packed everything from the spare room into his duffel bag earlier, and he'd cleaned and emptied the bathroom. The kitchen cabinets and refrigerator were free of food, and the bedroom closet had been checked twice. Shiro pulled out all the drawers on the dresser a final time, then double checked the nightstand. There was nothing of his remaining in the dorm except for Eurus, who had already crawled halfway into his backpack. Shiro stepped in and opened the bag further so Eurus could climb in before he zipped it closed.

"I'll let you out when we're on the road," he promised, sliding the straps over his shoulders. He went to the spare room to pick up his duffel bag, then with his phone in one hand and his keys in the other, he slipped on his shoes and opened the door.

Following a brief visit to the dorm office to drop off his key, Shiro drove his car onto the main road. As promised, at the first red light, he reached over to his backpack and pulled it open so Eurus could crawl out. He set the bag on the floor just before the light changed so Eurus could settle into the passenger seat for a nap during the ride.

"Alright, Eurus. You ready to go home?"

-000-

Two hours, twenty minutes, and a stop at a fancy grocery store for a nice flower bouquet later, Shiro arrived home. Oddly, the door was locked, and all the lights were off. The sight made Shiro uneasy. It was getting late, and school had gotten out hours ago. Also, as far as Shiro knew, Keith wasn't supposed to be at work that night. It was far too early for the teen to have gone to bed, but he didn't appear to be home.

With his bags on his shoulders, bouquet and keys in one hand, and Eurus in the other, Shiro made his way into the house. He went straight for his bedroom, navigating with ease through the dark rooms until he reached his door.

As expected, Shiro's room had a layer of dust on it. He'd been gone for months, and Keith was too busy with work and school for Shiro to ask him to clean it along with the rest of the house. Shiro grimaced when he dropped his bags on his bed only for little bits of dust and fur to fly back up at him. He instantly went for his window and yanked it open to air out the room while he unpacked.

Before he started moving his things, however, Shiro wandered through the house in search of Keith. The teen's room was empty, as was the bathroom, though Shiro eventually found a note on the kitchen counter scribbled in his brother's messy print.

 _'Went to Lances to finish a project. Will be home after school tomorrow.'_

Why Keith hadn't simply texted him, Shiro wasn't sure, until he saw Keith's phone just a few feet from the note. It was plugged into the wall with a green light indicating that is was fully charged. Shiro thought it was likely Keith had forgotten to charge his phone the night before and woke to find it dead when he left in the morning, as his brother was often forgetful during late nights.

Shiro unplugged Keith's phone and charger, then took them to his brother's room. He then returned to the kitchen and washed the few dishes that sat in the sink.

Following a quick inspection of anything in the house that might need cleaning, Shiro returned to his room and began unpacking. Nearly all of his clothes went straight into the washer. Eurus's things were returned to their spot near the front door, and Shiro's duffel bag of dumbbells and other small pieces of equipment was emptied into his room.

By the time Shiro finished his unpacking and laundry, it was completely dark out. He flopped down on his bed, exhausted, and sighed when Eurus immediately jumped onto his chest. He'd just dusted and vacuumed his room while waiting for his clothes to finish, though Eurus was already intent on dirtying it again.

"Do you mind?" Shiro groaned, scratching her chin. He received only a contented purr in response.

In Shiro's pocket, his phone vibrated. He dug around awkwardly for it then squinted at the screen when the brightness suddenly blinded him. After scrambling to turn down the brightness, he found a few texts from Matt in his notifications.

 **Matt: Did you get home safe?**

 **Matt: If ur dead I'm taking Eurus**

 **Matt: Im jk are you home yet**

 **Shiro: Yeah. I got back about an hour and a half ago.**

 **Shiro: I had to put all my stuff away and clean**

 **Matt: Did your brother not clean up after himself**

 **Shiro: No, he did. My room is just dusty since I've been away for a while**

 **Shiro: I had to wash all my clothes too. Laundry takes a while**

 **Matt: Tru**

 **Matt: Is there anything you want to meet up and do soon**

 **Matt: Im down for anything**

 **Shiro: I'm not really sure yet. Honestly, I just need a nap or something**

 **Matt: You sound like a grandpa**

 **Shiro: Respect your elders, whippersnapper**

 **Matt: K gramps do you want some prunes with that**

 **Shiro: I'd rather die**

 **Matt: Same**

 **Matt: If ur tired then you can just text me in the morning or smth**

 **Matt: I wont keep you awake lol im not that mean**

As much a Shiro wanted to continue talking to Matt, his eyelids had grown so heavy that he could barely keep them open. Even his fingers struggled to keep a decent grasp on his phone, which threatened to slide from his grip like a slimy eel.

 **Shiro: Sure. I'll talk to you later**

 **Matt: Don't forget or ill show up outside ur window at 3am**

 **Shiro: Please don't**

 **Shiro: If Keith thinks you're an intruder, you'll probably get stabbed**

 **Shiro: I don't think you actually know exactly where I live anyway**

 **Matt: Give me 2 min on google and I will**

 **Shiro: Again, please don't**

 **Matt: lmao gn Shiro**

 **Shiro: See you later**

Shiro shut off his phone and rolled on his side to plug it in on the nightstand despite protests from Eurus, who fell of his chest. The screen lit up again once the charger was connected, illuminating a framed photo in the darkness that made Shiro freeze.

Shiro's hair was darker in the photo. His bangs were black instead of white, and no scar stretched over the bridge of his nose. He had a wide smile and eyes filled with light staring into the camera. A foreign arm was wrapped around the back of his waist while his own arm sat comfortably around the waist of another. Dark skin, thick hair, and a lean body a few inches taller than Shiro stood beside him. Shiro and Adam were still young in the picture, about sixteen, and sophomores in high school. They wore cheap suits bought for the homecoming dance that ran wild in the background. The pair was happy, attending a dance together as a couple for the first time.

That night years ago had been special to Shiro. For him, it had once marked the beginning of what he thought would be his life with Adam at his side as something more than a friend. Even when they fought and broke up, Shiro kept the picture in a frame on his nightstand. Something in his head told him not to throw it away no matter how upset he was. Then Adam died, and Shiro stared at that picture every night in tears. He and Adam had few pictures together, having been together when smartphones with front-facing cameras weren't quite as popular and homophobia made being open about their relationship a dangerous feat. There was little physical evidence of their relationship remaining—only few photos existed to look back on—and there wasn't a day that went by when Shiro was beyond relieved that he hadn't thrown that picture away.

In the present day, as Shiro stared at the photo, his heart ached. He missed Adam. He missed his crew. He missed all the people he had failed and lost in the past no matter how hard he tried to keep them safe. The memories that surfaced turned his gut to ice and made his chest throb with his pained heart. If there was one thing he preferred about the dorm over his own home, it was that the dorm didn't have these little mementos that made him remember what he often so desperately wanted to forget.

Shiro rolled onto his other side sharply so he couldn't see the picture as his eyes began to burn. He was exhausted already, and the hurt bubbling up from within him only fed his weariness. He wished he could move on, that he could get passed all that had happened, but he knew he never truly would. He could get better, but he could never go back to the person he was before everything went to hell. That carefree teen was broken after a fatal car crash, and he died in an enemy prison cell.

With nothing else to do and no other way to escape his thoughts, Shiro surrendered to the oblivion of sleep.


End file.
